The Death Eater's Daughter
by Sunny Williams
Summary: To be read following its acclaimed partner story, The Progeny of the Pure-Blood: She was only here because Draco needed her. If she'd known what was in store, she might have reconsidered. Danger, tragedy, The Boy Who Lived. Would she be sorry she'd come?
1. Chapter One: The Acceptance and the Reje

_Dearest Readers,_

_I present to you a partner story. It is meant to be read following its predecessor, The Progeny of the Pure-Blood, found here: www. Fanfiction . net/s/3288453/1 . However, it can be read on its own, as well. But for those who begin here, I make no apologies for my O/C, for I am very proud of her. _

_As always, I thank you graciously for taking the time to check out my story. I do know that you have many choices, so I promise to respond to all reviews and to value every person reading. Please enjoy!_

_Sunny_

**The Death Eater's Daughter**

Sunny Williams

**Chapter One – The Acceptance and the Rejection**

She had never been very good at goodbyes. They had always overwhelmed her with a devastating sense of loss, and there was nothing that Luci Keegan feared more than loss. Her life was about to change drastically, and she had a sickening notion that goodbyes might soon be in her future.

It had all started that late April morning. Luci had been in the front yard with her mother, and they had been watering the grass, the old-fashioned Muggle way. Melissa Keegan insisted on this, proclaiming that it prevented her daughter from becoming spoiled by the conveniences of magic. Truthfully, Luci didn't mind. She was far from lazy, and her Muggle heritage on her mother's side was something of which she was proud.

The owl had landed inconspicuously in a nearby tree. It had hooted incessantly in an attempt to get Luci's attention. She had finally noticed and hurried to the perch, where the owl had waited impatiently for her to detach the letter and then given her an annoyed glance before sailing back into the blue sky. Luci had stood with the envelope in her hand, staring dejectedly at the seal.

"Who's it from?" her mother had asked, as she was bending over the rose garden.

"Professor Dumbledore," Luci had responded.

"Oh, dear," she had heard her mother sigh, but Luci had already begun to scamper back into the house, tearing through the Hogwarts crest as she went. Her heart had been pounding unpleasantly, much as it was in this present moment. The last time that the Headmaster had written, it had been to inform her that her father had been sent to Azkaban, the Wizarding prison. Seeing as Luci hated her father, this was not upsetting news. Still, one couldn't really consider it _good_ news either. No, news from Albus Dumbledore was rarely good news.

The letter had read:

"_Dear Luci,_

_I am displeased to inform you that the situation here has become increasingly dire. While your father remains in Azkaban, I fear that your brother has become involved with the Death Eaters. Currently, he is hatching a plan to kill me, and, should he succeed, will be inducted officially into their assembly. However, the boy is not a murderer, and therefore, I believe that he will fail. This bodes even worse for him, for Lord Voldemort will be very angry, seeking to find him and to punish him. This is where your assistance is requested. He will need protection from Lord Voldemort when all is said and done, and you are just the person for the job. I understand that you've received your Auror's license – congratulations! I know that your mother is very proud. You are now equipped with the means to protect your brother. I hope that you will consider my offer. Please send an owl in response as soon as possible so that I can make the necessary arrangements._

_Cordially,_

_Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore"_

Luci had found herself unable to stand halfway through reading the note, and had ended up sinking into the couch, her hands shaking, rattling the parchment.

The letter had been dated almost a week prior to the day of its arrival. International owl post was a nasty business, and more cantankerous owls could not be found than those who flew overseas. Luci, endowed with a vast love for animals, often sent any correspondence via the U.S. mail system. It was faster and didn't involve poor, overworked owls. However, in this case, due to the sensitive information of her response, she did think it best to send a trustworthy owl. She and her mother didn't keep one, but one of her best friends, Amy Westin, had a lovely brown owl by the name of Octavian.

Amy would be here soon, owl in tow, and Luci would have to tell her that she might be going away, for the indefinite future. She'd invited Josh and Kristen, as well, and hoped to be able to inform all of them simultaneously, so as to avoid further distress on her own part.

Presently, she was waiting, sitting in a stiff chair in the living room, her stomach turning. Her tawny cat, Persephone, dozed in her lap.

"Would you miss me, Persy?" she asked the feline, who paid her no mind.

So Luci, instead, read over Professor Dumbledore's letter for the umpteenth time. She simply hadn't been able to desist.

How could the Headmaster possibly think that she was _equipped_ for something like this? The Ministry had only deemed her an Auror a few weeks ago, and she was still certain that they'd made a mistake. However, when she'd sent for confirmation, they had notified her that, not only had she passed, but she had also received honors. She didn't believe this either, of course. She felt that she'd been entirely inadequate during all of the testing. She'd only barely defeated the Chipretta there at the end of it all.

He was right on time, as always. In the eight years that Luci had known Josh Chambers, she couldn't ever remember him being late. She admired this quality, considering that she was anything but punctual. She opened the door upon his very tall frame, that wavy brown hair, the biggest, brownest eyes you could ever hope to see.

"Hi," she said, keeping her tone even and stepping aside to allow him into the house.

She led him into the living room without another word. The two of them were rarely without conversation when they were together, but Luci was in such a state that she didn't know where to start. And Josh, true to form, had noticed her disposition.

"Why so serious? Did you ask me here to finally agree to go out with me?" he inquired teasingly, obviously attempting to lighten the mood.

He'd been hounding her about this for years. It was true that Josh was wonderful and loving and… _comfortable_. He knew how to deal with her, and Luci was sure that few guys would want that task. She was a mess, and the fact that Josh tried patiently to clean her up, time and time again, made Luci adore him all the more. But she didn't love him. _Couldn't_ love him.

In response to the question, she said, "No, Kristen and Amy will be here any minute."

"They can share in the good news then!" chimed Josh, and she gave him a frustrated glance, the same one that she'd given him many times before.

"I know, I know," he said, holding up his hands, "it isn't that you don't want to, you're only trying to protect me, blah, blah…"

Well, she couldn't tell him the truth, could she? "I'm not attracted to you," she could say, and his ego would be crushed. She loved him enough, as her very dear friend, to deny him the reality. If it had been anyone else, it _would_ have been about protecting the person. She knew that she couldn't possibly inflict herself upon some poor, unsuspecting soul. Josh understood her, knew how deeply she was flawed, and he could handle her. She feared that no other boy would ever be able to.

"Exactly. Now that you've got it down, can I stop repeating myself?" she replied.

Repetition was an understatement. Now, it was like rehearsing very familiar lines. And she was not up for it right now.

"You have to go out with someone eventually," goaded Josh, on cue.

"Sure, and it'll be someone that I don't care about," was Luci's scripted response.

But then he broke character and said softly, "Jordy."

She sighed. "God, you know I love when you call me that…"

She sucked in another breath, knowing that she'd have to reveal her motives for bringing him here, if she wanted to effectively change the subject. She was physically unable to continue with it.

"I'm leaving. I think. That's why I asked you over."

"_What_?" choked Josh.

"I might have to go to London."

"I don't… _why_? You just started at the Ministry!"

"You know that brother I've never met?"

"Yeah?"

"He… needs me, I guess."

"_Needs_ you?" he repeated. "For how long?"

She shrugged. "It seems like… indefinitely."

Josh narrowed his eyes at her. "Indefinitely. What aren't you telling me? Is it something dangerous?"

"You know you don't have to worry about me," Luci smiled, but it was strained.

"But I do, anyway," he breathed, moving closer to her. Too close…

"What are you doing?" she asked, in slight tones of panic, but it was too late.

He was kissing her, and it was a long way down for him, since they were almost a foot apart in height. She allowed him, due more to astonishment than anything else.

"It's about time!" came Amy's voice. She had never been known to knock.

Josh pulled abruptly away.

"It's not what you think," stammered Luci.

"You weren't just kissing Josh then?"

"I… It's nothing!"

Josh shot her a wounded glare and then said, his voice flat, "She's leaving the country. It was a goodbye kiss."

"Sorry?" asked Amy.

"Bye then," Josh said coldly to Luci, and then he stomped out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Luci stood there, looking after him, stunned. He'd never behaved that way before…

Amy propped her broom against the wall in the living room and placed Octavian's cage on the floor at her feet. She tossed her sandy blonde hair over her shoulder and fixed Luci with that clear blue stare. Her expression was one of confusion as she said, "Okay, you're gonna have to start from the beginning, missy."

"I… I'm not really sure what just happened…"

"Kissing. Kissing happened."

Luci gritted her teeth. "Soon, it'll be called _snogging_."

"Huh?"

It was perfect timing when the doorbell rang.

"Hold on," said Luci to Amy, and then she went for the door. Kristen James was on the porch, her auburn hair pulled into a ponytail, her hazel eyes squinting in the sunlight. The arrival of the person that Luci knew best in this world should have calmed her, but the unwelcome guest at Kristen's side instead caused a low growl to rise in Luci's throat.

Kristen had been Luci's best friend since they had met at a concert five years back, bonding over their love for the band. Kristen was the only Muggle, besides Luci's own mother, of course, who knew that she was a witch. But when Amy had invited them all to a Wizard Rock show a few months ago, Kristen had met Maggie, who was also a witch. _And a bitch_, thought Luci, who had never liked the magenta-haired girl. She was manipulative and had Kristen wrapped around her finger. In the short time that the pair of them had been dating, Maggie had broken up with Kristen three times already, always making her crawl back, only to do it to her again. So it was only fitting that Luci was enraged at her presence.

"Hi Maggie," she said through a counterfeit smile.

The breathtaking girl sneered sweetly and said, "Hope you don't mind me tagging along. Can't stand to be away from her for too long, you know." She stood on her toes and kissed Kristen's cheek.

_Can't stand to have her out of your sight, more like it_, continued Luci's inner dialogue, but she replied cordially, "No, of course not. Come in, both of you." Then she scolded herself for being a perpetual doormat.

The three of them joined Amy in the living room. Octavian hooted reproachfully from his cage, probably at the sight of Maggie. She was too beautiful to be trusted; that was certain. Something about her, some kind of magnetism…

Of course, Luci had often asked herself if she hated Maggie _because_ she was so beautiful. In comparison, Luci was ridiculously plain, with her round face, her upturned nose, her lifeless hair, her stupid, stubby legs…

"What are _you_ doing here?" spat Amy instantly, her eyes on Maggie.

Amy's reactions to Kristen's new girlfriend continued to amaze Luci, because Amy was the person who would do or say anything to keep everyone happy and getting along.

Maggie shrugged. "Luci says I'm welcome."

"Luci," questioned Amy, "you didn't _really_, did you? I thought this was some important, private matter?"

"I'd end up telling Maggie anyway," contributed Kristen.

Amy glared. "That's not the point."

"It's _fine_," sighed Luci. "Sit down. It's been a shitty day and I don't have the energy to fight with anyone, and I'll probably spend my evening placating Josh, so let's just get this over with."

"Placating him? Why? Where is he anyway? Shouldn't he be here?"

"One thing at a time, Kristen," Luci answered.

All eyes were on her, so she began. "There are some… _things_ going on over in Europe, and the family that I have there, they sort of need me. So… some time soon, I may be leaving to go over there and help in whatever way I can. I don't have any idea when I'd be back. It could be… _months_."

"Why do _you_ have to go?" asked Amy, zapping a bothersome fly before pocketing her wand again.

Luci tilted her chin. "I've been asked."

"And you can't turn down the invitation?" Maggie cut in.

"Stay out of this, you skank," Amy shot at her.

"Hey!" yelled Maggie, making a menacing jolt.

Kristen winced. "Can you at least _try_ to be nice, Amy? What's she ever done to you?"

"It's what she's done to _you_ that pisses me off!" responded Amy.

"SHUT UP!" pleaded Luci, shouting over all of them. They returned their attention to her. "Will you guys just…" She hissed. "Just get along for a few minutes? Please? _God_."

She was crying now, the tears sliding slowing down her cheeks. Amy came and threw her arms around her, their equally small frames fitting together, and Luci felt slightly comforted.

A few months ago, Kristen would have been the first to embrace Luci, but not anymore, not since Maggie. Since Maggie, she had changed. She was no longer the strong, independent girl that had frustrated the hell out of Luci for years. Now she was submissive and whiney and… _needy_. But only needy when it came to Maggie. And it was more frustrating than the bossiness had ever been. Luci missed the bossiness. She missed her best friend.

"I'm sorry, Luce," Amy was saying. "You must be a wreck. I'm really sorry."

"Mmm," Luci responded, nodding and sniffling, wishing she could be humiliated by her lack of emotional self-control, but they knew her too well for that.

"Is there anything that we can do?"

"No," sighed Luci. "It's just… I'd have to go over there all alone, and I don't know anyone, and it's a strange place with strange people and I'm just… I'm nervous. And lonely just thinking about it."

"So don't accept," proposed Amy.

"I can't just abandon _family_."

"Blood isn't family," Kristen cut in. "_We're_ family. Don't abandon _us_."

Luci frowned at her. "That wasn't helpful."

"You always said that I was selfish."

Smiling, Luci concurred, "You _are_."

"But _you're_ not."

"I guess."

"Listen," murmured Kristen, leaving Maggie and wrapping her arms around both Luci and Amy. "If you feel like you have to go, you know that we love you, and we'll be here when you get back. If it's a long time, you'd better just stay in touch. No owls, please. You know how my dad starts to think that they're nesting under our roof if he sees one."

* * *

Luci and her mother ate dinner in front of the television, as they did most evenings. However, tonight, the TV wasn't turned on. They were sitting in silence, the only sound the clinking of their forks upon their plates.

Luci poked dismally at her mashed potatoes.

Finally, her mother asked, "So have you made a decision?"

Luci merely shook her head.

"And have you worked things out with Josh yet?"

Another shake.

Melissa Keegan put down her fork. "Luci, talk to me."

"I can't even sort out my thoughts. How can I talk about them?"

"Well, what's holding you back from going?"

Luci glanced up into her mother's loving green eyes. "Fear, of course."

"Fear of what?"

"Unfamiliar places, unfamiliar people, failure… my fucking father."

Her mother took a shallow breath. "Watch your mouth, please."

"Sorry, Mama."

"Sweetheart, you've always been hindered by fear, ever since you were a little girl, but I think that this is a very good opportunity for you to do something difficult and face those scary things. You've never failed at anything, but you're always terrified of failure anyway. It's ridiculous. And as for your father, he's still in prison, isn't he? I don't think he should even cross your mind when making this decision."

He crossed her mind far more than he should have. Because she knew that he was the root of all of her insecurities.

"Well, why _should_ I go? Just to say that I've faced my fears? That doesn't seem like a good enough reason."

"To get to know your brother. To have an adventure!"

Luci's mother had always been far more audacious than Luci herself, never staying in one place for very long. It had annoyed Luci to no end at one point in her life, but now, she admired the quality. Her mother had taught her to live one day at a time, every day as her last, and whether she actually _did_ it or not, Luci knew how.

* * *

After dinner, she went straight to Josh's apartment. She drove her car, because it was far less conspicuous, and because she wasn't particularly fond of broomsticks. When she arrived, she immediately put a repulsing spell on the vehicle, which temporarily turned it into a heap of junk, warding off potential thieves. Josh didn't live in a bad neighborhood, but Luci was incessantly paranoid.

She took the stairs up to the third floor, but she took them slowly, wondering how she was going to face him after that kiss. She'd rejected guys before. Idiots, all of them, if they wanted her anyway. But she'd never had to reject someone who she intended to keep in her life. What would this do to their friendship?

His front door loomed ahead, far too soon. She wasn't ready. But she rapped her knuckles on the wood anyway, and waited. She felt like she could throw up as she tapped her right foot anxiously.

There was the sound of a lock being unfastened and then the door swung open.

The look on his face was impossible to read, even as well as she knew him. "What are you doing here?"

"Fixing things, of course," she said, trying to inject some levity into her voice.

"Get in here," he sighed, and she entered the main living area.

Josh closed the front door again and said, "I don't know if you can fix things, Luci. You're _leaving_."

"Not right _now_! And just temporarily anyway. You act like it's something personal against you."

He averted his gaze.

She noticed a new poster on his wall. He had a keen interest in Japanese anime and kept various tributes to cartoon ninjas all around his apartment, where he lived alone and met no resistance to the fascination. Luci was baffled by it, but she did smile every time she saw the unique art form, just because it reminded her of him.

When it had been silent a few seconds too long, she asked, "Why did you leave like that?"

Frowning, Josh accused, "I kissed you, and you told Amy that it was _nothing_! That hurt."

"You're just… always pushing this," she answered feebly.

"And you're always refusing to deal with this."

"Deal with _what_? We're _friends_, Josh."

"It's just… I know you better than anyone. We've seen each other through so much and I don't understand why we can't have something more. When you're building on a friendship this amazing…"

She sighed. "But that's what it is – _friendship_. _Amazing_ friendship. Why ruin it? You know I ruin things, Josh. You _know_ I do."

"Is this about Mark? Because he didn't deserve you, and I would never hurt you the way that he did."

Luci, slightly worried at his determined expression, and slightly angered at the mention of Mark, began slowly, "Listen to me for a second. You and I, we're wonderful for each other. You encourage me without fail, and I need that. But there just isn't… _that_ kind of chemistry between us."

"You haven't given it a chance. Maybe there could be. You… didn't feel anything when I kissed you?"

It was either rock or hard place. She chose hard place. "I felt… safe? I guess."

"Well, that's something, isn't it?"

She pursed her lips.

"Go," he said. "Go off to Europe and think about it. Really _think_ about it. And when you get back, we'll talk again. Maybe if you could just try to see me differently..."

"But I don't _want_ to see you differently! I like things the way that they are! I'm already stuck in my own head and you're my rock and I can't have you doing this to me…"

"What? Caring about you?"

"Trying to change our relationship," she retorted.

"You're just scared," observed Josh, though gently.

"That's part of it, but… You know me so well, so why the hell would you possibly want to date me?"

"You… keep things interesting," he smiled.

Luci took in a deep, aggravated breath.

"All I want is for you to think about it," he said softly. "Promise me you'll just consider it."

She shoved her thumbnail into her mouth before she could catch herself. She was trying to stop chewing on it. She dropped her hand and sighed grudgingly, "I'll consider it."

"Promise?" he asked, those teddy bear eyes lighting up.

"Promise," she answered, but it was a lie.

* * *

Lying awake in bed that night, Luci tried to listen to her heart. It was screaming, "Thump," repeatedly, and she couldn't translate. Octavian pattered restlessly in his cage. Amy had left him overnight, giving Luci some time for deliberation before she sent a response to Hogwarts.

She tried to focus on the pros and cons of accepting Dumbledore's invitation, but her mind kept running off on little tangents. One moment, she was thinking about Josh and how to tell him that this was never going to work and that she couldn't possibly consider it, and the next, she'd somehow gotten to pondering how they get the filling into truffles without there ever being any seams…

She redirected her thoughts. It _was_ the opportunity for an adventure, meeting new people, trying new thing, seeing if blood really _could_ be family. There was a side of her that really craved that sort of thing. However, she had a practical side too, the side that her mother had never had. The Headmaster expected her to protect someone, but how could she, when she felt entirely futile all the time?

Rolling over, she caught her fingernail on the sheet. She ripped it out again and sighed dolefully. If she didn't go, she'd regret it, and her past was far too littered with regrets already.

So the next morning, she sent her answer, apologizing profusely to poor Octavian as she bound the parchment to his leg.

"_Dear Headmaster,_

_After much thought, I've decided that I can't, in good conscience, refuse your request. Therefore, I accept your invitation, but purely out of duty. Please advise further._

_Sincerely,_

_Luci J. Keegan"_


	2. Chapter Two: The Brave New World

**Chapter Two – The Brave New World**

She had changed her mind. She didn't want to go.

She had somehow hoped that Dumbledore would change _his_ mind, as well, deciding that he didn't need her, after all. But when his second letter arrived, full of instructions, she knew that it was a done deal.

Josh had gone back to normal, to Luci's immense relief, and he and Amy were helping her pack. She'd be leaving in three days, the plane tickets already booked, the plans already confirmed with Dumbledore. She couldn't back out now. And this just happened to be the moment when it hit her.

Tears immediately began to sting her eyes and she sat down miserably, covering her face with her hands.

"What is it?" asked Amy, plopping down beside her.

"Should it really be this complicated?" Luci muttered.

"_Everything_ is complicated with you," contributed Josh.

She glanced up at him, and he was smiling.

"I know," she groaned. "What am I gonna do when I'm over there freaking out and I don't have any of you?"

"Write to us," Amy suggested.

Josh shook his head. "Just count to ten, like always."

Luci nodded. "They'll think I'm crazy, all the crying I do, all the…"

"What?" he nudged. "Voices in your head?"

"Something like that."

"Eh, they're strange over there," commented Amy. "All bottled up and stuff. Not the least bit in touch with their emotions. Do you think you'll need this?" She held up a Remembrall.

"Doubtful," Luci answered, frustrated by Amy, who was only being herself – bottled up and not the least bit in touch with her emotions.

Josh, however, was entirely the opposite. He spent the rest of the afternoon consoling Luci, hugging her frequently, making her feel increasingly guilty for rejecting him. And as he was leaving that evening, he whispered one last reassurance, "Just count to ten," and then added with a knowing grin, "Or punch a wall."

* * *

It had been a long flight. Luci had dozed through most of it, attempting to avoid jet lag and to push her tearful departure from her mind. It had all flooded back, however, when the plane had touched down, the compartment filling with noise and movement.

Luci gathered her belongings and followed the throng of travelers off of the plane and into the Heathrow airport, all the while, remembering the expressions on the faces of her friends and her mother. Her heart ached. The atmosphere felt different, more humid. And her heart ached some more.

After shuffling through customs and retrieving her trunk, she searched for the man that Dumbledore had described. He was allegedly tall, with dark hair and pointed features. But when she laid her eyes on him, she realized that Dumbledore's depiction had failed miserably. This man had thick curtains of greasy black hair falling into his sallow face, and he wore black robes, along with a sickened grimace. Muggles were gaping unashamedly at him, and Luci's only thought was to get both of them out of here, as quickly as possible.

"Professor Severus Snape?" she asked, approaching him. He was certainly tall, and as she was quite small, she had to crane her neck to look into his face.

"Indeed," said the man.

Then she remembered that she was supposed to ask a security question, something each of them could have only been told by Professor Dumbledore himself.

"Do you have the password?"

"Persephone," he answered, and Luci suddenly missed her cat. "And yours?"

"Fawkes."

He gave her a curt nod, the locks of black hair falling forward. "Very well. Follow me."

She fell in step behind him, and she couldn't help feeling that he wanted nothing to do with her or this situation. It was possible that he was the coldest person she'd ever had the misfortune of encountering. And she wished, more than ever, that she hadn't decided to come.

Then, to her dismay, she found that Severus Snape was leading her into the women's bathroom. She began to protest, but he raised a hand to silence her. So she simply kept her head down and continued in after him, whereupon he guided her into a stall, accompanied her, and took her arm.

They had Apparated swiftly, and they now stood before a set of large iron gates. Each side displayed a winged creature that Luci thought looked disturbingly like a pig. She registered that the sun had fallen, but her eyes had moved to the real vision. The majestic castle of Hogwarts loomed up ahead, and she only realized that her breathing had ceased when Severus interrupted her thoughts.

"Ahem."

She inhaled, turning to him.

"Shall we?" he enquired.

He stepped forward, pushing the gate open, and allowing her to step through. He followed, and then took a rapid speed towards the castle. Luci had to practically jog to keep up with him.

"I will take you to the Headmaster's tower," Severus said firmly. "But do pay attention, as you may need to know the route in the future. If we are spoken to, you are merely a student. Ravenclaw, I presume."

Luci nodded, but at this point, she half didn't care about Dumbledore or being able to find the tower. She simply wanted to roam the building freely, exploring. She was in awe at the size of the place, the splendor of it.

As they continued, she found herself tripping over her own feet, because her head was lifted, adoring the turrets. It was dark, but somehow, the entire place glowed with… magic, certainly. The late May warmth enveloped her, the glow bathed her, and it was glorious.

Eventually, they came to the enormous oak doors that would lead them into the castle. They climbed the steps, and Severus tugged on one of the handles. The first door swung open, and they stepped, as a pair, into the foyer. Luci felt adrenaline shoot through her, and perhaps it was the castle itself, or perhaps it was merely the creepy candlelight playing over the marble at her feet. She closed the door as quietly as she could and started up the staircase, after the man who seemed to be in such a hurry.

The moving portraits followed her with their eyes. She smiled at them, hoping to prevent any suspicion. She prayed that they wouldn't come across any inquisitive students or professors. To her relief, while a ghost would sail by every now and again, the corridors seemed empty. Where was everyone?

Finally, Severus stopped, directly in front of a large, stone gargoyle. When Luci had caught up with him, he commanded, "Sugar quill," at the statue.

The gargoyle made a very obvious leap to the left, causing Luci to leap, as well, in response. Then she watched curiously as the wall behind the figure began to split, revealing a spiral staircase.

"I will take your trunk," offered the Professor. "When you have concluded, please come to my office, in the dungeons. We will travel from there."

Luci looked at him questioningly. She suddenly felt very apprehensive, to go wandering around looking for a dungeon.

"Also, I have been instructed to deliver this to you."

He removed a small bronze medallion from his robes and handed it to her. It hung on the end of a long, black rope, and she looped it around her neck.

"What is it?"

"A Professor's Pass," the man answered. "It will allow you access to this School."

"Why do I need access?"

Severus looked down his nose at her. "I am only the distributor."

"But don't you need it?"

"I will make due for the time being."

"Okay…" she said hesitantly.

"That is all," he said briskly, and then he hurried away from her, dragging her trunk in his wake.

_What a very strange man_, Luci thought to herself as she looked around to make sure that no one else had appeared. Then she stepped forward onto the flight of stairs. She was preparing to take another step when the staircase began to rotate upwards. There was no need for her to move at all! She almost laughed aloud at the ingenuity of it.

Shortly, she reached a door with a griffin knocker. She stood there for a few moments, contemplating the insanity of all of this. Just that morning, even if it had been the wee hours of that morning, she had been in her own country. Now she was inside of a castle, preparing to spend the next few months watching over someone that she'd never even met. Her doubts swam to the surface again. She had been miscast in this role. She just wanted to go home.

But instead, she forced herself to tap the bronze knocker assertively.

"Please come in," called a tired voice.

Luci took a deep breath, and then she pushed the door open slowly, poking her head through.

Professor Albus Dumbledore sat behind his desk, carefully cleaning his half-moon spectacles. When he'd replaced them on his nose, he looked up at her and said, "Ah, Miss Keegan. Very nice to see you."

She frowned, feeling suddenly as though he expected her to be far more proper than she actually was.

"Hello, Headmaster."

"Please have a seat." He gestured to the chair on her side of the desk.

As she sat down, and his keen blue eyes studied her, she experienced a wave of nerves.

"Superb timing. The entire castle will be having their meal in the Great Hall."

"And you don't join them?" asked Luci.

"In most cases. This evening, I have more important matters. My, you haven't grown much taller, have you?" He smiled kindly, and Luci tried to relax, remembering how fond she had always been of him.

They had only met once before, after Melissa Keegan had contacted Dumbledore about Luci's strange behavior. Following numerous visits to doctors, one of them had finally suggested that Luci's mother contact a school over in Europe. The Headmaster had known precisely what was ailing Luci, and informed Melissa that her daughter was a witch. When the woman was shocked beyond words, Dumbledore had inquired about Luci's father. It was the Professor's turn to be shocked when he'd heard the name of Lucius Malfoy. Melissa explained that he was simply a man that she'd loved when she was very young and that she had known little about him. Dumbledore, finding the situation unique and worthy of some special attention, had made a trip to their home in Arizona. Luci remembered being all of fourteen years old when she'd met the old man. It hadn't been long before that she'd attempted suicide, and she recalled her mother's relief at this man's presence, his assurances, his explanations. Somewhere inside of her, she had been relieved too. Comforted, even. And she evoked those feelings now.

The Headmaster had continued, "I realize that this situation has greatly disrupted your life, but I am very grateful that you've come. We all appreciate the sacrifices you have made in order to assist us."

Luci was listening, but her attention had been drawn to the Headmaster's blackened right hand. It made her stomach turn slightly, and she wondered what could have done such an awful thing.

"Why are we being so formal?" she asked, pulling her eyes up to his.

"You are angry with me. I thought it best to be impersonal."

She pressed her lips together before responding honestly, "I'm not… angry. I just don't wanna be here."

"I am well aware, and I ask your forgiveness for my insistence. I believe that you are a very important part of all of this."

"All of what? The I'm only here to keep an eye on my brother."

"Perhaps, for now."

"Actually, I resent having to put myself in danger for someone that I don't even know," she added recklessly.

At this insolent comment, Dumbledore's bright blue eyes merely twinkled. This aggravated Luci even more so, and she huffed in reaction.

Then he smiled softly and said, "You are free to go at any time."

She released a faint growl. "You know I'm not going anywhere," she answered in defeat. "I just… wish I weren't in this position. That the members of that side of my family weren't raging idiots. That's all."

The Headmaster chuckled.

It was a good time to bring it up, and she leaned forward expectantly. "Sir, may I ask… what happened to your hand?"

He sighed deeply. "Luci, our world has been plunged into very dark times, full of very dark magic, beyond our wildest imaginations. The enemy is stronger than I had expected."

"Someone did this to you?"

"Inadvertently, yes."

"But… _how_?"

"We have more pressing issues, I'm afraid. Instructions, rules, et cetera."

"Right," Luci agreed reluctantly. She was disappointed, but she sat back again anyway, willing to let it go, for the time being.

"Now," he began seriously, "you will wait with Narcissa Malfoy in her home until Professor Snape delivers Draco. That is, assuming that all goes according to plan. The location where you will be hiding with the pair of them is called number twelve Grimmauld Place. It can be found in London, only by those to whom I've revealed the location, and was previously the home of Sirius Black."

"The murderer?"

"That is a long story. The unfortunate man was framed. Regrettably, he passed before his name could be cleared. But moving along. He left the house to his godson, who currently owns the residence and is a student here at Hogwarts. He will be staying with family for most of the summer, before his last term here at school. I think, however, that the current arrangement is to relocate him to Headquarters in mid-July. He and your brother… Well, let's say that they've never got on well together."

Luci furrowed her brow at him. "Who are we talking about?"

"A young man called Harry Potter."

She sucked in a sharp breath. She wasn't sure why she was surprised. She knew that Professor Dumbledore had always had some kind of relationship with the well-known wizard. But simply to confirm, she ventured, "The Boy Who Lived?"

"The very same."

"I see. And he and Draco…?"

"Alas, mortal enemies. In fact, just weeks ago, they had a very nasty row. Mr. Malfoy would never have survived, had Severus not appeared in the nick of time."

"Harry Potter tried to kill my brother?"

"It's all a bit of a misunderstanding. But there is no time for that now. I am meeting with him shortly – Mr. Potter, that is – and think it best for us to have wrapped things up beforehand."

"Okay," she sighed, irritated by his evasiveness. "What else do I need to know?"

"Grimmauld Place is being occupied by The Order of the Phoenix, an assembly whose sole purpose is to battle Voldemort and his Death Eaters. I am sending you in with the cover that you are an Auror reporting for your own Ministry. The members of the Order have been informed of your true assignment, but none of the children must discover this."

"Children?"

"Molly and Arthur Weasley have seven children, three of whom will be residing with them. Bill, the senior of the siblings, is a member of the Order and will know your identity. Hermione Granger will also be joining the younger siblings, as far as I know, as she is one of Harry's closest friends. And, of course, your brother is counted among them."

Luci raised an eyebrow. "Full house."

"Indeed."

She had more questions than she knew what to do with. How was this possibly going to work? How was she possibly going to keep so many secrets? And why couldn't she get any fucking details from any of these people?

And then she remembered one of those details, one that was quite essential.

"And Draco's mother… how much does she know?"

"Severus had the regrettable task of informing her before I contacted you. She reacted poorly, but she has since agreed to take you in and to keep your confidence, if only to protect her son. There is certainly something to be said for a mother's love."

"So I can be fairly candid with this woman?"

"I would not recommend it. She will not be friendly towards you. Once more, she does not know what I have been planning with Severus. She believes simply that Severus has called upon you to protect Draco, in the event that he does not succeed in murdering me. She does not, and cannot, know that I am involved. She is also unaware of the agreement to hide all of you with the Order, a group of people she certainly despises."

This seemed a very ill thought so-called plan to Luci. "And if Draco does succeed?"

"I realize that you know very little of your brother. Having had him in my school for six years, I have, however, learned a great deal. He has been pruned to follow in your father's footsteps, but this is not really in his nature. I believe that he will do what he has been told, up to the telling moment, and then he will fail to make an attempt."

Luci knew that the Headmaster was rarely incorrect in his intuitions. Nonetheless, she found his hopes to be extremely misplaced. She, too, had always been one to give the benefit of the doubt, but the Malfoys were a nasty bunch.

"So Severus will then lead Draco home to his mother? And I'll take them to the Order? And that's all? What will you be doing?"

Dumbledore met her gaze, and his eyes were somber. She had never seen them that way before. It scared her.

She managed, "What is it?"

He forced a sad little smile before answering, "It is essential for Severus to ensure his believed alliance to Lord Voldemort. Should Draco fail, Severus has been instructed to kill me himself."

Luci nearly tumbled over herself as she shot up from her seat.

"WHAT?"

He didn't speak.

"He can't do that! I won't let him! _You_ can't let him! This is ridiculous! Even Voldemort must know that you're more powerful than Severus, that you would defeat him if he tried such a thing!"

"Sit down, Luci."

His calm enraged her. "I most certainly will _not_! Tell me you're not going through with this!"

By this time, her palms were on the desk, and she was leaning over it, yelling into his face. Her breathing was coming heavy, and when he gave her an easy compassionate expression, she suddenly realized what she was doing.

She backed away.

"I'm sorry. That was… really disrespectful. I just…"

She sighed and slumped into the chair again.

"Luci, you will not be able to talk me out of this. I am an old man. I have lived a splendid life. Now it is time for another generation to live, to do wonderful things. Draco, though he is unaware, as of yet, is capable of enormous brilliance. Lord Voldemort will be furious if I am not killed, and since your brother will be unsuccessful, it must be done by another hand, a hand that I trust very much. Otherwise, Draco will be in far greater danger. Surely, Voldemort will be angry at your brother's failure, but much less angry than if I had been left alive."

Luci blinked. His rationale made absolutely no sense to her. "This is all to protect Draco? One life for another?"

"One life for many others," corrected Dumbledore.

She raised an eyebrow.

He took a shallow breath. "You've read about the Prophecy, yes?"

"Of course."

"Then you know that Harry Potter is not merely The Boy Who Lived. He is also the only match for Lord Voldemort. Assuring that Severus stays within the enemy's camp can also assure Harry's success. Harry's success assures the survival of the Wizarding world."

"I see. All for the greater good." But it still made her want to throw up.

"Precisely."

The tears stung at her eyes now. "But… such a devastating _loss_ to the Wizarding world too…"

Dumbledore practically beamed at this. "Why, thank you, Luci."

"It's not just lip service."

"I know."

They stared at each other for a moment.

Then he continued, "For Narcissa and Draco, you must keep up appearances at all times. You must let them think that you are a Death Eater trying to infiltrate the Order. This is the only way that they will trust you."

"But… that's insane!"

"Nevertheless," he said firmly. "Though I want to ask you, if you can be of any assistance to Harry, please do so. If this is possible without 'blowing your cover,' so to speak, that would be preferred. But please remember that his victory is of the utmost importance. I know that your only task is to protect your brother, but if anything comes up… you understand?"

She didn't entirely, but she nodded. She supposed that she would have to play both sides, and she could only hope that she was up to the task.

"Also, if you could deliver a few things for me… anonymously?"

Luci tilted her head questioningly. "Of course…"

"This is a key to my office," he informed, handing her a small black box. "I have enclosed a brief letter beneath the lining. The second item…" He removed a gold watch from his robes. "This has been mine for many a century. It is a very unique item, and I would like Harry to have it, after I'm gone. Perhaps it can mysteriously appear at the foot of his bed on Christmas day?"

"Yes, it can," she agreed. "You… care a lot about him?"

"He is a special young man. You will see."

"I have no affection for my brother, but this kid _did_ try to kill him. I'm not sure I'll like him very much."

"It was a mistake," explained the Headmaster. "He used a spell of which he did not know the consequences. And it is true that he is easily angered, but he does have a wonderful nature."

Luci sighed. "A temper is something that I can understand. So, yes, I'll do all of this. But when can I go home?"

"When there is no longer any danger from Lord Voldemort," was his straightforward reply.

"But that could be… never…" she choked.

Dumbledore shook his head. "I have faith in Harry. If, however, he does fail, that is when you may return home."

Her stomach sank heavily. She would be here for a long while.


	3. Chapter Three: A Most Sordid Arrangement

**Chapter Three – A Most Sordid Arrangement (corresponds with POTP Chapter 1)**

Severus Snape's dungeon was easily found, after specific directions from Professor Dumbledore. As Luci took the narrow stone staircase onto a cold sublevel, the castle quickly went from majestic to ominous. She shuddered.

It didn't help that her stomach was churning with nerves. She was very aware of her next destination.

A knock and a frosty grant of entrance, and Luci was standing before Severus again, gazing around at his office. It wasn't well lit, so she was squinting into the shadows, trying to see what lined the walls. It appeared to be numerous glass jars holding what she assumed were potions ingredients. The clock behind the desk read at almost eight. She thought it unsettling that Severus was able to work in this environment, whereas, Luci had become immediately dispirited by the atmosphere.

The man had yet to speak, but when he finally looked up from his work, he inquired, "Have a nice chat, did we?"

"I wouldn't say 'nice,'" answered Luci. "All of this is far from nice, don't you think?"

"You will learn," he said dryly, "that _life_ is far from nice."

"Oh, god," she muttered quietly, but he heard her and sneered in response.

Then he stood slowly and said, "I'm afraid that your situation will shortly grow worse."

And she gulped, because she knew that he was right.

* * *

It wasn't more than a few minutes later when Luci found herself standing next to Severus, in front of the door of a splendid mansion. She felt renewed hatred for the Malfoys, knowing that, all these years, they had been blessed with money, while she and her mother had struggled for every dime. She would probably never stop resenting it, or blaming her father.

One knock on the large wooden door brought a thin blonde woman before them. Her face was lined with weariness, but there was definitely a beauty. She glanced down her nose at Luci, made a repulsed noise, and moved to usher the pair of them into the manor.

Once inside, the three of them simply stared at one another, assessing. Finally, the blonde woman snarled, "A most sordid arrangement."

"Perhaps," commented Severus, "but a compulsory one."

The woman sighed. "And your name?"

Luci blinked, surprised by her lack of information. "Luci."

"Narcissa," she contributed in return, giving Luci a distasteful frown and adding, "The nerve she had to dishonor the name."

"Please," huffed Luci. "It was merely a tribute, and an undeserved one, at that."

The woman scoffed.

And Luci returned the sound. "Look, I'm here because you people can't make good decisions. I don't like it any more than you do."

Narcissa threw her head back, stunned. "How dare you sp–"

"Ladies," interrupted Snape, "can I leave you alone with one another or do you need a chaperone?"

They both glanced at him and answered in unison, "No."

"We'll be fine," added Luci.

"Very well. I will be in touch." Then he leered, turned his back, and threw over his shoulder, "Play nice."

Luci grimaced, and Narcissa made a retch of loathing.

Then the door was closed, and the woman was in Luci's face.

"Listen to me, you stupid little bastard child!"

Luci took an instinctive step backwards in shock. She couldn't speak, but it didn't matter, as Narcissa had continued on fervently.

"I don't know what to believe, but I'll tell you one thing – I don't trust you. This is all because I love my son, and Severus says that you can protect him. But don't go getting any ideas of weaseling your way into this family. We don't want you, blood or not. So you will stick to the agreement – keep an eye on Draco and continue his studies, but do not even _think_ about telling him any of this!" Then she gagged slightly and concluded, "You Half-blood filth."

Having never been treated so badly in her life, Luci had only been able to stand there, her jaw agape. But at this last comment, her senses awoke once more, and her temper flared.

"Fuck you," she spat. "Speak to me like that again, and my wand goes up your ass, understand?"

The tall woman's eyes widened.

"I don't want to be here any more than you want me here, but family is family, whatever _you_ believe about it. You will _not_ order me around, and you _must_ show me some respect, if you want any of this to work. We are on the same side, and we both want Draco to be safe. So just show me to my room, and I'll stay out of your way until your son arrives."

Brows still raised, Narcissa simply answered, "Third floor, first room on the right."

The first room on the right appeared to be a servant's quarter. Angry beyond her control, Luci stomped in and slammed the door behind her. After sitting on the meager bed and crying with fury for what might have been half an hour, she took a look around.

It was a minuscule area, furnished only with the pitiable twin bed. The bare floor and walls were hard, cold, gray stone. There were no windows. Yes, a few weeks here with this woman, in this prison, would be unbearable.

It drove Luci crazy when people didn't like her. She didn't know why it mattered to her, but it did. Though, considering, she couldn't blame Narcissa Malfoy at all. She might, too, hate an illegitimate child, if her husband turned up with one. It must have been quite an upset. And however much Luci hated being hated, especially being called such rotten names, she couldn't say that she would have behaved any differently.

Obviously, she had no better handle on her temper than Narcissa. She had spewed swear words at the woman, after all. But it hadn't surprised Luci in the least. She had always been easily angered, saddened, discouraged… Her emotions had been a detriment to her for as long as she could remember. She hoped that, someday, she'd be able to stay calm when her soul was raging. But, for now, she would simply pretend. She had become very good at pretending.

* * *

The time at Malfoy Manor passed in a painfully slow fashion. Luci did her best to stay out of Narcissa's way, and the Malfoy matron did the same, having Luci's meals delivered to her room. They only saw one another in random passings through the corridors. It was a very large house, and though Luci stayed mostly to her room, she often found that she was able to take solace in the library down the hall.

She took to reading every book she could find on protective spells. She had learned an enormous amount in her Auror training, but the education was fairly generalized. She needed specifics now. She needed to focus on this task and get it over with, so that she could go home.

Luci tried not to brood, but she was still having a terrible time with her anger. She loathed the situation, and she was growing more forlorn every day. She'd written letters to Josh, Amy, Kristen, and her mother already, but had yet to receive responses. Her only option had been Owl Post, and it took ages. She was entirely alone.

She had tried to talk with the house elf who delivered her meals, but he was very reserved and grumpy. He had certainly been seasoned by a life of slavery to this horrible family, and she felt sorry for him. He seemed to appreciate her kindness, but had no interest in being a companion of any kind.

_Entirely_ alone.

Then, after more than two weeks had passed, the day arrived. She didn't know what had taken so long.

It was the first visitor since Luci had come here. Not even Severus had made an appearance. The sound of the doorbell nearly knocked her off the edge of her bed, where she had been writing.

She hurried down the stairs, just in time to scurry up behind Narcissa as the woman opened the front door.

"Draco!" his mother blurted, opening her arms wide, receiving Severus and the boy.

Luci peered around her to see more clearly, and her throat closed up instantly. Her brother was awe-inspiring, with a tangible air of royalty about him. He was tall and thin. She had an urge to touch him, to make sure that the identical white-blonde hair and the identical pale skin were real, real like hers were. But she also hated him. Hated him because he was the one that their father loved.

"Is anyone else here?" Severus was asking.

Narcissa was shaking her head, but her attention seemed to be focused on Draco. As was Luci's. But the woman was downright obsessing over him, smoothing down his hair and touching his flushed cheeks.

She finally asked him, "How are you?"

"Fine. Don't _nettle_, Mother."

He was scowling at her. Luci wanted to see him smile. Was it anything like her smile? She had no idea they'd look so much alike. Wouldn't it be evident that they were related? Wouldn't it be nearly impossible to keep this secret? But then, she knew how very oblivious human beings could be.

"Thank you, Severus," Narcissa had breathed, ignoring her son's protests.

Severus had merely given a small tilt of his chin in response.

"So it's done?" she went on, turning Draco's head from side to side. He tried to slap her hands away.

Severus grimaced at this display and assured, "Albus Dumbledore is dead."

Luci had been expecting the news, but her heart still dropped ten stories. She wanted to cry, to scream, to strangle Severus, just for doing what had been asked of him. But instead, she stood perfectly still, unaffected, putting on her show.

"I am very proud of you, Draco," Narcissa was praising.

Luci wanted to strangle her too.

Then Draco turned his head away. Professor Dumbledore's instincts had been accurate, after all. The boy hadn't been able to go through with it.

"Severus?" asked his mother, fearfully.

"I was forced to do it myself," the Professor answered.

He appeared impassive, as he always seemed to, but Luci knew that he was simply putting on a similar show. He had been very close to Dumbledore, and it must have been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. She pitied him.

Narcissa immediately responded, "But… but the Dark Lord will not accept this!"

"No, I suspect that he won't," concurred Severus.

The woman's face distorted in panic. "But he'll kill us both! What are we to do, Severus?"

"I assume, by now, that the Secret Keeper has revealed to you the location of the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix?"

It took Luci a moment to realize that he was directing the question to her, especially because he already knew the answer. She met his gaze and nodded.

"Narcissa, you are to take Draco to the Headquarters. The Dark Lord will not find you there."

Narcissa's mouth went agape. "There must be some mistake! They would never allow us in!"

"Arrangements have been made. They are expecting you."

"I will not congregate with blood traitors who work against the Dark Lord!" she screeched in protest.

"Very well," replied Severus, "but he will soon find you and I do not expect he'll be very forgiving."

Narcissa looked terrified again. To Luci's surprise, the woman's eyes turned to hers.

Luci took a small breath and warned, "I can only protect him to a certain extent if we stay here."

"Protect _who_? Me? Mother, who is she, anyway?"

The sudden emergence of her brother's voice startled Luci briefly. It was so lovely. These accents… she really could listen to them forever.

"She is here to see that you survive," Severus was explaining.

Draco gave Luci a cynical glance. "No one can protect me now."

Despite his cool expression, he had sounded frightened. So Luci returned what she hoped was a reassuring look and answered, "_I_ can. And the Order can."

He narrowed his eyes at her. She couldn't tell if it was distaste or distrust.

Severus then cut in, "I must go. The Dark Lord will be expecting me."

He turned again to Luci. "I can only presume that I will be wanted for murder. Therefore, contacting me may prove difficult at first. I will contact you. See to it that I can reach you by Floo."

She only nodded once more.

Narcissa reached out for his robes, a gesture of desperation. "Severus, you will defend Draco to the Dark Lord? You will tell him that _all_ of the Malfoys are loyal to him?"

_Not all of us_, thought Luci to herself.

Severus continued towards the door, replying, "Yes, but I don't know what good it will do."

The woman made a cowardly sound.

"You will be safe with the Order. Go there immediately."

She nodded.

Severus turned back abruptly and added, "And you must make your repentance obvious to them and conduct yourselves as though you are no longer serving the Dark Lord. You will _not_ spy on them, cause any trouble, or draw any unneeded attention to yourselves. Is this understood?"

Draco and Narcissa shared a look that Luci couldn't quite decipher.

But Severus had comprehended. "You will do these things, or they will be rid of you, and you will be easy prey. It is your choice. You will see to it that they remain… _inconspicuous_?"

This last bit had been intended for Luci, and she answered, "I will do my best."

Somehow, though, she thought that keeping Narcissa out of trouble would be very difficult indeed, and if her son was anything like his parents…

"What about my father?" came that voice again.

Narcissa bobbed her head eagerly.

Severus glanced at each of them, and then Luci thought he might have also looked in her direction. "He is safe in Azkaban… for now."

He paused for a moment. "And see to it that you sever all contact with Bellatrix. She is devoted to the Dark Lord and will betray you."

Narcissa almost hopped upwards in indignation. "She's my _sister_!"

"She is first, and foremost, a Death Eater," scolded Severus.

"We are _all_ Death Eaters!"

_Not all of us_, Luci thought again.

"Yes, but the Dark Lord is not so displeased with _others_ of us," Severus said.

The woman appeared upset at this comment, but Draco declared, "We will regain his favor, Mother."

Luci's stomach sank. The Headmaster had known her brother very well. And she found that she did not want to know him at all.

"Yes," Narcissa had murmured.

Severus had added, "In time. For now, you will take shelter with the Order."

Then he made his way out of the manor, leaving the three of them alone.

Suddenly, Luci had no idea what to do with herself. But the decision was made for her, when Narcissa gave her a sickened exhale and led her son into an adjoining area.

Luci, deserted in the foyer, merely sighed and turned to follow them.

Their backs were to her, but she proclaimed, "We need to leave here in the morning. Will the two of you be ready?"

Neither of them turned to look at her, but Narcissa corrected, "Severus said immediately."

"Yes," replied Luci, "but I thought you might need some time to prepare, and they aren't expecting us until tomorrow. So will the two of you be ready?"

Still not facing her, the blonde woman answered quietly, "If we must."

Luci nodded to herself. "Eight, then. See you at eight."

Then she returned to her room, where she was unable to keep herself from fixating on the fact that she had just met her brother for the first time and, much to her dismay, he really _was_ a Death Eater.

And she hated him for getting himself into this, and therefore, dragging _her_ into it. But the hatred was mingled with curiosity. They _did_ look so much alike, and perhaps it was because of this that Luci felt some kind of connection between them. But she promised herself that she wouldn't get attached to this boy. She knew, from experience, that her emotions dampened her courage and muddled her thoughts. When she and Mark had been attacked, it had resulted in a knee-jerk reaction on her part, and then disaster, when the only boy she'd ever loved had turned his back on her. Because of what she was.

Of course, this had nothing to do with Draco, except to remind her that she must stay detached, and that sometimes, keeping your identity a secret is the best plan.


	4. Chapter Four: Rethinking 1st Impressions

**Chapter Four – Rethinking First Impressions**

She didn't sleep. Paranoia kept her awake throughout the night. She was certain that the Dark Lord had been fully informed of the evening's events and would be there at any moment to take all of them out.

After dozing off momentarily at around two in the morning, she was startled by something and had a brief panic attack. The rest of the dark hours were spent in an attempt to focus her mind on reading, to no avail.

When morning arrived, having brought no enemies, Luci inadvertently had her very first meal in the dining room.

She had come down early, hoping that Narcissa and Draco would be prepared to leave. Instead, they were eating leisurely along the large table. They glanced up at her, but said nothing, so she sat down and cautiously helped herself to the food.

"It's almost eight," she said matter-of-factly, as she buttered a piece of toast.

"And?" answered Narcissa. She took a sip from a large mug.

"And that's when we're leaving."

"We've decided not to go."

Luci's eyes darted up to hers.

"Have you?" she asked. "You've decided to face the Dark Lord's wrath then?"

Narcissa looked away. It was a ploy.

"Well, I could use the Imperius curse on you," Luci suggested casually. It was something that she would have never done, but under the circumstances, force might be necessary.

This is when Draco spoke up with a frown. "But Mother says you're an Auror?"

"I'm also a Death Eater," argued Luci, trying not to trip over the sound of his voice. "We don't care much for rules, do we?"

The boy looked at her in interest, but said nothing. She felt sick, pretending to be something that she wasn't, but went on coolly, "So I assume you're both packed and ready?"

"Yes," said Narcissa.

"Ah, so you intended to come with me all along and were just being defiant?"

The woman didn't answer.

These were the most frustrating people that Luci had ever encountered. She wanted to slap them both. Instead, she swallowed her anger and kept her voice even. "There's no time for games here. The three of us have to stick together. We're not welcome where we're going."

"I still don't understand why we have to go there at all," complained Draco.

"After weighing all of the options, it's our best one," Luci explained.

Draco looked to his mother, who nodded grudgingly.

However, it took Luci enduring quite a bit more arguing and whining before she was able to gather the pair of them in the foyer with their belongings.

"Now," she began, "none of us like these circumstances, but we have to make the best of them for now. So just be grateful that the Order is putting up with us, okay? Try not to be… yourselves."

Narcissa huffed.

"I mean it," concluded Luci.

Then she reached out a hand to each of them, and the trio Apparated to Grimmauld Place.

It was a simple, Muggle street. Narcissa muttered something about all of this being beneath her. Luci ignored her and began to count down the house numbers, until they had arrived between number eleven and number thirteen. Much to her amazement, and a gasp from Draco, these two houses began to slide in either direction, giving way to another doorstep: number twelve.

Luci climbed the steps, with Narcissa and Draco reluctantly flanking her, and knocked. Her stomach was in knots, and she found herself secretly hoping that no one was home…

A tall, thin man with red hair answered the door.

"Ah, you must be Luci."

"Yes," she nodded, and her nerves clenched themselves more tightly still.

"Arthur Weasley," he replied, and though he let all three of them in, he disregarded the boy and his mother.

"Come in and meet everyone, and then we'll find rooms for you. Just leave your trunks in the hall there."

They were led into a basement kitchen, which was filled with people. All eyes went instantly to the unwanted guests, and the air became heavy with unease. Arthur Weasley was calling out names, and people were stiffly welcoming them, but Luci had been admiring their accents and hadn't absorbed much of it. At least, not until she heard the name of Minerva McGonagall. This was the woman that Dumbledore had said Luci could trust most.

Luci nodded in greeting to everyone, while Narcissa and Draco had lingered in the doorway, their faces nearly green with the awkwardness of it all.

To her relief, at that moment, Arthur asked, "Now then, sleeping quarters, and after that, perhaps a little chat?"

"Yes," Luci agreed simply, wanting nothing more than to get out of this condemning spotlight.

Of course, she had been expecting quite an uproar at their appearance. It seemed, however, that discomfort was all that they would receive. She found herself almost calmed.

Arthur Weasley, after levitating all of their baggage, led the three of them out of the kitchen and up two flights of stairs, offering them three adjoining rooms. He indicated that the first was reserved for Luci. So Draco chose the middle of these, and he merely walked forlornly into the room, dragging his trunk, and closed the door. Narcissa, conversely, turned to the tall man.

"Nothing more appropriate to our status, I assume?"

Arthur looked momentarily stunned before replying, "I'm afraid this is all that's available."

"Very well," the woman sighed. "I shall live in squalor. For Draco's sake."

Then she gave them both a nasty grimace and shut herself into the farthest room.

"A bit dramatic, isn't she?" Arthur asked Luci, who rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can stand her."

"That's not encouraging," the man said as Luci deposited her possessions and closed the door to her own room. "We're counting on you."

They were heading back towards the kitchen now, and she replied uncomfortably, "I'm hearing that a lot lately."

Neither of them said anything more. Luci was simply hoping against hope that Draco and Narcissa would behave.

Back in the kitchen, the first comment was from a stout man with a strange, glass eye.

"Well, the resemblance is uncanny," he said gruffly.

"It's only physical," answered Luci, not wanting to be judged immediately upon a family to which she didn't even belong.

"I should hope so," a red-haired woman hissed.

Minerva countered, "Now, Molly, you know her history, and the Headmas–"

"Yes," spat Molly, "but genetics are genetics, and the Malfoy family–"

"I'm sorry," Luci interrupted angrily. "Have I left the room?"

"No, no, please forgive Molly. She is very protective, and her children will be here soon. You understand?" This had come from a weary-looking man in the corner.

Luci shook her head, enraged at this kind of welcome while still completely sympathetic to it, and replied, "Of course, I understand. But genetics have nothing to do with anything. It's circumstances and upbringing, and there is absolutely _no_ resemblance there."

"Very well, enough of this," said a tall black man. "On to matters of business."

A lovely blue-haired girl near Luci's age spoke first. "Luci, it's just Remus and me who'll be here with you. Otherwise, we have meetings nearly every day. We thought it best to have all of us here to greet you."

"Yes," said Remus, the weary man to whom she'd gestured. "The Weasleys will all move into the house a few days before Harry gets here. That is when I think you might have trouble with your brother."

She sighed. "Yeah, Dumbledore said something along those lines."

At the mention of the Headmaster's name, the room went silent with grief.

But the man with the glass eye grumbled, "Damn that Severus Snape!"

Luci's jaw nearly dropped open. Had she been the only one informed of Dumbledore's plan? And if so, _why_? She wanted to ask questions, but she kept her mouth shut.

The black man said, "Alastor, what's done is done. Now Luci, I've gathered some materials from the Ministry, and they should help you with preparing Draco for his N.E.W.T.s."

"If," added Minerva, "for any reason, he is unable to return for his seventh term at school, I will allow him to participate in the exams. Should he pass, he will graduate from Hogwarts, just as if he'd been there all year."

"That's very generous of you, Professor."

"Headmistress," Alastor corrected Luci.

And another heavy silence drifted through the inhabitants of the kitchen.

Luci was as devastated about Dumbledore's death as they were, but she was somehow comforted by the fact that he had chosen his path. She wanted to share this with them, tell them that he hadn't died in violence at all, but she didn't. If he had wanted them to know, he'd have told them. She knew that the only reason he had told her was because it was necessary for her to work with and trust Severus.

Finally, a melodic voice chimed, "Zis iz all vewy deprezzing. Bill, I vill see you at home, yes?"

The breathtaking blonde girl had been sitting beside yet another redhead. She got to her feet, and, at Bill's nod of approval, Disapparated from the spot.

"Fleur has a short attention span, I'm afraid," Bill apologized, and Luci nodded. She had been far too offended already to be insulted by the girl's exit.

"Now then," began the black man again, "aside from the people in this room, your relation will be kept in the strictest of confidence. The Order is always ready and willing to help, and we're pleased that we can provide protection, but we don't trust the boy or his mother, so we're counting on you to protect _us_ from _them_, as well."

'_Counting on you' again_, Luci thought resentfully. With a deep breath, she responded, "That's… quite a request. I don't know that I'm up to it."

"Nonsense!" said Arthur. "If Kingsley thinks you're up to it, and Albus thought you were up to it, then I have no doubts."

She flashed him an appreciative smile. "Thank you. I'll give it all I've got, anyway."

"That's all anyone can do," said Remus.

But Luci felt like it wouldn't be enough.

* * *

Luci's room at Grimmauld Place wasn't exactly "squalor," as Narcissa had described it, but the place was certainly in poor condition. The walls and ceilings were cracked, the carpet dingy. The entire house was very dark, gloomy… It smelled musty. All of it depressed her heavily. But she did see that she had a fireplace and wondered who had arranged this. Dumbledore himself, perhaps? She had seen a fireplace in his office, after all. Of course, she also had the medallion that Severus had given to her, if she needed to visit Hogwarts.

The bed and desk were simple, but better accommodations than she'd had at Malfoy Manor, so she couldn't complain. Her first thought was to sit down and write a letter to Kristen. Then she had a sudden panic that, if any of her friends responded to her previous letters, the owl might not know where to find her. This place was, after all, enchanted. Her heart sunk as she realized that she might not be able to have any communication with the outside world. She could attempt to leave the house, but if anyone saw her…

Tears stung at her eyes and she swore aloud. Was there a time when she'd had better control over her emotions? She supposed not, and berated herself for it.

She had taken on too much. Every fiber of her being had told her to refuse Dumbledore's invitation, and she was still unsure of what, exactly, had prompted her to accept. She'd known that she was incapable of all of it. Everyone seemed to think that being an Auror made you bullet proof. Well, of course, Luci _was_ bullet proof… But that wasn't the point.

The point was that she didn't know why she'd become an Auror in the first place. In aptitude tests, it had been suggested to her. The academics of it were never a problem, but sometimes the execution of it eluded her. She had tendencies to be histrionic and impulsive and downright enraged. These qualities made for bad practice, despite the theories of numerous tests. Yes, it was highly likely that she'd chosen the wrong career…

But what else could she do? Scholarships had gotten her through her Ministry classes, and she and her mother were unable to pay for a Muggle university, where she might learn some enjoyable profession. Perhaps she'd settled. Just a little bit. And look where it had gotten her.

She realized that she was chewing on her thumbnail and promptly withdrew it from between her lips. Well, she couldn't just sit in this room alone for innumerable months, gnawing on keratin. So she sifted through the materials that Kingsley Shacklebolt had given her. Transfiguration, Charms, Potions… Would she be able to prepare Draco for his N.E.W.T.s? If she failed, he would fail. Of course, at least he'd be alive.

It probably wasn't prudent to leave him alone for very long. Even if his heart were a stone, he would have had to experience some kind of trauma from the recent events. Wouldn't he? If nothing else, Luci was growing bored already and imagined Draco might feel the same way.

If she went to his room, what would happen? Would he turn her away? Let her in? And if he did the latter, what would she say to him? She was over thinking it, and the longer she did this, the more awkward it would all become. So she forced herself to her feet, out of her room, into the hallway… and she knocked.

He opened the door, barely an inch, and demanded, "What is it?"

"Do you… want me to help you study at all?" stammered Luci, feeling her cheeks go red.

"It's holiday," he replied simply.

"Yes, but, seeing as how you might not be going back for your last term, and there isn't much else to do here, and it's only sensible to prepare yourself for your N.E.W.T.s, and I _am_ available…"

Draco opened the door fully and stared down at her. They did not have height in common.

"Who are you, really?"

She blinked and gave the best answer that she could gather, "Let me help you study and you can ask anything you'd like."

Her brother frowned, and something about his entire demeanor had changed. Before, he'd seemed vulnerable, scared. Suddenly, now, it was as though none of it had happened, especially when he bit haughtily, "Who says I need help studying?"

"No one," she responded, slightly taken aback, "but it's far more fun with two people."

"Maybe when the other person isn't a complete stranger."

Luci smiled softly. "I don't _have_ to be a stranger, you know."

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Are you flirting with me?"

She nearly tumbled backwards from the shock, but instead managed to convey a simple look of horror.

"People flirt with me," he snapped. "Don't act like it's a ridiculous idea."

"I…" she faltered. Then she shook her head and retorted as calmly as she could, "You're a bit young for me, thanks. This is just my job. I'm sure plenty of girls would be thrilled though."

"They _would_."

Finally, he'd moved out of the doorway, allowing her into the room.

She strolled over to his desk and dropped the Charms textbook. She was so uncomfortable at this point that she regretted the entire idea. Perhaps he should know that she was his sister after all…

"So what is it you want to teach me?" he cut into her thoughts.

"Today? Charms."

He scoffed. "A waste of time."

"Is it? How so?"

"Death Eaters don't need Charms," he said menacingly.

"Death Eaters don't get paid either," she replied. "And in order to find some kind of career, one must complete the required education. And that includes Charms."

"Fine," he huffed, and he sat down at the desk.

At that moment, she noticed the mark on his left arm. She'd seen it in a book… It was the Dark Mark! She'd almost gasped, but then she'd realized that it was slightly smudged near the bottom…

"Is that…" she began. "Did you _draw_ that on your arm?"

Draco blushed and pulled his sleeve down. "It's just until I get my real one. You want one, don't you?"

Luci narrowed her eyes at him. "Why do _you_ want one?"

"To get respect."

"There are other ways to get respect," she countered.

"Not when you're a Malfoy," he grumbled, and she was sure that he sounded resentful. It was possible that she'd misjudged him upon first impressions.

"Your blood isn't who you are," said Luci gently, knowing it better than anyone. "Besides, what you're talking about isn't _respect_. People being afraid of you and people respecting you are two very different things."

Her brother was looking up at her from his seat, studying her face, and she almost looked away in discomfort, but he questioned, "Are you _really_ a Death Eater?"

She tilted her head. "Are _you_?"

"I was on my way," he began. "Until… the other night."

"You're lucky you didn't kill him," said Luci.

"Am I?" asked Draco dryly. "Lucky to have disappointed the Dark Lord? Lucky to have to hide in this blood traitor house because I'm fucking scared of him?"

She looked into his eyes. He regretted all of it; she could see it. So she answered, "Yes. Because killing someone changes you. More than being scared, more than having someone disappointed in you."

"You've killed someone then?" he queried, interested.

Luci pursed her lips. "Almost. I _almost_ killed someone. And _that_ changed me. So I can imagine, at least, what might have happened if I'd succeeded."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "You don't look capable of killing anyone."

She smiled. "Looks can be deceiving."

"So tell me," he prompted. "How did _you_ almost kill someone?"

Luci swallowed. Only Josh and Kristen knew what had happened four years ago. And the police, if you counted the police. And Mark, of course. Because Mark had witnessed it. Because it was the reason that he'd never spoken to her again.

"If I tell you," she said finally, "will you respect me? Or be afraid of me?"

He sighed. "I get your point, all right? But if people are afraid of you, that's _power_. And power is a part of being a Malfoy. My father wants me to join him as a Death Eater, and that's what I'll do."

"Your _father_ wants you to? And what do _you_ want?"

"Power never hurts," shrugged Draco.

She shook her head. "That isn't true. Few things hurt _more_ than power. Because the people in power are there because they are greedy and selfish, and that can never be good for anyone."

"Are you calling me greedy and selfish?" he asked forebodingly, but his tone was almost teasing.

"No," she said slowly, narrowing her eyes at him. "But it sounds like you'd like to be. Or you'd like me to think you are. You'd like me to think a lot of things that aren't true, I'm guessing."

Draco stood up, and his presence suddenly became far more dominant. Luci took a step back, and he hissed, "You aren't here to give me therapy, woman. My future has been planned for me for most of my life. It won't change, and if you're expecting me to pour my heart out to you, you'll be sorely disappointed. So if you want to help me study, I'll allow it, but otherwise, you can go."

She was biting down on the insides of her cheeks. He wasn't daunting at all, but he was… something else. Trapped? Yes, he looked trapped. Trapped like an animal, and if you provoked him, he would bite…

So she decided that he needed time to acclimate to his new surroundings, and perhaps he'd be tame before long.

"I'll go then," she answered him. "For now. But you really should study."

"Fine," said Draco.

She walked out of the room, and just before she closed his door, he called, "Hey, you never told me your story!"

And Luci echoed, "You never told me yours."


	5. Chapter Five: Mudbloods

**Chapter Five – Mudbloods**

It had been a bizarre conversation.

Luci was up half the night thinking about it, and the next morning, it was still on her mind. He had surprised her, and it had given him the upper hand. She was furious with herself for letting him throw her off balance.

And the flirting thing! She shuddered in disgust.

Things would have to be turned around. A cold and professional relationship was the best path, and that is what Luci intended, from now on.

Downstairs in the kitchen, she found Remus and Tonks, both of whom were eating dry toast, and latter of whom now had bright pink hair atop her head.

"Morning," said Tonks cheerfully. "How was your first night?"

"Your hair…" Luci muttered in response.

"Metamorphmagus," she answered, pointing to herself. "I like to change it up. Keeps a _little_ brightness in this awful place."

Luci nodded, "It certainly does," and then turned her eyes to the plain bread.

Remus commented, "Sorry about that. The house elf seems to have disappeared. We have to fend for ourselves."

"I could cook…" she offered, but Tonks shook her pink head.

"_How_ was your first night?" she repeated.

Luci smiled. "Not terrible."

"Was it the bed?"

"Oh, no, the bed was fine. I mean, it was a bed. It's just, unfamiliar surroundings and whatnot."

"Well, it'll be home before long," said Remus blithely. "Only took us, what, a few months? And you'll have far longer than that."

"Ah, lovely," she replied, grinning and seating herself.

Tonks glanced at her hesitantly, and Luci prompted, "What?"

"Well…" Tonks began. "Strange situation, yeah?"

"Dora," said Remus disapprovingly.

"Never mind," Tonks hastened. "I just meant, if you… need to talk… or anything."

"Oh," Luci stammered, surprised and pleased. "Yes, thank you. I… thought, actually, that I was kind of all-around… disliked."

Remus sighed deeply. "Molly is worried. But none of us _dislike_ you. Most of us understand the difficulties of overcoming a bloodline, and besides all of that, each and every one of us would have trusted Albus Dumbledore with our life."

Luci was studying his face. She liked this man very much, and this woman even more. They were both warm and accepting, and she hadn't met many people like that in her life.

Presently, Draco and his mother strolled into the room, and Luci found herself disappointed at the interruption.

Remus stood immediately and excused himself before Tonks could prevent him.

"Breakfast?" she asked.

Narcissa scoffed, and Draco dropped moodily onto the bench.

"I'll cook," offered Luci again, and this time, Tonks merely shrugged.

* * *

After eating what Luci had thrown together, she and Draco were back in his room. The Charms book was open on the desk, and Luci was skimming through it.

"Where did you leave off in your sixth year?"

Draco grunted from his seat beside her.

"You don't remember?" she asked.

"I was a little preoccupied," he snapped.

She glanced sideways at him, and he was staring into his lap.

"Well, did you get to Conjuring Charms?"

"Huh?"

"Yikes," Luci sighed, overwhelmed by the task ahead of her. "We have a lot to catch up on before everyone gets here then."

"Who's everyone?"

"I think Remus said… the Weasleys?" she answered absently, as she searched through the book's index.

"The _Weasleys_ are coming?" spat Draco in distaste.

Surprised at his tone, Luci looked up. "You're not fond of them?"

"Hell no," he growled. "They're… poor."

"Is 'poor' a reason not to like someone?" she frowned.

"It is where I come from."

"Charming," grumbled Luci, feeling put off by his arrogance, once again.

He shrugged. "It also means Potter's coming."

"Harry?"

"That's the one."

She turned back to the book. "And what are your reasons for not liking him? Surely, he's not poor too?"

"I wish," scoffed Draco. "He's just an all around prick. Full of himself. This huge sense of entitlement. God, it's nauseating."

"I see," she said flippantly, as she turned to the section about Conjuring Charms.

"I mean, everyone thinks he's sooo great," Draco carried on, "just because he didn't die when he was supposed to, and if you ask me, that's just luck, and luck doesn't make you worthy of all of that attention and praise, and I think–"

"Stop," Luci cut him off, returning her gaze to his face.

He blinked at her, and she confronted him. "So you're _jealous_?"

"No!" he barked.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just… well, it's not fair, is it?"

Luci considered this. She'd also never had any attention. "No, I suppose not. I guess I wouldn't like him either."

Then she laughed, despite herself. And he laughed too, and she'd never heard him do so before, and it brought forth a wave of affection towards him.

Of course, he ruined it by adding, "Well, we're the only ones."

"The only ones what?"

"Who don't worship Potter."

"Oh, I can't imagine that's true," doubted Luci, handing Draco a quill.

"It is, believe me," he complained. "It's like he can't do anything wrong."

"Are you sure this isn't all in your head, Draco?"

Her brother glared at her briefly, but then simply answered, "You'll see. But he's done plenty wrong. It's just that people seem to forget. Once, he set a snake on a bunch of Hogwarts students."

"A snake?"

"Yeah. Told it to attack them or something. But no one thinks anything of it now. It's like it never happened."

"_Told_ it to attack them?" Luci asked, ignoring the rest.

He raised one shoulder. "The stupid prat talks to them, apparently."

She stopped herself from a sharp intake of breath. "Harry can speak Parseltongue?"

Draco merely nodded.

"Creepy," she said in hushed tones.

But his expression led Luci to believe that he didn't find it creepy at all. On the contrary, the envy was blazing in his eyes.

"Well, Draco, I don't think that not being accountable for one's actions makes you a better person anyway. So someday, he'll probably stumble and fall and lose everything. Then maybe others will see what you see." She paused and smiled. "If it's there."

He scoffed. "Oh, it's bloody there, alright."

"So you two have never gotten along?" asked Luci, though she knew the answer. She was really just digging for details. On one hand, she'd always heard such wonderful things about Harry. On the other, she entirely understood Draco's dislike for him. And… Parseltongue? That was never a good sign.

"I gave him a chance to align himself with me," Draco was saying. "He chose his path."

She frowned in confusion. "You're telling me that he rejected your offer of friendship?"

"Basically," her brother answered. "He started surrounding himself with Weasleys and Mudbloods."

"Oh, right. And you can't hang out with anyone who's anywhere near Weasleys or Mudbloods," she said sarcastically, realizing that Draco probably never tried to like Harry at all.

"Don't condescend me," he snarled.

"I'm not," she answered slowly, seeing her misstep. She was supposed to be a Death Eater. Accordingly, she should disdain them just as much as he did. "I'm just saying that we're going to have to tolerate Weasleys around here for awhile."

"And Mudbloods."

Luci was the only Mudblood in the house. She swallowed a moment of apprehension before inquiring, "Who?"

"Granger," said Draco, as if the word tasted terrible on his tongue.

"Hermione? She's a Mudblood?" Luci shuttered at even saying the word.

"Muggle born. Disgusting, isn't it?"

Luci was only as bad as Half-Blood, but it still stung, offended her, infuriated her, really. But she pushed it all down and replied calmly, "What is it that disgusts you? Do Muggles disgust you?"

"No…" he hesitated. "I just don't think that those without pure blood should be contaminating our schools and our government and our entire society."

"But they can do magic too. Doesn't that outcast them from the Muggle world? Where are they supposed to go?"

"They can start their own world," he said, as if this was obvious.

"Then there would only be, like, ten of us in this world, because there are so few pure bloods nowadays," responded Luci, matter-of-factly.

"All the more reason to start weeding them out and producing more of us."

"I suppose," she said, fighting against the anger, trying to keep up her façade. It was harder than she would have believed – pretending to be something else. She wanted to stop talking about this, so she added with all the humor she could muster, "But we'd have arms growing out of the tops of our heads before long."

"What?" he grimaced.

Luci laughed. "Nature just has a different course, I think."

When he gave her an exasperated look, she covered by adding, "Look, I don't think they're as good as we are or anything, but they're around, so we just have to live with it."

"Until he gets all of his power back, anyway."

She knew that he was referring to Lord Voldemort, and in response, she could only murmur, "Yes, until then."


	6. Chapter Six: Report

**Chapter Six – Report**

Most of her days went on this way. She spent hours upon hours with Draco, trying to get into his head, though she didn't know why. He was fascinating. So convicted about these things, yet she could tell that he didn't even really believe them. It was a bizarre phenomenon, a severe case of brainwashing.

It was sad, really. The hypocrisy of his father. _Their_ father. All this disdain for Half-bloods and Muggleborns that had been implanted into Draco, and in reality, it was all just an extreme created by Lucius to hide his own sordid past. To hide Luci.

Sometimes she wanted to tell him the truth about the man that he tried so hard to please. The fury boiled so close to her surface, nearly all the time, and it took every ounce of her strength to stay in character. But she plodded on, if only because she needed to keep her word, especially to Dumbledore.

As the days passed at Grimmauld Place, and then turned into weeks, she and Draco got through a good bit of studying. He was brilliant, but had no propensity for applying himself. He always seemed a bit pre-occupied. Especially after a session with his mother.

One morning, at breakfast, Narcissa had announced that she would be teaching her son the Dark Arts, as she didn't trust Luci to do it. Luci couldn't blame her, of course, and made no quarrels, at least not audibly. Draco, however, commented that Luci would probably be better for the job, being an Auror and all, and that she might have useful knowledge. Narcissa swore, silenced him, and it was never mentioned again.

And Luci never asked what his mother was teaching him. But when _she_ was teaching him, she was also managing to discover who her brother was. And he wasn't what he appeared to be, and that was a relief, though she didn't know why. She supposed it was because she had proof that the evil didn't run in her blood.

Yes, Draco was conceited and spoiled and disrespectful and self-righteous and jealous. But he was also scared and lonely and confused and traumatized and starving for attention. A little like Luci herself. And it came down to the fact that they were keeping each other company, distracting each other from the pain, and, at least on Luci's part, kind of enjoying it. Even though Draco remained standoffish and often curt, he sometimes behaved as though he might enjoy her companionship, as well.

In fact, they were rarely apart, and in these cases, Luci sent letters back and forth from home, using the post office down the street, as owls couldn't find Number Twelve. Sometimes, she also wrote in her journal, or read thirstily in the library, or attended meetings with the Order. These gatherings never brought much news, and certainly nothing exciting, but she did feel a sense of inclusion that she treasured, and that wasn't often there.

Except with Fleur. The two girls had taken to each other, even though Luci realized that she probably shouldn't surround herself with women who outshined her in every way. But having a friend made up for the feeling of inadequacy. They mostly sat around talking, sometimes gossiping, and Fleur insisted that they do girly things, like spa treatments. She would invite Luci to visit her home, but of course, Luci couldn't leave Draco and Narcissa for any length of time, and was obligated to refuse.

On the third day of July, in the mid-afternoon, they were in the drawing room, and Fleur was demolishing Luci in a hand of Gin Rummy.

"Bill's fam-ee-ly vill be here next veek," Fleur was pondering aloud.

She was obviously counting down the days; the Weasley's arrival would mean the real beginning of her wedding planning. Luci didn't know why they hadn't come already, as school had been out for a month or so. It was peculiar timing. She could only imagine that it was to clear out their home for the ceremony preparations.

"Yes," she responded. "Are you getting excited?"

"Ov course! Vut girl does not vant to be fussed overe?"

"None in their right mind, I'm sure," smiled Luci. "We'll make sure you're more stunning than usual, though I don't have any idea how."

"It vill be divicult. Zots of pampere-ing vill be a good start."

There had been a time when Luci had thought that Fleur was terribly conceited, but then she realized that a Veela always feels beautiful, and _is_ beautiful, and therefore, these comments were only the truth. And Luci wished that she could be the kind of enchantress that Fleur so effortlessly was. But she tried not to hold it against her.

"I zon't know vhy jou refuze to have a pedeecure," blustered Fleur, interrupting her thoughts.

"Because no one sees my feet," Luci answered simply. "And even if they did, I have no one to impress."

"Eez zere _no one_?"

She had asked this question numerous times before. Luci assumed that it was partly because love was such a focus in her own life right now, but she also figured that Fleur was nosey and loved talking about relationships and their possibilities, just like any pretty girl. If Luci had any possibilities, maybe she'd enjoy it too.

"Like I've said before, no one."

"Not eve-an at home?"

She looked up and met the French girl's captivating eyes. "Fleur, just because you're happy and getting married doesn't mean that you have to make sure that the rest of us are too. I don't have your magnetism. Boys hate me; always have."

"Bête."

"What?" Luci huffed. She hated when Fleur spoke French, as she knew none whatsoever. It felt condescending.

"Seely. Jou are imposseebly seely."

"It's not silly at all," continued Luci, feeling even more patronized. "It's the truth. Can we please change the subject?"

In actuality, it may have been a _bit_ silly. Josh was interested, after all. And Mark had been, however briefly. And she knew that she wasn't hard to look at or anything. But, in general, she had always felt invisible to the opposite sex.

"Vut else eez zere to salk about in life but boy-eez?" Fleur had chimed cheerily.

"Plenty," Luci grumbled in reply.

"Zomeday, jou vill meet zomeone spay-cial, and I jus hope zat I am zere to zee it."

Luci laid down a meld of three sevens and said, "Me too, because it would be quite a miracle. _Then_ you can give me a pedicure."

* * *

As the summer had progressed, Grimmauld Place had grown more stifling with the European heat. It was a particularly muggy night, two days before the Weasley family was set to arrive, when Luci was startled nearly into heart failure by a voice.

"Miss Keegan?"

She jumped from the chair in which she'd been seated, before her desk, and whirled around, in search of the voice. Her eyes went immediately to the window that she had left cracked for some ventilation.

There was a frustrated intake of breath, and Luci's gaze moved towards the sound, and then settled on the face in her fireplace.

"Severus! You scared me to death!"

"My apologies," he muttered, but he didn't sound the least bit sorry.

"I just… I hadn't heard from you, and it's been so long, I really didn't expect to."

"I was getting settled," he explained.

"Okay…" she said, as she seated herself before him.

"Are things going according to plan?" asked Severus.

"Yes," Luci answered. "We're just sitting here, in the house. Draco is catching up on his schoolwork. Nothing else, really."

"No one has discovered anything… that they were not intended to know?"

"Of course not," she spat defensively.

"It is important that it remains so."

"I _know_ that."

He smirked. "Nothing to report then?"

"Narcissa insisted on teaching him Dark Arts herself," responded Luci.

After a moment, he merely commented, "Curious," and then went on, "Since you have little to account for, I am assuming that Potter is yet to arrive?"

"No, not yet. Near the end of the month, I'm told. And the Weasley family within the next few days."

Severus sniffed disagreeably. "I'm sure that will make things interesting for you. Focus on your objective. Do not get distracted."

"Why would I get distracted?" she inquired.

"I am trusting that you won't."

In this moment, for some reason, Luci wanted to ask him how he was doing, how he was dealing with Dumbledore's death. But she knew that he was not the kind of person of which you could ask such questions. Except that everyone needed to be asked how they were feeling, every once in awhile.

He cut off her thoughts, speaking with finality, "I can be reached in this location. Otherwise, carry on. I will come for another report at the end of the month."

And then he was gone.

Luci took a deep breath. He could appear in her room at any moment. Suddenly, she felt like she had no privacy at all, yet every piece of her was hidden, and it was a terrible paradox indeed.

Since Draco and Narcissa had gone to bed, as had most of the inhabitants of the house, Luci decided that she needed some fresh air. It was very quiet when she Apparated herself to the little payphone down the block.

It was only around six o'clock in the evening in Arizona. Josh would be home from work by now. She wanted to talk to someone with whom she could be herself, and he probably hadn't had time yet to respond to her letter.

She dialed his number, being sure to include the necessary calling codes.

After four rings, his answering machine picked up. She was only a little disappointed.

"Hi Josh, it's me. I was just calling to check in and see how things are going. Somehow, I ended up getting busy here, but it's actually just–"

"Luci?"

He'd picked up in the middle of her babbling.

"Hey," she chirped.

"Where on earth are you calling from?"

"A payphone in the middle of a street in London."

"Oh," replied Josh. "I didn't recognize the number. They don't have a phone where you're at?"

"Nope. It's strictly magic around here."

He scoffed. "God, that sounds terrible. No technology, then?"

"No, and believe me, I am desperately missing computers."

_And air conditioning_, she thought.

"And late-night movies with the sexiest guy you know?"

Suddenly, she regretted calling him. He was doing his irritating little number, where he fished for compliments, and sometimes showered her with them, expecting reciprocity. She rarely gave in. Often, she just ignored the play, as she did now.

"You're watching late-night movies with Brad Pitt?"

"Ha ha," he grumbled. "Are you saying I'm not the sexiest guy you know?"

Luci sighed dramatically. "I'm not saying that at all, and you know it."

"So I am?"

"Josh!" she growled, finally cracking. "Why do you put me on the spot like this? None of my other friends demand that I tell them they're sexy! Sometimes, I don't even wanna talk to you, because you always bring it back to this ridiculous idea that you've got in your head!"

He was silent for a few moments, and she huffed into the phone.

Finally, he answered, "It's not ridiculous."

"It _is_!" she cried. "Why can't we just be friends, like we always were?"

"Because that's not enough for me, and it never was, and you said you'd try this with me when you got back."

Luci didn't answer, and he spat, "Unless you were just placating me."

"Josh…"

He made a hoarse noise. "So you were?"

"N-no…" she stuttered guiltily.

Why couldn't she be honest with him? The truth was, he was a terrific friend, and she did adore him, and she didn't want to lose him. But she didn't want to date him either. Or appease his insecurities with lies, which was exactly what she was doing.

"Good," said Josh, and she could hear the smile return to his voice. "So I'm waiting for you and you're waiting for me, and now we just have to get through a few months."

"Right," she sighed in defeat. She didn't wanna argue. She was kind of done, and wanted to go to bed.

"So what time is it there?" he went on, merry once again.

"A little past one," Luci answered softly, still completely in knots about this whole conversation.

"Why are you still up?"

She shrugged, but realized he couldn't see this, and answered, "Don't sleep much."

"You never did. But how come?"

"Pressure, I guess."

"Who's pressuring you?"

"Oh, you know. I'm pressuring myself, as always."

Josh chuckled.

But Luci wasn't smiling. She responded, "Draco and his mother aren't very easy to deal with. And everyone else treats me like some kind of criminal."

"That's because they don't know you and you're pretending to be, well, a criminal."

"Maybe," she agreed, "but it gets exhausting."

"Pretty boring stuck in that house all the time too, I imagine."

"We'll have some new blood in a few days. Maybe that'll spice things up."

"What kind of new blood?" asked Josh suspiciously.

"The Weasleys," she answered, as she'd told him about their coming in her letters. And then added, "Hey, I should go. A deserted street is not a good place for a girl in the middle of the night."

She could hear him suppress a laugh. "We both know that you can take care of yourself."

"In some ways, at least," muttered Luci.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. I'll call again soon, okay?"

He inhaled deeply, obviously disappointed by the end of the conversation. "Just remember, I'm always here if you need me."

"I never forget, Josh."

"Good. Love you."

"You too," Luci emitted quickly, and then she hung up the phone.


	7. Chapter Seven: Red Hair

**Chapter Seven – Red Hair (corresponds with POTP Chapter 2)**

The day that the Weasley family arrived, Luci was scrubbing the walls in one of the upstairs bedrooms. She'd been helping the Order to clean the place up a bit, and it was hard work, though she'd been told that if she'd seen its previous state, she wouldn't be complaining.

Draco was with his mother, supposedly studying.

Bill had been assisting Luci with this washing, until he'd heard the door and went down to greet his family. He'd tried to convince her to join him, but Luci wasn't feeling up to it. So now, she was in here alone, writing a letter to Josh in her head, explaining why the two of them could never see each other romantically. She'd been working on the wording since their last conversation, and had still been unable to get it right.

If she were honest, Luci did want someone to love, someone to call her own, like any girl would, she supposed. But her mind and heart were so muddled that she just complicated relationships. Her friends were saints for sticking around. And besides her own lack of self-worth, she hadn't really had any viable options since Mark.

Perhaps she could date a Weasley.

They were a terribly loud bunch, congregating downstairs. Finally, Luci decided to put down her sponge (she found that she felt things to be cleaner without magic), push back her inclination to be anti-social, and go introduce herself.

She went out onto the landing and peered over the banister. There was red hair as far as the eye could see, except for one head covered in long, frizzy brunette hair. Either Tonks was having a bizarre day or this must be Hermione Granger.

"Luci!" called Arthur, when he saw her coming down the last staircase. "Glad you decided to come meet the family!"

Molly glanced up and scowled briefly. Luci realized that the woman was never going to trust her, least of all, like her. But she was coming to terms with it. It was as difficult as being disliked by anyone, which was exceptionally difficult for a people-pleaser like Luci.

"Fred and George!" announced Arthur, as the two boys, obviously twins, stood closest to her.

They extended their hands, recited their names aloud (which Luci mixed up, as they were identical), and she shook with them and said, "Pleasure!" over the noise.

Then she saw her. It could only be Ginny. Fleur had once told Luci that she thought Ginny might have some Veela blood herself, because she had proven so irresistible to pretty much everyone. And Luci could see why. Her skin was flawless, her hair fell glittering over her shoulders, and her features were classically beautiful. Luci found herself unbelievably envious.

What on earth would prompt Harry Potter to break up with this splendid creature? Fleur had said, during her long narratives about her future in-laws, that it had been for Ginny's protection, which Luci supposed was a valid point, but at this moment, still found it preposterous.

But Luci's jealousy was interrupted by someone snarling, "What's going on?"

She followed the voice and placed it to yet another red-haired boy, this one somewhere in his teens, she guessed. He was glaring at something above them, and Luci turned to see Draco and Narcissa glowering back hatefully over the banister.

_So it begins_, she thought to herself, melodramatically.

Draco was sneering. The Weasley boy now wore an expression somewhere in between loathing and shock.

"Come into the kitchen, Ron," Luci heard Remus cajole, from the intended room. "We'll explain everything."

And as the entire party exited the area, Ron's eyes never left Draco's.

Luci hurried up the staircase, impeding her brother and his mother, who were halfway down.

"Leave it," Luci said in hushed tones.

"Leave what?" Narcissa asked innocently.

Luci gritted her teeth in exasperation. "Let's all just go back to our rooms and make ourselves scarce until the idea of us being here is… well, more acceptable."

Her brother scoffed, and Narcissa replied, "The idea will never be acceptable to me!"

Draco frowned slightly and Luci briefly wondered what he was thinking, before she snapped at Narcissa, "We're protected here, and we've been allowed to stay because we've kept quiet. So let's continue doing that, shall we?"

They held one another's gaze for a long moment. Finally, Narcissa hissed, "Come, Draco, let us return to your revisions."

Luci nodded her approval and watched them as they sauntered off and disappeared into Narcissa's room. She almost allowed herself to sigh in relief, but she found it unlikely that there would be any peace in this household from now on.

* * *

And she was right, though the reason for the lack of peace ending up surprising her. To her delight, Draco and Narcissa were only seen by the Weasleys at meals, whereupon, Ron Weasley, the teenage boy who had been so unwelcoming, spent loads of unnecessary energy scowling at them. But he never said a word aloud, though he was often seen whispering to Hermione Granger, who usually shook her curly head helplessly in response.

Everyone else's energy was going straight into the wedding. The chatter was often lively around the entire house, no matter what time of day, with discussion of flowers, cakes, decorations, dresses, and the like. The Malfoy family was never included, of course, but they got their share at these communal meal times.

During lunch on this particulate day in late July, the current topic was how to move the wedding into the Weasley's home if it were to rain. Most of the participants supported the use of magic to shield the guests instead. However, it was appearing difficult to determine who would oversee this project and give up their seat at the ceremony.

Fleur, who sat next to Luci, turned to her and said flippantly, "Eetz not going to wain, ov course."

"Unlikely," agreed Luci.

"No," replied Fleur. "Eemposseeble. Good fortune eez alvays wiz me."

Luci tilted her head to the side, answering, "That is very obviously true. Perhaps you should tell them to stop wasting their breath?"

Fleur shrugged. "But eet eez too enshoyable to have my weddeeng be zee centere of _atten-shee-yon_."

"Oh, Fleur, when have you ever _not_ been the center of _atten-shee-yon_?"

The Veela looked thoughful for a moment, and then answered, "I cannot remembere… but I am zure zere may have been a momeent or two zomewhere…"

Luci laughed. "It must be awesome to be you."

Bill cut in at this moment and looked around his fiance towards Luci. "Actually, it's awesome to be _me_," and wrapped his arm lovingly around Fleur's shoulders.

Grimacing, Luci muttered, "Gag me with a spoon."

* * *

Early the next morning, before breakfast, the members of the Order gathered in the kitchen for an exchange of news. As usual, nothing significant had transpired. There was a new Auror at the Ministry, and everyone was discussing this poor young boy with blatant suspicion, in between more wedding chatter.

Luci had pretty much tuned out, until Arthur got to his feet, and she heard him say, "Well, then, if we're done here, I'll be off to fetch Harry."

Luci stood, as well, a little too hastily. "Can I come with you?"

Arthur narrowed his eyes at her, and Molly cried, "Absolutely not!"

"Please," Luci pleaded. "I haven't been out of this house in over a month."

It was a lie, of course, as she'd been sneaking out, when everyone was asleep, to make phone calls and send letters. But that couldn't be considered anything significant, since she'd forgotten what sunlight looked and felt like. And besides, she was eager to meet this boy. If nothing else, she would have to protect Draco from him. She kind of wanted to sneak up on him, instead of having it be the other way around, in case it turned out that she needed the upper hand.

"And just who do you think will keep a leash on your family up there?" spat Molly.

"They're not _dogs_," Luci answered indignantly. "They know the consequences, should they cause any problems. They'll be fine for, what, half an hour?"

"An hour at the most," agreed Arthur. "We'll be back in time for your delicious breakfast, my dear."

Molly huffed, began to say something else, but then shook her head and ceased her protests.

"Very well," said her husband merrily. "Off we go, then?"

"Let me just change real quick," Luci responded, trying not to show her excitement at a small triumph, and then she headed upstairs.

She thought it most appropriate to don her ministry robes, partly to appear official, and partly to boost her poise. She tugged on some slacks and threw her uniform over her shoulders. Then she hurried back down to Arthur, who was waiting near the front door.

He nodded in approval at her attire, smiled, "Shall we?" and extended an arm to Luci.

Almost as soon as she'd touched him, her feet hit the ground in an alleyway. When they emerged from it, she saw that this was an ordinary Muggle neighborhood. The houses had trim lawns, clean paint, and each of them looked almost identical to the next. She found it hard to believe that the legendary Harry Potter lived in one of these entirely _un-_legendary houses.

They strolled in silence, until Arthur said, "How are you hanging in?"

Luci's chest filled with warmth. At least _someone_ didn't hate her.

"It hasn't been easy," she answered. "And I miss home. But I'll get through it."

"Not many people could do what you're doing. It's very noble."

She released a bitter chuckle. "I don't know about that."

"You'll have to forgive those in the Order who haven't taken kindly to you. The Malfoys have been a world of trouble for most of us. I suppose others can't see past your relation. I, however, realize that you are entirely your own person."

Luci almost stopped walking in astonishment, but then merely stuttered, "Thank you, Arthur. It means a lot. Really."

He gave her an encouraging smile as they stepped onto the front stair of house number four. Then he rapped his knuckles on the door.

Loud footsteps echoed from inside of the home, and then the door swung open, revealing an obese man with a red face. When he saw them, the red elevated to purple.

"Hello there," said Arthur. "We've come to collect Harry. Is he ready?"

"How should I know?" said the fat man.

Luci raised an eyebrow at him, but Arthur just smiled pleasantly.

Two more people appeared behind the man – a thin woman with dark hair and a round teenager wearing a sweater that was too tight. Could this be Harry? Luci narrowed her eyes at him, and he turned crimson. Just like the man had…

Then she heard a creaking on the landing. She looked up to see a lean boy dragging a large trunk and carrying a cage, and in it, the most magnificent snow owl that Luci had ever seen. The boy couldn't have been more than half a foot taller than her, and this was saying something, because Luci was quite small. His jet-black hair fell into his eyes, and peeking out from beneath the tresses, she saw it – that lightning bolt scar.

He stopped midway down the stairs and caught her gaze with his startling green eyes. He was much better looking than Luci had expected him to be, and _far_ better looking than the boy in the sweater. She smiled up at him, feeling her pulse quicken at the unanticipated draw that she felt. Immediately, she looked away from him, and towards Arthur, hoping that he might break the awkward silence.

To her relief, he said, "Hello, Harry. I trust you've had a lovely summer?"

Harry nodded, but he didn't say anything.

"This is Luci Keegan, from the Ministry of Magic," Arthur went on.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Harry," Luci said, trying to appear friendly while still avoiding another locking of their eyes. She told herself that she was uncomfortable because she'd never met a celebrity before, and that she'd feel the exact same way if she were watching late-night movies with Brad Pitt.

"Hi," mumbled Harry Potter, almost inaudibly, and sounding as if he couldn't care less who she was.

"Well, then, dear Vernon, we'll be taking Harry off of your hands now," said Arthur to the boy's uncle.

"Very well," he replied.

Harry then came down into the entryway.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye," he said to his family.

And the sound of his full voice sent prickles all along Luci's skin. What was wrong with her? It was just the accent, she told herself. Brad didn't have an accent. Though… she had been listening to these people for months… Maybe she was just nervous, after all the things that Draco had told her. That had to be it. She was on her toes, because he could be very dangerous to her.

"Yes, yes, goodbye, then," the fat man was saying, practically pushing Harry towards the door.

Luci was horrified by this behavior, but Harry seemed unaffected.

"Lovely folks," she said sarcastically to Arthur as they started down the walkway. She brought her hand back to her wand, concealed within her robes.

"They aren't the most pleasant of Muggles," he agreed

"That's putting it mildly!"

How could they treat their own family that way? The same way that her father could, she supposed.

The three of them started back along the street, Harry following just behind Luci and Arthur. She had a feeling that he would have preferred her not to be there, and she suddenly felt guilty for tagging along.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Arthur went on, "about cells."

"Cells?" she repeated, torn from her thoughts.

"Yes, yes, what could they possibly be?"

"Like… biological cells?"

"No, no… some kind of device for communication?"

"Oh!" she chimed. "Cell _phones_? They're these big brick things that you can talk to one another on. Via radio waves or something, I think. I don't have one."

"Merlin's beard!" exclaimed Arthur.

She laughed, and so did he.

Then he went on, "I understand you traveled here upon an… _airplane_?"

Luci nodded. She loved wizards who had very little experience in the Muggle world; they were always so fascinated.

"And how, pray tell, do they stay _up_?" Arthur's tone had elevated with enthusiasm.

She shrugged. "Beats me. Muggles have a magic all of their own."

He nodded heartily.

They were approaching the alleyway, and since Luci could practically feel waves of distrust radiating from the boy behind her, she tentatively brought herself to walking alongside him.

"I'm sorry there was no warning that I'd be joining Arthur," she said, trying to sound harmless and affable.

His eyes had shifted to the ground and he made no reply.

She took a sharp breath and went on, "I hope you don't mind, but I have to admit that I really just couldn't wait any longer to meet The Boy Who Lived."

She had hoped that the compliment would soften him, but he seemed to be angered and spat, "I'm not a boy anymore!"

Luci almost jerked in response, but she forced herself to smile and answer, "I can see that."

Oh, what a horrible start. She just hoped that he didn't find her threatening in any way. It would make a worse case for Draco and his mother, and the maintaining of their safety. She had heard it said, multiple times, that Grimmauld Place belonged to Harry, and Luci was terrified, because he had every right to kick the three of them out into the streets, and she had failed miserably to acquire any kind of upper hand.

"Here we are," said Arthur abruptly, stopping in the alley. "Now, Harry, you haven't yet received your Apparition license, so I'll have you take my arm."

Arthur extended an elbow and Harry, still eyeing Luci with suspicion, accepted it.

Luci appeared a split second behind the pair of them, upon the step that led into Grimmauld Place.

Arthur tapped his wand against the door and the locks unfastened themselves, the entrance opening to them.

And though they were all practically tiptoeing, that ridiculous dead woman immediately went to screaming. Luci realized that it was due to the crowd of people filtering into the hallway. She suddenly felt claustrophobic, and by the time someone had silenced the portrait, Harry was being smothered and Luci was making her way into the kitchen.

Draco looked up and questioned coldly, "And how was it?"

She sat down beside him, ignoring Narcissa's familiar glare of hatred, and replied, "Uneventful. Glad it's over."

"Why did you go?" asked her brother.

"Because that boy is a threat to us and I wanted to see what he was all about."

Draco seemed pleased by her answer, and Luci finished, "Besides, I needed some fresh air."

"That's not fair!" he huffed. "_We_ never get fresh air!"

"Well, you know why."

"So? It's still shit."

Luci tilted her head in agreement.

"You didn't tell me you were going," Draco accused.

Narcissa made a funny expression of mixed surprise and concern.

"Shall I report all things to you in the future?" questioned Luci.

"Yes," smiled her brother, "you shall. Promptly and with accuracy."

She grinned in response, unwinding along with his improved mood.

And then Harry Potter noticed the presence of Draco Malfoy.

From the doorway of the kitchen, he bellowed, "What is _he_ doing here?"

Luci's chest immediately tightened, as if her body was preparing for a fight. It was exactly what she'd been afraid of, though she could see Hermione trying to talk Harry down.

Nevertheless, he exclaimed, "_Overreact_? He tried to kill Dumbledore!"

And then he was lurching towards them, wand in hand. To Luci's relief, Hermione had seized him.

"But he _didn't. _And he wouldn't have. You know that. He needed protection and his mother brought him here. Voldemort would kill both of them if he found them."

Narcissa made a choking noise at the statement.

"I don't give a damn!" Harry snarled at Hermione. "I want him out of here! This is_ my_ house and they've had him here without me knowing about it? And his mother too? And this… this girl I've never heard of?"

At this, Luci's cheeks went warm and she turned her eyes to her empty plate.

Ron jumped in. "We don't like it anymore than you do, but we've had no choice."

Harry fumed, "Well, _I_ do! I'm gonna kill him!"

Luci felt Draco's body stiffen next to hers. She whispered to him, "Don't worry," even though she was literally shaking with fear herself.

But Ginny had grabbed Harry and was speaking softly to him. Luci could practically _see_ their chemistry, and once again, pondered what could possibly be keeping them apart.

And then Harry was yelling again. "He's the _enemy_! He's always _been_ the enemy! Why are you all suddenly his defenders? Let him stay because it's the _decent_ thing to do? You've gotta be bloody joking!"

And then Remus was pulling Harry aside, and Luci relaxed in brief reprieve. She knew that he could explode again at any moment.

Along with Narcissa and Draco, she watched nervously as Remus talked to the boy. Then, reluctantly, and much to Luci's relief, Harry quietly joined his friends at the far end of the table, and Luci could no longer hear their conversation.

She turned to her brother. "Are you okay?"

"Nothing happened," he said simply.

"Jour life waz thweatened," contributed Fleur, to Luci's left.

"Potter?" scoffed Draco. "He doesn't have it in him."

"That's not what you've told me before," Luci said.

Draco gave her a glance of warning to shut her mouth.

"Ze boy can be vewy fierce."

Luci raised her eyebrow at her brother, and then smiled softly at Fleur. "Yes, well, I've heard the same about you."

"Just ven eet comes to my Bill," Fleur said, and then added quietly, so only the two of them could hear, "Especially in zee bedvroom."

Luci laughed. "Well, we can all only hope to exude your charms."

"Ah, hope iz footile," she said with a shake of her lovely head. "I am unpawalleled."

"Of course, you are. Draco, do you find Fleur to be unparalleled?"

He looked surprised at the question for a moment, as he hadn't been paying attention, but then he answered playfully, "Well, I don't know. She'd have to show me, wouldn't she?"

Fleur looked absolutely appalled and made a quiet huff.

Draco chuckled, and at Luci's scolding expression, said, "What? She's getting married tomorrow. Now is my only chance."

Luci shook her head good-humoredly at him, and said lightly, "Thank god for a change of mood. Even if we have to make you feel uncomfortable, Fleur."

But the beautiful girl smiled, and Draco jeered, "Enjoy the humanity. It sucks."

"Eet eesn't so bad," she replied, waving her hand.

Luci laughed this time, and her brother joined her, and Fleur seemed pleased, as always, to be the center of _atten-shee-yon._


	8. Chapter Eight: Flattery

**Chapter Eight – Flattery (corresponds with POTP Chapter 3)**

Luci awoke to a frantic knocking on her bedroom door.

The bride was standing in the hallway, still in her pajamas, with her hair in shambles.

"What happened to you?" asked Luci sleepily.

"Mageek eez not verking!" Fleur shrieked. "I need jour Muggle twicks!"

"Shh," said Luci. "Get in here."

"Zis eez a dizastere! Zook at me!"

"I can handle this. The problem with the magic is probably just your nerves. Relax."

"How can I welax? I must look _pear-fect_!"

"Fleur, you're a Veela. I don't even get how you can be nervous at all!"

She sighed exasperatedly. Luci had never seen her anything less than perfectly poised. "Zomeday, jou vill un-dare-stand," she said.

"Doubtful," Luci muttered.

"No?" questioned Fleur with a frown, as she sat down in Luci's desk chair.

"No. I've told you. Not in my cards, I'm sure of it. Would need to find someone to tolerate me, obviously."

Luci had buried her hands into the thick golden hair and was tangling her fingers in preparation for an attempt at a French braid. Very appropriate.

Fleur sighed. "Eetz too bad jou are not a Veela. Ve never have pwoblems wiz our confeedence."

"You were nervous three seconds ago," Luci pointed out.

Then Fleur turned abruptly in the chair, bringing her face up in order to look at Luci, who frowned, as she'd lost her place in the braid.

"Jou must come to zee wedding, Luzee!" she cooed, forgetting the previous topic.

"Fleur, you know I can't leave for that long. Draco and Narcissa would be all alone in this house."

"Just zee weception zen?" she suggested. "And von't Wemus still be here?"

"I don't know," Luci answered, turning Fleur's head and locating the correct sections of hair.

"I am jur he vill be. I vould like to have my hair styleest zere, and zee bride gets vut zee bride vonts."

Luci smiled. "I'll see what I can do, how's that?"

"Zat vill be fine if jour Muggle twicks vurk."

"Oh, they'll work. There's a reason why we Half-Bloods still do so much the old-fashioned way."

Being such a perfectionist and understanding the severity of the crisis, Luci produced a completely flawless braid, and it was stunning on the already-enrapturing Fleur, who immediately floated out of the room to show Molly. Luci doubted this would endear the distrusting woman to her at all, but at least she'd made herself somewhat useful. And pleasing Fleur was never unrewarding.

Not long after, the house was empty and silent. Draco and Narcissa had once again locked themselves away, and Luci wandered into the drawing room, where Remus sat, engrossed in a book.

He looked up when she cleared her throat and gave her a tired smile.

"Don't you want to go to the wedding?"

"Luci, weddings are very much a female enthusiasm."

She smiled. "True, but men _do_ attend. Thank you for giving up the opportunity. I know it's because of us."

He sighed. "Molly's insistence. But don't take it personally."

"How can I not?" Luci complained, throwing her hands into the air. "She doesn't think I'm capable of keeping an eye on things. Either that, or she thinks I'm the worst of all of us and will lure them into some devious plan."

Remus closed his book. "You read too much into things."

"It's not easy to be hated, Remus, and to have to pretend to be someone who is entirely worthy of hatred, at that," groaned Luci, throwing herself dejectedly onto the couch.

"Molly knows the truth."

Luci looked up at him. "Yeah, but she disregards it."

"There will always be people like Molly and Harry who are a bit overprotective," he smiled softly. "But you must see it from their point of view, yes?"

"Harry?" she questioned. "What does he have to do with it?"

"Oh. I thought you might be referring to yesterday's chaos."

"Not exactly, but yeah, that was pretty… humiliating, I guess."

"Why's that?" he asked.

"Because… back home, people knew me to be a trustworthy person. I mean, I never had many friends, but I didn't have enemies either, like I have here."

"I wouldn't consider anyone in this house your enemy. Molly is just looking out for her children. And Harry… well, he has a hot temper, that's all. He'll cool down."

"I hope so," sighed Luci. "I'm worried that he won't and that he'll forbid us from staying here and it'll be up to me to figure out how to keep these two people safe. And I don't even care. I just… Professor Dumbledore asked me and I gave my word, but now I'm trapped and I hate it."

What was she doing? Why was she spilling her guts to this man that she hardly knew? Maybe because he was always so nonjudgmental and at this moment, there was a kind understanding in his eyes.

And she entirely forgave herself when he answered, "Every one of us would have done anything asked of us by the late Headmaster. I think you are doing a very dignified thing indeed. Keep up your spirits, and just let the rest of us worry about Harry."

Luci met his gaze and gave him the most grateful smile that she could muster. "You don't owe me anything, Remus. So thank you. For that."

He nodded.

"Do you mind if I ask a really ridiculously huge favor?"

And then he frowned and raised an eyebrow.

"Fleur wants me to drop by the reception. Just briefly. I told her I'd at least make an attempt."

His expression melted into understanding, and he responded, "Please go. Have a good time. You need it. I'll take care of anything that might arise."

"Oh my god, thank you! You deserve a medal!"

He laughed. "Tell that to the people who give out the medals."

"Someday, I will," she grinned. "Okay, I'll be back soon. If anything happens, I give you permission to spank them."

Remus looked stunned for a moment, but then he chuckled and answered, "Let's hope it doesn't come to _that_."

* * *

Luci Apparated to the spot that the wedding party had specified when she had heard them leaving Grimmauld Place. She found herself in a small yard, surrounded by people and food and decorations.

She searched for the white gown, and her eyes fell on Fleur almost immediately. She was practically radiating light as other guests were congratulating her.

When Luci approached, Fleur flung out her arms to embrace her.

"Jou came!" she declared.

"Only for a little while," said Luci, pulling away. "You look marvelous! How was it?"

"Mar-vay-luz!" she chimed. "Now, go enzjoy jourself vhile jou can!"

And then Fleur was dancing away, straight into Bill's arms, and he was beaming in a way that Luci wasn't sure was even possible for anyone less than a god.

She watched them, aching just a little bit, in spite of herself. Sometimes, she felt like a normal girl, who wanted normal things, like maybe someone to look at her like that…

"Hi," came a voice.

Luci turned and upon seeing him, grumbled, "Dear god, it's more red hair!"

He laughed. "Sorry. It can be a bit overwhelming."

"A bit," she smiled.

"I'm Charlie," he offered, "and you look as out of place as I am, so I figured maybe we should stick together."

Luci studied him curiously. He looked almost entirely like the others, but instead of being tall and lanky, he had an athletic build, with strong, broad shoulders. "How did you know that I needed to be rescued?"

"A little bird told me?" he answered, his eyebrows raised.

She laughed. "I'm Luci."

"I know," he said. "The little bird was Tonks."

"Ah. That meddler. I'll have to have a talk with her."

"We can dance in her direction," suggested Charlie, extending his hand.

Luci hesitated, but then took it and agreed, "Good plan," before falling into rhythm.

"A beautiful day for a wedding, yeah?"

Luci groaned.

"What?"

"Small talk. It's dreadful."

He grinned. "Yeah, it is, isn't it? What would you rather?"

Luci shrugged, feeling his hand shift along her waist. "So why are _you_ out of place?"

"Just been away from home for awhile. Sometimes, I come back, and I feel a little bit like a stranger with my own family."

"Hmm. Perhaps you should visit more often. Did you have to travel a long way?"

"From Romania," he nodded, "but I flew on a dragon, so it wasn't so bad."

Her heart skipped a beat. "A dragon?"

The creatures had always been a fascination for her, even as a child, before she knew that they were real.

Charlie nodded nonchalantly. "I work pretty closely with them, and they can be fairly domesticated."

"I _love_ them!" breathed Luci. "They freak me out, but in a good way."

He chuckled. "That's what JoAnn says," and when Luci raised an eyebrow, he clarified, "My girlfriend."

"Ah," she said simply. Of course, he hadn't been interested in _her_. And, of course, she wasn't really interested in him either, not in that way, but she'd almost had a moment of feeling flattered. It would be so nice to have a reason to feel flattered…

He must have seen the brief disappointment flash upon her face, because he chimed, "And you have many suitors back home, I'm sure?"

Mortified, she tried to smile. "I have a disillusioned friend, but no, I'm not really suitable for anyone."

The song had ended, and she stepped away, no more nearer to Tonks than before.

With a frown, he said, "That's an awful thing to say, and surely untrue."

"Maybe," she said with a tilt of her chin, and then, "Thank you for the dance."

"See you later then?"

"I'm sure you will."

She hurried away into the house, in hopes of finding some privacy. They'd been having a lovely conversation and then… She'd made such a fool of herself, and she could feel it creeping in, the sickness of her mind, so much more powerful than she was…

Harry Potter stood just inside, and forcing an offhand smile, she chirped, "Oh, hello, Harry."

He paid her no mind as she continued past.

But then she heard someone calling her name. She found the source of the voice to be that of a Weasley twin, but as they both stood before her, she couldn't tell them apart. She only knew, same as when she'd first met them, that one was called Fred, and the other, George.

"Listen, we have a feeling that our brother is going to ask you out," one of them said.

"Which one?" she asked, feeling very much like blushing. Perhaps _now_ she could feel flattered?

"A reasonable question," said the same twin.

"That'd be Percy," the other answered her, pointing towards yet another Weasley brother.

Eying this Percy with curiosity, she queried, "And what makes you think he'll be asking me out?"

The boys grinned and one replied, "We heard him telling someone from the Ministry that he fancied you."

"Ah," she said in understanding. "Obviously, he's blind, yes?" But she _did_ feel flattered, despite herself.

"We thought it'd be fun if you told him that you were dating _us_," giggled the first twin, ignoring her.

"_Both_ of you?" she exclaimed.

The twins nodded.

"That seems a little mean-spirited, doesn't it?" she asked, with a disapproving smile.

"He's an awful prat," said one boy.

"He deserves it; believe us," nodded the second.

Great, so someone was finally attracted to her, and he was an awful prat. Luci did not want to play these games. She was not in the mood. But she knew that it was very important to get these people to like her, so she shrugged, "Well, why not? _If_ he asks."

"Perfect!" the boys said together. They each gave her an enthusiastic slap on the shoulder, and then one of them said, "We'll be listening from afar!"

Luci turned around, determined to avoid this charade, but there stood Harry, apparently having listened to all of it. He appeared extremely interested. So she swallowed her melancholy and approached him.

"They're fun, eh?"

"Yeah, a riot," said Harry, and he smiled a smile that actually looked sincere. For some reason, her stomach gave a ridiculous jolt.

"Was it a nice ceremony?" she went on, even though she'd refused to small talk with Charlie. There was just something about Charlie. She could have told him the truth, and he wouldn't have thought her crazy at all. He reminded her a bit of Josh, without all of the awkward shit. But wonderful, loving Josh, who she wished was here right now to comfort her, but who would then probably try to kiss her again…

Harry had shrugged and answered, "I guess so."

But she had hardly heard him, as Percy Weasley was heading straight for them.

Luci nearly choked on air. "Wow, they weren't kidding. Here he comes."

Percy was suddenly merely inches away from her, offering his hand. Luci accepted and he said, "Percy Weasley, Assistant to the Minister of Magic."

"Luci Keegan," she put forward.

Percy threw a glare towards Harry, who seemed to take the hint, and he left her all alone with this man. She wanted to call him back, for some kind of protection, but he had already joined the twins.

"Don't mind them," said Percy, nodding towards Harry and the two boys. "They're probably up to some prank."

Luci almost smiled, but bit her lip. "Probably," she agreed.

"Children," he scoffed, before continuing, "As you may know by now, I've been working with the Minister for many years, and you cannot imagine the kind of respect I've earned. In the hierarchy, I've almost made it to the top. It's remarkable, really, what a bit of persistence and hard work can get for you."

She realized that her mouth had fallen open in sheer disbelief, and she promptly closed it. The twins had been off the mark; this man was here to brag about his achievements, but for what purpose?

"I have a lot of responsibilities and the Minister trusts me implicitly," he was going on. "I accompany him wherever he goes and keep records of all of his important matters. I'll have his job one day." He paused. "I understand that you're an Auror?"

"Y–" she attempted, but he cut her off with more verbal vomit.

"As personnel of the Ministry, we have a lot in common. Therefore, I wondered when you might like to discuss these commonalities over dinner with me?"

The awful prat ran his eyes over her in a fashion that made her skin crawl. Luci was never asked out very much, but when she was, it was by men who weren't of the least bit of interest to her. She cursed her luck and then shook her head at Percy.

"I'm sorry, but I'm seeing someone."

"Oh?"

"Two someones, actually."

"_Two_?" he asked, as if he hadn't heard her correctly.

"And seeing as how Fred and George are just over there, it would be quite impolite for me to accept."

"F-Fred and… George?"

"Mmm hmm," she nodded, feeling painfully deceptive, but almost not caring, in the face of this man's arrogance.

Percy's expression changed from astonishment to anger.

"Don't worry," said Luci teasingly. "I won't tell them that you hit on me."

He made a low, growling noise and marched away from her. She breathed a sigh of relief and suddenly felt like she needed a nap.

"That was brilliant!" one of the twins said, as he came back towards her, flagged by his brother and Harry.

"Glad to be of service," she said, trying to sound upbeat.

The twins snatched her hands, shaking them joyfully, and then they sauntered off, leaving her alone with Harry, a position in which she really did not want to be. So she stated, "I'm going to go say goodbye to Bill and Fleur," and walked away from him.

But he followed her. Of course, he'd want to send the newlyweds off, as well. How irritating.

When they arrived in the front room, the couple was so surrounded by people that Luci didn't think she had any chance of wishing them a happy honeymoon. Harry, of course, had wandered confidently into the crowd, because he was family. Luci wasn't. Feeling entirely like she did not belong here, she began to head outside so that she could Apparate back to the house without being seen.

But then Fleur called her name, and Luci turned to see her beckoning. Suddenly, she was overcome with a sense of friendship that she hadn't felt since she was in Arizona.

"Jou weren't leafing vithout zaying au revoir, vere jou?" asked the bride, when Luci had strolled over.

"You have enough people to bid farewell to," she said softly.

"Twue, but none ov zem did my hair," grinned Fleur.

Luci beamed in return and embraced her. "Congratulations. Again." And then she glanced at Bill and added, "Don't have too much fun. I think your parents would like you be come back alive."

He laughed and responded, "I can't make any promises."

Then he turned to someone that Luci didn't know and shook the man's hand.

"Okay," said Luci, addressing Fleur again, with a suggestive smile, "Go mess up your hair."

And, with every intention of returning to her guard post, Luci left the room.

But then she saw Charlie sitting alone in the living room, sipping punch. She almost kept walking, but then she sighed inaudibly and ambled over to him, seating herself in a nearby chair.

"Hi," she smiled.

"Hi," he returned in absolute welcome.

"Sorry about earlier."

He smiled, shaking his head as if to dismiss the whole incident. "Feeling better?"

"Better?" asked Luci, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, less rejected and self-abusing and whatnot."

Luci almost laughed. He was wonderful. So, in the same manner that she would have answered Josh, she answered Charlie, "I'm not sure there's ever been a time when I haven't felt rejected and self-abusing."

He frowned slightly. "That's a shame. From where I'm sitting, you have no reason for either."

"Well, you haven't gotten to know me yet," she countered.

Charlie shrugged his square shoulders. There was just something familiar about him, something comforting. Of course, Luci was a firm believer that your body's chemistry clicked well with some and not so well with others. It was just nature's way of sending you towards the right friends. And probably lovers too, though nature seemed to have forgotten Luci where that was concerned.

"Does that take a long while?" he was asking.

"Hmm?"

"Getting to know you?"

"Oh. No, not really. In general, I am an open book who will tell you far more than you want to know."

She chuckled at her own flawed nature, and he grinned.

"Good, because I don't have long."

"Back to Romania as soon as possible then?"

"Yep, just here for the free food. I'll fly out this evening."

"On your dragon?" asked Luci curiously.

Charlie opened his mouth to respond, but his father had strolled in and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Would you and Luci like to help your mother clean up the kitchen? I'm seeing all of the guests out."

"Sure," Charlie answered his father. He rose, and corrected himself, "I mean, I'm thrilled to help, but Luci's a guest."

"Please," scoffed Luci, standing. "I'm the hair stylist. And I love cleaning kitchens."

"Really?" frowned Charlie.

"Well, no," she smiled. "But I do love helping."

Molly was alone in the kitchen, and when she turned to see one of her sons walking in with the girl that she hated, she made a menacing hissing sound.

Charlie ignored her and said, "We've come to help. What needs to be done?"

Molly glowered at Luci, but then turned to her son and said with mock sweetness, "The two of you can tend to the dishes, if you'd like."

Charlie pointed his wand at the plates and saucers that were stacked on the table, and began to move them towards the sink. Molly immediately went about wiping the tables, her wand guiding a dishtowel over the surfaces.

Luci took up another towel and began to hand dry the dishes as Charlie was cleaning them.

"Interesting," he commented.

"What?" asked Luci.

"Muggle cleaning."

"Ah," she responded, and then looked around to make sure that no one was within earshot, before admitting, "Yeah, I prefer it."

He scoffed. "_Why?_"

She tilted her head thoughtfully. "It took me a long time to figure it out, but eventually, I realized that it made me feel more in control, like I could do a better job with my hands, instead of a stick."

"A _stick_?" he laughed.

"Yep."

"And the disillusioned friend? Is he a Muggle?"

Luci checked for a moment, gaped at him, and then answered slowly, "No."

"So what's wrong with him then?"

"Plenty. I mean. Not really _plenty_. He's just… too needy to date, I guess." She paused. "Oh, and I resent that last comment, as the only boy I ever loved was a Muggle."

"_Really_?" asked Charlie in obvious interest. He ceased commanding the sponge for a moment and turned to her. "What happened with that bloke?"

She looked at him steadily. Their conversation was so easy. She trusted him. She knew that she could tell him about Mark. But she hadn't talked about it, not really, not in depth, for a very long time…

"It was traumatic," she began hesitantly.

"I'm sorry," blurted Charlie then. "It's absolutely none of my business."

"Probably not," she smiled, "but I don't mind telling you."

"Tell away!" he urged her, and went back to scrubbing a stubborn casserole dish. She was drying the bowl that he had just sent her way.

"His name was Mark," she started again, resolutely, even though it still stung to remember it. "We were sixteen. We'd been friends for a long time. We worked together at a hardware store."

Charlie raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"Yeah, I know," she responded, "but it helped my mom pay the bills. Anyway, I was crazy about him, and finally, I just got tired of waiting, I guess, and I asked him out."

"_You_ asked _him_ out?" he gawped.

Luci shrugged. "I'm not a traditionalist. And it was either that or more helplessly hoping for something that might never come."

Charlie nodded in agreement.

"So, to my absolute astonishment, he agreed. And we had a date. And it was marvelous."

"You don't appear happy at the memory," he observed.

"If the memory had ended there, but it didn't. The second date was the worst thing imaginable."

"The worst thing _imaginable_?"

She smiled softly. "Yes. To a sixteen-year-old girl in love, yes."

He nodded again for her to continue.

"So we were walking home, after having dinner, and it was dark, and we were talking about this movie that we wanted to go see, and then this man, this huge man, came out from behind some bushes and approached us."

Charlie's brow furrowed, but Luci was all in and couldn't stop now. She went on, "And all of my defenses went up instantly, and I'll never forget him. He was tall and had light hair, but it was buzzed, and his eyes were… black, and he said, 'Give me your money,' and shoved a knife in our faces."

The man beside her gasped now, but she still kept on. She'd forgotten the dishes at this point and was simply staring at the floor, spilling, "And Mark started to move in front of me, but I feared so much for him, and even a little for myself, and something just kind of detonated, and the knife flew out of the man's hands and began stabbing him, repeatedly, and Mark was horrified, and… I didn't even have my wand! I don't even know what I was doing, but I knew it was me doing it, and I didn't stop. Not until Mark screamed, 'Monster!' and ran away from me. He ran away from me." She let out a tiny sob at this. "And I left the man there, bleeding, and I never saw him again, and I never heard from Mark again after that. He quit his job the next day and it was like he'd disappeared…"

Luci realized that her eyes had clouded with tears, and that Charlie had put down his wand, and was just standing there, listening to her. "I'm sorry," she spluttered. "I never tell that to _anyone_. You're just… so… I dunno… sympathetic?"

"Yeah," he said, barely audible. "You shouldn't have put yourself through that though."

She shrugged. "Eh, it's good to talk about things."

At that unsuitable moment, Arthur and the twins entered the kitchen.

"I think everything is back in place," announced Arthur.

Molly wandered in after him, shaking her wand in the air. She walked over to the sink and picked up a clean towel, asking, "Where's Percy? I wanted to give him that sweater."

"Haven't seen him since Luci broke his heart," said one of the twins.

"What?" spurted Luci. "I–"

"You weren't the first," chimed the other.

Molly's eyes had welled with tears. "He… he left without telling me?"

"Uh, oh," said a twin, and everyone in the room suddenly became very uncomfortable.

And then Molly Weasley was crying into her dishtowel. Luci wanted to join her, for entirely different reasons. Instead, since she happened to be standing nearest to the woman, she pattered her awkwardly on the back. Molly must have been terribly distraught, or she'd have otherwise swatted Luci's hand away, if her previous treatment were any indication.

Her youngest son and his friends had appeared in the house again, and Luci heard Ron say, "How thick can he be?"

Luci reached into the sink and filled a clean glass for Molly, as Ginny snarled, "Pretty damn thick."

"Take care of her for us, little bro," said one of the twins, and then they both disappeared from the spot.

Luci offered the water to Molly, but she sniffed, "I'm fine, I'm fine. I just need a nap. Stressful day, you know."

Then, as if they thought that Molly was too much to handle, people began Disapparating from the house, without a word. Luci backed away from her, thinking that she should go too, but Charlie seized her wrist. "It was _really_ nice to meet you."

"Likewise," she said, wishing she could have more time with him. It was like having a friend. And she knew that she should feel like she needed to explain why she was so over-emotional, but for some reason, she figured Charlie understood.

Molly and Harry were the only two left in the room with them, and the Weasley matron was going on about something, sniffling, then demanding, and then they were gone.

Charlie leaned in to Luci, his eyes sparkling. "Would you like to meet Bertha?"

Luci raised an eyebrow. "Another one of your girlfriends?"

Laughing, he shook his head. "The dragon."

She gasped. "Oh, god, are you kidding?" She'd only seen a few, during her Auror training, and they were, at the time, to be seen as enemies. "I would _love_ that!"

"Yeah?"

"Yes, pleeeeease," she nodded enthusiastically.

And then, instantaneously, they were reeling, with a rough landing in a clearing.

Luci bobbed her head to clear it, gathered her bearings, and then looked up into darkness…


	9. Chapter Nine: Dragons vs Cats

**Chapter Nine – Dragons vs. Cats**

The darkness was Bertha's emerald torso. Luci took an instinctive step backwards. The dragon was massive, covered in dark green scales, ominous and dominant, yet there was currently a very docile expression on her horned face.

Next to Luci, Charlie chuckled. "No need to be alarmed."

She glanced at him. "She doesn't know me. That's never easy for animals."

He cocked his head. "Did you learn that at the hardware store?"

"No!" she laughed. "I have a cat."

Charlie patted the dragon's underbelly and said, "Well, Bertha is _not_ a cat. Just give her a little rub around this area and she'll take to you in a flash."

Luci stepped forward again, tentatively, and caressed the area that Charlie had demonstrated to her. The scales were smooth and shiny, and Bertha made a strange sort of purring sound in response. Not terribly unlike a cat, in fact.

"See!" Charlie encouraged. "Best mates already!"

"Yes, we monsters have to stick together," Luci smiled softly.

He frowned. "You can't possibly believe that about yourself, just because one very frightened person said it a long time ago?"

She shrugged.

"So this… Mark guy? He didn't know you were a witch? He didn't even have a clue?"

"Nope. I fake the Muggle thing pretty well." Then something struck her. "You obviously know the truth about me, the Muggle born thing. So are you kind of part of the Order then?"

"Kind of," he answered. "Bill keeps me up to date, mostly through letters. But Tonks filled me in on you."

"Why?" fumed Luci suddenly, and then found her cool. "I mean, what was her motivation to fill you in on me?"

She didn't know why it had angered her. She supposed that she felt like she was trying so hard to keep this secret, to live this lie, and to have people nonchalantly going around spreading her story without her consent…

"I guess she thought we could be friends," Charlie suggested cautiously.

"Hmm."

"You don't agree?"

"Of course, I agree, you dork!" she said, as though it was obvious. "I'm telling you things that I never tell anyone. So… yeah, we must be friends already."

"We must be," he grinned.

"Me and Bertha too. What breed is she?"

"Longhorn, a native Romanian breed. We keep all sorts at the center, but Bertha here is definitely my favorite. Don't tell anyone though. Especially her. She tends to get a big head." He stroked one of her clawed arms affectionately, and she cooed at him.

Luci laughed. "I'm sorry, but you must not know much about cats, because I'm not really seeing many differences between my Persephone at home and your Bertha."

"Scales?"

"Yeah, maybe scales," she concurred. "But not much else."

"So that must mean that she's harmless and you're ready for a ride then?" teased Charlie, his eyebrows raised.

Luci narrowed her eyes sarcastically at him. "I didn't say she was harmless. God knows Persy isn't. But… yeah, okay, I think I could manage a ride. Not without you though."

"Of course not," he smiled, and then he gave Bertha a firm slap on the highest point of her neck that he could reach, and the dragon obediently lowered her head and crouched to the ground.

Charlie clambered onto her shoulder blades and reached out his hand to Luci.

She vacillated, and he prodded, "Come on, you're not afraid of a little kitty cat, are you?"

Shaking her head in defeat, Luci reached up, took his hand, and climbed her way up next to him. As she wrapped her arms around his waist, he asked, "You ready?"

And she could only nod, because the wind was knocked out of her as Bertha sprung forward and into the air. Luci closed her eyes on the swooping sensation in her stomach, and when she opened them, only a few moments later, they were high over the trees. The wind was in her hair, and her body felt weightless, and she suddenly burst into laughter.

"This is surreal!" she yelled to the back of Charlie's head.

He turned slightly. "Isn't it amazing?"

"Yes! Completely!"

She felt her body relax and she leaned her head into Charlie's back for warmth against the cold bluster of air. She took in everything around them – the scents, the different types of trees, how she could almost touch the startled birds scattering nearby, the feeling of scales beneath her legs, the way her arms tingled from holding on so tight, and even Charlie's messy hair blowing onto her forehead. Then she noticed that they were flying over cottages and sheep and those poor souls on foot.

"Can't the Muggles see us?" she screamed to Charlie.

He shook his head. "I always use cloaking charms, especially when we have to travel such a long distance."

Luci nodded in comprehension and went back to enjoying the sensation of soaring. She'd been so hopeless and lonely for so long, and now here she was, in the sky, with a beautiful creature and a potentially wonderful friend. Part of her kept reminding her brain that it would be over soon, and she'd be back in that gloomy house with people who hated her. But she pushed it aside and tried to live in the moment. She'd never been very good at it, but it was nearly impossible not to be alive in the here and now when the here and now was so physically intoxicating.

She wasn't sure how long Bertha carried them, but it certainly wasn't long enough. Before Luci was ready, the dragon was sailing towards the earth. When they touched down, her landing was not nearly as bumpy as Luci would have expected. Disappointed at the conclusion of their adventure, Luci allowed Charlie to help her down from Bertha's back. She stroked the dragon's neck in appreciation, and Bertha gave her a friendly blink.

"You were pretty quiet up there," Charlie interrupted. "Did you not enjoy it?"

Luci scrunched her nose at him. "Are you kidding? It was incredible, Charlie, thank you. I was quiet because I thought talking would spoil it. Or I'd lose my voice. Or I'd swallow a bug. The last one was compelling all by itself."

He beamed, glanced at his watch, and then his face dropped. "The two of us should be going. I have to work tomorrow."

"Oh. Of course. I should get back too. They'll all probably be waiting with torches to burn me at the stake."

Charlie threw a compassionate arm around her shoulders. "Give it time. They're all really top-notch folks. But in the meantime, stop letting what other people think of you affect how you think of yourself, alright?"

"Only if you'll stop being all wise and shit," she responded.

He laughed. Then his expression went grave. "Before you go, I have to ask… And it doesn't change anything, but I'm curious… That man, with the knife? Was he… did he… _live_, after… all that?"

Luci sighed. "Yeah. I read about it in the newspaper. I… regretted not killing him then, but I'm grateful now. I mean, I'm not sure I could carry that weight along with all of the other baggage."

"Baggage gives you character!" said Charlie, cheering up again and poking her in the arm. "Now get out of here. I'll make sure you Apparate safely before I'm off."

"Right."

"And it really was nice meeting you, Luci."

She grinned. "You too, Charlie. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

"Hey, I'll come 'round for Christmas, and if you're still at Headquarters, we'll take another ride," he suggested.

"I'd love it," she agreed. "And next time, I'll be a better listener. I've gone on and on all day and realized that I don't know a thing about _you_."

"I hadn't noticed that. But what do you wanna know?"

"I dunno." She paused. "Do _you_ have a dark, tragic background?"

"Well… I once had my nose broken in a fistfight with Bill when we were kids. Does that count?"

Luci giggled. "That can count. And what's it like to have four hundred siblings?"

Charlie threw his head back in a roar of amusement. Then he answered jovially, "It can be tough. Sometimes they break your nose."

"And the rest of the time?"

"It's pretty awesome," he said sincerely.

"Mmm. I wish I could feel that way about my sibling."

"Well, the Malfoys are pieces of work, but I hope you do. Someday."

"Me too," she replied with a tilt of her head. "And I guess I'd better get back to him. Fly safe, okay?"

"Will do," he said with a mock salute.

And then Luci focused on Grimmauld Place, reeled briefly, and found herself on the front step.

It was like walking out of sunshine and into gloom, and her mood instantly altered. Then she realized that, although this had been very, very good, this had been very, _very_ bad. She had left Draco and his mother alone all day. Terribly irresponsible. She should be fired, and figured that she most definitely would be, if there were anyone else willing to take this shitty job.

She entered the house quietly through the front door and tiptoed into the kitchen, trying not to disturb the portrait, and also not to draw any attention to herself.

It didn't work. All eyes went to the small frame in the doorway. She found, to her dismay, that she'd made it back in time for dinner.

Luci cleared her throat but didn't say anything. She merely walked in and plopped down next to her brother. She realized that she'd been grinning like an idiot, thinking about her afternoon with Charlie and Bertha, but the expression slid from her face pretty quickly upon arrival at the table.

"Where the hell have you been?"

She took a shallow breath and met Narcissa's gaze. "No need for language. And none of your business."

"It very well _is_ my business," she spat. "You have one duty and one duty only – to be here if Draco or I need you."

Her brother had yet to say anything, merely staring into his soup.

"It's about time," came a voice behind them. It was Molly. "If you aren't here to watch these two, I can't imagine what they might get up to." Her hands were on her hips, and she paused briefly before concluding, "Sounds like we need to talk."

Narcissa had shrunk in Molly's presence. Amusing. But as soon as the woman was gone, she growled, "Remember yourself, little girl. You have far too much to lose."

And down the table, Luci saw Remus's disappointed eyes staring in her direction. And she hated herself for letting him down. And he probably hated her too. Along with everyone in the room. All of the kids were also scowling disapprovingly at her.

She had to face it – the whole world was against her.

* * *

Later that evening, Molly Weasley showed up at Luci's bedroom door in a huff.

"Unforgivable!" she began immediately.

"I know, I know," moaned Luci. She didn't even feel like putting up a fight with this heinous woman. She was tired, and besides that, she knew that she was guilty and had no excuse for it.

"Apparently, you don't!" patronized Molly. "I never trusted you, but I thought you were at least a responsible adult! Now I realize that you're just a stupid child who goes off and does whatever she wants whenever she wants, and with _my_ son, no less!"

"Now wait a minute," Luci snarled, feeling fury boil to the surface. "First of all, _your son _invited me, and secondly, we just lost track of time. It was a mistake. And I'm sorry; it won't happen again. But it certainly wasn't on purpose, or because I forgot my responsibilities!"

Molly was growling softly. "And what, pray tell, were you _doing_ with my son?"

Luci scoffed, affronted. "I think Charlie would agree with me that it's none of your business. But because I have nothing to hide, I'll tell you. He took me for a ride on his dragon. Nothing else. We're _just_ friends. He is very happy with some chick named JoAnn."

The woman frowned. "Why don't I know about this _JoAnn_?"

Luci threw her hands into the air. "Hell, I don't know! Why don't you ask Charlie? Instead of just accusing people of shit all the time? Maybe you'd have time to _listen_ for once!"

"Watch your mouth," seethed Molly. "I am finished with this conversation, and I would prefer not to have it again. In the future, perhaps you could have a little consideration for someone besides yourself?"

Then she stomped out of the room.

"Well, I'm just a stupid child; I might forget!" Luci called mockingly after her, but the woman just kept going.

God, could Luci get along with _anyone_? At home, she made friends with everyone she met. Here, the lies were killing her. She'd lost Remus's trust, and she was still a little angry with Tonks, and Fleur and Charlie were both long gone. Now, she had no one left on her side.


	10. Chapter Ten: Stumble and Falter

**Chapter Ten – Stumble and Falter (corresponds with POTP Chapter 4)**

Luci woke up on the last day of July with her stomach in knots, and after some deliberation, realized that it was because she knew that she was going to have to approach Harry Potter and talk to him. She really hadn't spoken to him since the wedding, and now, she had no idea what she would say. It was time to give him Dumbledore's gift. But why would a stranger give him a birthday present? It was absurd. He would surely question her, and how should she answer?

Of course, when he opened it… He'd have many more questions. How and why did she know Dumbledore? How and why did she have a key to his office? How and why did she know how important their relationship was? This plan was useless. She'd just have to say as little as possible and get out of there as fast as she could.

By the time she'd straightened out all of the details in her head, she was late for breakfast. She had to walk down the entire length of the table to reach her little blonde posse.

On her way, she instinctively put a delicate palm to Harry's head and chirped, "Happy birthday, Harry!"

Then she retrieved her hand instantly, stunned by her own bizarre assumption of familiarity. It was how she would have touched a friend at home on their birthday. Why would she even presume to do it here? She hadn't meant to. And it was like she'd been electrocuted; every nerve was fizzing. He was going to yell at her for such a horrible overstep…

Instead, to her sheer amazement, he peered up at her, smiling. He didn't say anything, so she forced a similar expression in return and hurried down the table.

Why had she done something so _stupid_? And why didn't he bite her head off? There was no time to analyze now.

Draco was irritated by all of it and told Luci so with a glower as she sat down across from him.

"What's with that?" he demanded.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"You and Potter? Were you, like, running your fingers through his hair or something?"

Narcissa sniveled to Luci's left.

She could feel her cheeks burning, but she answered, "Of course not. I was just wishing him a happy birthday."

Her brother made a gagging sound. "_Every_ day might as well be Potter's birthday. He gets enough attention. And you should probably wash your hands."

Luci shrugged, ignoring the last bit. "Birthdays are special. I'll make a big deal out of yours when it comes, okay?"

Draco's nostrils flared. "You missed it. It was a few days after we came to this hell hole."

"Oh," she said softly and with more guilt than she should have felt. "I'm sorry. You didn't say anything."

"It doesn't matter," he snapped.

"Stop this," hissed Narcissa at the two of them. "You aren't supposed to be worrying about birthdays. Draco is supposed to be learning and _you_," – she gave Luci a revolted look – "are supposed to be staying out of everything else!"

Luci blinked at her. This woman was worried that her son might actually have a little fondness for his own sister, whether he knew it or not, and perhaps he unconsciously wished that she'd acknowledged his birthday. Luci almost laughed aloud at Narcissa's blatant fear and at her own tiny victory.

"I've never learned Charms so easily," contributed Draco, interrupting her thoughts.

And then he dug into a huge stack of pancakes and none of them said anything else to each other for the rest of the birthday meal, which turned out to be excellent, even though Luci hated giving Molly Weasley any kind of credit.

* * *

Luci was still feeling anxious all through that afternoon's lesson with Draco. They were going over the complicated method of creating Veritaserum. Luci enjoyed potions, because there was a certain amount of perfection required in order to get things right, and she loved perfection. Draco, however, had no interest whatsoever.

"Did you say to chop the root or shred it?" he mumbled as he worked.

She had been going over her future conversation with Harry about the gift. In her head, of course. Her brother's voice brought her back to the present, and she responded, "Neither. Grate it."

"_Grate_ it?" he frowned. "I'm looking at the book and it says to chop or shred, depending on potency."

"Yes," said Luci, "but trust me. Grating is a bit of a nice trick. You get a much smoother consistency and not even the most gifted wizard could tell the difference between the potion and water."

"Snape could," Draco sassed.

"Well, of course, _Snape_ could! But he's in a league all his own, I'd say."

Her brother's voice softened. "You think he's still with the Dark Lord?"

Luci nodded, not wanting to discuss it any further.

"Do you think they're getting an army together? To take back what's ours?"

"I don't know, Draco," she sighed.

"I hope so," he said. "The sooner we get out of this place, the better."

"Well, don't hold your breath. It could be awhile."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "What makes you say that?"

"Nothing. Just… try to adapt, okay? Make the best of it while we're here?"

"Sometimes, I think you're far too optimistic to be a Death Eater," her brother commented.

And if he hadn't been smiling slightly, Luci might have been unnerved. Instead, she replied, "If you don't watch the cauldron, that's going to boil over."

* * *

After dinner that night, Luci decided that she couldn't procrastinate any longer. She wouldn't find a better excuse to give this stupid thing to Harry. She had waited for this specific day, ever since she'd heard Hermione mention it. A better time wouldn't come. So she went to the room that he shared with Ron, but neither of them was there. She tried the kitchen and living area, and finally made her way up to the drawing room.

The door stood ajar.

"A?" she heard Ron's voice ask.

"Nope," replied Harry.

Why did she suddenly feel like throwing up?

With a hesitant peer into the room, she knocked quietly on the doorframe.

All three sets of eyes landed on her and her cheeks went warm.

"Sorry," she began, holding out the box. "A late birthday present."

Harry got to his feet and came towards her. He looked slightly suspicious but he didn't say a word. Then his hand touched hers as he retrieved the box, and Luci felt something stumble and falter inside of her. She almost staggered backwards from the sensation.

"What is it?" he was asking, and she guessed that he meant the gift, and not her preposterous jolt.

"I'm just the messenger," she managed vaguely.

"Thanks," was his quiet reply.

Astonished that he presented no further questions, Luci thanked her lucky stars and forced a smile. "Happy birthday… again."

Then she nearly ran back down the hallway, her heart pounding. What had just happened? Random hands touching… it occurred _all_ the time. But _this_ time… And this morning, in the kitchen…

She shook her head. It had been nothing. Static electricity, maybe. She pushed it away. Far, far away into the deepest recesses of her mind. She suddenly had to get out of this house, and reporting her successful delivery to Dumbledore was as good an excuse as any.

Luci rushed into her room, locked the door behind her, and pulled the Professor's Pass from the drawer of her desk. She'd never used it, so she hoped it would work. She Apparated from the spot and found herself standing outside the large gates of Hogwarts. It was just now growing dark, thanks to the long summer days, and Luci worried that she might be seen.

The school was currently inoperative for the summer, but she imagined that there would at least be a groundskeeper, and perhaps other people lurking about. Her best bet was to wait until the sun had gone down completely. So she crouched beneath a nearby bush and pulled her knees up to her chest.

She fixed her eyes upon the huge pigs that sat on either side of the gate, their wings spread slightly, and tried to keep her mind blank. She didn't want to think about it. Or him. Or even her desperate situation. She focused on humming to herself instead.

Despite her determination, the feeling was clear in her mind, and she found that it led her to thinking about Mark. Not the nightmare of their ending, but the splendor of the little bit of time that they'd had together. She could still almost see his face, his long dirty blonde hair falling into his eyes, his bright smile. He'd been almost as tall as Draco, but far softer, quicker to laugh, more joyful. She often wondered if she had ruined him that fateful night, if he no longer laughed so easily. If so, it would be a shame, because it was one of the things that she had loved most about him. He never took anything too seriously, the way that Luci did, and he had a way of helping her to keep things in perspective. But her favorite part was the electricity, the way that she felt alive when she was with him, the way that she wanted to be near him at all times, and the way that her skin sparked when they touched.

Just like it had sparked when she'd touched Harry.

"Ugh!" she growled aloud, and then looked around to make sure that she hadn't been heard.

Was it simply a physical chemistry, something rare that just happens every once in awhile and can be completely ignored? God, she hoped so. But if she was honest with herself, she knew that she'd found him attractive since the moment she'd met him. But that was all this was. She simply didn't find many people attractive, and hadn't touched someone she'd found attractive since Mark. It had been many years. Perhaps her body just wasn't accustomed to it.

"A mountain out of a mole hill," she told herself, knowing that she was overreacting. The problem was that she'd been allowed to sit here and mull it over in peace. And she was making too much out of it. She always did this. She overanalyzed. The truth was probably that it was nothing. Absolutely nothing. And she was going to forget that it ever happened.

Luci got to her feet. It was dark enough, she decided. She stepped up to the gate and stood there, holding the Pass out in front of her chest. Nothing happened. She hoped very much that she wasn't supposed to know a spell to activate this thing. She tapped the Pass firmly against the iron and it budged, only slightly, so she simply pushed inwards, and the gate gave way, creaking deeply. It was heavy, and she could only hold it open for long enough to slip her small frame through the crack. Once through, she took a relieved breath, let it close again behind her, and started towards the castle.

It was a long walk, longer than she'd remembered, but the scenery was beautiful. She was gazing around unhurriedly when she noticed a light go on inside of the castle, in one of the very high towers.

"Shit," she said aloud, and then hushed herself. This wasn't her only problem. She'd abruptly realized that she had absolutely no idea where the Headmaster's office was located. Severus had taken her there before, and she even remembered him telling her to pay attention, but now, she wasn't sure if she could find it on her own. So her options were to turn around and leave, or to wander through this massive place and hope that something looked familiar and that she didn't run into anyone. She didn't know why, but she chose the latter, as she'd almost reached the front doors anyway.

Once there, she tugged as hard as she could on the massive planks of oak, and they responded more smoothly than she would have expected. She found herself in the enormous front hall, lit only by a large torch over the entryway. She could see steps before her, but otherwise, everything was black. This would make it far more difficult to find the right office.

She took her wand from inside of her cardigan and instructed, "_Lumos_!"

_Now_ things looked a bit recognizable. The steps she'd seen were the huge marble stairs that she remembered taking with Severus. So she headed quietly up, holding onto the oak banister. She kept her wand to the ground, not wanting to feel those paintings staring at her again.

About halfway up, Luci heard a loud cackling above her. She started. And when she fearfully moved her wand to illuminate the space around her, something crashed into her chest and she went tumbling down the staircase.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Oxymoron

**Chapter Eleven - Oxymoron**

By the time Luci had landed, five steps down from where she'd been on the staircase, she could tell that her wrist was broken, because she could feel the bones relocating, trying to heal. She groaned in pain and a voice shrieked, "Intruder!" and then giggled.

Luci, dazed, got to her feet, found her wand a few steps down, wrapped both arms around the banister, and looked around in bewilderment.

"Who's there?" she insisted.

"Tis I!" laughed a voice from somewhere over her head. "Protector of the castle! No intruders allowed!"

"I'm _not_ an intruder!" Luci screamed back. "I have a Pass!"

The voice hooted curiously, and then said, "So you do! Why didn't you say so? Come on up!"

She clenched her jaw and began a slow descent up the stairs again. But within a few paces, a face appeared before hers and bellowed, "BOO!"

Luci screamed and instinctively ducked down and away. She could hear a pleased roar of laughter from somewhere nearby, but when she thrust out her wand to look, nothing was there.

She was near tears now. "Who _are_ you?" she choked. "I promise I don't mean any harm. I'm here with permission. I just want to do what I've come to do and get out of here! Please?"

There was no response. She sat on that step for a long while, trying not to cry. Eventually, an idea came to her. She extinguished the light from her wand and began to slowly and quietly crawl up the staircase in the dark.

She made it to the very top before the childlike voice remarked, "I can see in the dark, you know."

Luci squeaked, took a sharp breath, and asked, "Then _what_ are you?"

"I've already said – protector of the castle!"

"And _I've_ said that you don't have to protect anything from _me_!" seethed Luci.

"Hmph," pouted the voice.

She sighed in exasperation. "If you're going to be such a pain in the ass, you can at least show me where the Headmistress keeps her office."

A howl, and then, "Potty mouth! Potty mouth!"

"Oh, _please_," fumed Luci. "Fine, I'll find it on my own."

She lit up her wand again and looked around, turning a full circle. And there it was, to her right, quite a ways down the hall – the stone gargoyle that she recalled from her previous visit to the office. She hurried down to it before she could be further deterred and stretched the Professor's Pass out before it.

Then she remembered, much to her dismay, that Severus had used a password, which she did not have. "Shit, shit, shit," she swore aloud.

"That's not the password!" giggled that stupid voice again.

"Then what _is_?" raged Luci, to no one in particular, having come to the end of her rope.

She sat down in front of the gargoyle and put her head into her hands. She wished that she had the key that she'd just given to Harry. Then her stomach writhed at the thought of him and she huffed indignantly.

After a few minutes, she heard that irritating voice whisper, "Pumpkin juice."

"_What_?" she demanded. But behind her, she heard the promising resonance of stone against stone.

She leapt to her feet and held out her wand, only to reveal the spiral staircase that lead up to the office. She burst into a grin, cried, "Thank you!" to the voice that had been the bane of her existence, and literally bounded onto the first step. The rotation began immediately, carrying her upwards, and she exhaled with relief when she heard the gargoyle jump back into place behind her. Soon, she came to the door, whereupon, she didn't even bother tapping the knocker, as she didn't expect anyone to be occupying the room, and instead, just walked right in.

"Quite a ruckus you were making out there," came Professor Dumbledore's voice.

"It wasn't me!" whined Luci. "I don't know what it was, but my _god_, I barely made it in here with my life in tact!"

The portrait chuckled softly, and in that moment, Luci registered that it was only a portrait, and not the Headmaster she'd known. Something profoundly sad triggered inside of her. Yet, here he was, perfectly able to talk to her, and appearing to be in very good health. She marveled, "Wow, it's like you're still here, sir."

"In a manner of speaking," he acknowledged, with a wave of his good hand.

"Sorry about the noise," she said sheepishly.

His image shrugged. "Fortunate that Argus was not within earshot."

"Who?" asked Luci, taking a seat in front of the large dominating desk, and then, "Oh, is this okay?"

"Yes, yes, please," invited Dumbledore. "Argus Filch is the castle's caretaker."

"Oh, well, someone should inform him that this place has some pretty infuriating inhabitants."

Dumbledore smiled. "Peeves is an acquired taste, I'm afraid."

"_Peeves_?" repeated Luci. "Is he a ghost or something?"

"Precisely."

She sighed. "Might be time for an exorcism, sir."

"Don't know what we'd do without him," countered Dumbledore with a tilt of his head. "Now, to what do I owe the honor?"

Luci wavered, though she didn't know why, and then answered, "I just wanted to let you know that I gave Harry the key earlier today."

"A bit late, isn't it?"

She frowned. "No. I mean, I just met him a few days ago, and I thought his birthday was the perfect excuse, because otherwise, how would I explain it?"

"I see," nodded the portrait simply.

Luci blinked. "I'm sorry; was it not soon enough for you?"

He sighed softly. "Time is of the essence, and every minute counts. I need him to come see me promptly so that I may start him on his very long and difficult journey."

"Poor kid," she muttered, shaking her head, truly pitying him.

"Oh, he is _no_ child," corrected Dumbledore. "Harry is entirely capable and I have every faith in him. He merely needs a bit of guidance. I will provide what I can, and perhaps you might do the same?"

All of the sudden, Luci felt like she was a pawn in this game, being used for Harry's benefit. Resentfully, she shrugged one shoulder and, disregarding his request, responded, "Well, he'll be here soon, I'm sure. I should probably get back."

"How are other things?" the portrait inquired, as she had risen from the chair and turned towards the door.

"Fine."

"Have I offended you, Luci?"

She didn't know what to say. She ended up muttering, "Of course not," before closing the door behind her.

She'd received no thanks whatsoever for what she'd done thus far. It hadn't been easy, giving Dumbledore's gifts to a boy she didn't know and trying to look innocent. Did he think that she was here to do his bidding? Oh, god, she supposed that she was. That was how she'd ended up here in the first place. Why didn't she ever consider herself first? She'd be so much happier. And saner. And at home, with her friends…

Luci was halfway down the marble staircase, following the light of her wand, when that voice came again, "Find what you wanted, intruder?"

When he'd finished his haughty chortling, she replied, "Leave me alone, Peeves."

She heard the ghost take in a theatrical breath of air, as if stunned that she might know his name. After a few moments, he redirected, "You should be grateful! Never would have succeeded without Peeves."

"Yeah, well, a lot of people aren't grateful when they should be," she shot back sourly.

Luci was almost in the entryway by now. She hurried down the last few steps, just as he was teasing, "Always in such a bad mood, intruder."

She turned, just before the oak front doors, and spoke to the air above her. "It was nice meeting you, Peeves. Maybe we'll get along better next time."

Then she threw one of the planks open with all of her strength, tugged it closed behind her, and started marching away from the castle.

* * *

The next day had been scheduled for Apparition testing. A ministry official was coming by Headquarters to give the exam to Draco, as well as to Harry and Ron, who Luci assumed had also been too young the previous year. She wondered, upon hearing of this, how many people knew about this supposedly secret location.

As Luci was coming down the stairs later that same morning, feeling eager about the break these assessments would give her, she heard her brother hiss, "Can't stand up for yourself, I see."

"Now if you thought that was true, Malfoy, you'd have the guts to face me alone, but you never have, have you?" came Harry's voice, causing a wave of discomfort to pool in Luci's stomach at the memory of his touch, which she shoved aside. "Are you _lonely_ without your mates? I'm sure Crabbe and Goyle are lonely without _you_."

She turned the corner just as Draco went for his wand, and she scolded, "Don't even think about it."

He turned to her, and she went on, "I leave you alone for one second and you pick a fight with Harry?"

"How do you know he didn't start it?" glared her brother.

And Luci knew that either one of them was capable of starting something. So she gave each of them an appraising look and asked Draco, "Did he?"

"I'm tired of you babysitting me!" was his frustrated answer.

She sighed, slightly wounded. "Yeah, well, whose fault is it that you need a babysitter?"

Draco displayed a defiant stare. "I hate being here."

"I know you do," she said softly, feeling his pain, almost wishing that she could take it away. "But shall we discuss the alternative?"

He responded with a weak gesture of defeat, and she knew how powerless he felt, how trapped.

But she merely said to all of the boys, "Behave," and then added to her brother, "And go pass your test."

She continued on her way without making eye contact with Harry once. She was proud of herself.

Now was the time to call Kristen. Draco was distracted for a good while, and she could get out of the house, just hop down the street to the payphone…

"Hello?" came her best friend's voice.

"Oh, thank god I got you."

"Luci? What's wrong? Wow, it's really nice to hear your voice."

"Yours too. I can't even tell you how nice."

"I got your letters. I'm going to write back soon, I promise."

"It's okay," absolved Luci. "I'll just call when I can."

"It's just that I'm busy, you know? I'm with Maggie every night and–"

Luci huffed dramatically into the phone.

"Sorry," Kristen said. "I know you don't like her, but when you find the right person, you'll understand."

She sighed, this time away from the receiver so that Kristen couldn't hear her, and answered, "You know there isn't a 'right person' for me."

"Oh, Luci, it's just because you're so goddamn anal. Maybe you should try swinging the other way? Any hot girls there?"

She almost laughed. "Actually, yes, but she just got married."

"Ah, well, there's always Josh."

"Ick," Luci spat.

"Why not Josh? Because you don't want to rip his clothes off?"

"I've never wanted to rip _anyone's_ clothes off!"

Kristen was silent for a moment before suggesting, "Not even Mark?"

"Well, maybe Mark..." admitted Luci.

"Jesus H. Christ! You've _got_ to move on, Luci! Other fish in the sea, yada, yada."

"But they are ugly and old and stupid fish."

"Generally, yes. But that's only the male ones."

"Mmm."

"So no hot guys there either?"

Luci's pause prompted Kristen to exclaim, "Oh, there _is_, isn't there?"

"'_Are aren't_ there,'" corrected Luci.

"Who? Who?" hooted Kristen in the manner of Pigwidgeon, the owl that Luci often heard flapping around Ron's room.

She pursed her lips hesitantly, and then, "No one."

That was the truth. Sort of. Sensibly, Luci couldn't admit otherwise.

Kristen was babbling, "You're going to tell me eventually, so you may as well tell me now."

"There is nothing to tell."

A scoff. "I demand a list of all hot guys immediately."

"There isn't a _list_," Luci whimpered.

"I see. So who he is?"

She sighed in defeat. "It's nothing like that."

"Ooh," cooed Kristen. "You said in your letter that you'd met some old fogies from the Ministry and some family of red headed people and… Harry Potter!" She paused. "Wait. Is Harry Potter hot? That doesn't sound right…"

"Harry Potter is _kinda_ hot…" Luci trailed off weakly. What was she _saying_? She didn't wanna talk about this. She didn't even wanna _think_ this!

"Noooo…" Kristen was exaggerating.

"Mmm hmm," groaned Luci, feeling the heat on her face, even though Kristen couldn't see her. "I mean, platonically, of course."

"_Platonically_ hot? That's an oxymoron."

"Yes, well… So how's the whole gang there?"

"You're changing the subject."

"Damn right."

Kristen growled. "We're all fine here. Same as always. You're the one off living an interesting life."

"This is _not_ interesting, believe me."

"Dangerous criminals, mysterious relatives, creepy mansions, sexy celebrities. It all sounds pretty interesting to me."

"That's because you seem to think I'm in a movie. None of those things are even remotely glamorous."

"Not even sexy celebrities?" Kristen sing-songed.

"He is _not_ a sexy celebrity!"

"I was talking about Professor Albus Dumbledore. Who were you talking about?"

Luci snarled softly and Kristen laughed.

"It's _okay_ to find someone attractive, Luce. It's _normal_, in fact. I know you try not to be normal but–"

"I do not _try_!" seethed Luci. "And it may be normal but it's not okay."

"Why not?"

"Because… I don't know hardly anything about him, he hates my entire family, and there are so many other reasons, and _still_, I… I feel off balance…" Luci stopped. She shouldn't have said any of this aloud. It didn't make any sense.

Kristen had kept going. "Wow, Luci, I haven't heard this tone in your voice since–"

"God, I need to get off this thing," she cut her off, pressing the backs of her cold hands to her hot cheeks.

"Okay, go make out with Harry Potter."

"_Kristen_, it's not like that. He's, what, seventeen?"

"Ew, you perv."

"I said he was attractive, that's all. You asked if anyone was attractive. He is. No one else is. Maybe a couple of Weasleys but I nev–"

"What's a Weasley?"

Luci laughed. "I have to go."

"That's not all you said."

"What?"

"You _said_ - all you said was that he was attractive, but that's _not_ all you said."

"Kristen…"

"Well, _I'm_ just saying… maybe… enjoy being off balance for once. You deserve it."

"I don't, and you know it, and I have to go."

Her best friend sighed spectacularly and gave in. "Okay, call me again soon, okay?"

"I'll try. Love you."

"Love you too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

When Luci returned to the house, the portrait was screaming, and so, it seemed, was everyone else.

Apparently, Harry was very good at Apparition. So good at it, in fact, that he was no longer anywhere to be found.

"Yes, but is Draco any good?" asked Luci in response to Hermione's explanation.

The brunette girl gave her an exasperated glance, said, "How should I know?" and stomped away.

It eventually turned out that Harry had merely missed his mark and ended up in a field somewhere before safely Apparating back to Grimmauld Place. But the entire uproar proved to Luci how very important this boy was to everyone around her, and she now truly understood why Draco found all of it so nauseating.


	12. Chapter Twelve: Stupid Little Beat

**Chapter Twelve – Stupid Little Beat (corresponds with POTP Chapter 5)**

A few days later, Luci had another surprise visit. She had changed into her pajamas and was just crawling into bed when the fireplace popped, and a severe voice inquired, "Miss Keegan?"

Luci nearly exclaimed, but bit down on her tongue. Then she shook her head at him, wrapped a blanket around her barely-clad body, and strolled over to sit next to the hearth.

"Severus," she acknowledged. "How goes Death Eating?"

He scoffed and answered, "I thought you wanted each of us to mind our own business?"

"Indeed, I did. So what brings you to my fireplace?"

"I always find it interesting to hear what Potter is up to," his head replied with a sneer.

"I wouldn't know," Luci said. "He keeps to his kind, and I keep to mine."

"The kind you're keeping to is not your own."

"You don't have to remind me," she spat.

"As long as that doesn't get around…" he trailed off.

"Severus," sighed Luci, "why do you find it so improbable that I can handle things just fine on this end?"

"It is not your capability that I doubt. I am concerned with Hermione Granger's clever perception."

She pursed her lips. "Somehow, I don't believe you. But what do you mean?"

"Those three brats seem to always discover knowledge that is meant to be kept… undisclosed, and it is my job to ensure that you are doing everything in your power to conceal such knowledge."

He seemed bored, but Luci pried, "Hermione and… Ron and Harry?"

"Quite," he burred. "I see you're on a first-name basis?"

She ignored him and fumed, "Well, let me put your mind to rest. No one suspects a thing. I don't talk to _any_ of them. I see the Order at meetings only. And Draco is making tremendous progress with his class materials. If I do say so myself, I'm doing a really fucking superb job pretending to be someone I'm not, and you have no reason to be concerned about anything."

She gave him an insolent scowl, he jeered in amusement at her frustration, and she huffed.

"Very well," he said, like he always did. "Nothing further to report then?"

"Oh, and everyone hates me, you'll be thrilled to hear, just like I really am a Death Eater. Now, are you gonna tell me what shenanigans _you've_ been up to?"

There was almost a twinkle in his eye, but he merely concluded, "Good evening, Miss Keegan," before disappearing.

Luci stomped back to her bed and threw herself beneath the covers, growling aloud.

_God, what an infuriating man! I'd like to just punch him in that arrogant face and…_

She sighed aloud. She couldn't think of many people that she _didn't_ want to punch in the face right now, and she figured pretty much everyone felt the same way about her.

* * *

August was dragging by very slowly. All of the Malfoys were still pretty much keeping to themselves, and so, it seemed, were the Hogwarts students and the members of the Order. This was just fine with Luci, because she intended to avoid Harry entirely until he went back to school. And it wouldn't be long. She had done remarkably well.

Meals had been her only concern. Most of the time, she would chat with Draco, and on a rare occasional visit, her beloved Fleur. But other times, his laugh would pierce her ears and she would find herself briefly captivated before prodding Draco for information about Quidditch to take her mind off of it. Luci thought that the sport was so unbelievably dull that she could vomit, but her brother loved it, and he would happily describe his past games to her in detail. But even after all of her feigned listening, she didn't think she'd be able to repeat any of it.

At night, when everyone had gone to bed, Luci had begun to find that sleep was eluding her. So she'd taken to reading in the drawing room, where she had the space to spread out multiple books at once and could keep the light on early into the morning hours without anyone noticing. And though she had devoured dozens of books, she still felt no more capable of protecting her brother than she had when she'd arrived here.

This particular evening, she was skimming through a book called _Advanced Protective Spells_, and she'd just come across a lovely incantation that claimed superior protection. However, it could only be forged between two people who loved each other. That was certainly not the case for Luci and Draco, and it never would be. Nonetheless, she was memorizing it, just for safe-keeping, and chanting aloud, "_Eleka nahmen nahmen ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen…_"

Out of nowhere, she heard a floorboard creak spookily and she jumped, turning in fear.

And though it was only Harry, the rush of adrenaline refused to subside.

She called his name uncertainly.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"No, it's okay. Come on in." She waved her hand in invitation. She didn't want company, but she knew that this was his house, and she wasn't about to prevent him from coming and going as he pleased.

Harry pivoted and, to her surprise, came into the room and seated himself on the empty couch. One of her late nights of studying had never been interrupted before, and she found she begrudged it. For more reasons than one.

Still, wondering why he was up so late, she asked, "Can't sleep either?"

He shook his head, but didn't meet her eyes. She realized that her feet were in view and suddenly wished that she'd accepted all of Fleur's offers for pedicures.

"Do you want me to make you some tea or something?"

She didn't know why she'd asked. It was what would help her sleep, if she were capable.

"No, thank you," he answered, and he met her eyes for the first time in so long that she couldn't remember, bringing back that discomfort she thought she'd been rid of. "What are you reading?"

"Oh, I'm just refreshing my memory on some things," she replied. She wondered if her face was as red as it felt.

Harry nodded, but she couldn't read his expression. He seemed uneasy. Certainly, he didn't trust her, and she thought to herself that he probably shouldn't anyway.

"But it's also a dreadfully boring book and should help me to fall asleep," she adding, hoping to lighten the mood. God, she was such an idiot.

He fumbled with his hands, pressing his fingernails into his palms, looking away again. She thought it was totally adorable and castigated herself.

"You are a man of few words, Harry Potter," she forced herself to laugh, and assuming that he was not here for conversation, she turned back to her book to distract herself.

But then he spoke up again. "Can I ask you something?"

The tone of his voice made her feel unexpectedly as though she would tell him anything. And despite the fact that she feared his question, she closed the book and said, "Of course."

"How well do you know Draco Malfoy?"

_Shit_, she thought. This was what she'd dreaded, and she knew that it couldn't possibly be a safe topic. After a moment of consideration, she decided upon a vague but truthful answer.

"He's really not that bad, Harry. He's made mistakes, just like the rest of us."

Not surprisingly, he twitched in irritation. "Everyone seems to want to defend that slime."

Luci winced at the comment, and she wasn't sure why.

"Sorry. I hate him," Harry was saying, but he didn't sound sincere in regard to the apology.

She shook her head. "He isn't too fond of you either. He's combative; you have a temper. It's no wonder the two of you can't get along."

"You think _I _have a temper?"

She _knew_ he had a temper, so she glanced significantly at him.

"Yeah, okay, but he provokes me."

"I have no doubt."

"So you expect me to just put up with him and let him stay in _my_ house?"

Luci frowned, averse to wandering into dangerous territory.

"Do you have any idea the things I've taken from him?" continued Harry, when she'd simply looked at him.

She had heard numerous stories, mostly from Draco himself. But it didn't bother her, what these two boys did with their anger towards one another.

"Yes, I do, actually, and I know the things that you've done right back to him. You're not innocent."

Harry's mouth went agape, and she sighed remorsefully. "Listen, I understand that you're upset about him being here, and I want you to know that I'm keeping close watch on him. He isn't a threat to anyone. He's scared and alone and you're doing a good thing by letting him and his mother stay here." She paused, swallowed hard. "And me."

"No one really asked me."

_Ouch_. Should it really hurt that much to hear it?

"I know," she managed, "but you haven't kicked us out, and that says something wonderful about you."

"It's what Dumbledore would have wanted," he shrugged. "If that weren't the case, I _would_ kick _them_ out."

_Them_? What did _that_ mean? She'd have to scrutinize every single word later. For now, she responded, "Somehow, I doubt that." Then she hesitated, and momentarily, went on, "He would be very proud of you, you know. Dumbledore, I mean. For this, and for… lots of things."

Harry looked down at his lap, and then said in a vulnerable tone that stunned her, "I miss him."

Suddenly, she wanted to hug him, and she didn't understand it. So she simply sighed, "I know you do. We all do."

"You knew him too?" Harry asked, meeting her gaze, curious.

He still hadn't opened her birthday present. She felt slighted, but she nodded and answered, "Certainly not as well as you did, but he was good to me."

"He was good to everyone," Harry said bitterly. "Even people who didn't deserve it."

Was he implying that _she_ didn't deserve it? A flash of anger sparked, but she pushed it away and said instead, "Perhaps he knew something about those people that you didn't know."

Harry cleared his throat. "So what brought you all the way here from your Ministry?"

"Oh…" she said, taken aback by the change of subject. She'd have to make this indistinct, quick, uninteresting. "Well, what's going on here affects all of us, and they basically wanted someone to report back to them and keep them informed."

"But you're an Auror, right? Wouldn't they give you a little more responsibility?"

"I'm here to help, as well," she smiled. "We Aurors are great at multi-tasking."

"I think I'd like to be an Auror."

"You'd be terrific at it."

She meant it. She could see it in him. Or maybe Dumbledore was the one who could see it in him…

"If I live to see the end of this year, that is," he went on, confounding her further.

"You _will_ live to see it," scolded Luci hastily. She needed him to defeat Voldemort so that Draco would be safe and she could go home.

"How do you know?"

"I have a feeling," she said, but it sounded more like a question. She regrouped and continued, "You didn't survive in the first place to die in the end."

Harry paused thoughtfully. "Well, one of us did – me or Voldemort."

He was being unexpectedly candid, and Luci didn't know what to make of it. She was unnerved by his presence, yet, she wanted him to confide in her even more so, and yet again, she knew that she shouldn't know him any better than this.

"The Prophecy?" she asked, though she knew the answer.

He nodded, a sad expression on his face.

She shook her head, and found herself saying again, in her mind, _Poor kid_, and then remembering Dumbledore's words and, more than that, his conviction.

"His name doesn't bother you?" asked Harry, pulling her from her thoughts.

"Who? Voldemort?"

"Yeah."

She shrugged. "No, his name doesn't really have the same stigma in my country. I guess it's just not as close to home. It's really only a word anyway, isn't it?"

"Yes, it's only a word," he agreed.

"Voldemort _will_ be looking for you, especially now that no one stands in his way, as far as he's concerned. That's why you're safest here and at Hogwarts."

"I'm leaving tomorrow," he said suddenly.

Luci frowned. Why on earth was he telling her this? "May I ask why?"

A few moments passed, and he had yet to answer, so she spewed quickly, "It's none of my business. I shouldn't have asked."

Harry finally looked up. "No, it's just that–"

"It's okay. No one will hear from me that you're leaving, but you don't have to tell me your reasons. We hardly know each other."

He glanced at his hands again.

"You're going by yourself?"

A nod.

"No Ron? No Hermione? Not even Ginny?"

A shake.

"All right, I can see that you don't want me asking questions," she gave up.

"It's just so much pressure," he blurted abruptly. "Dammit."

Luci was floored. She said hesitantly, "Whatever it is, you don't have to do it alone…"

"Yes, I do," he said firmly.

"Why?" she asked. She would never do anything alone, if she could help it, and she didn't understand why anyone else would either.

"When I care about people, terrible things happen to them. If everyone stays away from me, they'll be safe."

Luci's mouth fell open at this, but Harry had already stood hurriedly and stepped towards the door.

She stood too. "Harry."

He turned back to face her, and her stupid little heart skipped a stupid little beat. She ignored it.

"This is war," she said, in the gentlest tone that she could muster. "There are casualties, and they've happened to be people that you loved, but, in _no_ way is any of it your fault. You need to know that. You can't walk around with that kind of guilt inside of you."

Harry simply muttered, "Thanks," and continued out onto the landing.

"If there's anything that I can do for you, you'll let me know?" she called, moving after him.

He appeared to nod, but had kept walking.

"Oh, and Harry?"

He finally turned again, and Luci could feel it – something had changed between them.

"Be careful," she almost whispered.

His brow furrowed, as if he wondered why she cared enough to say such a thing. She wondered, herself.

And then he was gone.


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Defense

**Chapter Thirteen – Defense (corresponds with POTP Chapter 7)**

During the few hours that Luci slept that night, she dreamt that she was back home in Arizona, with her mother and her friends and Persephone. At first, she had been happy, and there had been a huge welcoming party and lots of chocolate cupcakes, and she'd eaten five of them. Then it had hit her that she felt empty inside, and she suddenly wanted to go back to Europe. Her mother had asked her why and she had responded, "I miss my brother," and hadn't been the least bit surprised at her own answer. "Is he the _only_ one you miss?" Kristen had inquired, and Luci had replied, "No, he's not the only one."

The next morning, Luci awoke to an outrageous amount of noise downstairs. She blinked, frowned, and then hastened from her bed and into yesterday's clothes.

Downstairs, she discovered that Harry had disappeared in the night, and no one knew where he'd gone, and every single one of them was behaving like a chicken with its head cut off. Everyone except for Ron and Hermione, who Luci witnessed murmuring conspiratorially to each other in a corner of the kitchen.

All of the members of the Order were summoned with amazing speed, and everyone was discussing the best places to look. Tonks suggested that maybe he'd been practicing Apparition and ended up in that field again.

Around this time, Draco and Narcissa wandered into the kitchen and sat down at the table, as if expecting their breakfast.

After a moment, Draco looked up at Luci and grinned. "Potter's gone? Here's hoping he was eaten by a werewolf!"

"Don't say that!" shushed Luci.

"Why not? I thought you hated him too?"

"I… um..." She looked around the room but no one was paying the least bit of attention to the Malfoys.

"I do," she went on, "but I don't like wishing death upon people."

Her brother shrugged. "Some people need a little death to humble them, and none more than Potter."

Luci almost argued that he was very humble indeed, but she stopped herself and muttered instead, "Maybe death is a little harsh for learning humility. You'd never get to practice your new skill."

"Whatever," burred Draco. "What's to eat?"

"I think that's the least of Molly's worries right now. I'll give you one thing – the drama in this house when it comes to Harry is absolutely absurd. They act like he's the Crown Jewels!"

"Didn't I tell you?" said her brother.

"Well, if there's no food," chimed in Narcissa, "then I'm going back to bed. Tell these fools to keep the noise down, if you're good for anything."

Draco shook his head. "I'll never understand why my mother has such a fondness for you."

Luci chuckled. "Yeah, I can't imagine what I've done to get into such good graces with her."

"Ignore her. She doesn't know how cool you are."

She gawked at her brother for a moment, and he turned his eyes away. She replied softly, "Thank you; you're pretty cool yourself."

"Yeah?" he asked, looking up at her.

"Yeah," she grinned. "Now, what do you want to eat? I'll make something for you."

"Tomatoes and sausage and bacon and eggs and toa–"

"I'll see what I can come up with," she cut him off with a laugh. Then Luci ignored the rest of the kitchen's inhabitants and cooked just for the two of them.

By the time she was putting the tomatoes and eggs on the table, most everyone had left the house on some particular route to look for Harry. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had gone upstairs to pack, since they were starting school the next day. Molly Weasley had glowered at the two blonde siblings, huffed angrily at their food, and been the last to leave the room.

"Wow, a meal in peace," commented Draco.

"Rare, indeed," agreed Luci.

He took a bite and marveled, "Hey, you're good at this. Cooking."

"Thanks," she smiled. "I think it helps not to use magic."

"Where did you learn to cook without magic?" he asked suspiciously.

_Shit._ There was no answer she could give that wouldn't cause him to doubt her. Even if she said that she had a Half-Blood friend who'd taught her or something, it would still look bad. She was only supposed to congregate with Pure Bloods.

"Well?" he prodded.

She swallowed. "Read about it?"

"Oh," he accepted with a nod. "Generally, I think magic should be used for everything, but I think I can make an exception for cooking."

"That was my line of thinking too," she lied, grateful that she was such an avid reader that he hadn't questioned her for a single second.

"Maybe you could teach me," he went on.

"To _cook_?"

"Sure. Maybe it'll impress Pansy."

"Who's Pansy?" she asked.

"My girlfriend back at school," he replied casually. "I mean, she was, before all of this happened. I can get her back though."

Luci had nearly choked on her bite of egg, but managed, "I'm sure you can."

She'd had no idea. But it made him seem like such a normal teenaged boy…

She couldn't help encouraging, "Tell me about her."

He shrugged. "She's… suitable for me. We have the same backgrounds and values."

"So it's a passionate affair?" teased Luci.

Her brother narrowed his eyes. "Never mind. It's none of your business."

"You're right," she concurred. "I just think you ought to… broaden your criteria?"

"Oh, like you do? By disappearing with Weasleys?"

"Hey, he's a Pure Blood. Besides, we were just hanging out, nothing romantic."

She probably shouldn't be telling Draco any of this. But their relationship had changed, and she found that they were discussing more and more topics that she would have deemed inappropriate in the beginning.

"Sure, sure," her brother had continued. "What d'ya say we go upstairs and tell the Weasley girl that Potter's dead? See if she cries?"

"Draco!" Luci scolded, but she couldn't help grinning. Then she added, "As much fun as that sounds, we have better things to do."

"Like what?"

"Like you tell me more about this Pansy chick."

"Naw. I'm a little shy about our passion."

Luci laughed. "Come on, let's go hit the Magical Creatures books."

Her brother groaned but followed her back up to his room.

By the time evening had rolled around, shortly after dinner, all of the Order had reassembled in the kitchen, and Luci had been begrudgingly invited. She was just sitting there listening.

From what she could decipher in between all of the arguing, panicking, and domineering, no one had located Harry.

She considered informing these people that Harry seemed perfectly capable of taking care of himself and perhaps they could avoid developing such high blood pressure over all of this. But it would have been in vain. Molly Weasley was especially frightened and appeared to have rubbed off on several people who were usually quite rational.

There was no end in sight, so Luci eventually snuck back upstairs and pretended to go to bed. She had been reading by wand light for a very long time when the commotion in the kitchen finally calmed.

Early the next morning, however, it was in full uproar again, as there was still no sign of their darling Harry. Breakfast was forgotten once more and people were scrambling frantically all over the house.

Half of the clamor was Ron, Hermione, and Ginny trying to get out on time to catch the Hogwarts Express. Ron and Hermione both still looked perfectly resolved. But Ginny was crying to her mother that she couldn't possibly go without knowing if Harry was okay.

Luci couldn't help but join Draco in laughing at all of them. "Like mice in a maze," observed her brother.

As the afternoon approached, everyone was out again, resuming their frenzied searching. Tonks had stayed home with Molly, in hopes that Harry might reappear. Alastor had returned from dropping the kids off for the train, and now the three of them were huddling in the kitchen. The Malfoys were in their designated areas upstairs. Luci and Draco were taking a break and playing a hand of cards when they heard Mrs. Black's painting reel into a shrieking fit.

"Damn haunted house," complained Draco.

"I'll go see what's going on," sighed Luci, getting up and heading out to the landing.

There seemed to be a lot of disorientation downstairs and no one had silenced the painting yet. Luci took the stairs two at a time toward the entryway to the house.

Molly, Alastor, and Tonks were clustered around something, and Luci bellowed over the screaming, "What's going on?!"

Tonks turned to her with an anxious expression, answered, "Harry's back!" and stepped away.

He was unconscious on the floor and Luci frowned, "How'd he get here?" But no one could hear her. She retrieved her wand and thrust it at that ridiculous painting, and it went mute instantly.

Alastor had a strange look in his eyes, and he was instructing, "I'm going to carry him upstairs. Can the three of you bring up some bandages, hot tea, salves, and anything else we may need? And contact the rest of the Order."

"I'll do the last part," offered Tonks, and she was gone.

Molly glanced at Luci. "Guess you'll have to assist me. Sorry for the _inconvenience_," she scorned.

"Oh, shut up," spat Luci, and she went into the kitchen to look for the things that Alastor needed. She knew exactly where to find the tea and swiftly put on the kettle.

After a few minutes, Molly said, "I'm going to take these medical supplies up. Make it quick with the tea."

Luci didn't respond.

It was a few moments later when she was pulling out a tray to carry her utensils and Remus and Kingsley popped into the kitchen.

"In his room," she explained, and they were gone.

By the time Luci could follow them up, she found the space packed, as Bill and Tonks were also present. She went to the other side of the bed, to the only place where someone wasn't standing pryingly over him. As she put the tray on the adjoining table, she realized that she was uncomfortably near to Harry's head. Molly was in the chair opposite, bandaging his hand and didn't seem to be paying attention to Luci's presence. So Luci looked down at Harry and studied his face. She'd never had the chance before, and she decided that she thought he was kind of… beautiful… close up. Someone had changed him into his pajamas, and his hair was thick and matted against his forehead. She instinctively reached down to sweep it back.

At this moment, his green eyes opened, and he snatched her hand. She gasped, her own eyes wide with surprise and fear. She'd been caught touching him, yet again, and she could only blurt, "Sorry, I was just… your hair was in your face…"

She was hot with humiliation, but his expression softened slightly, and he replied, "I didn't know it was you."

Luci furrowed her brow, confused. Was he delirious? Did he think that she was Ginny?

Then Molly broke in with, "How are you, Harry, dear?"

In response, Harry slowly sat up. "Er… I'm all right."

"I found you in the entryway," said Alastor. "Where the hell have you been?"

Luci saw Harry turn to her and give her an appreciative smile. But she was still overcome and didn't know what was going on.

Suddenly, Tonks spewed, "Luci, you _knew_ about this?"

Caught off guard, Luci merely stared at her and managed, "I…"

But Harry jumped in, "It's not her fault. I didn't tell her where I was going."

She gaped at him and didn't turn her gaze away, even when Remus replied, "It's not about that, Harry! We were all worried sick about you!"

"Remus looked _everywhere_ for you! And poor Ginny!" added Tonks. "We could hardly get her onto the Hogwarts Express this morning!"

Harry said sheepishly, "I'm sorry," right before Molly railed, "What do you have to say for yourself, Luci?"

Once again, Luci could only stand there. Her eyes briefly went to Harry's and he looked remorsefully back. Finally, she found her voice and answered quietly, "Harry's of age… and so am I, for that matter."

"Hardly!" shrieked Molly, and Luci scowled hatefully at her.

"This is inexcusable, Miss Keegan," cut in Alastor, and she could hardly believe this barrage of attackers. "Harry's life was at risk!"

Beleaguered and lost, Luci managed to stutter, "I'm sorry," though she didn't even know what she was apologizing for. She just wanted everyone to stop yelling at her.

"It's really not her fault," Harry came to her rescue again, and she shook her head in mystification.

Molly was standing now and had her hands on her hips. "It was her responsibility to inform us of anything that could harm you, including the fact that you were planning to run off by yourself to who knows where!"

"I'm not a kid anymore!" Harry exploded suddenly. "And you can't take this out on Luci!"

Feeling as though the world no longer made any sense, Luci slammed her eyes shut.

"Harry, I never…" Molly puffed pathetically.

"Sorry," exhaled Harry. "Look. It's no one's job to protect me anymore. I've faced Voldemort plenty of times and been fine, and I'll do it again. _This_ was no big deal!"

Not a single person seemed to have a response to his declaration. A few moments went by before Luci was able to find the strength to leave them. There were no protests.

She hurried back to her room as quickly as she could. She felt like a child, stripped of her pride, berated, judged. She couldn't ever remember being so angry.

With her door secured, she slammed her fist into it, once, twice, three times. Blood splattered everywhere, but she kept going, until the fury subsided. No one seemed to have noticed her outburst, so she sat down on the floor and waited for her bones to reposition and her skin to extend over her knuckles again. She hissed at the pain and ignored the tears of rage flowing down her cheeks.

After a long time, she began to feel relatively calm again. She had started to clean up the blood, and this was when it occurred to her - Harry Potter had defended her honor. She hadn't earned that of him at all, and yet, he'd thought that it was simply enough that she'd kept his secret. It had been such a noble thing to do, to be the only one in the room on her side, and at this insight, Luci felt sort of tingly all over.

"What was all that noise yesterday?" asked Draco the next morning on their way upstairs from breakfast.

She didn't know why he hadn't asked her last night, when they'd had dinner together. Perhaps he thought it more prudent to ask in private. In any case, Luci feigned ignorance and replied, "What noise?"

"Coming from your room," he clarified. "It sounded like you were moving furniture."

"The desk," Luci answered quickly, latching on to his assumption. "I dropped something behind it."

"Did the desk kill your puppy?"

"What?" she frowned.

"It sounded like you were being pretty rough on it," her brother said with a teasing smile.

"I couldn't get it back into place," she countered matter-of-factly.

"Uh huh… and the truth would be?"

"Let it go, Draco."

"Batting practice? What the _hell_ were you doing?"

"Nothing, okay?" she blurted.

Then her eyes fell on Harry, watching them at the end of the hall. She shushed Draco and then, at the miserable expression on Harry's face, asked a little too worriedly, "Are you okay, Harry?"

Draco snarled next to her, and Harry answered icily, "Fine."

"Go ahead and start without me," Luci instructed her brother. "I'll be right there."

With a bitter look at her and a glower towards Harry, Draco disappeared into his room. She was surprised at his obedience and knew she'd probably pay for it with an interrogation later.

Luci approached Harry timidly. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said again, just as indifferently as before.

And for some reason, it hurt her. Yesterday, he'd been her defender, and now…what?

Before she could stop herself, she'd whimpered, "You're lying to me." Why the hell did she _care_ if he lied to her?

He didn't respond, but she held his gaze, trying to figure out what he was thinking, why he was so hot and cold. Eventually, she went cold herself and said nonchalantly, "If you won't tell me, you should at least tell _someone_."

Harry made a defeated little motion with his arms, and she grew warm again.

She proposed helpfully, "Remus?"

And his face lit up optimistically. It was the best she was going to get out of him today, so she smiled in reply and turned to join her brother in his room.

"Wait."

Luci pivoted, heartened, and advanced towards him again. She didn't know what she hoped he'd say.

"I'm sorry that I got you into trouble," Harry offered slowly.

She half-smiled. "Don't worry about it."

"They seemed pretty mad at you," he said with a puckered brow.

Luci remembered very well. But she also remembered the disgrace of all of it, and there was no way that she was going to let him see how much it had damaged her ego. So she shrugged and covered, "They'll get over it. And they don't have any authority over me, so I'm not bothered by it, and you shouldn't be either."

"Well," Harry started awkwardly, "thank you for not telling anyone that I was leaving."

A thank you! Grateful for some much needed gratitude, Luci put her hand on his arm and assured him, "Wouldn't of dreamt of it," before turning on her heel and rushing into Draco's room.

It was fail-proof; every single time she touched him, her skin prickled blissfully. There was simply nothing she could do about it. It was pheromones or something. But it didn't mean anything more than that, she told herself, just as Draco snapped, "How's Potter? I mean, I'm trying to be as concerned for him as you are, but somehow, it just escapes me."

Luci gave him a sarcastic shake of the head and responded, "He's injured. Next time you're injured, I'll be sure to show lots of concern."

"It would make _sense_ for you to show concern for _me_," Draco observed, "but showing concern for _him_ is dense. And kind of dodgy, actually."

She narrowed her eyes at her brother. "Why does it make any more sense to show concern for _you_? What are you to me, after all?"

Draco frowned, and she could swear that a little color rose into his cheeks. "A friend?" he questioned meekly.

She blinked at him and opened her mouth to respond, but he blurted, "Shut up. Never mind. It's stupid. You're right. I'm nothing to you. But neither is Potter. Stop being all motherly to everyone, will you? God, it's so fucking annoying."

Staggered, Luci merely nodded.

"I'm going to the toilet," he grumbled, and then he left the room and slammed the door.

She sat in the desk chair and waited for him to come back. Meanwhile, she went over everything he'd just said in her mind. He thought of the two of them as friends. It was… huge. It changed everything. And when she hadn't jumped to concur, he had gone on the defense to protect himself. It was so unbelievably endearing. And the fact that she felt that way disturbed her deeply. Because he'd accused her of being motherly towards him, but she was being _sisterly_, just like a sister would be if she… loved her brother…

_Oh, god. I can't love my brother. I can't! What is happening to me? I'm falling apart!_

Finally, after twenty minutes, Luci gave up on him returning and sauntered wearily back to her own bedroom with her newfound burden.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Vulnerability

**Chapter Fourteen – Vulnerability (corresponds with POTP Chapter 8)**

Luci was starting to accept it. But it had taken a couple of days of berating herself and reminding her heart that Draco had very bad blood and was vindictive and vengeful and all sorts of other horrible things. Eventually, though, she realized that she didn't believe any of it. She thought that he was simply wounded and vulnerable, and half the time, he didn't even show it, because he was funny and clever and even a little affectionate.

She _loved_ her brother. She had tried desperately not to, she really had. But she was giving up.

Now she had to focus on controlling these emotions, just in case there came a time when she actually had to protect him. She knew that she wouldn't be able to think straight if she let her love for him be at the forefront of her mind when she needed to be on the attack. Besides that, she couldn't ever, under any circumstances, let anyone know how she felt. This was such a disaster. All she could do now was try to deal with it.

A few mornings after her jolting discovery, she showed up a little late for breakfast, and Draco pried, "You sure are acting weird lately."

"She's always been a strange girl," commented Narcissa, as though Luci wasn't even there.

She ignored her and answered her brother, "Sorry, got a lot on my mind."

"Such as?"

Luci smiled softly and came up with something he might believe. "It isn't the easiest thing to plan a curriculum for you, you know. Sometimes, it's a little overwhelming."

He grimaced. "Well, sorry to be such a burden."

"You are _not_ a burden!" she corrected herself hastily. "At _all_! Okay?"

Draco nodded.

"It's just that I feel a little out of my league sometimes. My courses were pretty different from yours, and I just don't want to be a failure here. I want you to pass with flying colors."

Narcissa scoffed.

"Something you'd like to share?" Luci asked her.

She narrowed her eyes. "I imagine you're a failure in every way. Therefore, _I_ am making sure that Draco has the knowledge necessary for him to succeed in this world."

Frowning, Luci asked, "You're just teaching him Dark Arts though, right?"

"I know what is important for him to learn." At this, the woman stood haughtily and left the room with a very pleased expression playing on her face.

Luci turned to Draco, her mouth agape.

"It's nothing," he said. "I've wanted _you_ to teach me Dark Arts anyway."

"I will if you want," she replied weakly.

Narcissa was right. Luci was a failure in every way. Now here she was, playing out these ludicrous scenes, being eaten alive by her emotions, feeling completely and entirely incapable of all of these things being asked of her…

"Hey, don't listen to my mother," Draco cut into her thoughts.

"Why not? She's absolutely right."

"Shut up," said her brother. "Name one thing you've ever failed at."

She could name a million, but she answered, "Keeping a straight face when you make Weasley jokes."

Draco laughed. "Yeah, well, no one can resist my stand-up act."

"A failure certainly couldn't," she grinned.

"Always with the self-hatred," her brother scrutinized. "You'd think you were me."

"Why? You suffer from it too?"

"Sometimes. Remember, you're talking to the world's biggest failure."

"Shh," spewed Luci, hoping no one had listened in to their conversation. Then quietly, "Draco, failing the Dark Lord is kind of inevitable. He's a little demanding, you know. If you ask me, you're not a failure in the least."

Draco looked significantly at her for a moment. "Why are you saying this?"

"Because we're friends," she smiled cautiously.

He beamed, and she felt her heart go marshmallow light.

"'Bout time you admitted how much you like me," he teased.

"Now if only I could get people to like _me_!" Luci laughed back, a little too loudly.

At the other end of the table, she saw Harry frown wonderingly at her.

* * *

Later that night, after more than an hour of just lying there, letting her thoughts run rampant, Luci rolled out of her bed. She threw on a pair of jeans and wandered downstairs toward the drawing room. She hadn't spent a night in there in a very long time, and the idea of it soothed her frazzled mind.

"Oh," she sputtered, noticing Harry on the couch and feeling her heart flip flop. "Sorry, I'll go…"

"No," he stopped her. "Up late again?"

"Look who's talking," she smiled softly as she seated herself opposite him.

She suddenly didn't feel very good… Except that she felt wonderful and alive… It was just this stupid force of nature; she was drawn to him. And she couldn't let herself be!

"You were right," Harry was saying.

"That's always nice to hear," she answered hesitantly. "What about?"

"I shouldn't have left here alone."

She had been correct about the night he'd left – something had changed between them. And though she found herself wanting to know everything that had happened, she replied nonchalantly, "You did what you thought you needed to do."

He merely shrugged in response, thus she ventured, "So you found what you were looking for?"

Harry's eyes went wide with something like fear at having been found out, and while Luci was slightly insulted at this, she threw him a harmless smile and assured, "It was just a _guess_. I don't know any of your secrets."

When he seemed relieved, her heart sank. She spewed, "You really don't trust me at _all_, do you?" and then wished instantly that she could take it back.

Especially because he responded, "Well, you can't blame me."

An overwhelming cloud of rejection darkened Luci's heart. Somewhere along the way, she had begun to care what Harry thought of her. She wasn't sure when it had happened. She only knew that she wanted him to like her.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she almost cried, more hurt than she should have been.

"You spend a lot of time with Malfoy, that's all. Bolted up in his room. It's a bit dodgy, you have to admit. What are you up to, anyway?"

What was he suggesting? Was he really that paranoid?

"What I do with Draco is none of your business."

"This is _my_ house!"

"You keep saying that, Harry," she returned angrily. "Do you want us to leave?"

"I want _him_ to leave."

Luci squared her shoulders. "Where Draco goes, I go."

"_What? Why?_" he croaked, his eyes wide.

_Oh, dear. _She was already becoming unable to hide her protective instincts for Draco. And now she'd probably raised Harry's suspicions…

"What _are_ you doing with him?" he went on. "Is there something going on with you two?"

She felt her jaw go slack and stammered, "Oh. Wow. Absolutely not."

They sat there silently for a moment. She was feeling enraged. And nauseous. He was her _brother_, for Merlin's sake! Of course, she couldn't tell Harry this, so instead, she responded, her voice as level as possible, "Not that it's _your_ concern, but I'm helping him to prepare for his N.E.W.T.s. Minerva said that, under the circumstances, if he took them and passed, he wouldn't have to repeat his seventh year. We're not doing anything _dodgy_, as you put it."

He cast his eyes down. "I'm sorry. I just… You acted like you had something to hide. I was just… I'm sorry."

No, he wasn't. He didn't trust her, and she couldn't trust him. So she immediately got to her feet and bit, "I'm not _hiding_ anything. I'm a private person, that's all. And now, I'm going back to bed. I'm sorry I came down here in the first place."

He bolted from his seat at her words and sputtered, "Luci."

Her heart stopped, restarted waveringly, stopped again, and then pounded. She looked up at him, and she was furious, but she wanted him to say her name again. And again and again… What was _wrong_ with her?

Averting his eyes, Harry said, "You have to understand, I _hate_ Malfoy. He's always up to something, and you're just… always with him…"

The desire faded as the fury took over. "We're going in circles here. I told you what we were doing. You don't trust me. That's fine."

"I _do_ trust you…"

Luci narrowed her eyes at him. "I just… really can't believe that right now."

"What do you want? _Proof_?"

She didn't know what was going on, or how they got here.

"I don't want anything from you!" she spat back. "Your trust issues are _your_ problem, and to be honest, they're understandable, considering your past, so like I said, it's fine."

It wasn't fine at all, of course. She was hurt. But she knew that she shouldn't be. _Couldn't_ be. She simply would not allow herself to have any weakness for this boy as well!

"Duel with me," came his voice, a little frantically.

She wobbled her head to clear it, thinking maybe she hadn't heard him properly. "_What_?"

Harry sucked in a breath. "I'll prove to you that I trust you. Ron, Hermione, and I always perform defensive spells on each other. Now that they're gone, I need the practice. And it'll help with the boredom," he added.

Luci was flabbergasted. What had just happened? Were they hanging out or something now?

"Seriously?" she frowned.

He bobbed his head in affirmation.

She inhaled sharply, "You don't have to prove anything to me."

"I want to," was his soft answer. And she couldn't help herself, but she believed him.

Nevertheless, she snapped, "Well, I don't see how dueling builds trust."

His eyes grew slightly wider, and he declared, "It _does_; believe me! When you're vulnerable to someone…" Then he broke off for a moment, before concluding, "Well, if nothing else, it'll be… fun."

Still entirely unsure of what to do or say, and knowing for certain that she didn't want to be vulnerable to Harry Potter, Luci responded slowly, "I don't know how much help I can be to you, Harry. I may surpass you in knowledge, but you greatly surpass me in real experience, which is a far better teacher."

Something inside of her didn't want him to know what a fraud she was, that she was no more a decent Auror than she was a Pure Blood, that she had no idea how to truly fight against dark magic, that she was somehow destabilized every time she was near him…

"It doesn't matter," Harry was saying. "Knowledge is what I need."

Overcome by the idea of it all, she uttered, "I'm exhausted."

She just wanted out of the conversation. But mentally, it was the truth.

"Tomorrow night, same place, same time?" asked Luci, but she had no intentions of dueling with him.

"Okay," he agreed, with a small, hesitant smile.

Luci's heart skidded inside of her chest, and very nearly frightened by it, she could only hurry from the room without another word.

Once alone again, she undressed mechanically and crawled into bed. She missed Persephone, who always settled onto her pillow, right next to her head, and soothed her to sleep with gentle purring.

She also missed mental clarity. Why did Harry affect her so… physically? Why did her heart race and her chest tighten and her stomach flutter? She had admitted, the moment she'd met him, that she found him kind of magnetic. She'd, very regrettably, even admitted to Kristen that he attractive. But so were Josh and Charlie and Bill and loads of other men who did nothing for her. There was something else. Something thrilling. And Luci had to stomp it out before it went any further. She simply couldn't handle anything else.

* * *

The next night, she had decided not to meet him after all. She was lying in bed, already in her pajamas, arguing with herself.

_Stay away from him!_ said a voice

_But I don't wanna! _responded a second.

_At least go and explain yourself_, suggested a third, probably the most rational of them all.

And this was the one that she heeded.

After much deliberation, she got dressed and went out to the drawing room.

"I've thought about it, and I've decided that I'm not a worthy opponent for you."

He had been sitting on the couch, in the dark, and she had only come to say this, or any excuse to get out of it, and then to leave immediately.

But Harry looked over and replied hurriedly, "You know that isn't true. You're just still mad at me about last night."

That wasn't her reason at all, but she allowed, "A little of both."

He stood up, facing her, and frowned. "Well, get over it! I've apologized, and you're brilliant enough to become an Auror, so you can obviously duel circles around me."

Luci's mouth fell open. Did he just suggest that she _get over it_? Before she could stop herself, she gave a short laugh. And realized that maybe he was right. It wasn't like she had _feelings_ for him. It wasn't like she couldn't control herself and push away whatever and whomever she pleased. She'd always been terrific at it.

So, in keeping with her new mood, she went on, "I love how you've just called me out, but you should know that I don't normally take criticism very well."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Except from yourself."

Wow. Clever. Her instinct was to flare at him for that comment, but then she realized that he wouldn't have said such a thing if he hadn't been paying attention. And she was flattered that he had.

"Touché, Potter, touché," she concurred.

"Potter?" he gaped.

She shrugged. "Harry. But it's a duel. Last names in a duel. _You_ should know; you call Draco 'Malfoy' all the time. So, where shall we begin?"

He dropped his hands to his sides. "I… uh…"

Luci grinned. "Well, come on, Harry, this was your idea! You must have _some_ routine."

She didn't know what she was getting herself into, but she had rapidly grown so buoyant that she didn't much care. She wanted to be in his company. Somewhere, one of those voices was shouting warnings, but she had turned it off.

"We just… throw spells at one another…" Harry had answered.

"Okay," she said in understanding. "Prepare to be owned. _Potter_."

And she was outright flirting now, but she couldn't stop herself. What did it matter anyway? In a few months, she'd never see him again, and then, she could at least say that she didn't allow herself to be entirely miserable in this house.

Harry was looking confused. "I… what? Owned?"

"Sorry," giggled Luci, "I was just saying that I was going to crush you, but it's not _really_ true, of course."

"Whatever you say…"

He threw his body into a defensive position, and Luci realized that she had already adopted the stance herself.

Seeing her advantage, she commanded, "_Expelliarmus_!"

His wand flew from his hand, and he complained, "Hey, that wasn't fair!"

Luci gave him her best Anne Boleyn smile and replied, "Oh. I didn't know we were playing _fair_."

And when he grinned in response, she knew that she was done for.


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Good Intentions

**Chapter Fifteen – Good Intentions**

It was now the small hours of the morning. Luci could tell that Harry was growing weary when he shot, "_Reducto_," at her and missed. By a lot.

She pocketed her wand and suggested, "Let's call it a night."

"Forfeiting, eh?" He stifled a yawn.

"Never," she grinned. "But you're exhausted."

"You're not?"

Luci frowned to herself. "No, I guess I'm not. Must be all the caffeine in the tea." But she secretly suspected that it was simply the fact that she was enlivened by spending time with him.

"You'll get immune to it eventually," he said, sinking into the couch.

She wanted to sit next to him, but she didn't. Instead, she leaned against the table and asked, "Shouldn't you sleep in your _bed_ and not here?"

He smiled. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

Josh always presented the same question to her, but for once, she meant it when she answered, "No, of course not."

"Can I ask you something?"

She met his droopy eyes and laughed, "If you've got the energy."

"Where are you from? I've never been to the States, so I was just curious."

"Arizona," answered Luci. "It's a dull place. I've never been anywhere else, actually, until now."

"That's not even a state people know exists," he chuckled.

"Told you it was dull."

"Do you miss it?"

She blinked at him. "Well… no, but I miss my friends and my mom."

Harry bobbed his head in understanding. "This must really suck for you. And having to hang out with Malfoy." He made a disgusted noise.

"It's not so bad," she disagreed. "Besides everyone hating me, obviously."

"Not _everyone_."

Luci looked at him and she felt so… _accepted_ all of the sudden. She couldn't help but beam and reply, "Well, maybe not _everyone_. You know, you should really get to bed."

"Yeah, I know," Harry said, struggling to his feet. "Can we do this again?"

"Sure," she answered, trying not to show her enthusiasm.

"Tomorrow night, same place, same time?" he repeated her words.

"I'll be here," she nodded.

He averted his eyes for a moment before offering shyly, "I can walk you to your room?"

"Good idea," concurred Luci, endeared. "These halls are dangerous at night."

They both tiptoed as silently as they could toward their rooms. When they reached Luci's, Harry whispered, "Night then."

"Night," she echoed softly before shutting herself behind the door.

She changed and crawled into bed, but after lying there for awhile, she decided that it was impossible for her to ever reach sleep again. It happened most nights, but tonight, her mind was particularly racing. She had had such a spectacular time with Harry. And now she was feeling guilty. He hated her. He didn't know it yet, of course, but he hated her blood, and therefore, would hate her. And she did too, at the moment. Well, often, really, but more severely at the moment. For letting herself get carried away. For not being responsible and disciplined enough to deny him these so-called duels. And though she was looking so much forward to the next night, everything was telling her to cancel it, avoid him, fly home immediately. But she wouldn't. Because she hadn't enjoyed a boy's company in so long that she couldn't let herself run away. Though she should. She should run away at once!

"Overreacting," she told herself aloud.

Because what was the problem? They were just going to be friends. None of the other stuff mattered. It didn't matter that he was seventeen years old. Or that he was, according to Fleur, practically betrothed to Ginny Weasley, a girl who surpassed Luci in every way. Because they were just going to be friends.

Still, she couldn't placate herself, and she didn't sleep.

When morning came, she was the first into the kitchen to make tea. She was downing cup after cup, sitting alone at one end of the table, avoiding the gazes of everyone else, when Draco and his mother finally decided to join her.

"You look terrible," he remarked.

"Gee, thanks. Couldn't sleep."

"Is that why you're self-medicating with caffeine?"

"Exactly why," she smiled.

"You know," said Draco passively, "you could make a sleeping draught."

Wow, why hadn't that occurred to her? Stupid Muggle upbringing. She nodded and said, "I think I will."

Throughout that entire next week, Luci and Harry met in the drawing room at night, and during the day, disregarded each other entirely, except for the occasional furtive glances and downplayed smiles. At one point, Luci realized that she had initiated most of this eye contact and, embarrassed, ceased looking in his direction altogether. But that same evening, he had asked her if something was wrong, and she had gone right back to initiating the very next day.

It was the eighth night when he walked into the room and stated, "You've gotta stop looking at me like that."

Luci gasped. Was he on to her? "Like _what_?"

"Like… I dunno, the way we look at each other… like we have a secret."

She grinned in relief. "I apologize. I will never look at you again."

He seemed confused for a moment and shook his head. "I just mean that Hermione is acting suspicious."

"Oh, right, clever perception."

"Huh?"

"I've just heard that not much gets by her," clarified Luci.

"It's true. So. Yeah. Let's… be more cautious, I guess?"

He was doing that thing where he pressed his fingernails into his palms, and she'd decided that this was his nervous tick. It was the best thing, it really was.

"You got it," she assured him, rising from the couch where she'd been seated. "So tonight's lesson is revealing spells."

"What do they reveal?" he asked.

"Oh, almost anything. I just think it's important to have detective tools. Hermione would probably agree."

Harry grinned. "Should have invited her."

"It's not too late," Luci offered, but he shook his head, and she continued, "Okay, first, a sort of sensing spell. Gives you a bit of an insight into situations."

"What d'ya mean?"

"Well, suppose someone is having a whispered conversation, and you want to know what they're talking about. This spell will give you a sort of… feeling for the circumstances, like maybe the emotions being felt or… well, something along those lines."

He frowned. "What's the point?"

"Hey, if you don't wanna learn it, that's fine," she countered, a little irritated.

"No, I do," he jumped. "It's just… how is it relevant to fighting Voldemort?"

"It's not, necessarily," she allowed, "but it's relevant for gauging situations, people's intentions, that kind of thing."

His eyes lit up and she suddenly realized her mistake, even before he beseeched, "Can I try it on you?"

She clenched her jaw. He'd only be able to tell what she was feeling at the time, but she didn't trust those feelings, and certainly didn't want him to be aware of them.

"You're probably right," she replied, avoiding his question. "It's not relevant to you. Let's go with distracting spells instead."

"Why?" he said, his eyes narrowed. "Is there something you don't want me to _sense_?"

She was suddenly very nervous, but her mask would never show it. "Of course not," she answered confidently. "I just think something else might be of more use to you."

"I want to learn this one," he said stubbornly.

Luci almost sighed, but bit down on her bottom lip instead. "Of course, you do. Okay, fine."

She was just going to have to use every trick she had to fend off the spell, since she assumed he'd perform it with flying colors right away.

"The incantation is _sententia_."

He looked rather satisfied with himself as he took out his wand. "Is this like Occlumency?"

"No, Occlumency is far more difficult, and more valuable too. This spell simply gives you… kind of an idea of what someone is feeling, like reading body language or something."

With a small nod, he directed his wand at her. She was just able to push everything out of her mind before he commanded, "_Sententia_!"

They stood there for a moment, silently, and then Harry furrowed his brow. "I don't feel anything."

Luci, entirely calmed by her success, responded, "Give it another shot."

This time, when he sent the spell at her, she permitted her mind to open, ever so slightly. She was basically just allowing pride at her ability to deflect the spell. It made her feel strong and protected and capable.

And Harry's expression turned to relief before he stated, "I feel… safe. Yeah. Is that how it's supposed to work?"

"Sort of," began Luci slowly. "You should really be _reading_ your opponent, not… replicating their feelings yourself."

He blushed and then muttered, "I guess I feel safe because you feel safe?"

She smiled, but she didn't feel safe anymore. She felt decidedly _un_safe, in fact. Her heart racing, Luci changed the subject. "So shall we get to the duel?"

Harry still appeared a little dazed, but he answered, "Sure," and took his defensive position.

Luci did the same and shot, "Stupefy," but he dodged her.

The two of them flung a few more spells at each other before Harry succeeded with "_Expelliarmus_!"

As soon as Luci's wand was out of her hand, he continued. "_Sententia_!"

She froze, knowing her mind had been open, knowing her guard had been down.

He straightened and said slowly, "You're… _terrified_."

"Why would you do that?" she exploded, suddenly furious. "That was really low!"

Harry shook his head at her. "_Low_? Why?"

"Because…" But she stopped.

His nostrils flared. "I get it. Because you didn't have a chance to prepare. Well, isn't that the whole point of that spell? To get an upper hand?"

Luci nodded. She was still very worried about what he could have received from her thoughts.

Harry's expression softened. "I don't understand why you were scared."

She could only look at him.

"What did you think I'd catch you feeling?" he asked pleadingly.

Disregarding his tone, Luci spat, "None of your business," and marched from the drawing room.

He didn't follow her, didn't call her back. She made it to her bedroom with no resistance. She locked the door behind her and growled aloud. She was undoubtedly the stupidest person alive. She thoroughly hated herself and felt no desire whatsoever to stay here. She didn't want to see Harry ever again. He was too much for her – too bright and too curious and too obstinate and too… attractive. She wanted away.

Overwhelmed by her own mind, Luci gulped far more of the sleeping draught than she should have.

* * *

She awoke to a knocking sound. Her vision was blurry and her brain fuzzy, but she managed out of her bed to open the door.

"Afternoon," said her brother.

"_Afternoon_?" she squeaked.

"Yeah. Past lunch, even. Are you sick or something?"

"I don't think so…" she began. "Too much of that sleeping draught. Oh, shit, are they irate with me?"

Draco smiled. "I don't think anyone pays attention to us Death Eaters. I missed you though. Mum taught me Charms. It was dreadful."

"God, I'm so sorry," she muttered, smoothing her hair from her face. "Okay, no more artificial sleep for me."

"Yeah, but then you don't sleep at all, apparently."

"Better that than being dead to the world all day."

He scowled. "I'm not so sure. It's so damn boring around here."

She nodded sleepily.

"Get dressed," he suggested, "and let's find something to do."

* * *

That evening, at dinner, Luci glanced down the table at Harry every once in awhile. He kept his head turned in the opposite direction the entire time. It made her miserable. Though it served her right. If she wasn't going to have the good sense to cease these little meetings, then at least _something_ was putting a stop to it. Even if it was something awful that ruined their budding friendship.

"You're quiet tonight," commented Narcissa. "It's a welcome reprieve from your usual blathering."

Luci glared at her. "Yeah, well, enjoy it while it lasts."

When she returned to her room, there was a piece of parchment on the floor that appeared to have been stuffed under the door.

Luci unfolded it and found the words: _Please come tonight._

Her heart fluttered. He wanted to see her! And even though she knew that they would have to discuss what happened last night, she was blissfully happy. God, she was out of her mind.

* * *

Harry was already in the drawing room when she arrived. He looked nervous, sitting there on the couch, and she thought it was adorable.

"Hi," he said, and then cleared his throat.

"Hi," she returned.

"Didn't think you'd come."

After his note, she wasn't sure anything could have kept her away. But she merely responded, "I'm sorry about last night."

"Me too," he mumbled. "I just… secrets have caused a lot of… problems in my life. I don't like them."

Guilt crept into the pit of her stomach. She wanted so badly to come clean to him, to tell him who she was and why she was here and that she would never, ever want to hurt him, and maybe even what she was afraid he'd catch her feeling. But it wasn't an option, so she replied, "I know. But everyone has them, and some are just better kept. My life has been… complicated, that's all, and it has nothing to do with you."

"So you were terrified because you thought I might see your past? I thought the spell only allowed me to sense what you were feeling?"

"Dammit, why are you so fucking smart?" she seethed.

Harry sighed. "Don't swear, Luci, it's not–"

"What?" she snapped.

"Attractive," he answered meekly.

Taken aback, she said, "Do you need me to be attractive, Harry?"

He frowned. "No, I…"

"Never mind," she cut in. "I was terrified because I don't like being exposed. It freaks me out. There. Are you happy?"

"I'm sorry." He stood. "I don't like it either. I don't know what I expected to get from you…"

"Death Eater secrets?" Luci suggested angrily. "Voldemort's location? Where I keep my Dark Mark?"

"No!" he barked. "Because the spell doesn't do that, does it? I just thought maybe I could…"

"What?"

"See if you have good intentions!" he yelled back. "I mean, you're such a great actress that I don't know what to think half the time! All I know for sure is that you showed up here with Death Eaters. And I can't help but be wary of that."

Luci wanted to cry. She felt sapped all of the sudden, even though she'd slept all day. She moved to the nearest chair and collapsed into it.

"You can't even tell me I'm wrong, can you?" shot Harry.

"My head hurts," was all she said, because she didn't know how to answer.

"Sure," he hissed. "Sure, it does."

"It _does_," Luci retorted.

And then she thought of a way to divert him while still being honest. "Harry… I didn't want you privy to my feelings because… I feel… _horrible_ things, sometimes. And my emotions get out of control. It's not something you want someone to know about you. And… I _do_ have good intentions, especially towards you." She bit her tongue to keep from spouting any other stupid truths and turned bright red.

He took a deep breath. "Luci… let's forget it. Let's stop talking about it and get back to… before. I'm sure you've got more stuff you can teach me."

She looked up at him, bewildered, grateful. "Yes," she said shakily. "I have loads more."

"Okay," he replied slowly. "So what's on the schedule for tonight?"

Luci got to her feet, and resisting the urge to hug him, answered, "A good one. A blinding spell."

"Cool," he said evenly. "Show me."

In that moment, she felt like he was far more mature than she was. Dumbledore had been right; he may be seventeen, but he was far past his years. She wished she could be like him – able to let things go. Boys were always better at that than girls were, it seemed.

"This spell," she began, "is something we can't try on one another, because it's not easy to reverse in humans. So we'll try it on conjured animals."

One corner of his mouth turned up. "Sounds handy."

"It should be," she smiled in return, trying to relax. Then she summoned a small mammal at their feet.

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Why a raccoon?"

"They have excellent vision, so it's a little more of a challenge for you. Everything comes too easy."

"That's not true," he said moodily.

"No, sorry," she corrected herself, her cheeks hot. "I just meant that you're talented. You need the… y'know, honors classes."

He only blinked at her, so she went on, "Anyway, it's an intense spell, so be gentle on this little guy. The inflection is this–" She brandished her wand in the air in front of him. "And you say _caecus_."

Nodding once, Harry aimed his own wand at the raccoon, mimicked her motion, and recited, "_Caecus_!"

They both watched the animal, who glanced up at them and wiggled its nose.

"Don't think it worked," grumbled Harry.

"So try again," Luci replied.

He gave it another shot, to no avail. On the third attempt, however, the raccoon made a complete circle, turned to flee, and barreled head-first into the wall.

Luci gasped, "Oh!" and immediately went to it.

Harry asked, "Is he alright?" just as she was removing the spell and returning its vision.

Stroking the raccoon's back, she answered, "Just fine, but I think he's had enough for tonight," and then sent him back into oblivion.

"Wow, I never intended animal cruelty," said Harry sheepishly.

"My fault," cut in Luci, "but he wasn't harmed, no worries. And you learned something new."

"You're a fantastic teacher," grinned Harry.

"Might be the only thing I'm good at it," she chuckled.

"No, it isn't," he reprimanded.

Luci raised an eyebrow. "How do you know?"

"Stop being like that," he snapped. "I know because I've watched you."

He stopped abruptly and blushed. Suddenly, Luci didn't know how to stand. The fact that he'd been paying attention made her self-conscious. She clasped her hands at her waist, then dropped them, then crossed her arms in front of her.

"Um," she managed. "Well… I can't imagine you've found anything else I'm good at."

Harry had been staring at the floor, but now he frowned at her. "I feel horrible things sometimes too. Self-loathing and anger and…whatever. But I think the way you put those things into words isn't the best way to deal with them."

"Oh, you do, do you?" countered Luci, moving her idle hands to her hips. "Well, putting things into words helps me to work through them."

"I just mean…" he started. Then he growled softly. "Never mind. I'm knackered. Tomorrow?"

"Anon," nodded Luci uncertainly. It seemed like such an untimely end to what could have been a marvelous conversation. She wanted so badly to just sit down with him and talk candidly to each other. It was her own doing that they couldn't, she supposed.

Harry's lips turned up slightly. "Yeah, that. Good night, Luci."

"Night, Harry," she returned.

When he was gone, she curled up on the couch with _Advanced Protective Spells_, which she'd taken to reading only in the drawing room, because it was so dull that it put her to sleep if she was in her bed.

But the words were swirling before her eyes. She couldn't concentrate. She told herself that it was because she was tired, and it was late. But she'd only been up since noon. There was no way that she could admit that it was because she was wishing that he was still here.


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Indulgence

**Chapter Sixteen – Indulgence**

Somehow, early October had rolled round. Luci thought that it had come too quickly. Just weeks ago, she was desperately impatient to go home. Now, though, she felt like her time to leave would be here before she knew it, and she wouldn't want to go.

She was sitting next to Draco at his desk, and he was scribbling astrological equations. Luci was watching him vaguely, but was mostly daydreaming about seeing Harry that evening. It had become a terrible habit that she was unable to break. She'd given up at this point and was allowing herself a small indulgence, since she rarely did so.

"Well?" came her brother's voice, slicing through her thoughts.

She blinked, and then absentmindedly studied the parchment. "Yeah, looks good. It's kind of amazing how far you've come."

He shrugged. "Nothing better to do, I guess."

"True. No evil plots taking up all of your attention," said Luci playfully.

"Very funny," he snapped.

"Oh, c'mon, you know I'm kidding. And we'll get out of here eventually," she encouraged.

"Not soon enough," complained Draco.

Luci used to agree with him. Today, she merely replied pleasantly, "We'll survive."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You seem… happier lately. Is it that boy you've been writing letters to?"

A few days ago, Luci had sat down to write to Josh while Draco had been perfecting an Everlasting Elixir. It had been a completely harmless letter, of course, but Draco didn't know that, and considering the alternative, he didn't need to.

So she grinned at him and detoured, "Hey, isn't it time for lunch?"

He rolled his eyes at her and muttered, "Revolting," and Luci laughed.

* * *

Tonight, she was teaching Harry the bubble shield. He had been thrilled at the prospect of learning a protective spell for once, after all of the offensive tools he'd been given. They'd been dueling earlier, and he'd observed that he didn't know nearly enough methods of deflection. Luci had agreed, apologized, and offered to change tactics.

"Now, I'm going to have you try this on me," she was saying. "It's harmless if you don't get it right, and it's much better to practice on people."

"Shouldn't I be practicing on myself?" he asked.

"Nope, not yet. It's a difficult one. Okay, so repeat after me: _Clypeus_."

He gave her a tentative glance but did as she instructed, lifting his wand and directing the spell at her.

Suddenly, she felt her skin expanding, her clothing stretching, her torso rounding out. Her first instinct was to panic, but her feet began lifting from the floor, and it occurred to her that she'd simply forgotten to warn him about visualizing actual bubbles.

"Oh my god, what did I do?" Harry was shouting anxiously up at her. "Are you all right? Luci! Should I go get help?"

By now, she was floating about against the ceiling, and she couldn't stop laughing. If she did, she'd realize how humiliating it was to be a large round object in front of a boy whom she wanted to find her attractive.

"Shhh!" she tried to hush him through her fits.

"No! Luci! Stop laughing!"

He really looked quite upset down there, so she finally aimed her wand at herself and commanded, "_Decresco_!"

Slowly, her body began to deflate, and she was lowering back to the floor.

"Tell me you're all right," he called up, looking completely distressed.

"I'm fine," she answered nonchalantly, but truly, the embarrassment was sinking in and she felt her cheeks burning. "That was entirely my fault."

"How was it _your_ fault?" he asked, when she landed clumsily in front of him. He reached out a hand to steady her, and her skin sparked where he'd touched her.

"If you think about bubbles, weird things can happen. Obviously." She patted at her stomach to make sure that she'd returned to normal. She still appeared to be the thin, pale, flat-chested little thing that she'd always been.

"Looks like my clothes won't make it, though," she said wryly, pulling at her stretched sweater. Then she turned away and moved towards the couch. She wanted a little distance between them, to catch her breath and to fumble in her head for that mask she liked to wear. She hated when she lost control of her emotions the way she'd just done. It was the stupidest thing she could possibly let happen, especially in his presence.

But he came and sat down next to her. "You sure you're all right? I'm _really_ sorry."

She glanced sideways at him, and his expression was distraught. She smiled, "Yes, Harry, I'm all right, I promise. I've been through much worse, believe me. And it's a really tricky spell. No one gets it right the first time."

He sighed and began fiddling with his hands. She wanted to take them into her own, and averted her eyes to quell the urge. In fact, it was probably best to get away from him. It was past their usual departure time anyway.

"I'm sleepy," she told him.

"Me too," he said softly, "but I hate sleeping."

Curious, despite her original escape plan, she continued, "How come?"

"Nightmares," Harry answered, suddenly sounding groggy.

She frowned. "What about?"

He took a shallow breath. "Dumbledore. The Astronomy Tower. Same one every night."

Luci allowed herself to peek over at him. "What happens?"

"I dunno," he yawned. "I can't save him. Or anyone else. I just want…"

He stopped and looked sideways at her. "I don't wanna talk about it."

She was disappointed, but she agreed, "All right."

They sat there for a few minutes, neither of them saying anything. Luci noticed that their knees were touching, just barely, but at that tiny point of connection, it felt like there was a hole being burned right through her jeans…

"I'd better go before I fall asleep," Harry said eventually. He slowly got to his feet.

"You want me to see if I can find something for the nightmares?" asked Luci, standing too.

He gazed at her for a long moment, and then, "Yeah. That'd be great."

She nodded and he started for the door. "Night then."

"Night, Harry," she called after him.

And since she wasn't the least bit sleepy, she decided to Apparate down the street and call Kristen. She didn't know why, but she felt the need to talk to someone who might be able to tell her she wasn't crazy.

"Yeah?" answered a scratchy voice.

"Kristen?" asked Luci.

"Luci!" she shrieked. "Hey, don't you know I never answer my phone at work?"

"I've forgotten," admitted Luci. "Wait, who are you, again?"

"Your bestest friend in the whole world who misses you," Kristen replied through some background noise.

"Misses me, my ass. _One_ letter? That's pathetic."

"Yeah, sorry about that," she muttered. "Having some issues."

"What issues?" But Luci knew already.

"Maggie. She cheated on me. With a boy. Again."

Kristen sounded crushed, and Luci sighed, "I'm so sorry, honey."

"When will I learn?"

"This time, maybe?" suggested Luci.

"No, not this time," Kristen grumbled. "I want her back. I'm gonna forgive her like I always do."

"But… _why_?"

She took a deep breath. "I dunno. Because I love her. Because I'd rather be _with_ her than without her."

Luci pursed her lips before starting slowly, "But, Kristen, you can do _so_ much better!"

"It's not about that!" blurted Kristen angrily. "_She's_ the one I want! I don't know why I can't get any support from you!"

"I just… I hate seeing her hurt you over and over again. Is it really worth it? To be with her?"

"Yes."

Nodding, Luci allowed, "Okay. Then be with her. But she might never stop doing this."

"I know," she sighed.

Luci shook her head to herself. "As long as you know… Who was the guy?"

Kristen took a moment to answer. "His name is Chad; that's all I know. I don't wanna know anything else."

"Probably a good idea," Luci concurred. "Hopefully, it was just once?"

"She only admits to once. Because I caught her on the phone with him talking about that… _once_. God, it was fucking awful."

"I'm sorry," said Luci again, helpless. "This is most likely impossible, but is there anything I can do from here?"

"Talking to me helps."

"Okay, I'll stay on as long as you want."

"Eh, I have to go back to work, unfortunately," she grumbled.

"That sucks. How's it going? Anything new?"

"They just hired a really cute girl, actually," said Kristen, her tone changing instantly. "She's waiting in the section near me. I'm totally going to set you up with her when you get home."

"Fantastic," murmured Luci. "The entire male race hates me, and now, this is my fate – my best friend setting me up with chicks, who will all probably end up hating me too."

"Oh, bah," scolded Kristen. "Speaking of, how's Harry Potter?"

"He's… good," Luci grinned.

"Ooh, how good?"

"Kristen!"

"Hey, forgive me for hoping you might finally be getting some!" she laughed.

"I will _never_ be… getting some?"

"So you haven't hit on him yet?"

"Er… not _directly_…"

"Indirectly?" prompted Kristen.

"I don't know! I mean… I don't know! We just… hang out."

"Doing what?"

Luci shrugged. "I teach him stuff," – and then before Kristen could make some lude comment – "spells and charms and things."

Kristen scoffed. "God, that sounds dull. He's gonna see you like one of his old geezer Professors."

Something sank in Luci's stomach. "Really? You think he will?"

"That's what it sounds like to me."

"Shit," she muttered, and then, "I don't even know why I care!"

"Because," began Kristen, "he's _hot_, so you say, though I find it unlikely and somewhat disturbing…"

"_Platonically_ hot," corrected Luci.

"Is he still just _platonically_ hot? Or does he make you forget that Mark guy ever existed?"

Luci went rigid, stunned. It was true. She used to think about Mark every day. Every _single_ day. And now she couldn't remember the last time he'd crossed her mind…

"Oh my god," she gasped.

"Ahhhh!" shrieked Kristen in her ear. "Luci, this is so exciting!"

"Shut up! No, it isn't! This is _terrible_!"

"You have a crush!" giggled Kristen. "This may very well be the best day of my life."

Luci huffed. "That is very sad, Kristen, very sad."

"Say what you will! I am ecstatic!" Kristen was making chirping noises.

"Okay, go back to work," said Luci. "I'm going to bed."

"What is it? Three in the morning there?"

"A little past, yeah."

"Yes, you should go to bed. You need all of your energy to nurse your newfound lust!"

"Ugh. I'm gonna stop telling you things."

"No, you aren't," countered Kristen. "Call soon and tell me some more things, okay?"

"Okay," Luci laughed. "And… I'm sorry about Maggie."

"Eh."

"Love you."

"Love you too. And, hey, Luce?"

"Yeah?"

"Congrats. I'm proud of you."

Luci growled at her best friend and slammed the phone back into its cradle.


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Harry's Journey

**Chapter Seventeen – Harry's Journey (corresponds with POTP Chapter 9)**

The entire next day, Luci determinedly avoided acknowledging Harry's existence, while simultaneously cursing Kristen's. How _dare_ she destroy Luci's perfectly healthy denial? It had been working superbly. And now, she felt… well, preposterous, really. She had no business having _crushes_ on people! She wished that she could take back her admission of guilt, keep pretending, continue feeling little sparks and disregarding them completely. Every time her mind went to him, she started counting backwards to sidetrack her thoughts.

Draco kept asking her what was wrong, and Luci continually mumbled something about a headache.

That evening, she knew she had to show up. Otherwise, he'd know that something was different. And she intended to go on telling herself that there was nothing there. In his presence, at least. Her only hope was to distract herself and to do everything she could to act normal.

So, upon seeing Harry in his usual spot on the couch, she began immediately, "Okay, I've got one you surely haven't learned!"

Harry looked up at her and grinned, "Oh, yeah?"

It was all Luci could do to prevent herself from swooning and plow on, "It's the Traitor Hex."

As she approached the couch, trying not to look at tense as she felt, he echoed, "Traitor Hex?"

"It temporarily turns a person against their allies," she nodded. "Very helpful in any kind of battle situation."

"Brilliant!" burst Harry, beaming and getting to his feet.

"Yes."

He gasped, "We could get Death Eaters like Snape and Bellatrix on our side!"

"No!" she exclaimed before she knew what she was doing.

Harry's mouth fell open.

"It won't work on Snape," she choked in explanation.

"How do you even know who Snape _is_?" he frowned.

_Dammit_. How _did_ she know? Had Harry ever mentioned him? She didn't think so. Hmm, she hadn't heard from him in awhile…

Finally, she answered convincingly, "_Everyone_ knows Severus Snape, and it won't work on him."

"Why not?"

"He's much too talented," she said simply.

"So it only works on weak wizards?" Harry sounded annoyed.

"Not necessarily," she wheedled. "But it won't work on Snape, and certainly not on Voldemort. And besides that, it's _temporary_ – only lasts for several minutes, depending on the person."

He huffed. "Well, let's see it anyway."

Luci hadn't thought about how to show it to him. "I don't know how you could practice it…"

"I could try it on Malfoy."

She bit the insides of her cheeks and covered her mouth to keep from smiling. The two of them were hilarious. Draco would have said something similar about Harry.

She scolded, "Not funny," before conjuring two brown mice and two white mice onto the floor.

"_Addo Ferito_," commanded Luci, and they did as they were told and began to battle one another.

She turned to the boy next to her and instructed, "All right, Harry, the incantation for the Traitor Hex is _Abeo Proditio_. Give it a try."

He pulled out his wand. "_Abeo Proditio_."

Nothing happened. They were still under Luci's original spell.

"Here, it's more of a wave, like this," she showed him.

"_Abeo Proditio,_" he attempted again.

She almost laughed when one of the white rats starting licking the other one. Harry gave her an adorable discomfited smile, but she coaxed, "Keep trying."

He was very determined. Luci watched him cast the spell repeatedly, but never get it quite right. She didn't say a word, mostly because she was mesmerized by his concentration. His hair was falling into his eyes, and she'd often noticed this happening, but for some reason, she found it unbelievably sexy at the moment. It was almost like admitting the whole crush thing made it a million times worse, and harder to ignore…

She heard him sigh in frustration and she composed herself and suggested, "Why don't we try this again later?"

As she vanished the animals on the floor with her wand, Harry grumbled, "Stupid mice."

Luci giggled at him. "It's a tough one, but I have no doubt that you'll get it." She paused, considered, but went on anyway. "You're really quite gifted."

He turned away and muttered softly, "Thanks."

She probably shouldn't have said it. She blushed and diverted, "Okay, so try the bubble shield on me again. You've almost got it. Just remember not to actually envision bubbles when you do it."

"I'd rather not."

"I want you to try it on me before you try it on yourself. It's safer that way."

He grimaced.

"Come on!" She waved her hands permissively.

He hesitantly directed his wand towards her. "_Clypeus_!"

Luci felt something instantly, and when she went to speak, bubbles erupted abundantly from her lips, like a dam breaking. Her first thought was to be humiliated again. But then the hilarity struck her, and she burst into laughter. The spheres flowed even more freely as she chuckled, clutching her ribs.

Harry was yelping, "I'm sorry!" but she couldn't cease.

After what might have been a full minute, still giggling at him, Luci removed the spell and took a fresh breath of air. She looked up at the bubbles all around her, and she was overcome with an urge to just lie on the floor and gaze at them. Taking no heed of the voice in her head that told her this was an asinine idea, she lowered herself onto the carpet and allowed herself to enjoy the scene above.

Harry was still gaping at her. "Are you all right?"

She was feeling very present in this moment, on her back, watching the little orbs bump into each other and change directions. It was beautiful. And she was glad that Harry was here, experiencing this splendor with her. She grinned at him. "Yes, very easily solved. And so pretty too. Kind of enchanting, isn't it?"

He got down beside her on the floor and positioned himself onto his back. Her pulse began to pick up speed. He remarked, "I don't know about _enchanting_…"

_Boys_, she complained to herself. But she said aloud, "Well, _I_ think so. Maybe it's a girl thing."

She could feel his body heat. She glanced down quickly and saw that his arm couldn't have been more than an inch away from hers. She could just reach out and touch him… God, she wanted to. But she wouldn't. Instead, she took deep breaths to slow her racing heart and pressed her hands into the floor to keep them from grabbing his.

They had to stop spending nights like this. It was going to kill her eventually. She loved that they were friends, but she was at the point where she couldn't stop thinking about rolling over and kissing him... She closed her eyes on this notion.

She had no idea how long they'd been lying there when Harry called softly, "Luci?"

"Hmm?" she responded in what was almost a moan.

"Do you know anything about Horcruxes?"

She shot straight up at this, shocked. "Wha?" A lingering bubble exploded from her lips. She had no time to be embarrassed. When he sat upright, she managed, "Why would you ask me that?"

He didn't say anything and her thoughts were jumbled. Then something occurred to her, a reason why he was always so guarded... "_That's_ your secret? You're making Horcruxes?"

He cried, "No! No, that's not it at _all_!"

She blinked, trying to clear her head.

"Voldemort made six of them," he was going on. "Three have been destroyed and I have to find the others."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing – not only the fact that he was sharing, but also the very perilous words themselves. "Tell me you're kidding," she gasped.

With a solemn shake of his head, Harry told her that he wasn't in the least.

Luci didn't know what to say. Dumbledore had talked about a journey, but could he have possibly meant _this_? That Harry had to get involved with the darkest magic known in their world? Finally, she nearly whispered, "Harry… do you have _any_ idea…?"

He cut her off. "I know. It's dangerous. But I have to do it."

If what Dumbledore had said was true – that Harry was the only one who could kill Voldemort…

"Yes, of course, you do," she said in realization. "If you want to defeat Voldemort, you have to get to the Horcruxes first."

"So you _do_ know about them?" he questioned expectantly.

She murmured, "A little, yeah…"

"How do I destroy them?" he prodded on.

"Assuming you can find them?" she asked skeptically.

"Yeah," Harry nodded.

"God, they're all different," Luci began slowly. "It would depend on _so_ many things…"

He frowned. "Like what?"

Habitually, she shoved her thumb between her teeth. She should really stop doing it, but it helped her think. She nibbled at her fingernail and tried to sort through her brain. What did she know about this? At the moment, she couldn't remember anything.

She muttered aloud, "Well, I assume that Voldemort's Horcruxes'll be particularly difficult to destroy…" Then it occurred to her that she'd read a little bit about a substance that purified dark objects, but could it be any match for something like this?

"No," she burbled, "_that_ probably won't work, at least, not on its own… If you could get to–" There was supposedly a well somewhere in Ireland that had been proven to obliterate a Horcrux if you dropped it down the chasm. But how would they get there, if it even existed? "No, that's ridiculous," she decided.

After a few moments, she met his gaze. "I'm sorry," she said. "I wouldn't know unless I could see it. And then, I probably _still_ wouldn't know."

His eyes sunk into something like hopelessness. "Isn't there anything?"

A wave of pity overtook her. "I don't have all of the answers, Harry."

"Well, can you at least tell me how to know when I've found one?"

He must really be starting from scratch. She wondered if Hermione knew anything about this. She'd probably be much more help to him, sadly. Luci felt a little helpless, but she searched her mind for any knowledge she might have retained and tried to answer anyway. "Um… I don't know… I've only read about them, but, from what I understand, it's such dark magic that you can almost feel it in your gut when you're near one."

"That's what Hermione said," he muttered, confirming the brunette's involvement, "but I've never felt anything."

Her mouth fell open. "You've been in contact with Horcruxes before?" she asked, astounded.

"Two of them," Harry verified. "In my second year, there was this diary. Ginny got her hands on it, somehow."

At the mention of the stunning girl, Luci's stomach tightened with jealousy. She took a breath to relieve it.

He had continued, "We think it was Lucius Malfoy," – and Luci wanted to throw up – "but anyway, it ended up being Tom Riddle's old diary, from when he was at Hogwarts, and he was able to control Ginny with it. She released his basilisk and then he kidnapped her, and we had to go down there and save her."

Luci must have looked as dumbstruck as she felt, because Harry sighed, "It's a long story. But I destroyed the diary, and Dumbledore told me last year that it had been a Horcrux. But I was around it loads of times and I never felt anything."

Normally, as curious as she was, Luci would have wanted to know more, but it sounded like rescuing his beloved Ginny was of too much focus for her liking. So she prompted, "And the second?"

"Remember when I came back with that burn on my hand?"

She nodded.

"I'd found one. I don't even really know how – it was at Voldemort's orphanage – but it was this set of wings, and I had to chase it. And when I finally caught it, it burned me. I couldn't let go, so it ended up being pretty bad, I guess. But I didn't feel anything until I touched it. There was nothing warning me or anything."

"Maybe you have to be trained to know them," she muttered, almost to herself.

"There was one other that's been destroyed, but I was never actually physically around it. It was a ring that I saw in a Pensieve. So maybe I wouldn't have felt anything because it was someone else's memory. All I know is that I can't tell them apart from anything else unless I can get my hands on them. So I don't really know where to start."

He took a heavy, exhausted breath.

"Wow, I'm… totally blown away…" she managed, and then couldn't help herself. "You really are something, aren't you?"

Shaking his head, Harry looked away and focused on the carpet in front of him.

Despite the awkwardness that both of them were obviously feeling, Luci insisted, "Yes, you _are_, and now you're going to continue risking your life to find the remaining Horcruxes?"

"I have no choice," he said despairingly.

She didn't understand why he felt that way, but even more so, she didn't understand why he'd chosen this path in the first place. It was insane. It was… noble. She disagreed, "Of course you do. We _always_ have choices. _Your_ choice is to follow a difficult and dangerous path for the greater good." She took a breath. "That's… astonishing."

Harry didn't respond, but he fidgeted uncomfortably.

"I don't mean to embarrass you. I'm just in awe of you sometimes." She was really embarrassing herself, actually, but she _was_ engulfed in too much awe to think straight.

"You'll keep this between us, won't you?" he pleaded, meeting her eyes.

The tone of doubt wounded her slightly. "I thought dueling together was going to help you to trust me?" she asked a little sarcastically.

"It has," he replied softly. "That's why I've just told you all of this."

She felt better instantly. Good enough to kiss him. But she just breathed, "It's a lot."

"Yeah," he nodded.

As sincerely as possible, she promised, "You _can_ trust me, Harry."

He smiled just slightly, and she wondered if he believed her. Then he turned his eyes toward the ceiling. Luci followed his gaze. There were only a few bubbles left floating above them.

Since he was visibly exhausted, she offered, "I'll clean this up. Why don't you go to bed?"

"You're sure?" he asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Yes," she assured him. "Get some sleep. Tomorrow, you need to start thinking about leaving here again."

"I know," he sighed.

"We've been wasting precious time," she told him, feeling guilty for having been distracting him from his very important task. If she'd known, she wouldn't have been bothering him. And then she wouldn't be in this whole stupid crush mess. And they wouldn't know each other at all and things would be grand…

He cut into her thoughts. "I don't think it's been a waste of time at all."

Luci looked into his face, searching, and saw that he meant it. She couldn't help but beam. "Go to bed," she commanded lightheartedly.

"Yeah, yeah," he chuckled. "No need to get bossy."

"I didn't–" she shook her head apologetically.

"Kidding," he said, throwing his hands up. Then he gave her one last smile on his way out, and she could have melted into the floor.

She was in such terrible trouble.

Back in her room, she took out a quill and tried to write. She had considered writing to Josh, but she couldn't really confide in him about _this_. Amy was useless for anything not involving surface chatter. And Kristen had been the cause of this predicament. Well, okay, so she hadn't been the _cause_. But she had her own problems, and she never replied to letters anyway.

She wished that she had someone here to talk to. Fleur was the closest thing that she had to a friend, and the newlywed was blatantly in support of Harry marrying Ginny and having tons of perfect little babies in the traditional Weasley fashion.

Luci made a disgusted noise aloud at this image.

No, she would simply have to try to comfort herself.

* * *

The following day, Draco complained of nausea and stayed in bed most of the morning. Luci took this time to catch up on her own sleep, after making an appearance at the breakfast table, of course. She'd found that sleep was the only place that still made sense. In slumber, she didn't have to suppress her emotions or regulate her behaviors. She was still free and honest in her dreams, at least.

Her brother showed up for lunch, and after asking a few questions, Luci felt satisfied that he had actually had a stomachache. It was prudent to verify these things, considering that deceit ran in their veins.

He ate meagerly, and then went off with his mother to study whatever it was that dreadful woman was secretly teaching him. Luci had stopped caring, based solely on the fact that Draco seemed to tell her almost everything anyway.

Sitting in her own room, she was searching through a thick book that contained various remedies. She had been trying to find something for Harry's nightmares, but she'd had no luck as of yet. She was dog-earing a page of particular interest. This was when Severus Snape saw fit to show his face again.

Her fireplace gave a pop of announcement, and then he burred, "I've been attempting to contact you for several nights. Where have you been?"

Luci, almost grown accustomed to his lack of manners, sat herself before the hearth and answered, "I read at night in the drawing room. If you gave me some kind of schedule, perhaps I could make myself available at your whim?"

"Don't be insolent," he scolded, but his tone was indifferent. "What updates do you have for me?"

"Nothing of consequence, really. Though…" She stopped, feeling guilty for even wanting to mention it. But if anyone could provide assistance, it would be Severus.

"Yes?" he prompted, sounding irritated.

"I just…" She sighed. "Do you know anything about Voldemort making Horcruxes?"

Severus's head didn't seem at all surprised at her inquiry. "Did Albus inform you of this?"

Well, shit, she didn't consider having to reveal her source. She quickly thought up a viable explanation. The more she lied, the more efficient she became.

"I've been keeping my ears open," she explained. "I heard Hermione mention it."

She felt like such a fucking traitor. But if it helped Harry, it was worth it, wasn't it?

"Ah," responded Severus. "I had no confirmation until now, only suspicions. Knowing this, I can begin to investigate the Dark Lord's past. Perhaps I can… point you in the right direction?"

Luci smiled at him. "You're the best, Severus."

He grimaced. "Are there any other events to report?"

"Everything's going fine," she answered, shaking her head. "How are things on your end?"

"All is according to my intentions, thus far," was his vague reply.

"So the Dark Lord is still buying it?" she pried.

He ignored her and questioned, "And Mr. Malfoy?"

Luci could tell him that they were getting on splendidly and that she adored him. Instead, in an effort to conceal her love for her brother, she stated convincingly, "He continues to be insolent and aggravating, but I think I have a handle on things."

"Be patient with the boy," said Severus, in what she almost thought was a gentle tone. "He has not seen easy times."

"I know," she agreed. "I just want to keep him safe."

"And how is the proclaimed savior of the Wizarding world?" Severus spat distastefully.

"Harry?"

He gave a curt, bothered nod.

"Harry is… well, he's quite amazing, actually." Oh, god, what was she saying? She straightened her expression and went on, "I had _no_ idea. I just mean, he's very bright. That's all."

Severus narrowed his eyes at her, but merely sniffed, "He is an arrogant child. You'd do well to remember that."

"Oh, I don't think he's arrogant at all," she defended him, and then bit her tongue.

"I know him well, Miss Keegan," Severus almost growled. "Take my word."

She stuck up her nose and muttered, "Well, it's a difference of opinion."

"I find it very disconcerting that you have an opinion at all. Potter has been known to distract a female or two. I hope that you are not succumbing to this yourself. I would hate to see a supposed professional neglecting her duties in favor of some ridiculous infatuation."

"No, I'm not _distracted_," fumed Luci. "I have everything under control. Why don't you worry about _your_ job and I'll worry about _mine_?"

Before she could seethe at the fireplace any further, she heard a thump outside her door. Her heart skidded in her chest.

"I have to go!" she hissed at Severus.

He disappeared without another word.

Adrenaline pumping through her veins, Luci went slowly to her door, opened it, and peered outside. She glanced around anxiously, up and down the hall, but saw nothing.

"Hmm," she mumbled suspiciously before shutting herself back into her room.

She hoped that Severus would have the good sense to limit his visits to later hours, in the future.


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Holy Horcruxes

**Chapter Eighteen – Holy Horcruxes (corresponds with POTP Chapter 9)**

Indeed, Severus Snape showed up again that evening, just as Luci was about to head out the door to meet Harry.

"Miss Keegan," he greeted her, sounding breathless.

"Two visits in one day!" she said cheerfully. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I have no time for your antics," he snapped. "Do you have any estimate of how many?

"How many what?"

"You _know_ what," he hissed in exasperation.

"Six, I think," she answered, and he looked around frantically. "Why?"

"Has Potter found any of them yet?" Severus sounded panicked.

"Three have been taken care of," she answered slowly. "A ring, a book, and um… some kind of flying thing?"

"This is a good start," said the head, and then he was gone, leaving Luci feeling more culpable than ever.

Before meeting Harry, she headed down to the kitchen to get a cup of tea. To her surprise, Remus was sitting at one of the benches, a book open on the table before him.

He looked up when she entered and said softly, "Evening, Luci."

It was the first time she'd been alone with him since Fleur's wedding day, since she had crushed any confidence he may have had in her by running off with Charlie.

She cleared her throat. "Sorry, I just… I came for some tea."

"Please don't let me stop you. Why are you up so late?"

"I'm always up late," admitted Luci. "The mind churns."

She went to work putting on the kettle and locating the sugar, but continued, "Are _you_ always up so late?"

"No," he replied. "I'm working on a project for the late Headmaster."

"Aren't we all?" she muttered.

Remus sniggered appreciatively, and she turned to face him.

"This is really past due, but… I am _so_ sorry about disappearing for hours after the wedding and leaving you here… after you sent me off in such good faith. It was so irresponsible and I felt terrible for… for letting you down."

He took a deep breath. "You didn't let me down, Luci. You're an adult. I trust you to make conscientious decisions."

"Yeah, but I didn't," she sighed.

"True," he said with a tilt of his head. "And I confess that I was a bit taken aback by your behavior, but I'm sure that Molly gave you more reprimands than you could have possibly deserved. Besides, you're harder on yourself than anyone else could ever be."

"Except for Molly."

"Perhaps," smiled Remus.

The kettle whistled.

"Well, I still owed you an apology," Luci insisted as she poured the tea and stirred in a few lumps of sugar.

"Apology accepted," he assured her.

She grinned. "If they could all be as wonderful as you… Goodnight, Remus."

He nodded kindly to her, and she headed up the stairs, eager to get to the drawing room and begin another night of feeling alive.

"I was about to give up on you," Harry greeted her.

"I'm sorry," she breathed.

"Did you forget?" he grinned.

"No," laughed Luci. "I got to talking to Remus in the kitchen." She held up her teacup as proof.

"Oh. What about?"

"Small talk," she dismissed. "Now let's see if we can get you proficient on the Traitor Hex before I send you out into the world to fight evil."

His expression went to despair immediately.

"Oh, god, don't look like that," she moaned.

"Um," he frowned. "Sorry?"

"No, it's just… the spell isn't that bad, is it?"

"It's not the spell," he sighed. "It's the fighting evil part."

"Oh. Yeah, that part is shitty, isn't it?"

He nodded abjectly.

Luci didn't know what to say. She wouldn't trade places with him for the world. Yet, she wished that she could do something to make it better for him.

"I could kidnap you?" she suggested, and he frowned at her. "I mean, take you off to America and leave all this fighting evil stuff to someone else? It's the only idea I've got."

"I appreciate that…" he mumbled in bafflement. "But it's my responsibility. I can't run from it. Tempting as that sounds…"

He averted his eyes, and she cleared her throat, appalled at herself. Not knowing how to effectively reroute the conversation, she simply conjured the two pairs of mice again.

"Practice," she advised, and after giving her a perplexed nod, he set to work on the animals.

A few attempts later, Luci pulled up a chair to observe. She sipped her tea and watched him ardently. His glasses would slide down his nose every once in awhile, and he would push them back up, like second nature. He was wearing this intense expression, as though perfecting this hex could save the world. Luci knew that it couldn't. But was it true that _he_ could? This small boy, standing before her, with the blackest hair and the greenest eyes? And was it fair for him to be so young and to have so much on his shoulders? He'd never know what it was like to be a lighthearted teenager - going out with friends, drinking, discussing inconsequential topics, dating girls. Girls like Ginny. Perfect Ginny. Maybe even girls like Luci. But he could do better than her. He _had_ done better. She nearly sighed aloud. He was so dazzling and she just wanted to touch him…

Eventually, he interrupted her ponderings and cheered, "I did it!"

Luci took her eyes from his face to confirm that the mice really were sparring with their partners.

"There you go!" she applauded him, shaking her head to clear her haze. "Nice job. Bit more difficult on humans, of course, but I don't think you'll have a problem."

A snapping noise cut off the end of her sentence. She whirled around, terrified that Severus might have appeared somewhere, looking for her again. Instead, before them, stood a house elf.

The creature grinned upon noticing them and squeaked, "Dobby has a message from Miss Granger, sir, for Harry Potter, sir."

Luci, bewildered, narrowed her eyes at Harry, who was taking a folded piece of parchment from the elf.

"Thanks, Dobby," he said.

This Dobby bowed submissively, his face nearly grazing the carpet. "It is my honor and pleasure, Harry Potter, sir."

Harry was already reading the letter, and he was smiling slightly. Luci was dying to know.

But then something else caught her attention. She was noticing this odd stirring of foreboding in the pit of her stomach. It was almost like sensing that you were being watched. She looked around the room, and her gaze was finally drawn to the object of her discontent.

The elf was now inquiring, "Is it good news, sir?"

Harry responded, "Yes, thanks for bringing this."

"I'm sorry," Luci exploded, hopping to her feet and addressing the elf. "_Dobby_, is it?"

The creature gazed warily at her but didn't answer.

"What's that around your neck?"

Dobby took an odd little stumble backwards and clutched at what appeared to be a locket of some sort, tucking it away beneath his clothing.

"I just want a peek…" she assured gently, making a cautious advance on him.

The elf was shaking his head, almost maniacally, but Harry cut in, "Let her see it, Dobby."

He gave Harry a look of horror and betrayal, but after a few moments, revealed the necklace once more.

Beside her, Harry sucked in an illustrative gulp of air.

Luci glanced at him. "Do you know what it is?"

He affirmatively bobbed his head.

"Really, really bad vibes coming from that thing…" She pressed her lips together. "Dobby, I'd better take that."

The house elf gasped, shrieked, "No!" and glared hatefully at Luci. She recoiled.

But Harry took a step forward. "Give it to me."

Luci watched, stunned, as Dobby reluctantly removed the trinket from around his neck and surrendered it to Harry.

But as soon as he'd taken it, Harry cried out and tossed it heatedly onto the table next to him.

She moved to him instantly. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, but he didn't take his eyes off of the locket. She noticed that he was grasping his hand and hissing softly.

Then he questioned, "Dobby, where did you get this?"

The creature was quaking almost violently, and Luci felt sorry for it.

"Dobby won it, Harry Potter, sir, fair and square."

"You _won_ it?"

Dobby jerked in what Luci thought might be a nod before answering, "From the nasty Kreacher, sir."

Harry gaped. "Kreacher had this?"

The elf gave another jolt of confirmation. "Dobby has helped Harry Potter, sir?"

"Yes, Dobby," said Harry slowly, fixated on the necklace, "you've helped me."

Luci almost tumbled backwards when Dobby gave a deafening screech of apparent victory. Then he Apparated from the spot, and she was sure that someone would hear all of this commotion and come looking for answers.

No one appeared, however, and she turned her eyes to the item on the table.

She felt Harry looking at her, and she asked him, "Is it a…?"

He gave a small tilt of his head to avow.

Luci sucked in a breath. "Holy Horcruxes, Harry."

He raised his eyebrows at her.

"It was a joke," she clarified with a grin.

Puzzled, he puckered his brow.

"Not the time for jokes…" she muttered, disheartened, "okay…"

Harry sighed. "What do I do with it?"

She looked up at him and bit her lip in contemplation. "You haven't told anyone else about this hunt of yours?"

He shook his head and added, "But Moody suspects."

This wasn't good news. If Alastor seemed to suspect, it was pretty much guaranteed that he knew every single detail.

"Did it burn you when you touched it?" Luci asked Harry. "Like the wings?"

In lieu of an answer, he revealed his palm to her. She didn't even try to stop herself from cradling his hand in her own. Her stomach soared from the contact, but she forced herself to focus on his skin, which was definitely inflamed with the effects of that creepy necklace.

"That'll heal in a few days," she decided, dropping his hand and looking up at him. His eyes were closed. She frowned. "You okay?"

"Uh huh," he answered hoarsely, his lids opening.

He must be exhausted, she thought pityingly to herself. And he needed to get this item to Dumbledore's portrait for inspection. But perhaps it could wait until tomorrow.

She slipped her arms out of her sweater and picked up the locket. She almost expected it to singe her, as well, ridiculous as was the thought. Wrapping the necklace in the cloth to prevent it from burning Harry again, she wondered what power it had over only him.

He was watching her. "It doesn't burn _you_?"

"I think they burn you because of the connection you have to Voldemort," reflected Luci. "Horcruxes appear as nothing more than inanimate objects to anyone who doesn't know better."

"The diary never burned me."

She considered for a moment. "Yes, but didn't Riddle _want_ you to read it? He would have removed any enchantments that might harm you, maybe?" she speculated.

"I think you know where to take this," she continued, delivering the bundle into his arms.

Shaking his head, he gave her a questioning look.

There was no misunderstanding her insinuation. The only reason for his confusion could be… She gasped. "You haven't opened your birthday present yet?"

"What?" he blinked.

"The one that I gave you," she explained in vexation.

"I…" began Harry sheepishly. "I forgot."

"You… _forgot_?" gawped Luci.

He waved his hands feebly. "Yeah, I just…"

But she cut him off, "You've had a lot on your mind, I know. Never mind. You should open it."

Harry's eyes grew wide. "But I did! It's just a useless key!"

She stared in disbelief. "Look in the _box_," she instructed slowly.

He shrugged. "Okay…"

"Look in the box," she went on, "and you'll know what to do with the Horcrux."

He rushed out, and it was all Luci could do to keep up with him. She followed him to his room, where he flung open the door, ignited a light, and began searching beneath his mattress. He retrieved the box quickly, and she observed from the doorframe as he sat down and opened the lid. He laid the little red key aside and dug to the bottom, pulling out a crinkled piece of paper.

As he read it, Luci wondered what Dumbledore had written. All she knew was that the key could unlock the Headmistress's office.

After a moment, Harry's mouth fell open, and he met Luci's gaze. "Where did you get this? Is this _really_ from…"

She nodded.

He nearly squinted at her. "How did you…?"

"Let's just say that I've had the pleasure of visiting Hogwarts," she answered with a small smile.

"I…" choked Harry. "But I can't get into Hogwarts!"

"You were supposed to go with everyone else for the beginning of the term."

Sighing, Harry said, "Right, but I _didn't_, so how am I supposed to get in _now_?"

It was a good question. She hadn't considered it. She could only think of one solution...

He must have noticed her having come to a conclusion, because he demanded, "Just tell me."

"I have a Professor's Pass," she divulged after a second's hesitation.

Harry furrowed his brow. "Why?"

"Well," she began slowly, "I needed to get this key for you, didn't I?"

"You're hiding a lot of things from me, aren't you?" he accused her crossly.

Perhaps she hadn't become as good at lying as she'd thought. Or perhaps she just couldn't bear to lie to _him_… She inhaled heavily.

He huffed. "Luci, I've told you _everything_!"

It was true. He'd revealed things that he probably shouldn't have. She wasn't sure how to answer him. She could tell that his temper was rising. She simply replied, "I know, but these are not entirely _my_ secrets to tell."

"Do I even know you at all?" he fumed.

Luci lost her balance, stunned as she was, and clutched the frame of the door. Even in expectation of his anger, she'd been unprepared for how it felt when it had hit her.

"Harry, you have to understand…" But she trailed off, because she had no excuses.

"_What_ do I have to understand?" he snarled. "Your inability to tell me the truth?"

It probably shouldn't hurt this badly. It scared her how much it hurt.

"There are just some things about me that I can't tell you," she managed. "And if you can't handle that, then maybe we shouldn't be friends."

God, what a ridiculous thing to say! Of course she wanted them to be friends…

"But, yes, you know who I am," she promised. "I've always been myself with you."

She felt burdened to make him understand, to prove that she'd opened up to him and wanted to continue doing so…

"Who were you talking to in your room?" he surprised her again.

She was confused for a brief moment, but then she realized that it had been Harry outside her door that afternoon when she'd heard a noise. Suddenly, she was furious.

"Are you _spying_ on me?" she seethed.

He looked taken aback. "No, it was an accident."

"I can't _believe_ you."

Luci may have lied about a few things, but Harry had obviously lied about trusting her.

Confirming this, he went on, "Who was it?"

She took a deep breath. "Would it help if I told you that it doesn't affect you?"

"No," he said stubbornly. "I want to know."

Luci would have happily given him the answer that he wanted, if she wasn't certain that it would enrage him beyond repair.

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you."

"I'll need that pass," glowered Harry with finality. "I'm leaving."

_Not like this_, she pleaded internally, feeling nothing now but heartbreak.

"Forgive me, Harry," she attempted, hoping frantically that he would.

But he just snapped, "I need to go."

Unable to face him any longer, she scuttled off to get the Pass. She was gritting her teeth as hard as she could to keep from crying. She knew that spending this much time with him had been a terrible idea, but her real mistake had been enjoying it so much. Because now, it was over. And the hatred that she had dreaded from him was finally rearing its head.

The Pass was in her desk drawer, and she had retrieved it quickly, but now she was standing there, holding it, not wanting to move, not wanting to return to that emotion in Harry's eyes…

She forced her legs to carry her back to him. She found him tugging on a pair of trainers. He hadn't noticed that she'd reappeared, so she mumbled, "Um… here."

He glanced up angrily. "You can leave it on the bed and go."

"Harry…" she whimpered, crushed.

"I don't have time, Luci."

"But you're worn out," she beseeched. "This can wait."

He snarled, "I'm done talking to you."

Luci thought something must have broken inside of her.

She quickly composed herself and surrendered, "All right."

Then she left him, wondering if she'd ever see him again, and thinking that it was probably better if she didn't.


	19. Chapter Nineteen: The Dream

**Chapter Nineteen – The Dream (corresponds with POTP Chapter 13)**

Back in her room, Luci couldn't stop herself from relentlessly going over the conversation in her head. If she'd only just… But she didn't know what she could have done. If only _he_ hadn't eavesdropped. Yes, that was it. Then maybe everything would be okay. Instead, he was off to Hogwarts by himself and who knew what kind of trouble he'd get into now.

Suddenly, it occurred to her that perhaps she should warn Dumbledore that Harry was coming, if only to assure that the Headmistress was not in her office at the time. It was unlikely, considering the hour, but if Minerva got wind of people sneaking in and out of her private chambers at will…

Luci quickly went for her jar of Floo powder and tossed a handful into her hearth. Then, she conjured the office into the forefront of her mind and slowly thrust her face into the cloud of dust.

When she opened her eyes, she could see the outline of the room, but the area was dim. There were merely shadows of the desk and the chairs, and a few other items catching bits of moon light through the windows.

"Professor Dumbledore?" she hissed into the darkness.

"Luci!" he answered merrily, though she couldn't make out anything more than his frame. "What an odd occasion for a visit!"

"Harry's on his way," she continued hurriedly.

The lights came on, and she was startled, thinking someone had entered. But the room remained empty.

"Curious," said Dumbledore. "He is a bit delayed."

"Yeah, well, he didn't get the message until now. He's going to want some answers."

"None of which you gave him, I assume?"

"No," snapped Luci, "because he hates me."

"_Hates_ you? I find that unlikely." The portrait looked thoughtful.

"He'll join the big club," she muttered.

"Why did you choose the Floo Network this time?" he inquired.

"What?"

"Previously, you came via Muggle fashion."

"Harry has my Pass."

"I see. So you have advised him, as I asked, despite your anger towards me?"

"I'm not…" Luci started breathlessly, and then, "Okay, it makes me a little angry to be used to further your agenda."

"Oh, no, not _my_ agenda, dear girl. You are serving the entire world, Muggle and wizard alike."

His eyes were twinkling. It was barely noticeable from her place in the hearth, but she caught it.

"Well, that just makes me feel guilty for being angry in the first place," she said in exasperation. "Whatever it is, here I am doing it."

"I hope you will forgive me for the demands that I've made upon you," he replied very sincerely.

She sighed in defeat. In truth, she was happy in London, spending time with her brother and with… _him_. And she should probably thank Dumbledore for it.

Instead, she replied, "I'll forgive you if you'll forgive me."

"Whatever for?"

"Being rude, if nothing else."

The portrait smiled. "Done."

At that moment, the door opened, and Luci immediately withdrew her head.

* * *

When Luci awoke the next morning, she laid in bed for a long while, meditating. It took all of her concentration to pull her mask out of its rubble and fasten it into place.

What had happened with Harry had really wrecked her, she'd realized. She didn't know why. All she was sure of now was that she couldn't allow it to show.

Downstairs in the kitchen, the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place were once again in an absolute tizzy over Harry disappearing for a second time.

"I've already checked his room, Molly!" Tonks was bellowing.

Finally, Alastor noticed that Luci had entered the room, and he called her name. Of course, that caused everyone in the kitchen to turn their eyes to her. She straightened.

"Harry seems to have taken off again," Alastor continued. "Would you happen to know where he's gone this time?"

Luci sighed. "He went to Hogwarts. He's safe."

"He isn't _safe_!" squealed Molly.

Kingsley Shacklebolt shushed her before commenting, "It is probably best that the boy be at school anyhow."

The Weasley matron took an indignant gulp of air. "But I thought we'd all decided that he'd be less… vulnerable here? Where I can keep an eye on him?"

"I agree that it's probably less risky for him to be here," contributed Arthur. "But he'll be happier at Hogwarts. His friends are there. He's been miserable and bored to death here."

Luci wondered dejectedly if perhaps this was true, and that Harry had been anxious to get away from this place. She certainly had, before he'd come along and brightened everything. But she hadn't brightened anything for him. So of course he'd be thrilled to be out of here.

So would she, at the moment. The members of the Order were still debating what was best for Harry. Luci thought that Harry should probably have a say, but since he was a national treasure and all, she supposed that was out of the question.

Molly cut into her thoughts. "How do _you_ always know where he's off to?"

Luci looked back at her, triumphant at the sound of resentment in the woman's voice. "He tells me."

Everyone was peering curiously at her, and she wondered if she should have kept her mouth shut.

"I would appreciate if you would refrain from spending time with Harry," Molly went on sourly.

"I'd say that's up to Harry," replied Luci cheekily.

Then she traipsed from the room, feeling half victorious and half troubled, because it _had_ been up to Harry, and he'd made his choice.

* * *

Later that evening, after everyone had finished dinner, Luci and Draco were playing a game of chess in her room.

"You're rubbish tonight," commented Draco, after Luci tried to move one of her rooks diagonally.

"Yeah, sorry," she sighed, returning it to its previous square and choosing another piece.

"It's not the curriculum planning again, is it?"

He sounded a little concerned, and she chuckled. "No. I just have this kind of ominous feeling."

"In regards to what?" asked her brother before putting her king in check.

_In regards to Harry_, she thought to herself. And it was true. She felt worried about him, and she didn't know why. Though she was also still very upset that their friendship was over. God, she was going to miss him…

But she shrugged at Draco and replied, "I'm not sure."

"I hope everything is going well with the Death Eaters," he said, and then, "Checkmate."

Luci groaned at his win and ignored his remark.

"What do you expect?" teased her brother. "You have to be spot on to even have a chance against me, and though you usually are –"

At that moment, the door flew open, and Tonks was standing there, looking alarmed.

"The Death Eaters have attacked Hogwarts!" she exclaimed before hurrying back the way she'd came.

Luci was on her feet immediately, in pursuit, and she heard her brother on her heels.

In the kitchen, frantic voices were all mingled together. Luci could see Minerva standing on the other side of the room, waving her hands to quiet everyone.

And then, Alastor grumbled, "SILENCE!" into the small crowd, and all of the questioning ceased.

"Thank you, Alastor," said Minerva wearily. "I don't have long, and much has occurred."

"I hope someone killed Potter," whispered Draco from behind Luci, and it threw her into sudden horror. But she could only shove her elbow into his stomach.

"Ow!" he hissed, but didn't say anything more.

"Tell me the children are all right," Molly was pleading, and for once, Luci was in total harmony with the woman.

"Every single student is just fine," confirmed Minerva, and Luci felt like crying for joy. "But we've lost…" She sniffed and finished, "Pomona and… and Hagrid."

The room erupted again, but Luci didn't know either of these people. All she remembered was Harry mentioning Hagrid, the gamekeeper, with absolute fondness. Funny enough, Draco always referred to the man with disgust. And to her dismay, she saw that her brother was smiling.

But Minerva had continued shakily, "The only thing I know to do is close the school. I'll be sending the students home tomorrow morning."

Remus raised his hand at half-mast, to draw attention to himself, and suggested, "Don't you think there should be some kind of… service? So that they might say farewell to their professors?"

There was a moment of silence while the Headmistress considered the proposal. Finally, she agreed, "Yes, very well. Students shall be allowed to stay for a service."

Then she turned to Luci, who was, under her sudden gaze, a bit taken aback.

"Miss Keegan, Hagrid was to return this to you." Minerva held out the Professors Pass.

"But…" choked Luci, stepping forward and retrieving the medallion from the Headmistress's wrinkled hand.

"Please see that Harry doesn't use this to sneak into my office again," Minerva frowned at her. "Now I must return to the school and send out notices to all of the parents."

And she was gone.

No one spoke for a couple of seconds.

But then Draco huffed, "I don't see what all the fuss is about," and plodded from the room.

Luci felt her cheeks turn red for shame of her brother. She looked around the room, muttered, "Sorry about him. He doesn't mean it."

Then she hurried to catch up with him.

"Hey," she snapped, barging into his room. Narcissa was already there.

"Were you never taught to knock?" the woman hissed.

Luci clenched her jaw. "Can I talk to Draco? Alone?"

"No."

She turned her eyes pleadingly for her brother's permission instead.

"It's all right, Mother," he allowed.

Narcissa looked put out, but she patted his shoulder lovingly. "It's wonderful news," she cooed. And then she left the room.

"Wonderful news?" gaped Luci.

"We've hated that Half-Blood animal for years," Draco said nonchalantly.

"He wasn't an… _animal_." She could hardly believe what she was hearing.

"You never even met him! He was only half human. So that's at least _half_ animal."

Her brother was sneering, and she could only muster, "But it was a _life_. A _life_ is gone. _Two_, in fact. And you're… _happy_?"

He shrugged.

Luci scoffed. "I don't even know who you are right now."

Narrowing his eyes, Draco shot, "I could say the same. The death of a Mudblood of any kind is always a triumph."

She sucked on the insides of her cheeks for a moment before strangling, "I can't look at you anymore," and darting from his presence.

_

* * *

_

He was silent, but his shoulders were shaking. Was he crying?

_Luci moved towards him, touched the small of his back gently. He turned to face her, not at all surprised by her being there._

_She looked up into his wounded green eyes, and he whimpered, "Hagrid."_

"_I know," she said softly._

_He fell against her, and she stroked the nape of his neck lovingly._

"_And it's my fault," he muttered into her hair._

_She pulled away, only slightly, and shook her head at him._

"_Of course it's not your fault!"_

_He blinked, and then he leaned down and kissed her. Kissed her hungrily._

_Then he pushed her onto the bed, the bed that hadn't been there just moments ago…_

_They were tearing at each other's clothing, their breathing coming low and fast, and she was engulfed in flames that licked at her skin…_

She awoke with a start. After a dream like that, she expected to be sweating or at least breathing heavily in actuality. But she wasn't. She sat up, her mind still foggy, his face still swimming behind her eyelids. She wanted to hold onto the reverie, to fall back into it, but it was slipping away as consciousness crept in on her.

What did this mean? She had discovered this silly little crush on Harry… But she'd never dreamt about him this way. She'd had innocent dreams, sure, like the one where he was asking her if he should start wearing a top hat. But _this_ dream… She had hurt _for_ him, experienced his misery, longed to comfort him. And then…

Her heart was racing.

"Just fucking great," she muttered aloud to herself.

She had to push it out and it would go away. Except that she didn't want it to…

She wanted to see him. Talk to him. Touch him.

She growled aloud.

She should send an owl to him.

Except that he wouldn't want to hear from her. Ever again, she was sure. But she wanted… just some kind of contact with him. So she swallowed every ounce of pride, everything that was telling her to leave him alone, and rolled out of her bed.

Igniting a lamp on the desk, Luci retrieved a piece of parchment and her silver quill. She dipped the point lightly into the inkpot and poised it over the paper. Her hand was shaking.

"Stop it," she told herself. "Now. How to begin?"

Should she say, "Dear Harry," or something less obvious?

She chose simply, "Harry," writing each letter of his name slowly, trying to forget how his lips had felt in her dream…

She shook her head and continued.

"_Minerva told us what happened. I'm SO sorry about Hagrid! I understand that you were close to him. Please give Ron and Hermione my sympathies, as well. You know I'd do anything for you so let me know–_"

No, scratch that. Something more formal.

"_And if there's anything that I can do for any of you, please let me know. Really. Anything._"

She read the paragraph over a few times. Why did she need so much for it to sound perfect?

Part of her wanted to write, "I've just had a lovely provocative dream about you and would like very much to act it out, if you're up for it." But, of course, that was asinine.

_You're sending a letter to his_ school, _you idiot_, she scolded herself. _Because he's a_ student, _and he is way out of bounds. Pull yourself together. Besides, he's just lost someone, and you should be focusing on consoling him._

Yes, because he probably needed consoling. He'd have Ron and Hermione and stupid Ginny. But if Luci knew him at all, and she liked to think that she did, she was sure that he was feeling accountable for the attack.

She began another paragraph.

"_And I hope that you aren't blaming yourself for any of this, Harry. Terrible things happen, albeit with strange frequency, but they are not your fault. Trust me. I know what a wonderful person you–_"

Scratching out the entire last sentence, she sighed.

"_The Pass was returned to me, but I'm sending it back to you, even if I've been practically _commanded_ not to by a stern woman that we all know so well... I understand that Hagrid was supposed to bring it to me, before it all happened. You'll have to explain to me how you lost track of it._"

Straightforward, to the point. A completely innocent paragraph. Even though she'd almost printed, "I wish I were there with you."

"_Somehow, it's dreary here without your presence. I miss you._"

She considered omitting it all, but then simply scribbled over that final line.

"_And I'm pretty bored, to tell you the truth, so I hope you'll return soon. But even though the school is supposedly closing for the time being, I have a feeling that I won't be seeing you for a while, so please take care of yourself._"

That was platonic enough, wasn't it? Luci hoped that it implied that she wasn't anxious to see him. She knew that he had a lot to do and would probably want to stay away from Grimmauld Place, and her, for as long as he could.

She was preparing to sign the letter when she decided that she couldn't ignore their last conversation. She had refused to tell him why she had the Professor's Pass, and he had accused her of being a rotten liar. It was very nearly possible that he hated her, at this point. The notion made her stomach churn unpleasantly. But if she was going to send this, she needed to acknowledge that she remembered all of the above very well.

She concluded, "_And I want you to know that I hate the way that we left things. __–Luci__"_

She had toyed with, "Yours, Luci," or some such intimacy, but had emphatically talked herself out of it.

Hedwig was sitting on the windowsill of the room that Harry shared with Ron. The breathtaking owl watched Luci curiously as she stepped into the room.

"Hi Hedwig," she said.

The snowy bird made a small chirrup.

"Will you take this to Harry for me? I know we don't know each other very well yet, but–"

Before she had finished the sentence, Hedwig had extended her right leg in reception.

Luci smiled and stroked her affectionately on the head. "So smart. Thank you, you beautiful girl. And be sure to give him a little extra love. He's had a rough night."

The owl almost seemed to nod in concurrence as Luci attached the parchment. Then she gave a warm hoot and soared into the night sky.


	20. Chapter Twenty: Found Out

**Chapter Twenty – Found Out (corresponds with POTP Chapter 14)**

Luci hadn't slept much. She'd been kept awake, wondering if sending that letter to Harry had been a mistake, and also ruminating over the fight that she'd had with Draco. She knew that she had to fix things, probably in both cases.

So she rose early, dressed, ran a comb through her hair, and went to her brother's door. It took him a long while to answer, but when the door creaked open, she saw that he was bleary-eyed and wearing his robe.

"It's bloody early, Luci," he griped.

"I know," she began hesitantly. "I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you before breakfast."

He frowned and stepped away from the door. "What about?"

Luci entered the room and closed the two of them inside.

"Last night."

Draco grimaced. "About how you basically said that I repulse you?"

She bit her lip. "Draco… I'm just. God. I'm sorry I said it."

She felt like he owed her an apology as much as she owed him one. But she knew that she wouldn't get it.

He sat down on his bed and looked closely at her. "But you meant it."

"It… scared me a little," she said quietly, "that those deaths didn't bother you at all."

"That an–" Draco gritted his teeth and started again. "_Hagrid_ made my life miserable at school."

He'd told her a few stories, one about how his arm had been broken in some kind of encounter with a Hippogriff, a creature that shouldn't be anywhere near a school anyway.

"And why did it scare you?" her brother went on.

"Because I worry about you," answered Luci with a little too much affection.

Draco smiled softly. "Well, you don't have to. The Malfoys may be down on our luck for the moment, but eventually, the Dark Lord will rise again and he'll get my father out of prison and we'll have our power back."

God, she hoped that none of that would happen. But she couldn't manage any words.

"You don't look happy about it," he commented. "And it scares _me_ a little that you're so sympathetic to half-breeds."

"It's not… _sympathy_," she sighed. "I guess I'm just newer at this than you are."

She hated the lies. She wanted to tell Draco that she was on the good side, and that she wanted him to join her. But she couldn't.

"You'll get tougher," he assured her. Then he got to his feet again. "Does that mean we've made it up then?"

Luci let herself smile. "For now."

He grinned back. "Good. Mind if I get dressed? I'm starving."

"Oh," she nodded. "Yeah. Sure."

But on her way out of his room, she couldn't help turning again.

"Draco?"

"Yeah?"

"I hope that you'll realize someday that you're more than your father's son. More than a Malfoy. And… and that you can make your own decisions and a better future… and… That's all, I guess."

Her brother's brow was furrowed, but she hurried away before he could have any other reaction.

* * *

The house was empty for most of the day. All of the members of the Order had gone to Hogwarts to attend the service for the two slain professors. Only Molly remained, and she watched the Malfoys like a hawk throughout both breakfast and lunch.

In the afternoon, however, everyone must have returned, with Ginny in tow. Luci only knew about the red-haired girl's presence because she'd seen her on the staircase briefly before heading into Draco's room. But there was no sign of Harry, Ron, or Hermione. Luci imagined that, because of this, the Order was probably calling in reinforcements to calm Molly down. But the Malfoys stayed upstairs and out of the way.

The two of them were still in Draco's room, hours later, studying a ridiculously tedious Herbology book, when they heard a loud commotion downstairs.

Luci shared an annoyed expression with her brother.

"Never stays dull for long," she observed before following him out to the landing.

It was just soon enough to hear Ginny whining, "Oh, Hermione, your hair!"

Looking down, Luci searched for the brunette, wondering what could have happened. Instead, her gaze fell on Harry, and their eyes locked. Her blood began to rush, and she gave him a tentative raise of her eyebrows. But he revealed nothing in return before he was forced into the kitchen by Molly. Luci's heart sank. Maybe the letter _had_ been a bit too presumptuous…

The uproar continued in the kitchen, but Luci didn't care anymore. She simply muttered, "Come on, Draco," and led him back into his room.

"Fantastic," he grumbled, when the door was closed. "Potter and his gang are back to make our lives miserable."

She took a deep breath. "I think our lives are miserable in either case."

"Damn right," complained her brother.

* * *

At dinner, Luci was surprised to see Kingsley and Alastor at the table. They rarely shared meals in the house. She wondered if there was something going on of which they didn't inform her. It wouldn't be a surprise, especially since she'd been disinterested in their business all day long.

It turned out, though, that everyone seemed to be gathered merely to mourn the death of Hagrid. The Malfoys sat silently at their end of the table as everyone else swapped stories.

Hermione was sniffling quietly as Molly was leveling out her hair. Luci was watching and wondering if the emotion was due to the loss of Hagrid or to the loss of her hair. That was when she heard glass breaking. She looked around to see her brother leaping to his feet next to her. A bottle of Butterbeer seemed to have toppled over and shattered. She, too, stood to avoid the amber liquid that was puddling towards her.

"Clumsy" Draco hissed at Tonks, who had apparently put the drink before him. And as he was covered in the sticky fluid, he marched from the room, Narcissa on his heels.

Luci, shaking her head at the mother who couldn't let her son clean himself up, began to gather the pieces of glass in front of her.

Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain, yelped, "Ow!" and dropped the responsible shard.

Harry was instantly beside her, before she'd even known what was happening. It confused her.

On her other side stood Alastor, demanding, "Let me see."

"No, no, I'm fine," she tried to deflect, knowing that the small cut was completely closed by this point and that she'd never be able to explain it. "Really, it's fine."

Alastor insisted, "Let me see it," once again.

"There's nothing to see," she claimed composedly, revealing her blood-stained palm and hoping that he couldn't tell that there was no wound.

Harry was staring very fixedly at her hand, and so was Alastor, the latter of whom then met her eyes, and Luci knew that he'd found her out.

She pulled her arm back towards her body, closing her hand, and said, "Just a tiny cut."

"I'm sorry, Luci," Tonks said from behind her. "I was conjuring the bottles a little haphazardly, I'm afraid."

Luci shook her head. "No, _I'm_ sorry. Sometimes, I forget that there's magic for these things."

"You'd better get that cleaned up," Alastor suggested with a significant frown.

Without another word, and without acknowledging Harry, Luci took her chance to flee.

It wasn't an hour later that she had a knock at her door. Upon opening it, she found Alastor leaning uncomfortably against the doorframe.

"A word, Miss Keegan?" he inquired gruffly.

"You'd better come in then," Luci sighed.

She closed the door behind him, and he began immediately.

"May I see the hand again?"

Luci bit her lip, but she extended her palm out to him once more. He didn't touch her, but studied it closely. The skin was flawless.

"Regeneration?" he asked with his eyebrows raised.

She nodded.

"How?"

"It's kind of a long and horrible story," she said abjectly. "I'd rather not talk about it. It happened when I was young. It's not dark magic or anything."

Alastor gave a slow tilt of his head, as if this answer satisfied him.

"It was important for me to know," he said gently. "To be sure that it _wasn't_ something… dark. You understand?"

"Yes. But if you could… keep it to yourself, please?"

His lips curled up slightly. "No one keeps a secret better than I. But you should be more careful."

"I know," she agreed.

"It's a wonderful gift," he mentioned on his way out.

Luci scowled. "No, it isn't, believe me."

Alastor shook his head. "You may feel differently someday. Goodnight, Miss Keegan."

* * *

When the house was quiet, and she was sure that everyone was in bed, Luci crept out of her room and onto the landing. Darkness engulfed her. She lit her wand and followed its glow into the drawing room, where she ignited a lamp. Then she settled into the couch with a fictional book. She felt like she deserved some fiction.

Of course, she was waiting for Harry, hoping against hope that now that he was back, he might want to return to their nights together.

She fell asleep there, and her past began to haunt her again.

"_No one will miss me," she was telling herself. "I'm different. From everyone. And no one likes me. And no one ever will. And no one will care if I'm gone."_

_She felt the same pain, the same despair, the same hopelessness, loneliness as before. She just wanted it to go away._

_She looked up into the mirror and saw her thirteen-year-old face staring back, her grey eyes reddened, her pale cheeks flushed, her short blonde hair matted against her forehead._

"_No one will miss you," she told the mirror._

_Then she could feel the cold steel against her left wrist. She sensed the powerful vein pumping beneath the blade. She looked down, just in time to see the knife slice through her delicate skin, pouring her scarlet blood almost everywhere._

_Now for the right wrist. This one bled more._

_She heard the blade's dull thud as it hit the linoleum. Then she could feel her cheek against that same floor, and it was cold, but the rest of her felt warm as the life was driven from her veins._

_She pulled her arms up to her face to watch the blood drain. But something was happening. Something painful. And the flow was ceasing._

"_NO!" she screamed at her wrists._

_Seizing the knife, she slashed at them again._

_But this time, the wounds began to close almost instantly._

"_Fuck!" she hissed. "WHY?"_

_No matter how many times she tried, her skin healed itself._

_She collapsed into a ball on the bathroom floor, sobbing._

And she awoke that way, covered in tears and sweat.

She inhaled a deep, piercing breath.

"No one will miss me," she choked aloud.

* * *

The next few days, the memories of her suicide attempt continued to plague her. She didn't know why. Perhaps because she'd almost had to explain it to someone.

And every night, she was in the drawing room, waiting. It was pathetic, and she knew it. Especially because Harry never came.

Even during the day, when Luci would see him at meals, he didn't acknowledge her. He laughed and chatted with Hermione and Ron, and especially Ginny, who somehow seemed to be growing prettier with each day.

Luci, however, was growing more dejected with each day.

There was nothing in the world that she wanted more than for him to just look her way… She felt entirely invisible to him. And he was the only one that she really needed to see her. But he didn't.

He'd seen her once, though, hadn't he? What had happened? How had she dissolved like this?

She didn't know how she'd become so weak either. She couldn't stop thinking about touching him. Just to feel a brush of his hand… And the dreams were getting worse. There hadn't been anything even remotely like this in so long that she couldn't remember. And she hated it.

Luci did everything that she could to take her mind off of him. She read, studied, and spent time with Draco. She wrote a letter to Josh about the suicide nightmares she was having. He was the only one who would understand. She'd even tried calling Kristen once, but there had been no answer. She'd ended up calling her mother instead and sobbing like a child about how she wanted to come home.

Now, it was Saturday, and she was leaning towards finding another place to take Draco and his mother. She was planning to use the Floo Network today and ask Dumbledore's portrait if there were any other options. Even if she had to embarrass herself and tell him her reasons.

At the breakfast table, she brought up the subject to Draco.

"God, I'd do _anything_ to get out here!" he said enthusiastically.

"So would I," she concurred, indicating that he should bring his voice down. "I'm going to see what I can do."

"But didn't Snape choose this place?" asked her brother quietly.

"At the time, I could think of many other options," contributed Narcissa. "Of course, there are only a few left. We could stay with my sister."

"No," hissed Luci. "No Bellatrix. And it freaks me out that we're on the same side for once."

The woman gave a small shrug. "As much as I loathe you, we are both here to protect Draco."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here," nagged her son. "And if not my aunt's place, then where?"

Luci took a breath, hesitant to reveal her idea. "I'm… I'm looking into a way to basically create another Grimmauld Place. Somewhere else. Another kind of safe house. I have to do more reading."

"Brilliant!" grinned Draco. "Can we have a Quidditch pitch?"

She smiled. "I know you miss it. Any kind of outdoors would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Hardly," groaned Narcissa. "I hate the sunlight."

"Of course, you do, Mother," laughed Draco.

She huffed, and Luci giggled, her hopes raised. They were both in agreement. Now all she had to do was figured out how to get them out of this hellhole.

"Ready to tackle some Potions?" she asked her brother, pushing her plate aside and getting to her feet.

"Might as well," he muttered lazily, standing too. Narcissa rose almost in unison with him.

Luci was dropping her napkin next to her plate when she noticed Harry coming towards her. She averted her eyes, imagining he'd walk past her without acknowledgement, as was usual lately.

But then he was next to her, asking, "Can I talk to you?"


	21. Chapter TwentyOne: Oblivion

**Chapter Twenty-One – Oblivion (corresponds with POTP Chapter 14 & 15)**

Luci's pulse was racing, and she could only gawp at Harry. Why was he speaking to her now? After all this time? And with Draco and his mother right here?

Her brother stepped up on her other side. "What could you possibly have to say to her?"

It was a good question.

Harry glared at him. "That's none of your business."

"She doesn't want to talk to you, do you, Luci?"

Even Narcissa added, "Of course, she doesn't."

Luci couldn't think of anything she wanted _more_ than to talk to Harry. Except that he'd been such a jerk to her. And it really didn't look good if she accepted the invitation.

So, in order to show her disinterest both to Harry and to her brother, she spat, "I have better things to do, so make it quick."

"_What_?" exclaimed Draco.

Luci turned to him, legitimately looking annoyed at the whole situation. "Go ahead. I'll be right up."

Her brother frowned at her. "I wouldn't associate with that kind of riff raff, if I were you."

"You're a prat," Harry commented.

"Who asked you, Potter?"

And noticing her brother retrieving his wand, Luci sighed, "Put it away, Draco."

"Why don't you just stay away from her, huh?" Draco instead hissed at Harry. "Keep with your own kind?"

"Did I miss someone putting you in charge, Malfoy?" scowled Harry. "We're not at Hogwarts and you're not a Prefect here."

Her brother made to advance on Harry, towering over him, but Luci put a hand against his chest. "I'll only be a minute."

"Let's go, Draco," said Narcissa suddenly, seizing her son's arm. And Luci was just a little bit grateful.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Draco glowered at Harry before allowing his mother to lead him from the room.

"Sorry about him," Luci said when they were gone.

"I'm used to it," replied Harry, catching her gaze.

She looked away, staring at the floor. "That's no excuse."

"Why are you apologizing for him?"

"Eh, _someone_ should apologize for him," she sighed. "And I didn't mean the 'make it quick' thing, you know." She'd half-meant it at the time, but now she just wanted to throw away her pride and make everything better between them.

"I know," he said, and then he nodded towards the kitchen door.

She took it to mean that he didn't want to be heard, and she followed him out into the hallway, wondering what he could possibly want to say to her after all of these days of insufferable silence.

"How's your hand?" he asked right away.

Luci instinctively shoved both of them out of sight behind her. She couldn't even remember which one she'd cut. But she managed, "It's healing well, thank you."

"Listen," began Harry, "I need your help."

So that's what this was about. He needed something from her. Otherwise, he wouldn't be speaking to her at all.

She snapped, "I thought we weren't friends anymore?"

"I never said that!"

Luci scoffed. "You left here acting like I was the worst person _ever_ and then you didn't respond to my letter and you haven't talked to me since you got back. It's been _days_. What am I supposed to think?"

Oh, god, it made her sound like an obsessive teenager. She felt her entire body grow warm with humiliation.

"I've been a little busy," Harry barked in response.

"Oh," inflected Luci, angry and annoyed and… mostly hurt. She was such an idiot.

He took a deep breath. "I appreciated the letter, especially the Pass, but I had things to do. You know that."

"Okay," she replied bitingly. She didn't want to talk to him anymore.

But when she looked up, his eyes were searching her face, perplexed, wounded.

She pursed her lips, feeling the barricades fall away. "I'm sorry. I just thought, after the way you left, and then I hadn't heard from you, and I was… worried, I guess, and–"

"Luci, I told you, I just don't like people hiding things from me."

"There are things that _you_ don't tell _me,_" she threw back.

He frowned. "Like what?"

She squared her shoulders. "Like, you told me about Voldemort's orphanage, but you were gone for two days, so I know that there was something else, but I never demanded that you tell me."

He looked taken aback, but she barreled on, "And, oh, let's talk about Ginny. That always seems to derail you. What's going on _there_?"

She inclined her head towards the kitchen, towards the girl of whom she was so jealous, and she felt the sensation swell even more so when Harry's cheeks reddened and he looked down at his feet.

Luci pushed away the pain and concluded, as nonchalantly as she could manage, "That's what I thought. And you and Ginny has nothing to do with me, so I don't need to know. Do you get it? Does that make sense to you? There are just some things–"

"Fine," he cut her off.

"So what is it that you need?" she gathered after a few shallow breaths. She had been hoping that he'd tell her that he felt nothing for Ginny, so there was nothing to tell. But this was a pipe dream.

He answered slowly, "I need you to come with me to get something at my Aunt and Uncle's house."

She blinked incredulously at him. "I can't leave!"

He shook his head. "You leave all the time!"

How did he know that?

"I can't just go _anywhere_," she rerouted uncomfortably.

"Why not?" demanded Harry.

Luci hesitated, trying to think fast, and responded gradually, "There are people who can't know that I'm here."

"We'll take the Invisibility Cloak," he resolved. "No one'll see us."

"You have an Invisibility Cloak?" she nearly exclaimed, her eyes wide.

Harry bobbed his head.

She shook hers. It was a terrible idea for so many reasons. "I don't know, Harry…"

"Please, Luci," he pleaded softly. "You're the only one who can get me in."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why?"

"Because you're beautiful."

She felt her eyebrows shoot up, but it was nothing compared to the upheaval in her stomach.

Before she could even comment or get her bearings, he ruined it.

"I mean… Dudley thinks so. I… I saw the way he looked at you when you came to get me with Mr. Weasley. You'll be able to get us in."

Luci's heart fell to her feet, heavy as stone. "_Dudley_ thinks so?"

"Yeah."

Why wouldn't he say anything else? Was he _trying_ to hurt her?

It took her a moment to quell her emotions, but in hopes of a response, she replied, "Well, _Dudley_ must be out of his mind."

Harry gave an irritated huff. "Will you help me or not?"

She gritted her teeth to keep from actually biting him in fury. "You can't crawl through a window or something?" she suggested angrily.

"No!" he seethed. "I need to get Dudley there alone and then I need you to distract him so that I have time to search the house. Can you do that?"

He wanted to use her. Just like Dumbledore was doing. Just like everyone else was doing. No one actually _cared_ about her. Well, that was fine. She wouldn't care about them either.

"All right," she conceded coldly.

"You'll come?" asked Harry hopefully, his eyes lighting up, much to Luci's aggravation.

"But we have to Apparate and we can't be seen," she nodded. "And we can't be gone long."

"Right. Let's go then."

Luci furrowed her brow. "_Now_?"

"Yes, now," he said in frustration. "I can't really do anything in a leisurely fashion, under the circumstances."

"No need to be sarcastic," she hissed at him. She was agreeing to help him and he was being an asshole. It was just preposterous.

"Sorry," he muttered, and she saw his jaw clench. "You're just making things difficult."

"I'm a difficult girl," she growled, wishing that there could be one person in the world who didn't mind that she was difficult, who thought that she was worth it.

"No, you're not," grumbled Harry. "I didn't mean it like that."

At this rate, she just wanted to get it over with, so that she could get away from him and from her emotions. So she deflected, "How do you know that… what's his name? Dudley? How do you know he'll be there alone?"

"On Saturdays, my Aunt and Uncle always go out for brunch and Dudders watches the telly," Harry explained.

Luci chewed her lip. "And what am I supposed to tell _Dudders_ to get us in there?"

"Tell him that you're looking to arrest me for some horrible thing and you need someone who will testify to my awfulness," instructed Harry without hesitation.

She gaped. "_What_?"

"Trust me," he went on. "He'll love it and be very cooperative. I'll be under the Cloak; he won't even know I'm there."

She shook her head at his asinine theory. "What are we looking for anyway?"

"A letter, from Dumbledore to the Dursleys."

Luci sighed in defeat. "I need to tell Draco I'm going."

"Why?" he frowned.

"Because he'll worry," she said matter-of-factly.

But Harry just laughed. "_Malfoy_? Worry?"

She threw him an goaded glance.

"Look, just don't tell him where we're going."

"I won't," she agreed. "If he knew I was going anywhere with _you_, he'd kill us both."

Harry looked troubled for a moment, but replied, "Okay, I'll meet you in the alley near the house."

She gave him a nod of accord and stepped past him, out of the hallway, and up the stairs.

God, he was so infuriating.

Well, if he was using her for her supposed beauty, she'd show him. She'd be more beautiful than he'd ever seen her before. She would never look like Ginny, but when she tried, she cleaned up well.

First, of course, she had to see Draco.

"What did he want?" her brother asked immediately.

"He needs my help," she sighed. "To go get a letter for him."

Draco looked simultaneously appalled and curious. "I don't get it. Why you?"

"Beats me," she griped. "I don't get it either."

"Are you going?"

"Yeah."

"_Why_?"

"I don't know. Because I'm stupid."

"Wait," halted her brother. "Is _he_ going?"

"No," Luci lied slowly. "He's going out, but for something else."

Draco huffed. "Good. I don't want you around him. You know, you don't owe him anything. Why would you help him? Why would you even _speak_ to that cocky bastard?"

"If nothing else," she exhaled heavily, "it makes me look like a good Auror, right?"

Her brother frowned. "I guess. Ugh. I hate Potter."

"Me too," she replied, and she almost meant it, but it wasn't as much as she hated herself. "Just wanted to let you know I'd be out for a little while."

"Don't go," warned Draco. "Helping Potter is… well, it's like spitting in my face. And the Dark Lord's, too."

Luci clenched her jaw. "No, it isn't. It's helping _us_. It ensures my cover. Look, I don't wanna do it. I feel… obligated."

"Whatever," mumbled her brother. "You know where I stand."

"And _you_ know where _I_ stand," she vented. "I'm _always_ on your side."

"Well, let's hope a Death Eater finds him wandering around by himself," Draco smiled.

Luci returned his grin. "You're awesome."

Feeling like shit for being the most two-faced person ever, she rushed back to her room to get started.

It took her a little while, but she meticulously applied tasteful make-up and used magic to curl her hair. Then she slipped into the most flattering dress in her trunk. It was emerald green, flowing, and low-cut, though she had nothing to show off in that area. She hadn't worn it once since she'd come here. Well, at least it wouldn't be a waste to have brought it.

By the time she made it to the alley, Harry appeared to have been growing very impatient.

"Sorry that took so long," she greeted him.

"How's Malfoy?" was all he said.

"Cheeky as ever," she answered, trying to sound as upbeat as she looked in this color. "Thinks you're up to no good, chastised me for even speaking to you. You know, the usual."

Finally, he looked down at her. And for the first time since she'd known him, he ran his eyes the entire length of her body. She felt the most marvelous sense of triumph.

Then he beamed, "You're trying too hard."

Luci could barely keep from laughing, but disagreed, "You can never try _too_ hard."

Harry just stood there looking at her. And she abruptly wanted to throw herself into his arms. Things between them had been so _good_… until they'd gone bad.

She couldn't help herself. "Harry, are we okay?"

He blinked. "What do you mean?"

What did she _mean_? Boys were so damn oblivious.

"You seem like you're angry with me," she answered softly.

"Yeah, we're okay," he sighed.

She felt like he was going to say more, and was disappointed when he didn't. She wasn't the only one who had been wrong here.

But he was already shaking out the Invisibility Cloak, and she had to stop herself from gasping at its magnificence. It was like liquid silver. In seconds, he had tossed it around the pair of them and had his arm nearly around her shoulders, holding up the cloth.

Luci wanted to fall into the embrace, to be closer to the heat and to the smell of him. Instead, she bit the insides of her cheeks and walked slowly and silently in step with him.

After a few moments, Harry spoke. "Why did you think I was mad at you?"

She shook her head. How could she think otherwise? But she merely responded, "All of the reasons that I said before. We hadn't talked in days. It was… bizarre."

He took a breath that she thought sounded shaky and answered, "There's a lot going on."

"There always seems to be," said Luci, trying not to let him hear her resentment. Then she considered how selfish she was being. "Is it Hagrid?"

Harry didn't say anything, but she felt his chest heave deeply.

She couldn't stop herself. She sighed too and leaned against him. She hoped that he would see it as comfort and nothing more. "I wish I knew how to make it better."

What was she saying? Ugh.

"It's not your job to make it better for me."

No response could have been worse. She had to start keeping her sentiments to herself.

Nearly a minute went by before Harry said, "It's Ron and Hermione."

"What is?" asked Luci in bewilderment, as she had been lost in her thoughts of self-pity.

"What's been bothering me," he mumbled.

"Oh."

"I caught them… kissing."

Luci choked on a giggle and could only manage, "Hmm."

"It's not funny!" exclaimed Harry.

"No, of course not," she sniggered, but it was hilarious. It was no wonder that Harry was unmindful of her; he hadn't even seen how obviously devoted Ron and Hermione were to each other.

She went on, "I'm sorry you're upset, but I could see that coming a mile away!"

He looked completely distressed.

"Oh, Harry, don't feel guilty," she reassured him. "You're dealing with far more than anyone should have to. It's not your fault that you didn't notice your best friends falling in love right under your nose."

He halted abruptly, forcing her to stop in place too.

"In love?" he said, strangled.

Luci looked up at him. "Yes, I think so."

His eyes were wide with disbelief, and she laughed, "It happens!"

He stood processing for a split second before starting forward again, pulling her into step.

It was such a blow to him that Luci felt the need to provide some comfort. So she soothed, "They're still your best friends. You dated Ron's _sister_." _Grr_. "That's pretty huge and everyone survived that, didn't they? You and Ginny seem to be widely accepted now." _Grr_.

Much to her disappointment, he only nodded his head in reply.

"So you'll get used to this too," she added.

"I guess."

"Why haven't you talked to _them_ about this?"

She found it odd that he would come to her with anything, after what had been transpiring the last few days.

"I usually go to Ron and Hermione with my problems," he answered, "but considering that they _were_ the problem…"

Well, at least he was telling her _something_ again, and she wouldn't take it for granted.

"I'm always happy to listen."

Then they were strolling up to the house, and she finished, "Well, here we are."


	22. Chapter TwentyTwo: Big D

**Chapter Twenty-Two – Big D (corresponds with POTP Chapter 15)**

Luci and Harry stood on the doorstep of his family's home. He had pressed the button for the bell, and now they were waiting.

She was feeling a little nervous about this whole endeavor. She'd never distracted anyone by beguiling them before, and she feared failure.

Suddenly, the Invisibility Cloak was no longer around her shoulders. She glanced sideways in panic, but she couldn't see Harry. And then, the door flew open.

"Whatever it is, we don't want any."

It was the same plump boy that she had seen the day that she'd accompanied Arthur to pick up Harry. He was even wearing the same sweater.

Luci threw on her brightest smile. "Hello, Dudley."

The boy didn't speak, though his mouth was hanging open.

"Remember me?"

Dudley nodded.

"Mind if I come in?"

To her astonishment, he stepped aside, ushering her past him.

She was nauseous and alone. She couldn't see or hear Harry. She supposed that she would have to flirt with his cousin until he found that letter. She wondered how long it would take.

Strolling into what appeared to be the living room, she saw a nice, welcoming couch, and made straight for it, sinking into one of the cushions.

She cleared her throat and stroked the seat next to her, beckoning Dudley to join her. He sauntered over, grinning stupidly, and plopped down. She felt herself bounce against his weight.

It was absurd that he was related to Harry. He was so… round. And red-faced. She imagined she was probably a little red-faced at the moment too though.

Luci swallowed thickly and pulled herself back into a seductive mood. She wished that this could work on Harry…

She gently laid her hand on Dudley's knee, but he flew away from her, nearly toppling to the floor. It took him a moment to clamber back onto the couch, his face more crimson than ever.

"Now, Dudley, I need your help," she said as throatily as possible. She sounded ridiculous. She hoped that Harry wasn't watching this.

"With what?" the boy stuttered.

"Well, it's a matter of vast importance, so I need to know that you'll keep this just between the two of us."

He nodded his large cherry face.

She cleared her throat again. "The Ministry of Magic–"

Dudley looked entirely befuddled, so she clarified, "We're the ones who keep things safe in our world."

"Oh."

"We're looking for someone who has… um, broken a few of our rules… and we think that _you_ might be able to tell us where he is."

The boy frowned. "I don't know where any of your kind are!"

Luci raised an eyebrow.

"S-sorry," he corrected himself. "I mean. You're very nice. But…"

"It's all right," she cut in soothingly. "I know that we are a little different. But I promise you that we are not out to harm you, just to protect our own interests. We won't bother you again after this."

"Y-you aren't bothering me," said the boy hastily.

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that," Luci smiled, thinking that his patience might be necessary, since she didn't know how long she might have to stall. "I'd hate to think that I was inconveniencing you."

She slowly crossed one leg over the other, smoothing the skirt of her dress over her lean thighs.

"No," choked Dudley.

He grinned dimly, and she returned the expression.

"So, um," he strangled, "who are you looking for?"

Straight to the point. Perhaps not as dumb as he looked.

"Your cousin," she began slowly.

Saying this out loud felt like insanity. Harry wasn't a criminal, and pretending that he was, even for his benefit… It was madness, all of it. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt like she _wasn't_ living amid madness.

"Harry Potter," she clarified, at Dudley's bemused expression.

And his face immediately betrayed rage. "Harry! I knew it! What has he done this time?"

She wasn't sure how to answer for a moment, but finally replied, "I'm not at liberty to say. But rest assured, he'll be punished for his crimes, when we find him."

Dudley smiled hopefully.

"Would you like that?" she asked him, her eyebrows raised.

The boy nodded. "He's awful."

Almost entirely out of curiosity, she prodded on, "Was it hard living with him all of those years?"

"Oh, yes, you can't imagine!"

Dudley was growing more comfortable, his hands becoming animated as he talked.

"He was the weirdest person," he continued. "Always off in his own world, and strange things were always happening to him. It was such a relief to get rid of him when he went off to that school."

"Hogwarts?"

"You think I know the name? I didn't care. I was just glad to see him gone."

Luci smiled slightly, nodding. "And things got better then?"

"Of course!" he exclaimed brightly. "We didn't have to hide him anymore. I could have friends over. There were no more strange things happening in the house. My parents didn't have to worry about him anymore. Best day of my life, when he left."

"I imagine," she encouraged him. "What kind of strange things happened when he was here?"

"Oh, you know, odd creatures and things moving when they shouldn't. That bloody owl hooting in his bedroom. And there was this thing with a snake once."

"A snake?"

Draco had mentioned that Harry spoke Parseltongue. It still creeped her out. Was it the connection to Voldemort? Or was it something else?

"Yeah, we were kids," explained Dudley. "And we were at a zoo, and he set this snake on me."

Luci furrowed her brow.

"He really did! It was bloody terrifying! It was like… Well, this will sound mad, but it was like he was talking to it."

"Interesting," she mused. "And when was this?"

"Oh, I dunno, while back. Hey, I'm hungry. Want some food?"

She nearly laughed aloud at him. The last thing this boy needed was food.

"No, thank you," she answered, "but feel free to get something for yourself."

He got precariously to his feet. "You sure? You're very thin."

Luci guffawed before she could stop herself.

"I mean, not that there's anything wrong…" He turned bright red again. "Sorry. Never mind. Won't be long."

After he left the room, it occurred to her that Harry was wandering around the house somewhere. She hoped that he wasn't in the kitchen. It was too late for him, if he was.

But the only noise coming from that direction was the refrigerator opening, then closing, and the clinking of glass.

Luci looked around the room.

Above the fireplace, on the mantle, hung a large photograph of Dudley, his parents on either side of him. Harry wasn't pictured. They looked… well, not happy, but something like it.

The television was the prominent piece of furniture in the room. It was evident that it was their main source of entertainment. Besides food, obviously.

Otherwise, there were only two overstuffed armchairs, a coffee table, and an oak cabinet against one wall. What was a living room without a book shelf? Perhaps they kept books somewhere else. Though she'd deduced that they probably weren't the reading kind.

On the oak piece, she noticed a clock. She wasn't sure how long it had been since she had come into the living room with Dudley, but she made note of the current time, so that she could keep track. She hoped that Harry wouldn't be much longer.

Dudley waddled back to her a few minutes later, carrying a large sandwich on a white plate and a glass of milk. He set them down on the coffee table and sidled up next to her again. He had found some confidence. It was unsettling.

"Ham," he told her, gesturing towards the plate. "You're sure you don't want any?"

"Yes, thanks," she smiled. "You have a lovely home. What do your parents do?"

"My father is a director," he said proudly. "He makes drills."

"Drills?"

Dudley nodded, but couldn't speak, as he'd taken an enormous bite out of his sandwich.

He chewed loudly for a few moments, and Luci tried not to grimace in disgust.

After swallowing and taking a swig of the milk, he said, "I thought your kind knew everything about us."

She narrowed her eyes. "Why would you think that?"

"People came here," he shrugged. "Always seemed to know things."

"Well, I'm not like them. I was raised a little more like you."

Not only was it true, but it caused him to beam warmly.

"Yeah? Like a regular person? With telly and sports and normal school and things?"

She giggled. "Yes, just like that."

"Ooh, what do you watch on telly?" he asked enthusiastically before taking another noisy bite.

"Well, I haven't watched anything over here, since I haven't had access to a TV, but at home, I watched things like _Seinfeld_."

It came as a surprise to her then, but she missed her semi-Muggle life.

"Do you watch _Dream Team_?" he was asking between gulps of milk.

"No, sorry, haven't heard of it," she responded absentmindedly, still feeling homesick.

"Oh, it's brilliant. It's about football. Do you like football?"

"Um, well, I don't like the American version, but I think yours is like our soccer, right?"

Dudley shrugged and shoved the last of the sandwich into his mouth.

She let him chew and glanced at the clock. It had been almost fifteen minutes. It felt longer. Where the hell was Harry?

Finally, Dudley swallowed and declared, "I was a boxing champion, you know?"

"Really?" she glowed with feigned interest.

"Mmm hmm. Everyone is still afraid of me. They do anything I tell 'em to."

Luci found herself thinking that Draco would be envious.

"Nice," she commented. "I'm sure your parents are very proud."

"Oh, they are," he grinned. "They've always told me so. Especially when Harry was around. We wanted to make sure he knew that he was a burden to us."

She frowned. Poor Harry…

"Hey, you never told me what he did," Dudley pointed out.

"I told you that I wasn't at liberty to say," she covered. "It's a, well, a legal matter. And you never mentioned whether you might know where he is."

"I don't," he answered, finishing off the milk. "Glad not to. I don't think we'll see him around here again."

"Hmm. Well, where would you suggest that we look?"

"I dunno. Somewhere in your world, probably. He'd never come here."

"Why not?"

"He hates us as much as we hate him," remarked Dudley.

"Hate?" she asked. "That's a very strong word."

"Sometimes, it wasn't strong enough, believe me. He ruined my life until he left. He was this ugly kid. He was stupid and annoying and he smelled–"

_Smelled_? She tried not to laugh.

"– and he was always around. And I couldn't have a normal life. Because he wasn't normal."

"I see," she said sympathetically.

Then, Luci felt a subtle tapping on her right shoulder. It was so unexpected that she nearly flew into the air, but she managed to tone it down to a swift intake of breath. No one else was in the room, so she could only think that it was Harry under that valuable Cloak. Thankfully, it was time to go.

"Well, Dudley, I think I have enough," she said abruptly, getting to her feet.

He followed her as quickly as he could while bearing that kind of weight.

"Can't you stay? I have tea and cakes. Anything you want."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, but I really can't. You've been _very_ helpful, though."

"But!" he cried out, and she turned to him.

"I need your help too," he finished quietly.

Luci frowned. "With what?"

Dudley's face was full of terror, and she felt sorry for him all of the sudden.

"It's okay, you can tell me," she coaxed.

The boy took a solid breath. "Harry did something to me."

She took a step towards him. "What do you mean?"

Dudley looked away and didn't respond. A few seconds went by.

"Well, I can't help you, then," she said with finality.

"No, wait!"

Luci turned back to him, giving him a supportive nod.

"I keep having nightmares…"

Fascinated, she prompted, "And how did _Harry_ cause this?"

He hesitated again, but then blathered, "It started when he attacked me in an alley a few years ago."

Stifling a gasp at the declaration, she asked, "Harry _attacked_ you?"

"Now I can't stop having nightmares," nodded the large boy.

She wanted to know everything. "And what are you having nightmares about?"

Dudley was sweating, his chest heaving, obviously distraught. She could only watch him and wait for the next words out of his mouth.

Finally, he went on, "I keep seeing my mum… w-with a… a… one of those w-wand thingies… and she's waving it around and chanting something… but nothing's happening and she's mad and yelling…"

Was Harry's aunt a witch too? It wouldn't make any sense. Harry had told Luci that his family loathed magic.

"Did this actually _happen_ to you, Dudley?" she questioned the boy.

He gave her a short nod, nearly in tears, and strangled, "When I was six."

"And has it happened since?" she pried on.

"Only in my nightmares. Can you make them go away?"

Luci was deep in thought at this point, wondering what this boy's mother had been doing with a wand all those years ago, and now so adamantly against them.

But she met Dudley's gaze and sighed, "No, I can't. I'm sorry. But they'll go away on their own, with time."

She knew that she couldn't help him, because she'd been looking for the same cure for Harry, with no luck so far. Slightly ironic.

"They will?" asked his cousin, sniffling.

"Yes, I think so," she lied.

And when he grinned optimistically, she felt guilt creeping into the pit of her stomach.

Until he did a one-eighty, snarling, "I hope you do catch my nasty cousin and put him away for what he's done to me, and to loads of others, probably."

Luci kept her cool through this, but apparently, Harry did not.

She heard Dudley shriek in horror and saw him fling his plump body backwards, an impressive feat. He was gurgling noises and pointing hysterically to Harry's trainer, which was clearly not under the Cloak.

"Shit," she breathed. And then at Dudley, to cease the noise, "Calm down!"

The boy went silent.

And Harry appeared before the pair of them, standing only a few feet away.

"Hi Big D," he grinned at his cousin.

The other boy immediately flew into a fit of rage, lunging at Harry and punching him right in the jaw.


	23. Chapter TwentyThree: The Fall

**Chapter Twenty-Three – The Fall (corresponds with POTP Chapter 15 & 16)**

Luci saw Harry plunge to the floor, clutching at his face and moaning. And something snapped inside of her. Her vision went wobbly and muted.

She tore out her wand, aimed it at Dudley's throat, and swung him effortlessly into the air.

The round boy was pressed into the wall, his palms open helplessly, his eyes wide with horror.

"Now that wasn't very nice," she heard herself spit angrily.

Dudley was shaking his head frantically. What had she done…?

Then it hit her. Dammit, she was in _love_ with him.

She knew it, because these were the same feelings, the same blackness that had rushed through her when Mark had been attacked. And, once again, these feelings were directed towards someone that she simply could not have. How could she let this happen?

Her eyes had slammed shut before she could stop them, and she was forcing herself not to crumble to the floor in sobs. After a few deep breaths, she reattached her mask, just scarcely, and looked at the hefty boy once more.

"I'm sorry, Dudley. Harry is very important in our world. I can't have you hitting him. Do you understand?"

He nodded. She felt horrible for flipping out on him. But she couldn't let either of the boys see what she had just realized.

"Now," she went on shakily, "I think that we can forget that this ever happened, yes?"

Dudley's cheeks shook in another nod.

"Good," said Luci heavily. "I appreciate it."

She dropped her wand slowly, bringing Dudley back onto his feet. He stayed where she'd left him, quaking.

Then she turned to Harry, at whom she almost couldn't bear to look, and commanded, "_Episkey_."

His jaw cracked audibly into place, and she snapped, "The Cloak, Harry."

He was immediately on his feet and throwing the material over both of them.

"Thanks again, Dudley," Luci called to the pitiful boy that they were leaving behind. It was all she could think to say. "And don't worry about those nightmares."

God, she felt awful. She felt like everything was wrong.

Harry had led her back outside and closed the house behind them.

She couldn't look at him, but she did bitch, "That went well."

"Sorry," he mumbled.

And she hadn't wanted to hear his voice. A tremor went through her.

She took a deep breath and managed, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks. Are you cold?"

"What?" she asked abruptly. "No. Why?"

Oh, shit, could he tell what was going on inside of her? That she… that she… She nearly whimpered at the thought.

"You're shivering," he told her.

"Oh," was all she could choke out.

She couldn't believe this was happening. And she'd _let_ it! Why couldn't she have just stayed away from him? Or better yet, told Dumbledore to go fuck himself and stayed in Arizona? What was she going to do now?

Well, she supposed that she was going to suffer extraordinarily. Nothing could come of this but pain.

They'd been walking in silence for a few minutes when Harry piped up, "Oh, here!"

She glanced sideways wearily and he pressed the Professor's Pass into her palm. His skin scorched hers, and she nearly snagged her hand away.

"Thanks," she muttered.

If she kept acting like this, he would know something was wrong. She had to say something. Anything.

"So your aunt's a witch, eh? You never told me that."

"I didn't _know_," he answered.

"Maybe she's not," speculated Luci listlessly. "Maybe she _wants_ to be. Dudley made it sound like she couldn't do magic."

He didn't say anything. Fantastic. It was just a perfect time to be silent. Her stomach churned and she thought she might throw up.

Instead, she spewed, "So you found the letter?"

"Yes."

How could he be so inarticulate, when she was trying desperately to maintain a normal conversation in order to avoid some kind of seizure of panic?

Perhaps she could provoke him into talking. "Notice how I didn't demand to know what was in it."

"Yeah, yeah," Harry replied playfully.

Her stomach soared and she inched away from him frantically.

He didn't notice and went on, "Hey, thanks for your help. You were brilliant! Sounded as if you really cared about fat old Diddykins."

They were so mean to each other. Just like him and Draco.

She bit, "I _did_ care."

"I don't understand you!" he said incredulously. "Besides, you _threw_ him!"

Luci shut her eyes on the memory.

"Only because he hit you," she explained unsteadily. "And you can't help but pity a boy like that. He seemed really tortured by those nightmares."

_Just like you_, she thought. _Because you're not that different. And neither are you and my brother._

"He deserves a lot worse, believe me," responded Harry hatefully.

"Sometimes, you have to put yourself in someone else's shoes," said Luci jadedly. "Just because a person has treated you badly doesn't mean that they don't deserve any compassion.

He gave her a look of disbelief, but then commented, "And I didn't attack him. It was Dementors."

She didn't know why she felt relieved. He still spoke Parseltongue.

"That explains a lot. I wouldn't have pinned you as the attacking type."

"I'm not," he grumbled.

She was still feeling so bad about Dudley. She had truly wronged him, and she wasn't sure that he'd deserved it. She had just lost it… Well, never mind.

"Poor kid," she allowed. "What do you think they feed him?"

Harry laughed, and her heart skidded in her chest.

Then, as they had reached the alley, he asked, "Ready?"

"Uh huh."

They counted to three together and found themselves back in the familiar entryway of Grimmauld Place.

Luci's first instinct was to dart up to her room and hide forever. Except that when she got there, she'd be able to ruminate over this, and she didn't want to, and absolutely _couldn't_, really.

But none of it mattered at the moment, because she heard a voice demand, "Where the bloody hell have you been with _her_?"

She looked up and her eyes landed on Ginny, who looked incensed, and yet, still stunning.

But Harry's eyes were on Luci, and she could barely meet them to give him a fretful grimace.

Ginny's voice came again, barking, "I know you're both under that sodding Cloak! I heard you Apparate!"

And then, the protection of the Cloak was gone, and Luci felt naked.

Could Ginny see it?

She had to get the fuck out of here.

"I'll leave you two alone," she nearly cried as she ran past the red-haired beauty.

But her trouble wasn't over.

She was only in her room for a few minutes, sobbing on the bed, when Draco burst through her door.

He stopped when he saw her, and the fury melted from his face.

"Why are you crying?"

She shook her head to clear it. "Um… slammed my finger in the desk," she choked, clutching at her hand.

"Girls!" he seethed, and the anger was back. "How was your little _outing_?"

"Fine," she sniffled.

"Find what you were looking for?" he asked forebodingly.

"Draco," she sighed tearfully, "just tell me what's wrong."

"Why don't _you_ tell _me_ something for once?"

"What are you talking about?" she frowned.

"Where did you really go?" he insisted harshly.

"To get that letter for Harry."

"By yourself?"

"Yes."

"Tell the truth!" he yelled suddenly.

She nearly tumbled off of her bed. "That _is_ the truth!"

"You're lying!" Draco bellowed, livid. "I heard Weasley's sister say that you'd gone somewhere with Potter!"

"What does Ginny know?" Luci threw back, stunned by her brother's reaction.

"Explain yourself!" he roared on.

Then she got heated too. After what she'd been through already, and he was doing this…

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Draco!" she cried. "I'll go where I please!"

"But POTTER?" he countered, wounded. "I deserve to know why you're consorting with the enemy!"

"The _enemy_?"

"We _talked_ about this! This is the _worst_ thing you could do to me!"

Draco threw his hands into the air. She saw that his eyes were red.

He went on, "What are you _doing_, Luce? What's going on? Please."

The tears were pouring out of her eyes again. She loved both of them. Immensely. Differently. Very differently. But _immensely_.

"Listen," she blubbered, "sit down. Just calm down and we'll talk."

"_You're_ not calm," he pointed out.

"I know." She sucked in a wet breath. "I don't like fighting. Especially with you."

He sighed. "Just… stop crying, will you?"

"Yes," she agreed. "Yes, I'll stop crying. If you'll give me a chance to explain."

"I don't know how you can. You lied to me. You…" His face contorted in pain. "You _betrayed_ me."

"No!" she exclaimed. "I would _never_, Draco!"

"Then how _could_ you?"

Her brother looked so… so broken. And it was confusing.

"It's not what it looks like," she assured him. "The only thing I lied about was that Harry was going with me. He had to. But I didn't wanna tell you, because of… well, _this_."

"_This_?" he echoed.

"You just… _loathe_ him. And I didn't want you exploding at either of us. Like this."

"Yeah, I loathe him. You said you did too."

"I dunno. It doesn't matter what I think of him. I just said I'd help, and I did. It was nothing more than that."

"I can't even believe you now," said her brother, calmer. "You've lied to me once. You'll do it again."

Yes, she would do it again. Many more times.

"Draco…" she started. "_This_ is the truth. He needed help. I helped him. I didn't actually spend _any_ time with him. I spent the whole time talking to a bloody Muggle so that Harry could look through the house. We hardly spoke."

Well, that much was true anyway.

"Really?" asked her brother, but he didn't appear satisfied yet.

"Yes, really. Why would I ever do anything to betray you? I… I care about you, and even if I didn't, your interests are my interests."

He looked at the floor and he didn't speak for a long while. She waited, rubbing at her inflamed eyes.

Eventually, he breathed, "I'm going to have to think about whether or not to forgive you."

"Fair enough," she nodded.

"Or to trust you again."

Luci sucked in a shallow breath, new tears emerging. "I hope you will."

Draco clenched his jaw. "Stay away from him from now on."

"I will," she said, and she hoped with all of her being that it was true, even though she knew that it probably wasn't.

Then he marched out, leaving her in such emotional chaos that she couldn't think straight.

She used her wand to lock her door, and then she combusted into violent sobbing. There was nothing left to do.


	24. Chapter TwentyFour: A Promise To Ginny

**Chapter Twenty-Four – A Promise To Ginny**

Luci spent the entire next day in bed. No one bothered her. She snuck out to use the bathroom when she knew that everyone was in the kitchen for a meal. And she thought that she should probably be hungry too, but she wasn't. She was simply despondent and was experiencing no other sensations.

She tried to write, but she couldn't manage anything coherent. She tried to sleep, but she could only see his face. She tried to read, but the lines blurred before her tear-filled eyes.

She didn't know how this had happened. She'd spent half the night trying to talk herself out of it. But it was true. Somewhere along the line, she'd fallen in love with him. It wasn't anything that she could explain or defend, and logic had no power over her. Those nights spent in the drawing room, she'd learned that he was brilliant, sensitive, witty, brave, talented, gracious… It should have been obvious that she was going to lose her heart to him. She had only been focused on enjoying their time together. She had been in denial of what it could lead to.

And, of course, it kept tiptoeing into her mind that Draco probably hated her and would never trust her again. She didn't know how she was going to rectify that situation either.

It was a very long day of feeling sorry for herself. Her sheets were soaked in tears by the time she fell asleep again.

The next morning, she awoke early, the October cold chilling her to the bone. Her tribulations immediately flooded to the forefront of her consciousness.

But she couldn't spend another day locked in here. Obviously, no one had noticed that she was gone or given a shit, for that matter, but they might eventually. Probably not. Not even Harry.

And she feared that, if she reappeared, her skin would be glowing with her newfound emotions and everyone would see. They would know. And how would she explain?

Nonetheless, she donned her mask as best she could, cleaned herself up, and went down to the kitchen for breakfast.

Most of the usual inhabitants were already there, including Draco and his mother. She sat down as discretely as possible next to her brother.

"How are you feeling?" he asked straight away.

Narcissa frowned, as though she thought Luci might be contagious. "Were you ill?"

"Just really tired, that's all," Luci answered. "Not sick or anything."

This seemed a good enough explanation for the pair of them.

After breakfast, before shutting himself in his room, Draco told her, "I still need some time. Maybe lessons tomorrow?"

She nodded sullenly.

And no one else inquired into the previous day's absence again. It was a little insulting.

And it hurt very much indeed that Harry was paying no attention to her whatsoever. She had gone through all of that to help him, after all. Perhaps Ginny had forbid him to see her? Maybe if she talked to the girl she'd grown to resent…

Following an awkward dinner sitting next to Draco, Luci knocked on the door of the room that Ginny shared with Hermione.

The red-head answered, and upon seeing Luci, scowled.

"What do _you_ want?"

Hermione looked up from her place at the desk.

"Um…" Luci began. "I, um, about the other day…"

Hermione stood. "Let her in, Ginny."

Ginny grimaced but obliged, and closed the door behind Luci.

"Listen, I just wanted to, um… Look, I was just helping Harry out. It wasn't anything more than that. Don't be angry with him."

Ginny's eyes narrowed. "Why do you care if I'm angry with him?"

Luci blinked. "I don't, I guess. But you shouldn't be. You just seemed really upset, and I wanted to let you know that there was no reason to be."

Hermione was frowning, and Luci wondered why.

"So you're _not_ after my boyfriend?" asked Ginny accusingly, her hands on her hips.

The question stunned Luci. Was he her boyfriend again? Currently? Her stomach hurt.

But she spewed, "What? No, of course not!"

The red-haired splendor wore an expression of distrust.

"Ginny," Luci assured, "I'm not _after_ him. We're not even _friends_."

This was true, but she followed up by lying through her teeth. "I have no interest in him. You have nothing to worry about from me, okay?"

Ginny raised her eyebrows. "You promise?"

"I promise," replied Luci. "He's all yours. You belong together."

It nearly killed her to say it, but she believed it.

"You think?" Ginny half-smiled.

"Yes," Luci nodded. "It's kind of obvious."

"See, I told you, Ginny," Hermione piped up. "Everyone can see you're meant for each other."

The red-head outright grinned now.

Then she turned back to Luci. "Thanks. I feel better."

"You're welcome," said Luci, managing to return the smile. "Good night."

She left, feeling terribly guilty. She'd be able to keep her promise as far as not going after Harry. But she couldn't guarantee that her feelings for him might not eventually show. God, she hoped not. She hoped she'd be able to get rid of them before they ate a huge, gaping, visible hole into her chest.

When she made it back to her room, Severus was waiting in the fireplace.

"Late dinner?" he greeted her.

"Sure," she responded. "What's up?"

"Regarding the manner of which we spoke?" he eluded.

"Uh huh?"

"My research has been coming along quite splendidly. I may send someone via Floo to collect more information from you."

Luci raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"He is called Craig Cambias," explained Severus, "and we can trust him, though he is a Death Eater. Tell him everything that you know."

She shook her head. "I don't know if I'm comfortable–"

"Do as I instruct," he cut in frostily.

Then he disappeared before she could protest.

* * *

It was a few days more before Draco allowed Luci back into his room.

They had just returned from lunch, and he beckoned her to come in.

The two of them hadn't been speaking much at meals, aside from pleasantries. It had been miserable. Luci was wishing desperately for some resolution.

Draco closed them into his room and began, "I've decided to forgive you after all."

It was condescending, but Luci tolerated it and smiled. "I'm glad."

"But there are conditions."

"Okay?"

"No more talking to Potter or any of his little friends," he said fiercely. "And when I ask you a question, you tell me the truth. I have a hard enough time with trust, and I'd like to think you're one of the few people that I can rely on."

She probably couldn't adhere to these so-called conditions, but she replied, "You _can_ rely on me, Draco. I came here to protect you and I don't intend to fail."

"I don't need protection!" he spat, a brief flash of anger in his eyes. Then he sighed, "I just need to know that you're on _my_ side, and not his."

Luci wanted so badly for them to be on the _same_ side. It would make things so much easier, though she would still be caught in the middle of their hostility.

"You know I'm on your side," she assured him. "Now, can things get back to normal?"

"Normal?" scoffed her brother. "I can't remember normal."

She pressed her lips together. "You know, neither can I."

* * *

Luci had been trying to call Kristen for over a week now. In anguish, she'd tried everyone else too. She'd spoken to Amy once, though never about anything more substantial than the weather. Josh had picked up on the first ring, but she couldn't stand talking to him for long, because his thought process always went to mooning over their future relationship. Gag. And she'd cried to her mother a few times about being homesick.

But she'd kept everything bottled up inside of her until she finally heard Kristen's voice on the other end of the line. Then she burst open like a swollen dam.

"Hello?"

"Kristen, you've gotta help me!" exploded Luci madly.

"Luci? What is it?"

"I'm in _love_ with him!"

"What?" shrieked her best friend. "Who?"

"Harry!"

"Harry?"

"_Yes_!" Luci cried in frustration.

"Oh my god." Kristen sucked in a breath. "How did that happen?"

"I don't know! I just need you to tell me how to get out of it!"

"Get out of it?" she laughed. "You can't get out of love. Believe me, I've tried."

Luci moaned. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Make out with him?" came the casual comment.

"Kristen!"

"It's a perfectly good suggestion."

"No, it isn't!" hissed Luci. "He has a girlfriend. I have to make this go away."

"Girlfriend? You didn't mention a girlfriend."

"It's… recent. Sort of."

A short pause. "I'm sorry, Luce."

"Yeah, me too," she sighed dejectedly. "What do I do?"

"I… I dunno," Kristen started hesitantly. "Come home?"

"I can't."

"Well… can't you magical people control emotions or something?"

Luci gasped in epiphany. "Kristen, you're a genius!"

"I know."

"I'll find some kind of… some kind of anti-love spell! Yes! That'll save me!"

"Well, good luck," said Kristen, uncertain. "You sure you want out of it?"

"Of course I'm sure!"

"Really? Love is kind of nice though, isn't it?"

"Not _unrequited_ love," groaned Luci. "It's torture. But I'm going to fix this."

She was feeling quite hopeful at the prospect of being free.

Kristen made a disapproving noise. "Sometimes, I think magic shouldn't be the solution."

Luci huffed. "_You_ suggested it. And it's brilliant. And I'm doing it. Besides, it's the only solution I've got."

"You could tell him how you feel."

"Kristen… you don't think I've thought about that? But I can't. He's taken. It would be idiotic. He'd laugh and reject me and I'd be in an even _worse_ place."

She could feel the tears pooling again. When had she become such a feeble creature?

"Okay," answered her best friend in defeat. "But you're throwing away something precious."

"Yeah, right," grumbled Luci. "If I don't do something, I'm throwing away my sanity, and I think I value that a little more than emotional turmoil."

"I just want you to be happy," said Kristen gently.

Luci inhaled heavily. "Thanks, I feel the same way. How's Maggie?"

"Things are good, for now. The painful times are worth it for what you feel when it's good."

"That's wonderful," smiled Luci. "You deserve the good."

"So do you. Don't forget. Before you brew some crazy potion, think about how you deserve the good."

* * *

Luci had immediately gone to her room, searching for the book that she had on removing jinxes. It was a good start anyway. She certainly _felt_ like she'd been jinxed. She wondered if she could use the draught for curing Amortentia. It might be worth a try.

As she was digging through her desk drawer, she came across the pocket watch that Dumbledore had wanted her to give to Harry. She opened it, observed the tiny hands ticking rhythmically for a few seconds, then sighed and closed it again.

Christmas. It was two months away. Two months that she would be wasting away in this house, pining for an unavailable boy, hoping that something would happen that would allow her to go home. And if she _could_ go home before Christmas, how would she get this gift into Harry's hands?

It was a beautiful watch. It glimmered as she held it in her tiny palm. Would Harry know that it had been the Headmaster's possession if it just ended up on his bed Christmas day, as was Wizarding fashion? Perhaps she could do something to make it a little bit more special, something to make it uniquely Dumbledore's.

She'd give it some thought. For now, she had to focus on finding something to get rid of these feelings, and on her other ambition to create a safe place where she could take Draco and get the hell out of here.


	25. Chapter TwentyFive: The Pitch

**Chapter Twenty-Five – The Pitch (corresponds with POTP Chapter 16)**

Things had returned to normal, so to speak.

Luci and Draco were once again spending days on end, studying, playing games, and anything else they could find to do. They both wondered what on earth Narcissa was doing with _her_ time.

Everyone else in the house avoided the Malfoys at all costs. Luci found it a bit wounding, though she knew that no one had any good reason to like them. What really hurt was, now that Ron and Hermione were back, Harry didn't care about her. He didn't want to hang out with her in the drawing room. He didn't want to learn from her. He didn't even want to speak to her, apparently. He'd forgotten that she existed.

And she could often think of nothing else but him. It was maddening, to be so invisible.

It had been weeks now, since he'd taken her to the Dursley home. And still, she had no reprieve.

She'd drunk two batches of the Amortentia cure, to no avail. She'd even tried a numbing potion that relieved all of her emotions for a few hours. But it had freaked Draco out and she'd decided to only use it if in desperate need. And that desperate need had woken her in the night a few times, and she had gulped urgently at the purple liquid, only to return to the pain in the morning.

There was, however, some success with her quest to create another safe house. It was a complicated process, but she was drawing up the plans. Now she just had to find a practical location.

Today's task was to visit Dumbledore's portrait and inquire as to whether he had any suggestions.

She was currently approaching the castle, the Professor's Pass around her neck, and fighting against the cold November wind. With the school being closed, she hoped that she wouldn't be bothered again by that stupid ghost.

But Peeves was nowhere to be found and Luci made it to the Headmistress's office without being deterred.

Dumbledore's portrait seemed to have just woken upon her arrival.

"Luci," he greeted her wearily.

"Sorry to wake you," she apologized.

"No, no, any cause to be awake is very welcome indeed. Quite dull around here, I'm afraid."

She grinned. "Mind if I sit?"

"Please," he answered, gesturing towards the chair in front of the large desk.

Luci lowered herself into it and went on, "I'm hoping you can help me."

Dumbledore nodded.

She'd gone over this in her head, but now that it had come time to ask him, she found herself fumbling with the words.

"The three of us… we're… _miserable_ at Grimmauld Place. We're not welcome, and everyone makes it very clear. So… well, I've been looking into it, and I think that I could move us somewhere, and put a similar charm on the place to protect it. I just… I need a good location. If you might know of one."

"I see," said the portrait.

She waited.

Finally, he continued, "I would rather you stay where you are. You are safest there. I know it is hard for all of you, but I think it is best."

"_You_ think it's best?" she threw back, annoyed. "What about what _we_ think?"

"At Grimmauld Place, you are with people that I trust fully," he told her, unaffected. "As gifted as you are, Luci, you may need assistance from the Order at some point. I would not feel at ease if the three of you were in seclusion. Also, it is good to have you keeping an eye on Harry."

"I don't want anything to do with Harry!" she seethed, clambering to her feet.

Dumbledore frowned. "Has he offended you?"

Luci turned her back to the portrait, trying to push away her emotions, praying that he couldn't see.

"Yes," she muttered.

"How so?"

She slowly returned to look at him.

"I just…" she sighed. "I just can't deal with him."

His eyes were twinkling. Dammit.

But he only said, "Harry is a handful, it's true, but it is very important that he be protected. I trust you to aid the Order in this. I need you to stay, Luci."

"_Albus_!" she hissed back, and she rarely used his first name. "Can't you see that you're asking too much of me?"

"I am asking you to be strong, to endure, to be selfless."

Luci growled. "But I'm not good at any of those things."

"You _are_, unquestionably," he said kindly. "It is why I came to you. I knew that you would be able to put your brother before yourself. Can you do the same for Harry?"

"I do!" she blurted. Then she turned bright red and sunk dismally back into the chair.

"This is just more than I ever expected."

Dumbledore smiled. "Life's greatest joys can be in the unexpected."

"You and your little sayings…" she muttered.

And something occurred to her. His "little sayings" were what made him unique. If she could put them into that locket, Harry would know…

She got to her feet. "Can I start visiting a little more often? I have an idea. To… to put Harry first, I guess."

"Certainly," he nodded. "May I inquire as to this idea?"

"Your locket," she said. "I want to… to put some of your antic dotes into it. I just think he'd like it. He misses you."

"And I, him. It is a very thoughtful idea, Luci."

She exhaled defenselessly. He could see right through her.

"Does that mean that you will remain with the Order?"

Luci bit her lip and shook her head. "For now. Until I can't take it any longer."

* * *

She couldn't take it any longer.

He wouldn't get out of her head. Ever.

She was trying to instruct Draco in Ancient Runes, but she was a little unclear on them herself. Her brain was too fuzzy, with daydreams of Harry floating about at inopportune times. He was ruining her life.

"Ugh!" she groaned. "Okay, go back to Charms. I need to read this book and figure it out."

"Some teacher you are," her brother teased.

Luci sighed. "It's the only thing I thought I might be good at. Apparently not."

"Shut up, you're great. Runes are useless."

"_I_ am useless," she moaned.

"Join the club," Draco grumbled back.

She met his gaze. "I'm sorry, Drake. I didn't mean to…"

They'd picked up nicknames somewhere along the way. Luci relished it, especially because he'd started it by calling her "Luce."

"Never mind. No need to talk about my epic failure again."

"It wasn't an epic failure…" she coaxed. "You just have a conscience, that's all."

"I don't _want_ a conscience! I disappointed the Dark Lord. I'm the reason–"

He stopped and took a shaky breath. It'd been awhile since he'd talked this way.

"The reason for what?" she prompted.

Draco looked away.

"The reason for _what_? Talk to me."

"The reason he's dead!" he snapped.

Luci frowned. "Who?"

"The stupid Headmaster."

She couldn't catch his eye, but she was fascinated by this new behavior and prodded, "Are you… remorseful of that?"

He didn't say anything.

"Why are you feeling guilty all the sudden?"

"It's not all the sudden," he spat at her. "You must think I'm heartless."

"No," she began slowly. "When we first met, I told you that you were trying to _seem_ heartless, and other terrible things, but that I didn't believe any of it. And I still don't. I just… why are you telling me this _now_?"

"I dunno. Sick of keeping it inside."

She nodded silently, not wanting to speak and ruin the chance to hear him continue.

"I was commanded to do it," sniffled her brother. "I'm _not_ heartless. I had no choice."

Luci knew that there was always a choice. But she didn't bother mentioning this at the moment.

Instead, she said, "But _you_ didn't kill him."

"But _I'm_ the reason!" he cried, emotional now, stunning her.

Luci reached out for him, but he pulled away, getting to his feet.

"You don't know what I did."

"So tell me."

"I can't," he whined.

"You can tell me _anything_," she assured him. "I'm not judging you."

Draco finally looked at her and choked, "I let them in. Into my _own_ school. They couldn't have done it without me. I was so… I was _proud_. But now…"

"Let who in?"

"The Death Eaters."

Luci took a moment to process. He had spoken of them as if he didn't belong. And her heart soared hopefully.

"Snape killed him, Draco," she said. "A man who was already in the school. That had nothing to do with you."

"He could have fought _Snape_!" argued her brother. "But not all of them at once! He was outnumbered! _I _did that!"

She had to tell him. He had to know. He couldn't live with this kind of guilt. If he had any hope of redeeming himself to anyone else, he had to forgive himself first.

"Sit down," she began.

He narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"I need to tell you something. But you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone else. Not even your mother. _No one_."

Draco sat down across from her again, curious. "Okay?"

"Do you promise?"

"Sure. Yeah."

Luci sucked in a deep breath. God, she hoped he'd keep his promise.

"Dumbledore had been planning his death."

"What?" he demanded.

"I don't know why. All I know is that he and Snape had arranged it. It had nothing to do with you. You didn't cause it; you couldn't have prevented it."

This wasn't entirely true, because the Headmaster had died partly for Draco's sake. But her brother didn't need to know that.

He was frowning. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I, entirely," she admitted. "But I'm telling you that it would have happened even if you hadn't been involved. So there's no need for you to be feeling this kind of guilt. Though it's very endearing."

Her brother grimaced and then refocused. "But why would he plan his death?"

"I don't know. I will never get that man. I think he was nuts."

Draco laughed softly. "Yeah, he was, wasn't he?"

"Undoubtedly," she grinned.

* * *

Luci flew into the kitchen, a bit delayed for dinner. She'd been at Hogwarts, collecting Dumbledore's voice for the locket. It had been her third trip, and the gift was coming along beautifully. She figured that she could finish it in the month she now had before Christmas. Harry was going to love it.

"You're always late," accused Draco.

"Because it's fashionable," she smiled at him.

He raised his eyebrows.

"It's a wonder anyone shows up for meals anymore," said Molly, who must have noticed Luci's tardiness. She turned to Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. "With you four up at that pitch all the time."

Harry and his friends looked appalled that she would mention it out loud, as though it had been their little secret.

Draco made a noise.

"What?" asked Luci.

"A pitch," he grumbled. "I thought I'd heard one of them say it."

"What's a pitch?"

Her brother gave her a look of exasperation.

"For Quidditch!" he explained. "I've told you about it loads of times."

"Oh!" she said. "Right. Sorry. But how is there a pitch in this house?"

"I dunno."

"We can create your own pitch, Draco," suggested Narcissa.

"I can't play by myself," he snapped at his mother, and that was the end of the conversation.

Though Luci started it up again the next day.

"Do you want me to try to make a pitch for you?" she asked her brother over a game of chess.

"No," he barked without looking up at her.

"Well, if you change your mind…"

He ignored her and said instead, "Checkmate."

* * *

Nearly a week went by, with Draco moping around Grimmauld Place. It was obvious that he wanted to be playing Quidditch too. Everyone was making it seem as though they were having so much fun. It was all they talked about. The four of them always had tousled hair and rosy cheeks. Even Luci was curious.

It was a cold afternoon in early December, and Draco was working on a potion while Luci read the Ancient Runes book. But she couldn't concentrate.

Finally, she spoke up, revealing the idea she'd been pondering for days now.

"I'm going to ask them if you can play."

"What?"

Draco dropped a whole lovage leaf into his cauldron and the liquid inside popped and fizzled.

"I'm going up right now," Luci said again. "Because I want you to be able to play."

"No!" he hissed. "I don't wanna play with _them_."

"Well, you said you can't play alone. And you're _dying_ to play, Draco, I can see it. So I'm going to convince them to let you."

He growled at her. "I'm not welcome."

"Neither am I, and I'll go with you and watch or something. It's not like I'd be leaving you alone with them."

"I'm not afraid of being alone with them," he said fiercely.

"No, I know," she assured him. "I just mean, I'll be there. So you don't feel totally out of place."

"They won't let me play, Luce."

"Sure, they will. You just have to agree to play fair and be civil and tolerate each other. It'd be worth it, wouldn't it?"

Draco considered for what must have been a full minute before answering, "Yeah, okay. It's worth it. But I'm not taking any shit from Potter."

"I wouldn't expect you to."

Luci was out of the room before her brother could protest, heading up to the third landing, where she'd seen the other kids going directly after meals.

There was a door open near one end of the hall, and a breeze was blowing onto the landing. She could hear laughter, and when she got nearer, she was inhaling fresh air. It smelled crisp and her mood was instantly buoyed.

Standing in the doorway, she saw a crystal blue sky, with three figures flying in every direction. Hermione was sitting on a bench nearby, reading a book. Despite it being December, the atmosphere in the room was mild and pleasant.

Luci stood and watched. They were chasing a few objects around, and they were unbelievably fast on their broomsticks. Ginny was dashing about like lightning, and Luci could see yet another reason why she belonged with Harry.

"Hey, do you wanna play?"

She looked up to see Ron eying her, and she instantly blushed.

"No, I'm atrocious, believe me. I was just watching."

This was when Harry noticed her, for the first time in months. Her stomach writhed under his gaze.

"Come on! I'm sure you're not that bad."

"Absolutely not!" Luci called back at him.

And then Harry had zipped down and landed in front of her. She managed to hide her instant breathlessness at his proximity.

"Why not?"

His hair was windblown and he was breathing heavily. God, she wanted to touch him…

"Because," she managed, "I have no desire to make a fool of myself."

Harry shook his head. "We're just playing around."

She bit her lip nervously. "Actually… I wanted to see if Draco could play."

He moved away from her and scowled, "No way."

"Please, Harry," she pleaded. "He's bored and miserable, just like the rest of us. And he loves it. He'll play fair; I've already talked to him about it."

He looked stunned that she would even ask. It was audacious, she had to agree, since they hadn't spoken in so long. And now she was asking for something so contentious.

"Hurry up, Harry!" she heard Ginny yell irritably.

But he didn't look away from Luci. "Play a round with us and I'll think about it."

She had asked something insane of him, and now he was doing the same.

"Fine," she sighed, futile in his presence, "but you have to promise not to laugh."

"I promise," agreed Harry with a serious expression.

Luci began gnawing on the insides of her cheeks, anxious, as she went to retrieve a broom from the collection against the wall. She hadn't flown in so long that she wasn't sure if she could remember. But she was able to follow Harry into the air, keeping fairly steady, despite her nausea. Was it him or the altitude?

Ron joined them. "Do you know the rules?"

She frowned, trying to remember what Draco had told her. "Sort of. Don't you just get a ball through that hole over there?"

She nodded her head towards one of the goals and Ron laughed, "Harry, you'll have to let her be the Chaser, I think."

That term meant nothing to her. Her eyes wide, she squeaked, "What does the Chaser do again?"

Ron shook his head. "Just get the ball through the hole, like you said."

Luci could only nod. She was overwhelmed. She'd never met a sport that she could play well, and embarrassing herself in front of Harry was the last thing in the world that she wanted to do. But it was for Draco.

_For Draco_, she told herself resolutely.

Harry had added, "And I'm going to try to stop you."

She grimaced at him.

"And I will ignore you all!" cut in Ginny from somewhere above them.

"Me too!" came Hermione's voice from below.

Luci gave Harry a terrified expression, but he merely asked, "Okay, are you ready?"

She looked around. "Which ball am I supposed to be throwing?"

Harry pointed to a large, brown sphere. "That one. Hey, Hermione, pass me that bat."

A large wooden object rose effortlessly into the air, and Harry snagged it. Then there was a whistle blow, and he deserted her.

Bewildered, Luci sat suspended in air, watching the activity around her. After a few minutes, she made her way clumsily toward the ball that Harry had indicated. But it instinctively flew away from her. She hissed at it and pursued.

She finally managed to get her hands on it, but in letting go of her broomstick, nearly fell, and had to release the ball and start all over.

The second time, she was able to grip her broomstick with her thighs and throw the ball a short distance, but it soared left of the field, and nowhere near the goal.

This happened again, a few minutes later, and Ginny whizzed by, laughing hysterically at her.

Luci wanted to cry. Ron wasn't even paying attention anymore, but Harry was watching her. He looked disappointed. She would never be good at Quidditch. She would never be interesting. She would never be… well, she would never be Ginny Weasley.

She swallowed her pain, took a deep breath, and went after the ball again, this time seizing it with one hand. She tried to balance, to have the other hand free, but ended up losing the ball, which slammed into her face spitefully.

Dazed and humiliated, she cried, "Screw this! I give up!"

She started to descend, but Harry was suddenly floating next to her. Why wouldn't he go away? She couldn't handle him anymore.

"It's okay," he encouraged, but she could see that he was stifling his laughter. "You can't be great at everything!"

She was miserable. "Yeah, but I'm great a _nothing_."

He shook his head. "Oh, shut up."

Luci was preparing to tell _him_ to shut up and fuck off, but instead, she felt a blinding pain in the side of her stomach. She lost hold of her broom and went rocketing towards the ground.


	26. Chapter TwentySix: The Look

**Chapter Twenty-Six – The Look (corresponds with POTP Chapter 17)**

Luci's small body struck the floor with force, and she knew that her ankle was broken. She could also feel her elbow throbbing. She looked up and her eyes landed on Ginny, who gave her a smug grin. Did she…? How _dare_ she!

Hermione and Harry rushed to Luci's side. She sprang to her feet, enraged, tears pouring from her eyes.

"All you all right?" asked Harry, looking as if he wanted to help her up.

Luci flew at him, driving at his chest and sobbing, "Dammit, Harry, I told you, I hate this game!"

He looked like he wanted to get away from her, and she ceased, stepping back in shame.

Hermione contributed, "You and me both."

"That was quite a fall," said Ron, touching the ground. "You all right?"

Luci could only nod at him. She must look like such a baby. At least her ankle was back in place.

Harry moved towards her again. "Sorry, I didn't know anyone could be _that_ bad at Quidditch."

"Yeah, well," she spat at him.

Then she looked back up, met Ginny's gaze, and gave her the most hateful glare she could muster.

"So can Draco play or not?" she asked Harry crossly. "Don't tell me I did that crap for nothing."

Him and his stupid little girlfriend.

He considered for a moment and then agreed, "If you'll be here to keep him in line."

_Like I'd leave him alone with you people_, she thought, but only said, "Deal."

Then she staggered from the room, as quickly as she could on her sore ankle.

"What the hell happened to you?" Draco questioned immediately, when she had returned to his room.

"I got you into the game," answered Luci irritably, imagining that she looked like a wreck.

"By fighting a Centaur?" frowned her brother.

She sighed. "No. They made me play. And I'm rubbish. And… I had a fall."

"Those pissers! I'll–"

"It's okay," Luci cut him off. "You're in. That's all that matters. You can play tomorrow."

Draco grinned. "Thanks. You're awesome. I owe you one."

And she couldn't help smiling back.

* * *

Later that evening, she went to talk to Ginny again. Obviously, that crazy bitch still thought that Luci was competition. It was ridiculous, of course, and she had to set things straight.

"Go away," said the red-head, upon seeing her.

"No," Luci insisted, letting herself into the room. Hermione wasn't there. "Why did you knock me from my broom?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," smirked Ginny.

Luci shook her head. "Give me a fucking break. Why did you do it? You can't possibly think that I'm after your boyfriend, who I haven't spoken to in over a month. So why?"

She shrugged. "Anyone who's that bad at Quidditch shouldn't play. Thought it'd teach you a lesson. Not to try to weasel your way into _our_ game."

"I see," Luci replied. "Well, I _don't_ play Quidditch. I think it's ridiculous. But Draco does. And he will. In _your_ game."

"We don't want him!" hissed Ginny.

"Don't you think I know that?" Luci launched back. "We know that no one wants us around. But think of someone besides yourself. He _needs_ that game."

"Draco Malfoy is evil," she said matter-of-factly.

Luci's hands went to her hips. "Well, to me, it looks like Ginny Weasley is evil too. Which is weird, because everyone says such wonderful things about you. So why do I only see the jealous, possessive side? Perhaps there's a side to Draco that you're not seeing."

Ginny looked flabbergasted.

"I'm not going to judge you on the one side I've seen, because I don't know you. So don't judge Draco, because _you_ don't know _him_."

She was being more generous than she wanted to be. But she didn't need to be on the bad side of Harry's girlfriend.

The red-head was flushed.

"Fine. Sorry about the Bludger."

She sighed. "Me too. You made me look like an idiot."

Ginny laughed. "It was kind of hilarious."

"I'm sure _you_ thought so," Luci managed to smile.

She left Ginny's room feeling like she may have at least solved _one_ her multitude of problems.

* * *

Luci and Draco were approaching the Quidditch pitch.

"Are you excited?" she asked her brother.

"A bit," he grimaced, "but mostly annoyed to have to play with those losers."

"You'll tolerate it," Luci replied. "And you'll have a blast."

"Let's hope so."

They arrived just in time to see Ron going in to kiss Hermione.

Luci felt instant envy of their mutual love.

Draco made a gagging noise.

"Disgusting. Are we in the wrong room? I'm looking for Quidditch."

Luci shoved her elbow into his side to quiet him, and he scowled down at her.

"Are we in time for a game?" she questioned the room.

Everyone was staring at them, but Harry met her eyes, and she felt a tremor go through her.

"Just getting started," he answered. "What'll you play, Malfoy?"

Her brother responded coldly, "Seeker, of course."

"I'm Seeker," Ginny protested loudly.

Draco glared, "Not anymore."

Luci took his wrist, leading him inside, and reprimanded him, "Draco, we're _guests_, remember?"

Everyone looked very put-out that they were there, and she knew that Draco wanted to dart out as much as she did. She kept thinking that maybe they should…

Harry stepped forward and snapped, "Look, Malfoy, do you think you can handle playing Chaser?"

"Why not Beater?" asked her brother petulantly.

"Because I don't trust you with a Bludger."

Draco glowered, and Luci wanted to tell Harry that it was Ginny who he couldn't trust with a Bludger.

Instead, she agreed, "He'll play Chaser," and shoved a broomstick into her brother's hands.

"Fine," he hissed, and then he was in the air, demanding, "Well, are you lot coming or not?"

He was a beautiful flyer. Luci wondered why she hadn't received those genes.

"Keep an eye on him," warned Harry, next to her.

Luci nodded, "Oh, I will, in between catching up on my reading, of course."

She sat down on the bleachers next to Hermione, who inquired, "What have you got?"

Luci showed her the book and responded, "Ancient Runes."

A boisterous laugh came from Harry, and Luci raised an eyebrow at him.

He shook his head. "You two will have your own kind of fun then."

Harry joined the others in the sky, and Hermione blew the whistle, before asking Luci, "How do you like it? Ancient Runes?"

"It's interesting," Luci replied slowly. "Draco doesn't agree, though, and I'm having a hard time teaching it, as a subject. It's like language."

Hermione grinned. "Yes, it's just like language! How far have you read?"

"Oh, I've gone all the way through. I'm just reviewing, creating a syllabus, sort of."

"Wow," breathed Hermione. "What else are you reading?"

Luci was about to answer, but heard bickering coming from above. She looked up to see her brother swerving threateningly at Ron.

"Don't make me come up there!" she called to the players, and Draco laid off.

"Boys," she said to Hermione.

"Tell me about it," laughed the brunette. "Sometimes, I feel like I'm surrounded by children."

Luci smiled.

"Ginny told me you came to see her," said Hermione cautiously. "She's sorry about hitting you."

Luci gritted her teeth. "Why does she hate me so much?"

"She doesn't hate you. She loves Harry. She's… possessive, I'm afraid." Hermione shrugged apologetically.

"Well, I don't blame her. It's just that she has no reason to be."

"Really?"

"Of course," blurted Luci. "What do you mean? Yes, _really_."

Hermione tilted her head to one side. "The way you look at him..."

"He spoke to me yesterday for the first time in _ages_!" cried Luci, exasperated. "I don't _look_ at him!"

Her heart was pumping with fear. Hermione could see.

"All right," the brunette relented, her hands up. "I'm just trying to protect Ginny."

"I know. And you should. But I meant it when I said that they belong together."

Saying it out loud still made her want to throw up. She wished that it wasn't so obviously true.

Hermione looked up affectionately at the pair of them. "They really do, don't they?"

Luci sighed sadly. "Yeah."

"So what else are you reading?"

"A little of everything, really, to keep Draco on his toes."

"What's your favorite?" prodded Hermione.

"I dunno… maybe Potions?"

"Are you any good at Divination?" she asked curiously.

"Eh, I get by," Luci responded. "It's not… exact enough for me. Why?"

"Oh, I know, I feel the same! It's guesswork, isn't it? Absurd."

"Yeah, I like rules," Luci concurred. "Which is why I enjoy Potions, I guess."

"Academics are obviously your strength, so why are you an Auror?"

Luci frowned. "I dunno, half the time. When they do all of that testing to see what you'd be good at, it always told me to try being an Auror. But, truthfully, I'm not that great at it."

"Hmm," contemplated Hermione. "Interesting. What would you do instead?"

"Teach, maybe."

"Ooh, what would be your focus?"

Luci spent the rest of the game discussing magical theory and subjects with Hermione, who seemed eager to compare notes. She enjoyed the conversation thoroughly, but was restless, knowing that Harry wasn't far away, and hoping that he and her brother could be civil.

Harsh words were often exchanged in the air, but overall, the Quidditch game was a success, and it seemed that Draco might be almost welcome to play again.

* * *

The next morning, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were not at breakfast. Ginny told everyone that they had all played Quidditch late into the night, and they were sleeping in. Luci thought this seemed fishy, however, especially because Ginny wasn't sleeping in. She tried not to think much of it.

She later checked at the pitch, hoping that Draco could play again, and no one was there. But Molly didn't seem to be worried, as she would be if something was wrong, so Luci tried not to worry either.

Until the three of them weren't in the kitchen for lunch…

"And in my third year," Draco was saying between bites, going on again about his Quidditch successes.

Luci found the ramblings entirely dull, as she cared less for the game now than she had before her incident. But she listened intently anyway. The excitement in his voice, the way his eyes lit up – it was worth the boring details.

Out of the corner of her vision, she saw someone enter the kitchen, but she kept her gaze on Draco anyway, until there was a groan. She glanced up, and he was clutching the doorframe, and there was so much blood…

"Harry!" she heard herself shriek, before she could prevent it.

She flew from the table, knocking her plate to the floor, and then tumbling over the bench. She fell onto her palms, and she felt the skin scrape right off, but she crawled on her hands anyway, towards his limp body, which had now slumped to the floor. Her wounds were already healed by the time she'd reached him.

"Harry," she said again. "Harry, you've gotta wake up!"

She put her hands to his face, tapping him lighting, trying to rouse him. Then she reached for whatever was protruding from his chest.

"Don't!" warned Remus, from her right. "It could make it worse."

"We need to get him upstairs," said Arthur, who bent down, lifting Harry, and then he started into the hallway, where he stopped abruptly.

Luci looked past the pair of them and saw Ron, alongside an unconscious Hermione, on the entry floor. Far more blood. In fact, she realized that most of the blood covering Harry probably belonged to Ron.

Where had they been?

"I'll take him," Remus said to Arthur, and the red-headed man handed over Harry and moved towards his son.

Luci's first instinct was to accompany Remus upstairs and to look after Harry, but she'd already made such a spectacle of herself. Ginny was glaring at her and her brother was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking dumbstruck.

"Is there anything that I can do?" she asked Molly, who was tearing at Ron's bloody clothing.

"Arthur, we have to take him to St. Mungo's," she said tearfully to her husband, and then turned to Luci and answered, "Put Hermione into bed."

At this, Hermione seemed to come to, and she protested, "Absolutely not! I'm going wherever Ron goes!"

"There's nothing more you can do for him, dear," Arthur replied.

"But–"

"Up to bed, go on now," encouraged Tonks, who was on her way up the stairs too.

Hermione made to get to her feet, but she fell dizzily back onto her knees.

Luci rushed to her, pulling her up and leading her towards the stairs.

"Take care of Ron," she called woozily.

"He'll be okay," Luci tried to reassure her.

"He's hurt," she murmured.

"I know."

Once in the room that Hermione shared with Ginny, Luci draped her over her bed.

"Are you all right? Are you cut anywhere? Anything that you need?"

"I'm fine," responded Hermione, her voice weak.

"Rest, then. Do you wanna change?"

Hermione nodded and began to pull off her shoes. Luci didn't feel the need to be present for this, so she had started for the door.

"Wait, where's Harry?" she heard Hermione call after her.

Luci turned back, unsure of how to answer.

"What?" Hermione asked in alarm.

"I… I don't know what's wrong with him. They took him to his room."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Why are you… why do you look so scared?"

Luci blinked, but before she could reply, the brunette girl had continued, "Why didn't they take him to St. Mungo's with Ron?"

"I don't know," said Luci, shaking her head.

A continued expression of suspicion was evident on her face, but Hermione concluded, "I can manage now. Thanks."

Luci merely nodded and made to leave again.

"You have feelings for Harry," she heard Hermione stop her a second time. "I knew it."

She turned abruptly. "_What_?"

"I saw the look on your face."

"I… there was no _look_. Stop saying that!"

Hermione was studying her, and under the scrutiny, Luci averted her eyes.

"He loves Ginny."

Luci's gaze snapped up again. Then, she choked, "I know."

"Good. As long as you know."

Luci clenched her jaw and hurried away.

Her eyes were stinging. She'd been found out. Would Hermione say anything? Certainly not. She obviously wanted to protect his relationship with Ginny. Still though… Her cheeks were burning with guilt.


	27. Chapter TwentySeven: Loyalties

**Chapter Twenty-Seven - Loyalties**

Downstairs, Luci learned that Ginny and her parents had taken Ron to the hospital, and Remus and Tonks must have still been upstairs with Harry. Draco and his mother were the only two remaining in the kitchen.

"Hermione's okay," she said to them.

"We have no interest in the well-being of a Mudblood," replied Narcissa coolly.

"Our interest is why you tripped over yourself to get to Potter," Draco chimed in, his eyes narrowed accusingly at her.

Luci had been expecting this.

"He was hurt. The trip was a clumsy accident. I was only trying to help."

"You were frightened," observed Narcissa.

She swallowed hard. She was _still_ frightened.

"Blood is frightening."

"You've gone soft," said Draco, in disgust.

What was wrong with him? He was as soft as she was. Was this for the benefit of his mother?

Luci scoffed, "I've always _been_ soft! Look, unlike the two of you, I have concern for others. That's all. Don't make it more than it is. You know where my loyalties lie."

They both simply stared at her.

"You _know_ where my loyalties lie," she repeated, and then declared, "I've lost my appetite," and hurried to her own room, where she sealed the door and combusted from the intensity of her emotions.

* * *

She must have cried herself to sleep. There was an insistent knocking upon her bedroom door.

Luci moved from her bed and checked herself briefly in the mirror. Her eyes were still slightly puffy, but hopefully, no one would notice.

"You're needed," said Ginny callously, when Luci had swung open the door.

Luci frowned at her and shook her head.

"Just follow me," spat the girl.

Even with that scowl on her face, Ginny was still stunning, and Luci hated her in that moment.

"Ginny, it wasn't what it looked like –" she started.

But Ginny cut her off, "Shut up. Liar."

"Fine," Luci gave up, not caring anymore if Ginny knew, or if Hermione knew, or even if Draco knew. The only thing she cared about what was that Harry would be okay.

She had wordlessly followed the redhead, two doors down, into Harry's room.

He laid there, his body still, his chest bare. He looked… beautiful. Except for the gaping, bloody hole in his left pectoral muscle. She forced her eyes away from him.

Molly had been saying something to her.

"Sorry?" Luci asked, trying to slow her pulse.

The woman sighed. "We'll be taking turns," she repeated. "Every fifteen minutes, the ointment needs to be applied directly to the wound. We'll be doing three- to four-hour shifts each. Yours starts at seven this evening. But I need to show you what to do."

"He'll be okay, then?"

Tonks, Remus, and now Alastor were also in the room, and the latter said, "The glass penetrated his pleural cavity, but it didn't pierce his lung, so we simply need to heal the tear."

"Why not take him to the hospital?"

Molly sighed as though Luci was the stupidest person alive, and Remus answered patiently, "Harry is a little too… conspicuous right now. We can take care of him here."

Luci nodded in understanding as Molly was demonstrating the application of the salve. She was unable to take her gaze from Harry, his messy hair falling into his face, his naked chest rising and falling slowly…

_Stop it, just fucking stop it_, she swore at herself.

She thought that this might be the first time that she'd seen him without his glasses, which were lying on the nightstand next to him. It made him look different. But he was still the boy of whom she'd grown so fond. God, she missed him…

"All right?" asked Tonks.

Luci nodded, ripping her eyes back up.

"Got it then?" Molly queried, giving Luci a wary glance.

"Yes," she answered. "How's Ron?"

Molly bit her lip. "We're unsure, as of yet. The Healers will take good care of him. Be back here at seven."

And suddenly, seven o'clock seemed like a million years away.

* * *

During the next few days, Luci looked forward to her shifts, watching over Harry. She read books, mostly, and applied the salve like clockwork. But when she was sure that no one was looking, she would simply gaze at him. She might as well, she allowed herself, because he would never belong to her, and this would probably be as good as it ever got. She often wanted to run her fingers through his hair, or over his chest, or along his jaw line. But she wouldn't let herself go that far. It would have been slightly creepy, anyway.

One evening, as her watch was coming to an end, and Ginny had entered to take over, Harry made a small noise. Luci, from near the end of the bed, and Ginny, from the doorway, both looked at him hopefully.

A moment passed, and he muttered, "Luci…"

Luci's stomach flip-flopped, and she wasn't sure what to think of it. Both of the girls stood there silently, waiting to hear more. But Harry didn't stir.

Luci turned to Ginny, who was glaring coldly.

"It's nothing," Luci assured her, trying not to grin like an idiot. "He's not even conscious, look. He just… knows I'm here, maybe."

"Well, _I'm_ here too," snarled the redhead.

"It's nothing," repeated Luci, and then she marched past Ginny and out of the room.

Behind her own closed door, she released a long breath and smiled to herself. She was certain that it was nothing, just like she'd said. Yet… it was _something_…

* * *

The day that Fred and George brought Ron home from St. Mungo's was the day that Harry regained full consciousness. Molly informed Luci that her assistance with the salve was no longer needed, as Harry could now apply it himself.

And Luci was disappointed. Not that he was better, of course. She was thrilled that he was better. But those hours had been her time with him. And now it was over. Now he'd go back to ignoring her, and she'd go back to pretending that it didn't tear her apart.

On another note, Hermione had been seeking Luci out lately, to discuss academics mostly, and Luci had to admit that she enjoyed the brunette's company. She was so bright and creative, and it was stimulating. With Ron and Harry back in her life, she wouldn't have time for those things anymore.

So Luci would have to go back to spending time with Draco, who was still mad at her for caring the least bit about Harry. She'd tried to explain to him that it had been instinct, the sight of blood, the impulse to help someone in need. Her brother had commented that it all seemed a little dodgy to him, and had been cross with her ever since. He was spending most of his time flying around the Quidditch pitch by himself, but when they saw each other, he was curt. So Luci wasn't looking forward to having all of those hours with him again.

But Christmas was nearing, and she hadn't finished the pocket watch yet. So she took this time, instead, to visit Dumbledore's office on one final occasion. She'd been able to come and go fairly easily, with the school being closed, and this trip was no exception.

"Ah, Luci, I was beginning to think you'd grown frustrated and returned home," the portrait greeted her.

"You have no idea," Luci grumbled, coming in and having a seat. "But I'm still hanging in."

Dumbledore nodded understandingly. "And how is Harry's condition?"

"He's awake now, so I haven't seen him, but I imagine he's much better."

Luci was laying the pocket watch open on the desk in preparation for the final enclosures.

"You seem upset by his improvement," commented the portrait.

"No, of course not," muttered Luci.

"Might I help in any way?"

"No," she sighed. "Just with finishing the watch for Christmas."

"Is Christmas here already? Hmm."

"A few days."

"Well, then, we'd better get to it. I've saved some particular favorites. In the cupboard."

Luci stood and went to retrieve those favorites from the cabinet. They had been doctoring the watch much like a pensieve, liquefying the Headmaster's antic dotes and pouring them into its face. They'd tried one other method, using vaporized thoughts, but this one seemed to work better.

"Which ones?" she asked the portrait.

"The three up front there," he indicated with his blackened hand.

She took the trio of vials that stood in a line by themselves and brought them to the desk. Removing the cork on the first one, she tipped it gingerly into the watch's spinning face. The liquid gave its usual swirl, settling in, before declaring, "_Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself._"

"A nice one," she told Dumbledore.

He smiled.

She'd been impressed with all of his quotes. The Headmaster had always chosen things that he'd said to Harry in the past, things that the boy could use, things that might encourage him. Luci hoped that they would.

The second vial revealed, "_It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends._"

"Wow," breathed Luci.

"Does it strike a chord?" asked the portrait.

She shook her head. "I don't have any friends, I'm afraid."

Dumbledore chuckled. "We both know that isn't true. Perhaps they are simply far away at the moment."

"Yeah, I'll say," Luci agreed moodily, uncorking the third tube.

"Last one," she said to the Headmaster. "Cheers!"

It churned in the watch's face for longer than any of the others had, before they heard the words.

"_I am not worried, Harry. I am with you._"

Luci gasped, and after a very long moment, questioned, "Did you… say that to him?"

"Indeed."

She shook her head, musing, "You have such faith in him."

"I do," nodded Dumbledore. "Do you think my faith misplaced?"

"No," answered Luci slowly. "Sometimes I just forget what he means to this world, that he's not just a boy, that he has this terrible burden on his shoulders…"

She didn't want him to be their hero. She wanted him to be able to… well, to see the world through the eyes of someone who didn't have to save it.

She sighed, and gestured towards the watch. "I think it's finished, except… well, maybe I could engrave it with something? Something meaningful?"

Dumbledore furrowed his brow, considering.

Meanwhile, Luci closed the pocket watch and turned it over. Then she rolled up her sleeves and took out her wand, positioning it over the smooth gold flipside.

"Mmm, hmm," nodded the Headmaster, after awhile.

"What would you like?" she asked him.

The portrait smiled broadly. "Let it say… _Dumbledore's Man_."

She frowned up at him. "What does that mean?"

"It means that Harry has never let me down. He'll know."

Nodding, she created the inscription and put her wand back into her pocket.

"It's done. Do you think he'll like it?"

"I am certain," encouraged Dumbledore.

* * *

It wasn't but a few days later when Bill and Fleur arrived for Christmas, with Charlie in tow, much to Luci's delight and relief. She'd been missing Harry like crazy and feeling sorry for herself, and needed desperately to take her mind off of it.

Everyone had gathered in the kitchen to meet them, except for Ron and Harry, both of whom Molly had confined to bed. When Luci had heard the commotion and come downstairs, her eyes fell immediately on Charlie. He grinned, and she squealed and headed straight for his arms. He lifted her, twirled her once, and put her back on her feet.

"It's good to see you," he was beaming.

"Not as good as it is to see _you_!" she nearly cried. "How have you been?"

Charlie seemed to notice what Luci had been oblivious to – that everyone was staring at them.

"Come on, I'll tell you everything," he said, leading her from the kitchen.

"Fleur!" called Luci on her way out, and the dazzling blonde met her gaze. "We need to catch up too!"

Fleur gave her a nod and a smile over the noise.

Charlie took Luci to the drawing room, where he hugged her again, asking, "How are things? Is it awful?"

She couldn't help grinning, because he was here, and she could tell him all truths. So she sat down on the couch and said, "Yeah, it's awful."

He plopped down next to her. "I'm sorry. What's been going on?"

"Later, later. What about you? How's JoAnn? Why isn't she here?"

"She's good," he smiled. "But we didn't think it was time yet for her to meet my mad family."

Luci scrunched up her nose, recalling her mention of JoAnn to Molly.

"What?" Charlie asked.

"Your mom. I didn't realize that she didn't know about JoAnn, and it kind of came out of my mouth. I'm so sorry."

He pursed his lips hesitantly, but then replied, "It's all right. It's not that I don't want them to know about her. It's just that… she's kind of… adamant about not wanting children, so we want to be sure we're in it for the long haul, before I have to break that to them."

"Oh, god, they'll be crushed," laughed Luci.

"Exactly!" he grinned. "Maybe I can avoid that for awhile longer, and just explain to Mum that JoAnn had other holiday plans. She's sure to ask why I'm keeping things from her."

"But you love her? JoAnn? The long haul is a possibility?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Yeah, of course."

"I'm so happy you're here," she chirruped. "Have you been busy with the dragons?"

"Always," answered Charlie. "It wasn't easy to get time off, but I needed to be here. It's hard enough, with Percy missing holidays. I don't think Mum could handle it if we were both absent."

"Why doesn't Percy come?"

"He doesn't get on with any of us much anymore. I think he's made some bad decisions while working at the Ministry. It was a surprise to see him at Bill's wedding, actually."

"Hmm," pondered Luci. "He's strange… but it's _family_, y'know? He should be here."

"Good luck convincing him of that," he grumbled, and then, "So what about you? Do you all just sit around here in this gloom?"

"Pretty much, yeah," she sighed. "I try to teach Draco what I can, and I read a lot. All of the kids have been playing Quidditch upstairs. Hermione built a pitch."

"Clever, that Hermione. I bet they're loving that."

"To an extent," Luci shrugged. "I ruined it a bit for them, I think, by begging them to let Draco play. Now there's a lot of squabbling, but I think everyone has a good time, overall."

"What about you? Are you having a good time?"

She released a short laugh. "I wouldn't say that."

"How come? Just boredom?"

She bit her lip. Okay, there was _one_ thing that she couldn't tell him. So she just said, "Mostly. Homesick too, and unwelcome here, and lots of things. Just trying to survive."

"Well, I'm here now, for a few days, at least, and we can hang out."

"Yes, you're here now," smiled Luci.

* * *

At dinner, she heard all about Fleur's honeymoon with Bill. She even got a few details that she would have liked to have not heard. They had been in a "tropical paradise," apparently, but Fleur complained of the bugs and the humidity. When Luci asked her if she'd return, she stuck up her nose and declared that they would stay in Europe for future excursions.

It was good to have Fleur back, drama and all.

Later that night, Luci was getting her mother's Christmas package ready to mail the next morning. She was sending some Muggle photos of Grimmauld Place, Hogwarts, and other places she'd visited, as well as a lovely gardening manual she'd bought from a bookstore up the street.

It occurred to her that perhaps, while she was at the post office, she could send a letter to Percy, to ask him to come for Christmas. It would make Charlie happy, and she would love that.

So Luci sat down at her desk, deliberating what exactly to say to Percy Weasley, a boy she'd only met once and didn't particularly like. She feared that she hadn't made a very good impression on him, having claimed to be dating two of his brothers. But he had shown interest in her. Perhaps, if she nurtured that interest, just a little bit…

_Dear Percy, _she wrote slowly with her silver quill.

_Your entire family is here for Christmas, and I have discovered that a Weasley gathering just isn't the same without you. I feel as though we didn't get a proper chance to get to know one another, or to thoroughly discuss our roles at the Ministry. Therefore, I would love it, and so would everyone else, if you could join us for the holiday. You can find us at the address below._

_Yours, _

_Luci_

_P.S. I'm no longer seeing Fred or George. Please do not mention this to them, as it was a difficult break-up for all of us._

She laughed aloud at the ridiculous letter. She thought that it might persuade him though. Her only task now was to stop in at Hogwarts and ask Professor Dumbledore if he was willing to put the address on the letter. She was not the Secret Keeper and couldn't reveal their location.

But this could wait until morning.

Luci crawled into bed, feeling just a little bit happier than she had in months. Charlie and Fleur were here, and at least the two of them cared that she was alive.


	28. Chapter TwentyEight: Starstruck

**Chapter Twenty-Eight – Starstruck (corresponds with POTP Chapter 18)**

For the next few days, Luci spent most of her time with Fleur and Charlie, filling them in on what little had been happening in her life, and listening to their stories. They had much more to tell, of course.

Fleur's honeymoon had been a wonderful adventure, especially when the full moon had risen one night and Bill had impulsively carried her into the jungle and torn off her clothes. Luci thought it sounded perfect and romantic, but Fleur complained that she'd been eaten alive by mosquitoes. So Luci, of course, told her to stop her bitching and be grateful that someone _wanted_ to tear her clothes off. And Fleur accused her of having a crush on Charlie, whereupon, Luci laughed until she cried while adamantly denying it.

Though her actions said otherwise. She was spending a lot of time with him. She figured everyone must think that they were seeing each other. But neither of them cared. They enjoyed each other's company too much. Of course, Luci did remind herself what had happened the last time she'd enjoyed the company of a boy who had a girlfriend…

But she could really be herself with him, in a way that she never could with Harry. She had even told him all about her problems with Ginny, her plans to create her own safe house, and how her brother was giving her the silent treatment for helping Harry to find that letter at his family's home.

Oddly, it took Draco a long while to confront her about all of this time spent with Charlie. But he finally did, on Christmas Eve, as she was heading to the drawing room to meet her friend.

Draco happened to be on his way back from the bathroom, and upon seeing her, demanded, "Are you off to see that blood traitor ginger again?"

Luci frowned. "Oh, _now_ you wanna talk to me?"

"Answer the question."

"Fine. I _am_, though it's none of your business. And don't call him that.

"I deserve to know who you're snogging instead of helping me revise!" huffed her brother.

She scoffed. "Draco, don't be silly. Charlie has a girlfriend. We have never done any snogging. We just hang out."

"Why don't you hang out with me anymore?"

Draco's eyes were melancholy, and she realized that she'd missed this version of him.

"Because you were angry with me and didn't want me around," she answered gently.

"That's not true," he sighed. "I just… you confuse me. I feel like I don't know who you are, or why you do certain things, like… spend time with these people that I hate."

Luci tilted her head to one side, studying his face. "Just because you hate them doesn't mean that I have to."

"We're Death Eaters!" he hissed. "We hate the same people!"

"Shh!" snapped Luci, and then fumbled for a quick answer.

Her brother was eying her expectantly.

"In the process of pretending to… well, to be a member of the Order… during that process, I've grown to like some of them. That's all. Do you expect me to isolate myself in my room until you decide to stop ignoring me?"

"I haven't… _ignored_ you."

"_Everyone_ ignores me, Draco. Except for Charlie. And I appreciate that."

His shoulders slumped in defeat, and he whined, "Sorry for ignoring you. Now, will you come back?"

Luci smirked. "You miss me, eh?"

Draco scowled at her, but admitted, "Yes."

"I miss you too," she grinned. "We'll play chess tomorrow, okay? There should be no fighting on Christmas anyway."

* * *

Before turning in that night, Luci sent four packages off to their respective beds – an emerald green cloak for Draco that she had specifically traveled to Diagon Alley to purchase in the middle of the night, a hologram that she created from memory of Bertha for Charlie since he missed her, a hair straightener for Fleur for those days when magic wasn't enough, and finally, Dumbledore's pocket watch for Harry.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face. She loved Christmas.

The next morning, she was woken earlier than usual by the clamor throughout the house. She imagined it was everyone getting excited about their gifts.

She sat up slowly, yawning and shivering against the cold, before retrieving her own presents from the desk. Amy, Kristen, and Josh had mailed parcels that had all arrived a few days ago. She had mailed theirs off to the states even earlier, weeks ago. But there had been nothing from her mother. She imagined something would be here eventually. Her mother never did anything with punctuality. It still made her sad though. Being away from home on Christmas was wretched.

Kristen's package was first, and Luci was delighted to find a framed Muggle photo of the pair of them. It was a candid shot from when they had gone to a concert the year before with Kristin's younger brother, Clay. The two girls grinning up at her looked so happy, in the pre-Maggie days. She sighed and put the photo away in her desk drawer, where Draco would never see it.

The second gift was a Japanese charm from Josh, and a note that read, "These jade pieces are said to help you to feel close to those who love you when you are far away. I miss you. Merry Christmas. Love, Josh."

Luci whimpered aloud. She missed him too. Very much. He would be pissed when he found out that she'd fallen in love with some guy who didn't give a shit about her. Again.

Amy had sent a box of coconut macaroons, Luci's favorite, and something that she hadn't been able to find around here, not that she'd looked far and wide or anything. She opened it immediately and shoved one into her mouth. It tasted like… comfort.

It was then, while chewing happily, that she noticed a plain brown lump at the bottom of her bed. She reached for it warily, and turned it over in her hands, before clawing curiously at the wrapping.

Inside, she found a book entitled _Beginners Quidditch_. Frowning, she opened the cover, and there, inscribed in his familiar handwriting, was, "_Learn something, will you? Draco_."

Luci laughed, feeling a flood of warmth in her chest. But then it occurred to her that she'd sent him that cloak anonymously, and he was going to think that she had forgotten him on Christmas. She'd have to bring something down to him. But what? Shit.

She was one of the first people in the kitchen. When Draco arrived, with his mother on his heels, he was wearing her cloak about his shoulders, and he looked magnificent in it. He was beaming from ear to ear, and she couldn't help doing the same at the sight of him.

He plopped down opposite her and asked, "What do you think?"

"It's gorgeous," she said affectionately.

He scrunched his nose at her slightly and replied, "I would have said 'distinguished,' but yeah."

"Positively _majestic_," commented Narcissa.

"Distinguished," agreed Luci, noticing Harry entering the room with Ron. He looked pleased, and she wondered what he thought of the watch.

"Something this excessive could only come from my father," her brother was announcing proudly. "There was no note attached or anything, but we're certain he sent it."

She felt heavy with… well, resentment, she supposed. She wanted to take credit for the cloak, but Draco was right – it was too excessive, and she couldn't explain. So she bit her tongue and instead, handed him the gift that she'd snuck down the street to buy just a few minutes ago from the only place that was open. It was a Muggle cookbook, and though Draco had shown interest in cooking before, he looked at the book, and then at Luci, as though he didn't understand.

And then Harry was passing behind her, and she couldn't help blurting, "Merry Christmas, Harry!"

He stopped and smiled down at her, replying, "Merry Christmas."

Her heart plunged into her stomach and she felt her cheeks pinken. She wasn't used to him anymore. She shouldn't have talked to him. It made her look like she had no pride, and it made Draco frown reprovingly at her before knocking over his glass of pumpkin juice in exasperation.

Narcissa immediately cried, "Oh!" and retrieved her wand, frantically attempting to clean up the spill before it could further soil the cloak.

Draco tried to shove her away and assured her, "My father will get me a new one."

Luci sighed. She should just tell him. She'd be able to clean the cloak anyway, so she was just shaking her head as the pair of them struggled with the sopping material.

"Your father's in Azkaban," provoked Harry from behind her.

Her jaw went slack, but then dropped completely open when Draco threw back, "At least _my_ father is alive!"

And then, Harry was clambering across the table in order to punch her brother straight in the nose.

She gasped, and Draco launched to his feet, clutching his face with his hands, which were now covered in his blood.

Narcissa was standing too, shouting, "How _dare_ you?" and then directing, "_Episkey_," at Draco's poor nose.

It clicked back into place, and he barked, "Have you gone mental, Potter?"

Luci was wondering the same thing.

But Harry merely replied coldly, "You asked for it, Malfoy."

"SHUT! UP!" bellowed Luci impulsively, rising from her seat.

And everyone did just that. It was silent, and every person in the room was looking at her. She didn't care.

"My _god_!" she seethed on. "What _is_ it with you two?"

No one said anything for a moment, as she stood there boiling almost audibly, but then Draco answered, "He hit me!"

She was so mad at _both_ of them, but she shot daggers at her brother and spat, "Can you _blame_ him?"

"You're on _his_ side?"

He sounded hurt, but she continued, "I'm not on _anyone's_ side! I'm just exhausted from trying to referee the two of you! Can't you be civil to one another? It's _Christmas_, after all!"

Draco looked like he was going to argue with her, so she stopped him before he could, raising a palm and insisting, "I don't wanna hear it!"

Narcissa's hands went to her hips. "You can't talk to my son that way!"

Luci huffed. She was so fed up with this woman and her coddling. "Well, _someone_ needs to talk to him that way."

Narcissa opened her mouth to retaliate, but apparently changed her mind, because she said nothing.

And Luci was done with them. She had bigger fish to fry.

She turned around, focusing her glare on Harry, who she felt had inexcusably overstepped, and spouted, "I know he provokes you, but must you always resort to violence?"

He simply blinked at her, looking mystified.

She growled at him.

"You two are infuriating!" she fumed before marching heatedly from the kitchen.

Charlie was on her heels, and he followed her silently all the way to her room.

"I don't feel like talking!" she barked at him, before trying to close him out.

He kept his foot in her way until she gave up and let him in.

He closed the door behind him and took a beat before asking, "You okay?"

"Yes," she sighed, tumbling onto her bed, "just annoyed."

"I can see why you're upset, knowing that Draco is your brother… but what is going on between you and _Harry_?"

Luci looked up at him. Was she transparent to everybody?

First, Hermione, and now Charlie. At least the former hadn't said a word to anyone, as far as Luci knew.

"Nothing," she still answered steadily. If she could throw him off, she would.

"He's the reason you're still here, isn't he? I kept thinking, after the wedding, that there was no way you'd stay here. You'd find a way to get out. You're resourceful. And I was surprised that you were still here."

"I gave my word, and that's why I'm still here," snapped Luci.

"You're miserable," Charlie pointed out. "So what reason would you have to stay? When you just told me yourself that you could create another place?"

"Because!" she cried. "I told Albus I was going to leave, and he asked me to stay put. So I stayed put."

"I'm not judging you. But you should know that he's pretty serious about my sister."

She nearly howled. "I know! He's gonna have a million redheaded babies with Perfect Ginny!"

There were tears now. She wondered how it was possible that she hadn't run out of them yet.

"A lot of people are… intrigued by Harry," Charlie went on carefully. "He's famous and talented and mysterious..."

Luci clenched her jaw, astounded. "Are you accusing me of being _starstruck_?"

"I'm just mentioning the possibility," he said slowly.

She shook her head at him, enraged. "I thought you were my friend. But you're just like everyone else."

"Luci…"

"Get out!" she commanded.

"No, we should talk about–"

"Fine! Then _I'll_ leave. DON'T follow me!"

Then Luci stalked from her own room, leaving Charlie behind, and for some reason, her legs chose to take her to the drawing room.

She selected another book on Ancient Runes from one of the shelves and settled on the couch, her hands shaking. She tried to read for a long while, but couldn't concentrate.

Luci had never felt more hurt. It was the meanest thing that he could have said, and she could hardly believe that it had come from his mouth. Even Hermione hadn't been so callous.

It was such a shame. She had always loved Christmas. Maybe it was the Muggle aspect that she loved – the lights and the candies and the presents under the tree, and no one being hateful, and especially the Christmas carols.

She began to hum her favorite, _Silver Bells_, to comfort herself.

But someone interrupted by calling her name.

She jumped to her feet, dropping the book, and turned to see Harry. Why did it have to be him? Starstruck, indeed. That word could never describe the scope of her emotions towards him.

"I… didn't know you were there," she nearly squeaked at him.

"Sorry."

He came further into the room and bent down to pick up her book, handing it to her gently.

Luci looked into his face, the face that tortured her mind. She missed being with him in this room. So much.

"About all of that downstairs…" she started, wanting to put things right.

He cut her off. "I came to apologize to you. I shouldn't have hit him."

"What he said to you was inexcusable," she protested graciously, though she agreed. "I can't believe his nerve sometimes."

"Yeah," he said, looking away, down at his feet.

Luci was feeling such affection for him, wanting so badly just to reach out and…

Then he muttered, "Don't know how you can stand him."

"He'd ask me the same about you," she replied wryly. "But I know it hurts. Life without your father, I mean, and no one should ever throw it in your face that way."

She was probably saying too much, getting too personal, allowing herself to relate to him.

Harry looked back at her. "Is your father… dead… too?"

"Something like that," she answered hesitantly, chewing on her bottom lip, feeling this need to open up to him that she hadn't felt in so very long… Even though they'd drifted apart, when he was near, it felt like things were still the same.

"I'm really in an awful position here," she spilled. "I care about you both and you hate each other. I can't take sides, so I just have to try to mediate, I guess."

He grinned at her. Why was he grinning? This was not the time for grinning.

"What?" she demanded.

"Nothing. I'll try to get along with him."

"I appreciate that," she sighed, "but I don't think he'd make the same gesture, and it's a two-way street."

She had a hunch that Harry wouldn't make the gesture either, not for long. They were impossible.

"Yeah, he's always been a jerk," he said, true to form.

_So have you!_ she thought. They were both so intense and combative all the time.

"Listen to me, Harry," she seethed at him, and he met her gaze, attentive. "You have to learn to control your anger, _especially_ if you intend on becoming an Auror. You can't go around losing your temper at everyone."

He frowned. "Why are you suddenly talking to me like I'm a child?"

That caught her off-guard. That wasn't how she'd meant it.

"It's just friendly advice. You have to get a grip on your emotions," she explained.

Luci could see his fists clench in fury. It was almost predictable.

She inhaled sharply. "Look, I understand anger; believe me. Better than you know. But it'll own you, and you can't let it. Your destiny is too great."

"I have every right to be angry," he hissed, gritting his teeth.

She nodded, knowing that he was right. "I'd be far angrier than you are if I'd experienced half of what you have! But you need to control your reactions to that anger. Not because you don't have a right to it, but because it's dangerous not to."

"You've never talked to me like this before," he said reproachfully. "What's _really_ wrong?"

Everything was wrong. Absolutely everything.

But she responded, "Nothing's wrong. That's ridiculous."

"No, it isn't," he insisted. "We've hardly spoken in days."

Luci wanted to explode with indignation. How could he say that? _He_ was the one…!

"No," she groused, "_you've_ hardly spoken to _me_ in days."

He shrugged. "Well, I _was_ unconscious… and with Ron and Hermione here, I've just…"

"Exactly," she spat, before he could finish.

Harry narrowed his eyes at her. "Do you have a problem with my friends? Is that what this is about?"

Luci gaped at him. How did she get to be the one at fault here?

"No!" she protested. "No, it's just that, since you've gotten back, since _way_ before…"

She stopped herself. What was she doing? She couldn't talk to him like he was her friend. Except that he _was_ once, wasn't he? They'd been friends. She had to know if he thought so too.

"What?" he prompted.

For a moment, she didn't answer. Finally, avoiding his eyes, she confessed feebly, "I've… sort of… missed you, that's all. Nights in the drawing room and stuff."

She felt entirely vulnerable to him, like she'd admitted to much more than missing him, like he'd see it, the way that Hermione and Charlie had.

She was scared of his response, but he only uttered, "Oh."

God, what a horrible thing to say at a time like this.

They were just standing there, not looking at each other. She'd shoved her thumbnail into her mouth, trying to think how to get out of this awkward situation that she'd created with her own foolishness.

Finally, Harry took a huge step away from her. And that was her answer. She might cry. Again.

"Forget I said that," was all she could choke out against her disgrace.

"I don't _want_ to forget it."

Puzzled, her eyes went to his. _Please say more_.

And he did, starting slowly, "I've missed you too."

Everything inside of her tensed joyfully, hoping that he'd continue.

"I just thought that we were keeping to ourselves because you didn't want Malfoy to know."

Oh, she'd been so stupid! She'd let him believe that keeping Draco in the dark was more important than spending time with him.

"We are. I'm just an idiot."

Harry huffed. "Why do you do that?"

Her mouth fell open. "I…"

She had no excuse. She hated herself, she supposed, and couldn't keep it inside. She was especially hating herself at the moment, for opening up to him, and because he'd thought she'd been pushing him away. All this time…

"No, I'd really like an answer."

Luci sucked in a breath and told him the truth. "I guess I just… don't like myself very much sometimes."

He shook his head. "That's mental."

"_I'm_ mental," she nearly laughed from the irony. "Unfortunate character flaw."

Harry was frowning disapprovingly at her.

"You know, I don't like myself half the time either," he said, "but it seems like you're trying to make sure that no one else likes you either."

It was kind of an insensitive thing to say.

"You have me all figured out then?" she smirked.

"No! That's the problem!"

She cocked her head to one side. Did he _want_ to figure her out?

"What do you want to know? Seriously. I'll answer anything that's mine to answer."

He thought for a moment and then, "Are you Muggleborn?"

It was out of the blue, but Luci nodded, "Half-Blood. My mother's a Muggle. But Draco can _never_ know that, for obvious reasons."

Then her homesickness hit again and she whined, "God, I miss my mother…"

"And you said your dad is dead?"

Luci bit her tongue to keep from spewing something awful. She couldn't bear even thinking about him.

"I said, 'Something _like_ that.' He's dead to me."

Harry's brow furrowed. "Did he do something…?"

"I don't wanna talk about him," she spouted.

"You said you'd answer anything I asked."

She flared her nostrils and said brusquely, "Yeah, well, I lied."

To her surprise, Harry ignored that comment and instead, coaxed softly, "Tell me about your dad."

It was sweet, but she couldn't.

She simply stated coldly, "He's a bastard."

Harry blinked, his eyes searching hers. "What could he have _possibly_ done…?"

Why was he pushing this?

"He left, that's what!" she fumed. "The end."

"Okay."

"Thank you," Luci sniffed, relieved and turning her focus to her shoes.

They still looked new, since she rarely went outdoors. They were blurry through the tears, but they still looked new.

Harry didn't say anything more. They were just standing there, in the silence, as she fought her emotions.

Then she looked up at him, and she felt all of that love surging inside of her. She couldn't be near him any longer.

"Someday, Harry, I will tell you everything, much more than you ever wanted to know, but that day is not today."

She Disapparated before he could respond.

It was raining on the street, near the phone booth. She shut herself inside, shaking the water from her long, silver tresses. But she didn't bother drying her face, as it was more tears than rain, anyway.


	29. Chapter TwentyNine: On the Lam

**Chapter Twenty-Nine – On the Lam (corresponds with POTP Chapter 19)**

It was late when Luci came back to the house, and she'd missed dinner. She'd wandered around the street for hours once the rain had stopped. Her life had become an absolute disaster. It had been this way for awhile, and she'd yet to do anything about it, and it just kept getting worse. She really needed to follow through on her promise to take Draco somewhere else. It would be best for both of them. He wouldn't keep getting his nose broken and she wouldn't keep getting her heart broken.

And to make things worse, Charlie was waiting for her in her room, sitting at her desk.

"Percy was here," he said straight away.

She allowed a tiny smile of satisfaction, but she didn't say anything.

"I wanted to thank you. You must have contacted him…?"

Luci took off her wet shoes, noticing that they no longer looked new at all, and proceeded to ignore him.

"He asked for you, but we couldn't find you. I think he may have wanted to propose."

She couldn't help it, and a giggle escaped her lips.

"See, I knew you could hear me," teased Charlie. "And poor Fleur can't figure out that thing you gave her."

When Luci still didn't respond, he went on, "Thank you for my Christmas present too. Both of them, if you count Percy. I feel bad that I didn't get you anything and then I…"

He sighed and got to his feet, concluding softly, "I'm really sorry about… doubting your feelings… for Harry."

She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and finally faced him.

"I don't wanna talk about this. I accept your apology, and that's all I needed."

"_I_ wanna talk about it," he persisted. "If it's not infatuation… what are you feeling? When did this happen? _How_ did this happen? Have you told him? Does he feel something? What about Ginny?"

She exclaimed and threw her hands up. "You're bombarding me, Charlie!"

"Sorry. It's just… kind of a big deal."

"No, it isn't!" she argued. "It's _my_ problem! It doesn't affect anyone else!"

Taking a long breath, she went on, more calmly, "He doesn't know, and I don't intend to tell him or to get in the way of his relationship with Ginny. So you don't have to worry. Their little fairytale is safe."

Charlie frowned, but she finished, "Just because it's absolutely obvious to you doesn't mean that anyone else has noticed. _He_ certainly hasn't. And I don't know why _you_ did anyway."

"The way you spoke to him this morning. Like you knew him well. Even… even defending him against your own brother."

"I didn't–" she protested.

But he interrupted, "You _did_. And I was just curious as to why. I wasn't sure that there were… _emotions_… until I asked you about it, and you screamed about him having babies with Ginny. Which is disgusting, by the way."

"Tell me about it," she grumbled. "So I snitched on myself, you're saying?"

He grinned. "'Fraid so."

Luci nodded in defeat.

"Do you…" Charlie cleared his throat. "Is it… _love_?"

Meeting his gaze, blushing, she owned up, "Unfortunately," and then added hastily, "But I do know him well, you know. We spent a lot of time together... before. I'm not, like, pining away for the unattainable celebrity, despite what you think."

Sighing, he apologized, "I didn't mean it that way."

"Sure, you did, and it's okay. You don't know what's been going on."

"So tell me."

And she did. She told him everything.

* * *

She was a genius!

Since the pitch had been pretty much unoccupied, except for Draco going up to fly every once in awhile by himself, Luci had decided that perhaps Charlie would like to play.

At the moment, he was flying about, turning somersaults in the air and laughing.

"I don't know if I like this idea," groused Draco, next to her.

"He's someone to play with, and he doesn't hate your guts," Luci pointed out. "I see no disadvantages."

"With just the two of us, it's like playing _catch_," her brother complained.

"Beats the heck out of solitaire," she encouraged, handing him a broom and shooing him away.

He took to the air, and she saw Charlie stop to talk to him, probably to discuss their roles in the game.

Luci sat down on the empty bench and took out a piece of parchment. She was going to write thank you letters to all of her friends for the Christmas gifts.

But her plan was foiled when Hermione wandered in and plopped down next to her.

"Thought I heard people in here," the brunette commented, almost cheerfully.

Luci nodded at her, but wasn't really in the mood to chat.

"I've been going over Divination," she went on. "I thought perhaps we could practice. It's not of any use, of course, but I should like to be able to complete that section of my N.E.W.T.s, you know, to accumulate as many points as possible."

There was still no response from Luci, who was scribbling a paragraph to Josh.

Hermione sighed. "I just thought you might be better at it than I am. But I can see you're not interested."

She got up to leave, but Luci, after a roll of her eyes, called, "Wait."

The brunette turned back.

Luci took a sharp breath and allowed, "I'll help you. Sorry about the bad mood."

Hermione shrugged. "It can't be pleasant. Your… situation."

"You've been really generous to me. About that," Luci said gratefully.

Taking a seat again, Hermione replied, "I like you and everything, but the generosity is for Ginny and Harry's sakes."

"Right," nodded Luci curtly.

"Though I suppose all of that is out of my hands now," she continued, taking out a thick, purple book that read, _Divination: You Can Fake It!_ on the cover.

"What do you mean?" Luci asked, probing.

Hermione shook her head. "Ginny seems to have given up on him."

"Given up on him? What on earth for? I thought they were dating again?"

Luci was showing far too much interest, and she felt the heat crawling up her neck.

"I just meant… um. That seems… strange. That she'd… give up. Premature, you know?"

Hermione gave her a sober expression. "I don't think that we should discuss it. But, no, they are not dating again, much to my chagrin."

"Oh," said Luci simply, trying not to jump up and down for joy.

But what did it matter if he wasn't dating Ginny? He would be dating her again eventually. And even if he didn't, Luci would never have a chance with him. She didn't really want one anyway, because she knew that he deserved better.

After a moment, with a disapproving frown, Hermione asked, "You two spent a lot of time together while we were gone, didn't you?"

"Who? Me and Harry?" Luci questioned, an eyebrow raised.

She nodded, and her short curls bounced.

Luci bit her lip. "What makes you think that?"

"You know each other much better than you let on."

It was true; nothing got past Hermione.

Unable to find a suitable response, Luci lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.

Next to her, Hermione began thumbing through the Divination book, appearing to be showing some mercy.

* * *

On New Year's Day, an urgent meeting of the Order was called before lunch. Luci and Charlie were the last two into the kitchen, hastily taking seats at the table. Molly glared witheringly at them.

The room was full, and to Luci's surprise, Minerva was even standing towards the back.

Arthur was at the head of the table, holding a newspaper.

He cleared his throat and began, "This was the first thing that I saw when I arrived at the Ministry this morning."

He held up the document, and Luci saw the bold headline: "_DEATH EATERS ESCAPE AZKABAN FOR SECOND TIME!_"

She swallowed hard, a fist of dread forming in her stomach.

"Luci," Arthur addressed her, and she looked up at him, almost knowing what he was about to say. "I think, perhaps, you should fetch Draco."

Her heart began to pound. That meant that it truly was what she'd feared. Their father had escaped from Azkaban. All sorts of horrors began to tumble over themselves in her mind.

Luci could only nod at Arthur and dash from the room.

Upstairs, her brother answered the door, and upon seeing her face, questioned, "What is it, Luce?"

She could barely speak from the nausea, but she managed, "News. Come down to the kitchen."

"What kind of news?" he frowned.

But she was walking away now, back down the stairs, and he followed, prodding, "Luci? What news?"

When they reached the Order, Draco addressed them instead. "_What_ news?"

Everyone was gathered around the table, reading the article, but Remus held up the front page, so that Draco could see the caption.

"I'm afraid that your father was among them," explained Kingsley.

Luci watched her brother's face as it contorted from its confusion, into shock, and then glee.

He was beaming, and it caused her to begin to shake. Everything was about to change.

Draco was fleeing from the room almost as quickly as they'd come, and Luci could do nothing but pursue.

"You can't tell your mother yet," she pleaded with him, as they traveled back up the landings.

"Why not? She deserves to know. This is the best news we've had all year!"

"She'll do something rash!" Luci tried to explain.

"So what?" he threw over his shoulder, but then he turned to her. "Hey, this is great for you. You won't have to babysit us anymore. The Death Eaters are free, and my father will take care of everything."

She could only stare at him, her eyes prickling. He was excited to get rid of her, and back to his corrupt family. It was great news for him, maybe, but it was the worst news imaginable for her.

And then, it was the last thing that they needed, but she looked up to see Harry, Ron, and Hermione coming towards them.

Harry immediately started in on Draco, asking, "Why do _you_ look so happy?"

"My father's escaped from Azkaban," her brother answered, looking more arrogant than she'd ever seen him.

She was barely holding it together.

A small, surprised sound came out of Hermione, Ron was gaping, and Harry's eyes had widened in alarm.

Draco was sneering. "That's right, Potter; you _should_ be scared!"

"No one's scared of your dad, Malfoy," spit Harry coldly. "He's just a big bully."

Pulling himself up to his full height, much taller than everyone else, Draco declared proudly, "My father is a greater wizard than you'll ever be!"

Harry released a mocking noise. "Oh, yeah? Is that why he ran around claiming he'd been under the Imperius Curse when I defeated his old mate, Voldemort, the first time? Sounds like a coward to me."

Her brother made a menacing jolt towards Harry, and Luci immediately snagged the back of his shirt, biting, "Enough!"

With a smirk, Harry directed at Draco, "Lucky for you, she's always here to make sure you never have to actually defend yourself."

Luci couldn't take their fighting right now, so she demanded, "Stop it, Harry."

The boy she loved looked straight into her eyes, and his face twisted into a fierce glare.

"Fine. Protect him. But eventually, he'll have to face me on his own, and then we'll see who's a great wizard."

And then Harry stalked off moodily, his friends following behind him.

"Tosser," barked Draco, heading in the other direction, towards his room.

Luci let him go. She merely stood there, trying to steady herself, before losing it and racing to the bathroom, where she vomited in violent heaves.


	30. Chapter Thirty: Momentary LapseofEmotion

**Chapter Thirty – Momentary Lapse of Emotion (corresponds with POTP Chapter 19 & 20)**

Her mind was reeling with the possibilities of what could happen next. She'd been lying in fetal position on her bed for hours, trying to come up with a plan. How could she protect Draco from their father? The threat of Voldemort was somehow less intimidating than that of Lucius Malfoy. What if he came looking for them? What was Narcissa going to do? There was no doubt that she was going to do _something_.

Luci had gone downstairs to borrow the newspaper, which was now sitting on her desk, and she had read the entire article twice. Apparently, a lot of powerful Death Eaters were now running around London. All hell was going to break loose.

Someone knocked on her door.

It was probably Charlie. She didn't want to see him right now.

She nearly choked, trying to clear her throat, before yelling, "Go away!"

"It's Harry," came the response.

"Of course, it's Harry," she muttered to herself, but she couldn't help wanting to see him. Maybe it would make her feel better. Or maybe it would make her feel worse…

She rolled out of bed and padded over to her mirror. She looked atrocious. Was that vomit in her hair? Gross. She cleaned it with her wand before barely cracking the door and inquiring casually, "What's up?"

He looked legitimately concerned. "Are you all right?"

"Sure. Fine," Luci answered through a counterfeit smile.

"Can I come in?"

Come in? Her heart thudded. He'd never been in her room, even though she'd laid awake many a night, imagining… And _now_? When she looked like _this_?

But it was impossible to deny those beseeching green eyes, and she wanted him here, so she stepped aside and opened the door fully.

Harry took a good look around, and she felt self-conscious, standing there, and somehow, very annoyed that he wasn't saying anything.

Finally, she demanded edgily, "Is there something I can do for you?"

He looked bothered for a split second, before softening and asking, "Why do you have to be like that?"

"Sorry," she mumbled, shame-faced. Why _did_ she have to be like this?

Taking a step closer to her, causing a shiver to glide down her spine, Harry went on, "Are you sure you're all right? You've been up here all day. I thought you were mad at me."

Luci's eyebrows shot up. "Mad at _you_? No, of course not."

Why would he think that? Had he really just come to see if she was cross with him?

Then she remembered their encounter on the landing, and how rude she'd been, and apologized, "I shouldn't have snapped at you earlier. I'm just…" She sighed. "It's a bad day and I'm just having a bit of a conniption, that's all."

"Why are you so upset?" he queried cautiously.

What lie should she tell now? She couldn't tell him that her Death Eater father was on the lam and she was terrified of losing her brother. So she fibbed, "It's nothing. I'm just… homesick and tired of this place…"

Harry looked wounded, and just in case it was from her comment, she added hastily, "This _place_, not you or anyone else."

His expression relaxed and something wavered inside of her.

She caught herself and cemented her supposed cause for unhappiness with, "Poor Draco. At least I've been able to go to your family's house and to Hogwarts. Imagine how it must be for him and his mother."

"They both deserve to be in Azkaban," spat Harry harshly, "so they should count themselves lucky."

Luci couldn't help but be amused, despite it all. He was full of such angst. It was kind of endearing.

"So bitter," she teased him.

He frowned, as if this was a terrible insult, and started to object.

"I know, I know," she stopped him. "You have every right to be bitter. I'm immensely bitter over some things too, obviously, so I don't hold it against you."

Taking a deep breath, he deflected, "Did you see the paper? One of our professors was a Death Eater, _again_!"

As much as she'd read it, she somehow didn't remember that bit at all. So she walked over to retrieve the article from her desk, remarking, "Oh, yeah?"

"I knew someone had told the Death Eaters that I was at Hogwarts," said Harry. "It was one of the new professors, a woman called Todge."

Luci merely commented, "Hmm," as she tried to spread out the pages with one hand and ended up dropping the whole thing onto the floor.

But Harry, always the gentleman, immediately stooped to get it.

And Dumbledore's watch tumbled from his pocket, landing open on the floor and declaring, "_It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities._"

He had snagged it up as quickly as it had fallen and tucked it away, before shoving the newspaper back in her direction.

She accepted it from him, and she wanted to stop smiling, but she couldn't. She was so damn proud of that watch, and he carried it with him! It was so gratifying.

"It's just a pocket watch," he murmured.

"Okay," agreed Luci, but he could see her joy, and his mouth fell open.

"You didn't…?"

She made a tentative face.

"_Did_ you?" he went on, staggered.

She _had_ to tell him! She deserved to get a little appreciation.

"His portrait wanted me to give it to you," she admitted, and Harry simply stared at her, so she went on, "But it was my idea to engrave it and enclose his voice in it. It was his, you know. He'd had it for ages. Not much use in death, of course."

He was still speechless, but he stepped forward, touching her arm, as if he would hug her.

Luci's first instinct was to launch herself into his embrace, but instead, she stepped away in terror, her heart skipping in her chest. She couldn't trust herself to be close to him without losing her cool.

He was looking questioningly at her, and she covered, "Sorry, I'm not much of a hugger."

"It's all right," he grinned. "Thank you. This is… brilliant."

She knew that she shouldn't have told him she'd been involved, but she was so excited by his appreciation.

"You like it?" she asked eagerly.

"Very much," nodded Harry. "It's the best thing I've gotten, next to the Invisibility Cloak. Why didn't you say it was from you? I've actually been a little scared of it, not knowing who sent it."

"I shouldn't have told you now, but I'm losing my resolve."

It had just slipped out, and she blushed, continuing, "Anyway, it's inappropriate for me to give you a gift."

"Why?" he frowned.

She sucked in a breath to slow her rushing blood. "You know why, so let's just keep this to ourselves, shall we?"

"What do you mean – your resolve?" he wanted to know.

And she was weak, and she let down her guard in a momentary lapse of emotion, revealing, "It gets harder and harder not to completely spill my soul to you."

Harry looked almost as thunderstruck as Luci felt.

"Then why don't you?" he encouraged, after a moment.

Did it mean that he'd be interested to know? What on earth was going on here…?

She countered slowly, "Because I still have _some_ self-control."

_But not much. And it's wavering._

"Oh," was all he said, and she studied his face, wanting to beat something more out of him.

Finally, he carried on, "We need your advice."

So _this_ was why he'd come. Typical.

Tilting her head to one side, Luci inquired, "We?"

"Me and Ron and Hermione," he clarified.

_Of course_, she thought, just happy that Ginny's name hadn't been thrown in.

"Okay?"

"We found another Horcrux."

She went stiff with attention, knowing that she needed every detail. Snape had yet to send that Cambias person, but she imagined that it wouldn't be long, and to have more to tell him…

"We knew what we were looking for," Harry was saying, "and Hermione had a hunch, so we ended up at Hepzibah Smith's old house, and the cup – Hufflepuff's cup; Hepzibah was a relative – the cup was there, but it seemed to be protected by Dementors, because we were immediately attacked by one. I can't touch them, obviously, so Hermione had it – the cup – and she was using it to shield herself from the Dementor, and it ended up feeding on the Horcrux instead. So, in the end, Hermione is stumped on how the Dementor could have removed the soul from the cup."

Luci had been listening intently, captivated, but when he stopped, she took a thoughtful breath. It was quite a story, but it didn't surprise her at all. The three of them were remarkably brave, and a little too audacious, if you asked her. But they were doing what they must. And she admired that, because she, clearly, was not.

She announced, "You're all lunatics! But it has to be done, I guess."

He bobbed his head, his eyes still questioning.

"I don't know…" she answered slowly. "I mean, perhaps a _piece_ of a soul is as capable of fear as the soul in its entirety. Maybe it fears the end of its existence as much as we do."

"Possibly," Harry said thoughtfully. "But Hermione's concern is that the piece of soul isn't destroyed – now it's just stuck in that Dementor."

"No, when a Dementor steals your soul, it's gone forever," opposed Luci, thinking the idea was asinine. "They don't carry it around with them. Imagine the suitcase they'd need for that!"

What a silly thing to say!

She paused briefly before continuing, "But like I said, I don't know much about the _splitting_ of the soul. I'd have to research it too. I could help, if you'd like."

He astonished her by saying, "Ron and Hermione know that I've told you everything, so you could join us."

If Ron and Hermione knew _that_, what other things did the three of them share…?

"Why don't you check with them first and get back to me?" suggested Luci.

"All right," he nodded. "The watch, I don't know how to thank you."

Meeting his gaze, she felt this odd current of mutual appreciation flow between them.

"The look in your eyes was thanks enough," she grinned at him. "I'm just glad you like it."

His smile was intoxicating, and he replied, "See you tomorrow?"

"Yep," she managed. "Night."

She'd shut him out too quickly, she figured, but he got to her. He made her feel like she couldn't behave properly. And she was already fragile, due to her father's escape. She'd promised to help him, but in reality, she couldn't see how, as she had far bigger problems to tackle.

* * *

There was a soft knock on her door. It was just past midnight, and Luci had been staring at her ceiling, deciding for the umpteenth time that it needed to be painted. Focusing on this trivial fact was helping her to avoid thinking about her father.

She threw her short legs over the side of the bed and shuffled to the door. She was not pleased to see Narcissa's face.

"Now that my husband is free, Draco and I will no longer need your assistance," said the woman hatefully as she strolled into the room.

Luci closed the door again. It was what she'd been most afraid would happen. Her pulse was racing.

"I'm sorry," she began slowly, trying to hide her panic, "but I think that means that you need me _more_."

"Nonsense. Lucius is entirely capable of protecting us. Draco and I are leaving. I thought I'd do you the courtesy of informing you."

Luci's mouth fell open. "I… you can't just leave without me! After all of it… we need to stick with the original plan. We need to stay with the Order and away from the Death Eaters. Whether my– _your_ _husband_ is out or not, the Dark Lord is still going to be very angry."

"That is no longer your concern."

Narcissa was completely composed, and Luci felt like she was falling to pieces.

"But… Draco… he doesn't want to leave, does he?" she begged, trying not to yelp from the pain of the thought.

"Of course, he does. He is anxious to see his father."

Then a joyful glint appeared in Narcissa's eye, and she mocked, "You didn't think that he cared anything for you, did you?"

Luci went rigid. "Whether he knows it or not, I'm his sister, and we do have some kind of relationship."

Narcissa became outraged at this claim.

"I don't care where you think you come from! I don't believe a word of it anyway. I've had no confirmation from my husband, and Dumbledore was a fool to his dying day!"

This was coming out of nowhere.

Luci squared her shoulders and threw back, "Believe what you want! There's no denying it."

"I'm starting to think that you are not loyal to the Dark Lord, after all," snarled Narcissa.

"My loyalty to Voldemort is none of your business," Luci retorted.

Narcissa hissed at the name, as if she'd been scratched.

"Oh, don't be a coward!"

"It's called respect, you silly girl," Narcissa spat.

She paused, but then continued, "You've spent far too much time with Draco and it ends right now. I don't want my son associating with a Mudblood any longer."

"Watch it," Luci warned in her coldest tone, hoping that all of this was just another empty threat.

"I will say what I please," Narcissa growled. "I have no obligation to speak kindly to you."

"If you care at all about Draco, and I know you do, you'll carry on as we planned," Luci replied, sternly, covering her anxiety.

"IF I care? This has all been for Draco! Putting up with you, being a prisoner in this disdainful place, associating with these blood traitors! ALL for Draco!"

"Then why don't you fucking listen to me? Everything I'm doing is for Draco too! I care about him as much as you do!"

"You will never have any relationship with Draco! He is my son and I will protect him!"

Luci could barely contain her fury.

"He's my brother and _I _can protect him too!"

The woman huffed in irritation.

But then a stunned voice cried out, "Your _what_?"

Luci's bedroom door flew open, slamming against the wall behind it. It was so loud that she jumped.

And there, in the doorway, stood her brother and the boy that she loved, both clad in their pajamas, both with their eyes wide and full of astonishment. And she, too, was frozen with shock.


	31. Chapter ThirtyOne: The Worst Thing

**Chapter Thirty-One: The Worst Thing Imaginable (corresponds with POTP Chapter 20)**

"Mother, what in the bloody hell is going on?" Draco yapped against the sudden silence.

But his eyes were on Luci. She held his stare, though his face was blurry, as her eyes had filled with tears from the striking pain. It felt like a horrible nightmare.

"Draco…" she started, incapable of keeping her voice from shaking.

"Is this some kind of _joke_?" he cut in, his eyes leaving hers and going to those of his mother. The woman made no reply.

"It isn't a joke," Luci croaked against her emotions.

But he might not have heard her. He was still looking frantically at his silent mother.

"I can explain…" Luci tried again.

She wanted to run to him, hold him still, make him understand…

Then Narcissa spat abruptly, "You'll do no such thing. I will take care of this."

She went straight for Draco, threw an arm around him, and led him from the room, passing Harry in the doorway.

It was all too much. Draco and Harry, hearing this at the same time. And those marvelous green eyes staring pleadingly, disbelievingly… She couldn't breathe. Her heart was beating so fast, it hurt. And he was just simply waiting. What did he expect her to say? What on earth could she _possibly_ say…?

She chose to whimper, "Harry… I'm sorry. I… All this time, I wanted so badly to tell you…"

He didn't respond, but he stepped backwards, and she thought he looked disgusted with her.

She instinctively went toward him, not able to bare him leaving like this. She'd thought that her father's escape had been the worst thing imaginable, but she'd been wrong. She'd always known that it was this. She just didn't think that it would ever happen. How could this _happen_…?

"Harry, please…"

"So it's true?" he strangled out.

And now, Luci could only nod. She didn't know what to say to him. She couldn't read his expression, and she was terrified that he'd turn and flee, without giving her a chance to explain. Though she wasn't sure if she _could_ explain, why she'd been lying to him for months, why he should still trust her, after all of it…

"But… _how_?" his voice came again.

The moonlight was dancing in his indignant eyes, and she couldn't stand to face him any longer, so she inhaled slowly and faced her window instead.

Next door, Draco was screaming at Narcissa. Luci winced at the pain in his raised voice.

But she had to focus on Harry. The one who was in the room with her now. The one that she wanted to be in rooms with forever…

The tears had fallen from her eyes. She had been unable to prevent it. Her cheeks were hot, and she merely stood there, gazing out of the window, into nothingness.

Finally, when she was sure that he had left her, Harry's voice broke the silence.

"So you're a Death Eater?"

She pivoted instantly.

"Oh, god, Harry, no!"

He had moved to the end of her bed, and he looked as though he couldn't possibly believe her denial.

So she walked over to him and pulled up the sleeve of her sweater. He studied her left forearm, which showed no marks whatsoever, yet he still glanced up in doubt.

Luci released an exasperated noise and handed him her wand. Obviously, he needed to check for himself.

"_Aparecium_," he waved at her arm.

Nothing happened, of course, and she gave him a brief and totally unwarranted glare. Then she released her sleeve, snatched her wand and put it back in her pocket, and returned to the window. It was a safe distance. She couldn't inhale his scent, or feel the heat radiating from him, or be as affected by him. Not from here.

"Then I… I don't understand," he muttered.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," was her answer.

But she knew that she owed him more. Much more. She owed him the truth. And for the first time, she was going to give it to him, because the damage was already irreparable.

So she started, "Before you left for the orphanage, you asked me why I was here…"

Harry nodded at her.

"And I told you that it was to report back to the Ministry."

He nodded once more.

This was it. She was going to tell him everything. And he was going to hate her. And she was petrified. Her head was racked with pain.

But she plowed on, "And that was partly the truth… but I'm here because Professor Dumbledore asked me to come."

"Dumbledore?" gasped the beautiful boy on the bed. "His _portrait_ asked you to come?"

"Of course not," she answered.

"But Dumbledore's dead!"

Luci couldn't help but smile, however small an expression.

"Is he?"

Harry raised his eyebrows.

"He contacted me before his death. He told me that my family needed me."

"Your _family_?"

She halted briefly, remorseful, but then continued, "When I started to show signs of magic, my mother was terrified. She hadn't known that she'd been involved with a wizard all of those years ago. See… Lucius spent a few months abroad and took up with my mother. When he found out that she was pregnant, he ran off, and she never saw him again. I imagine it was pretty important to him that no one ever know that he'd had a relationship with a Muggle. He married Narcissa almost immediately when he got back here."

The story hadn't been told in a very long time. She still hated hearing it, even from her own lips.

Harry's face was distorted in surprise.

"You can ask me anything you want, Harry," she prompted. "I'm obviously done with hiding."

"It just explains… so many things…" He paused. "Malfoy's father must have known that it would come back to haunt him eventually."

With a shake of her head, she explained, "He was very young, and I don't think that he was the same person then as he is now. I think he was just scared. His pure bloodline was always important to him, even then."

She realized that she was pacing. The nervous energy inside of her was bursting to get out. She really needed to punch the wall… Instead, she dug her fingernails into her palms.

Harry hadn't said anything more, so Luci took in a deep breath to stop herself drawing blood, and carried on.

"So my mother immediately took me to doctors and specialists, who knew nothing, of course. Finally, one day, one of them referred her to a school in Europe for children with similar 'disorders,' he called them. That's when she got in touch with Professor Dumbledore. I assume he told her that Lucius had gotten married and had a son. I don't really know the details at that point - I was young - but the two of them managed to put the pieces together. I went on with my life. I went to school and became an Auror. It was always in the back of my head that I had a brother and a father, but I… I never thought I'd meet either of them."

It was information she never dreamed she'd be revealing, especially to this boy, who she loved so deeply, and who would now despise her, because of what she was. Just like the last one…

Then, suddenly, she needed to be close to him again. If only to seize him and keep him from running out on her like Mark had. She moved in his direction and sat herself beside him on the end of her bed. How many times had she wanted to be upon this bed with him? But not like this.

"So why would Dumbledore ask you to come here after all of that time?" he asked witheringly.

"It was the best way to protect my brother from Voldemort, after all the trouble he'd gotten himself into."

It wasn't the answer that he had wanted, and she knew it, but she'd hoped that she wouldn't have to be the one to tell him the truth about how Dumbledore had died.

"But how would Dumbledore know that Malfoy would need your protection? None of it had happened yet."

_Shit_, she thought. She _was_ going to have to be the one. Just more knowledge that she'd kept from him, just another reason to make him hate her. Well, at this point, she figured, it was all over. Now she only had to convey the story and leave all of this behind. She realized that she was chewing on her damn thumbnail again. She took it out of her mouth and sighed, bringing her eyes to his. His dazzling, confused eyes.

"Dumbledore knew that he was going to die, Harry."

He frowned. "What are you talking about?"

She took his hand. It was the one with the terrible scar. She ran her thumb over it. The contact made her entire body tingle. But she had to focus, make it as painless as possible.

She went on gently, "It had to happen."

Harry retrieved his hand and stood up quickly. The bottom of the bed scraped against the floor. Fear flooded Luci.

"He… _planned_ it?" came his voice, soft but blazing.

"Not exactly," she said, standing, as well, and coming towards him again. "Dumbledore knew that Voldemort had sent my brother to kill him. He knew that Draco would try. And he had to protect him. He had to make sure that Draco didn't have blood on his hands."

"What about _me_?" cried Harry, in a tone of helplessness, and Luci's heart shattered in her chest. "What about protecting _me_?"

He was crying now, and he turned his face from her, ashamed. But she had never loved him more. And she had never been so devastated in her entire life.

She touched his arm, gingerly, trying to get him to face her again. After a moment, he turned. The green, always so brilliant, was practically glowing with the effects of his tears.

Luci could barely speak, and she was crying again now too. His pain was her pain, and it was stupid, because she knew that he didn't feel the same, but it changed nothing.

She said delicately, "He knew that you had a journey to travel on your own. He couldn't help you anymore. And he knew that you were ready."

"But I'm not ready!" Harry shrieked.

"Of course, you are!" she countered, because she truly believed that he was. "Look how far you've come, on your _own_!"

He averted his eyes and didn't speak for several seconds. She watched the side of his face, the moonlight illuminating his wet cheeks. She wanted, _needed_ so badly to tell him, _had_ to tell him…

"God, I–"

But this was when Harry saw fit to speak. She almost exhaled in relief.

"Why didn't anyone stop him?" he shot at her. "Why did he have to die?"

Luci had _tried_ to stop him. It had been a futile attempt. But she didn't understand why Dumbledore had chosen to die either. Even with his explanations, she was certain that there would have been a better way.

As she ruminated over this, she noticed that Harry looked slightly dizzy. She moved towards him, and just as his legs were about to give way, she wrapped her arms around him and nearly pushed him the few feet back onto the bed. She sucked in oxygen and sat down beside him again.

He looked at her. He was so miserable.

She smiled faintly, an attempt to soften the blow. "He had his reasons. I don't know what they were."

Harry didn't say anything else for a long while. She ran her fingers along his arm, hoping to comfort him. But it was also slightly selfish, as it gave her a fantastic sensation in her stomach, and she felt like touching him would keep him near.

Eventually, he inquired, "So that's who you were talking to in your fireplace? Malfoy's dad? I mean… _your_ dad."

She vacillated. She knew that she should lie again, but she couldn't stand to.

"No, that wasn't who I was talking to."

"It wasn't?"

He gave her a wary glance.

Luci couldn't help but release a bitter chuckle.

"Do you really think my father would have anything to do with me? I'm his greatest shame. He doesn't even know I'm here… Well, he might know now that he's out."

He narrowed his eyes. "Then, who?"

She looked away, knowing that he would despise the answer.

"I thought you said you were done with hiding?" he spat at her.

She tucked in her bottom lip. He was already growing angry. This would only fuel the flames.

"Dumbledore again? Someone was in the fire in his office."

She nodded, conquered by his questions. "That was me, yes, but… most times… I was talking to Severus."

"Snape?" he cried in tones of outrage, pulling away from her.

Luci gave him another nod and braced herself for his temper.

"The _coward_ who killed Dumbledore?"

The statement offended her, though she couldn't say why, and his voice was so loud that she knew the entire house could hear them.

She answered, "Severus didn't _want_ to do it, Harry. He did it for Draco and he did it because Dumbledore asked him to. I think it's killing him… And don't call him a coward."

"_What_?" he screamed at her.

The outburst almost physically moved her, and she launched herself away from him.

He was glowering. "I can't believe you could defend Snape!"

She knew that Harry hated Severus. But she also knew that this hatred was misplaced. Severus was far from a coward, and for all he'd done for her, she owed it to him to make a defense.

"Look, I know you and he don't like each other, and I agree that he's not a warm person, but he only did what was asked of him… and I have to be grateful that he saved my brother. And he's been… since I've gotten here… I've been able to depend on him."

"Snape has you all fooled! He's a _murderer_."

"Murdering someone doesn't make you a bad person."

"Sorry?" he hissed in disbelief.

"You're going to murder Voldemort, aren't you?"

"That's different! _I'm_ not evil! _Snape_ _is_ evil!"

Then she was angry too.

"What is _wrong_ with you, Harry? Is it impossible for you to see anything from any other viewpoint than your own?"

His face contorted into first, surprise, and then, hurt.

She sighed, distressed to be the cause of that hurt. "There are just aspects of this that you don't understand."

"Oh, and _you_ do?" he snarled.

Luci tried to remain stoic against his rage.

But then came, "Don't you think you've lied to me enough?"

She blinked. Had he stabbed her in the heart? Her chest was throbbing…

When she looked at him for clarification, he was contrite.

"I… I didn't mean that… I just…"

Harry stopped and put his palm against his forehead. His eyes were closed, and he sat that way for a few minutes. She watched him, hating what he'd just said to her, hating herself, but loving him more than she could bear, and then hating that too.

Finally, he sliced through her thoughts. "I need some time, Luci."

Then he stood.

"You and Malfoy and Snape… it's just… a lot."

She nodded, getting up from the bed too. And though she knew that the words would do no good, she pleaded, "Please don't hate me."

His brow furrowed. "I… I don't… hate you…"

His reply barely registered.

She went on fervently, "I need you to know that I'm still the same person. The same girl from the drawing room. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this in the beginning. My brother was my priority at that point and I didn't know that I'd meet you and…"

She halted abruptly. _And fall madly in love with you_, she thought, but she concluded, "Now that he knows, it could be a disaster."

And at that moment, the boy that she loved did something merciful.

He said gently, "You'd better go talk to him. It'll be better coming from you."

Luci wiped at her tears, though new ones were now fighting to be released. "I hope you're right."

Then she went to exit the room, knowing that this would be the last time that she would see Harry Potter. She turned, and even if they weren't the words that she needed to say, she added, "Thank you for hearing me out."

He gave her a tired little tilt of his head.

She stared at him for a long moment, trying to memorize his face, the way that his hair fell over his forehead, a little bit tucked beneath the right frame of his glasses, the way that his hands lay feebly at his sides in this horrible moment.

And though she said, "Good night, Harry," what she'd really meant was, "Good bye, Harry. I love you. I hope that you'll forgive me someday."

When he replied, "Good night, Luci," she let her name on his lips melt into her consciousness, so that she might be able to replay it in her head, when the cold future welcomed her.

Then she went into the adjoining room to face her brother and his hideous mother.

They were sitting in silence, waiting for her.

"I can't believe you're both still here," Luci said right away.

There was a long pause, and then Narcissa said unfeelingly, "Draco insisted on speaking with you."

"Good," breathed Luci. "Drake, I–"

"Shut up!" he cut across her, jolting to his feet. "You're a liar!"

She instinctively took a step backwards. She thought she might vomit again.

"Please, lis–"

"No! I just wanna know if it's true. My fa–"

Luci could tell that he was nearly choking on words, on fury.

"My… _father _knocked up a Muggle and you're the Mudblood result?"

Her brother's eyes were flaring with so many emotions that she could hardly separate them.

She nodded, wounded by his words, but trying to focus on his pain, and not her own.

He released a horrible, guttural shriek of agony.

Then he Disapparated.

Narcissa was right on his heels.

"No!" Luci screamed into dead air. Then a dry sob and, "_Please_, no."


	32. Chapter ThirtyTwo: The Search Party

**Chapter Thirty-Two – The Search Party**

Everyone in the house had heard every word, she knew it.

Luci did the only thing that she could think to do. She went to her room, closed the door, and hurled her fist against the wall, feeling the bones splinter.

Blinding pain shot through her, all the way up her arm, and blood splattered in her face. She crumbled to the floor and relished in the throbbing for as long as she possibly could. The physical ache was so much better than the emotional one.

Within a few minutes, she was fully mended, and the distinct heaviness returned to her mind, but now, she felt better able to focus.

She immediately went to her hearth, tossed Floo powder into it, and immersed her face.

"Severus?" she hissed against the mist.

Then she repeated his name, louder this time.

"It's the middle of the night, Miss Keegan," he scolded wearily, clambering towards her, out of the darkness.

"I know," she muttered. "The worst thing imaginable has happened."

He gave her a maddened grimace, though she could hardly see his features.

"Draco knows. So does Harry. I was talking to Narcissa and they overheard. I'm so sorry. But she took him. She took Draco. And I don't know where. I have to find him and explain and–"

"Calm down," he commanded.

She sniffled.

"This is very troubling," he grumbled. "After all of my warnings–"

"I know!" cried Luci. "I'm _sorry_! Blame that bitch, Narcissa. The question is, what _now_? _Please_, Severus!"

He was silent, apparently pondering.

"My father escaped," she added. "Did you know? They might be with him."

"I was informed, of course. The Death Eaters had been planning a break in to Azkaban for a long while. But Lucius Malfoy is here with us, putting Draco and Narcissa in a different location."

"Where?" she implored. "Where should I look?"

"The Manor, I should think. But if you were to come across them, I don't think it plausible that you would be able to convince them to return with you. Under the circumstances."

"No," she agreed forlornly.

"Therefore, I must accompany you," Severus informed her, sounding put out. "I will meet you in Wiltshire in no less than five minutes."

"Okay," nodded Luci, but he was already walking away.

She removed her head from the fireplace and began to clean herself up. She was a catastrophe, inside and out. She could hardly think straight from the whirlwind of emotions. All she knew was that her moment had finally arrived to protect her brother, and she had to focus on that, and not the fact that Draco hated her guts, or that she'd never see the boy she loved again.

Before she left, she flew up the stairs and knocked insistently on Charlie's door.

He answered gradually, his eyes at half mast.

"Luci? What's all the noise?"

"He _knows_!" she hissed urgently.

"Who? Who knows what?" he yawned.

"Draco. He knows. And Narcissa ran off with him. I'm going after them."

"It's the middle of the night," stated Charlie, with a concerned blink.

"Yes, I know that," said Luci briskly. "I just needed to tell you, and to ask you if you'd keep an eye out for him? If he shows up here again, you know. Try to keep him in one place, explain to him, maybe."

"I don't think he'll come back here, Luci. If he knows, I can't imagine he's too happy."

"He isn't," she sulked. "He took it worse than Harry."

"Harry?"

"Yeah. He knows too. It's this big fiasco. But listen, I have to go. Will you just… I dunno. I… I don't think I'll come back."

"What?" frowned Charlie.

"I have no reason to. We were here to keep Draco safe, and that's not the issue anymore."

"But! But you'll let me know where you are? I mean… do you want me to come with you?"

"Charlie…" she smiled softly. "No, of course not. I just felt like I couldn't leave without talking to you."

"You have to come back at some point," he insisted.

"Why?"

"Because you think _he_ might."

"You're right," sighed Luci, realizing her error. "Okay, I'll try to check back with you tomorrow night, if I haven't found him, god forbid. When everyone's asleep. I can't bear to face Harry again."

"All right," agreed Charlie sympathetically.

She nodded, and then made to leave as hurriedly as she'd come.

"Luci!"

"Hmm?" she turned back.

"Be careful, all right?" he said uneasily. "Let me know if you need anything?"

She flung herself at him, in a swift hug, hastened, "Thanks, Charlie!" and Disapparated.

* * *

Luci was waiting outside Malfoy Manor for almost a full two minutes, wringing her hands and observing the docile peacocks, before Severus arrived.

"You're late!" she reprimanded desperately.

He immediately took a long look down his nose at her and muttered, "Stupid girl. I knew that your emotions would be a problem."

"They're _not_ a problem!" she cried back. "_You_ allowed the Death Eaters to break out my father, and _that's_ why all of this happened! Everything was _fine_, until Narcissa heard and decided that I was of no longer of any use to her!"

Severus cocked his head to one side and merely stared at her, before responding, "Let us get started."

Huffing irritably, Luci followed him into the large mansion.

"Take the east wing," he instructed, "and I shall explore the west."

She went straight to work, trying to center her mind on the task and push out any other thoughts. It was nearly impossible, but she was managing for a good deal of the time.

She checked all of the servants' quarters, including her old room, and every single space that she could enter on the east wing. But she found nothing. Her thought was that they might be hiding in one of the many secret rooms and passages of the mansion. She had seen house elves coming out of peculiar locations, after all. So she spent awhile calling Draco's name, knowing that he would never respond, even if he were near. But she had to try.

It was to no avail. The placed was deserted. Even the house elves were nowhere to be found. But they wouldn't be able to leave here unless they were freed, and somehow Luci didn't see that as a possibility, so the fact remained that those creatures were somewhere. Somewhere in this house, hiding. With her brother, perhaps?

Severus was waiting in the drawing room, near the main hall, when Luci returned downstairs.

"There is no sign," he informed her. "I also took the liberty of searching in the space beneath this room."

"What space?" asked Luci.

"Never mind. We must move on."

"Where?"

Reaching out, he took her arm, and they went spiraling, only to land before a large, dark cottage, standing solitary in the middle of a wood.

Luci looked around. "Where are we?"

"The home of Narcissa's sister, Bellatrix. She is currently in the company of the Dark Lord, but it is possible that her family would come here, despite my forbidding it."

Severus busted through the front door without another word, and Luci followed, her wand illuminated and at ready.

The place was cluttered with trinkets, mostly metals like pewter, with an unusual amount of candlesticks propped everywhere. All of the tones were dark – blacks, browns, charcoals. Even the carpeting was a deep, royal purple. It was very impersonal, except for a picture frame that sat on the mantle, showcasing Narcissa and Draco. Seeing this caused Luci's heart to make a painful leap. Would she ever see her brother again?

She followed Severus out of the living area and deeper into the house, down a long, cold hallway. They peered into each of the rooms that extended off of the corridor – a drawing room, a library, a guest room, and finally, a larger bedroom at the end. This was the only room that they entered.

Inside, Severus went straight to the small closet, where he opened the door and kicked his foot against the back wall. It gave way, and he disappeared behind it.

Luci stood outside of the closet, waiting.

When he reappeared, a few minutes later, he handed her the heavy green cloak that she had given to Draco.

"They've been here," she breathed, heartbroken that he had abandoned her gift, though it was unlikely that he knew she'd been the one to give it.

"It would seem so," agreed Severus, providing more proof with a pair of gloves that Narcissa often wore.

"But they've gone?"

"Yes."

Through the window in the room, she could see the dawn approaching, spilling soft light over the dark emerald green that decorated the bedroom.

"What now?" she asked Severus wearily.

"To Diagon Alley."

"But… isn't there a warrant out for your arrest? Can you go running around in public, in the daylight, like that?"

"Miss Keegan," he growled, "do not worry yourself with details this small. I will not be recognized."

He then conjured a large hat and a traveling cloak, donning both, before catching her arm once again.

They appeared before a small building full of owls, all sorts of colors, each one more beautiful than the next. A sign above the door read _Eeylops Owl Emporium_.

"Follow me," commanded Severus.

And they began what would be a long morning of trudging up and down walkways, in and out of shops.

Luci had this horrible feeling that Draco and Narcissa might be moving around as much and as quickly as they were. They could be back at Bellatrix's place, at this point, or in a shop that Severus and Luci just came out of ten minutes ago. It was frustrating, though Severus didn't seem pained.

Around lunchtime, Severus insisted that he needed to check in with Voldemort, leaving Luci in a cafe, where she had currently been sitting for nearly an hour, nursing a bowl of soup that had grown cold. For a long while, she'd been watching the other patrons, most of them sitting outdoors beneath brightly colored umbrellas. She wondered how they could tolerate the January cold. She missed the warmth of Arizona, even at this time of year.

She was nearly going out of her mind waiting, but she'd promised Severus that she wouldn't wander off by herself. Which was ridiculous, because she was entirely capable. Hadn't Dumbledore said so himself? She felt like they couldn't afford to waste any time that could be spent looking for Draco, and sitting here was a _huge_ waste of time. He was in danger, after all. She had to find him. Soon.

According to the clock in the restaurant, it was almost 1:30. Luci sighed irritably and looked around. She practically flew out of her seat when she realized that someone was peering in through the window, staring at her curiously. It was a hollow-faced woman with long, black hair and cold, sunken eyes. Their gazes locked for a brief moment, and then the woman was gone.

Luci was left with an icy sensation of foreboding. Had someone recognized her? And if so, _how_? And why had she looked so very interested?

She was fidgeting in her seat, trying not to launch into a full-on panic attack, when Severus strolled in through the front door, wearing a smug expression.

Should she tell him about the woman who was just here? She decided against it. He'd make her go back to Grimmauld Place, when she desperately needed to find her brother. Hopelessness was wearing on her already.

Her only comfort came when Severus then seated himself across from her, stating, "The Dark Lord knows not of Draco's whereabouts. This is encouraging."

"You're sure?" questioned Luci.

"Certain."

"Okay. Then we should keep looking."

"Before we start for our next location, I would like to search Knockturn Alley," he said, getting to his feet.

She joined him.

"Do you think they might be there?"

"It is as likely as anywhere else."

"Fantastic."

Luci gritted her teeth and followed the dark figure out into the cold, through the streets, and down a narrow passageway. She began walking even closer to him when she realized that they were in an entirely different area of Diagon Alley. All of these shops were in shadows, and as she looked through the dusty windows, she could see that things weren't well-cared for.

A few unsavory characters were lurking about, and they would stare keenly as Luci passed. She felt a shiver go down her spine more than once.

They had walked quite a ways down when they came to a sign proclaiming _Borgin & Burkes_. Without delay, Severus pulled the door open and stepped inside. Luci could only follow.

"What are we doing?" she hissed.

He put up a hand to hush her, and she growled low.

"Stay here," he instructed before heading for the back of the room.

Wrapping her arms around her thin body, partly to fend off the cold and partly to comfort herself, Luci wandered around the front of the shop.

In the window, she saw a large book that appeared to be covered in fur. Along one wall hung a variety of creepy masks and what she thought might be whips. On a shelf nearby, there was an array of dark candles, claiming to stimulate everything from seduction to death.

What could Severus be looking for here? Something for Voldemort?

He reappeared a few minutes later, announced, "We are finished here," and made for the door.

Luci hurried to catch up. She wanted to ask him why they'd gone into that awful place, but there were too many sinister bystanders.

Instead, she asked, "Where next?"

"The summer home."

"The _what_?"

"The Malfoys keep a home along the coast," he explained, before reaching out and sending her reeling again.

They ended up standing before a mansion that was very similar to Malfoy Manor. Luci could taste salty air on her tongue, a sign indicative of the nearby shore. Behind them sprawled a hedge-lined driveway, and a large iron fence loomed in the background.

"What did you need from that shop?" she asked Severus straight away.

"Cambias requested that I pick up some information on the Horcruxes you mentioned," he answered plainly.

"Who _is_ this Cambias person? And have you two figured anything out yet?"

Severus merely responded, "We have found, once again, that the Dark Lord never fails to impress."

Then, after a flick of his wand, he led her through the front door.

Inside, Luci discovered that this home was very similarly decorated, entirely reminiscent of the one in Wiltshire.

"Why have two identical houses?" she scoffed.

"Take the third and fourth floors, and I'll take the first two," he told her, without reply.

She huffed at him, but she did as he requested.

The place was so familiar that she felt like she was retracing her steps. There were servants' quarters on the top floor, a drawing room, and what appeared to be a hot house. This last one was exclusive only to the summer home. She couldn't help going inside and taking a look around.

This room hadn't been utilized in a long while. The ceiling, which gave view of the dusky sky above, was covered in cobwebs. There were a few dead plants, and some scattered gardening tools. The atmosphere was stale, but still humid from past use. She found herself thinking that her mother would love to have something like this, and she moaned aloud from the homesickness.

It was a very long time before she returned to the foyer of the house, and Severus was nowhere to be found. She imagined that he was still probing about, so she collapsed into a large, straight-backed chair.

Everything was bleak, at this point. She couldn't see a single ray of light. She closed her eyes on the tears that threatened to fall, and she suddenly felt so heavy that she could barely support her own weight. Slumping in the chair, her body went into a fitful doze.

"Miss Keegan!" came Severus's voice, and she shot from her seat.

"I'm awake!" she claimed.

"They are not here," he pronounced, "and you are in need of rest."

"I'm fine," insisted Luci, trying not to yawn. "I don't have time for rest."

"I will see to it that Draco is safe, if I come across him. Now, return to Headquarters and we will resume a search party when you are better able."

"I can't go back there!" she blurted.

He grimaced. "Why not, pray tell?"

"Everyone _knows_! I can't… I _won't_ deal with it!"

"Very well, no need for dramatics," he said in exasperation. "You can stay at the Leaky Cauldron for the night."

"Wha– _where_ is the Leaky Cauldron?"

"I will see you to it."

He extended his arm, and she took it, inquiring, "Severus?"

"Yes?"

"What if we _don't_ find him? I mean, before Vol– before the Dark Lord does?"

In lieu of an answer, he Apparated the pair of them to a dark alley.

"Good night, Miss Keegan," he said with finality, and then he left her there.

Luci looked up at the building before her. It was small and dilapidated, and she thought dejectedly that it could be a long night.

* * *

She had been sleeping sporadically for hours upon hours, but she didn't feel the least bit refreshed when she finally awoke fully. It was the middle of the night, and the clock in her tiny room at the Leaky Cauldron read 3:11AM.

Clambering out of bed, she figured that it was a good time to check back with Charlie. Besides, she needed a few of her possessions. It would be disastrous if her journal were to be discovered in that desk.

Once she was dressed, Luci Apparated into her old room at Grimmauld Place.

Everything was where she had left it, except that the door was standing ajar. She couldn't remember whether or not she'd closed it... She walked over to do just that, but when it creaked loudly, she stepped away. She didn't want to wake anyone.

She hurried to the desk, igniting a lamp, and then reaching immediately for the Professor's Pass. It could always come in handy. Next, she went for her journal in the top drawer. Where was her silver quill? There was no time to look for it. She put both items to the side and seized her address book.

"Welcome back."

Luci's heart literally stopped, so forcefully that her chest went tight with pain. She realized that she'd dropped the book onto the floor. She turned, knowing upon whom her eyes would fall.


	33. Chapter ThirtyThree: Trip On Love

**Chapter Thirty-Three – Trip On Love (corresponds with POTP Chapter 22)**

Adrenaline shot through Luci's veins.

Harry's face betrayed so much wrath that she nearly took a step back in surprise. Her first instinct was to Disapparate from the spot. She didn't have to put herself through this. But she couldn't do it to him. He deserved better.

"Harry…"

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" he roared feverishly.

This time, she did lurch backwards, knocking into her desk. She didn't know why. She should have expected it. Harry had every right to hate her. But it still stunned her, rocked her, tore her apart.

She tried to explain, "I… Draco disappeared… I had to go after him! He's not safe!"

"And you couldn't bother telling me?" he spewed.

It sounded almost as if he'd been worried about her. But that was impossible. He hated her. He _had_ to. She would.

"I thought you pretty much never wanted to see me again, so I just… left…" she choked.

"That's mental, Luci, I…" He halted briefly, but then went on, "If you thought that, why did you come back?"

She could tell him that she had meant to retrieve a few items, talk to Charlie, and disappear again, without a word to him, but she had a feeling that it would enrage him even more so. So she piled on yet another lie.

"Because I couldn't find him. I need help."

Harry scoffed at her. "No one here cares about him, so you'll have to go somewhere else for your help."

She released an involuntary noise that gave away her hurt. She hadn't expected him to be so cold. Once again, she scolded herself. She deserved anything that he threw at her, no matter the temperature.

"So you _do_ hate me," said Luci diffidently.

She was going to add that she didn't blame him, but he gave a tired sigh and put his hand to his head. This lovely motion filled her with such longing that she couldn't speak. She was experiencing too much, and she wanted to panic. What she'd felt for Mark had been explosive, but it paled in comparison to her emotions towards Harry. It scared the shit out of her.

"You know that's not true," he was saying in vexation.

But she was still staring at him, knowing no words, her weakness growing stronger. He was beautiful, riveting. She'd give anything to just…

"What happened with Malfoy?" he cut into her thoughts.

Luci shook herself, trying to return to cool.

"Well, _he_ hates me, anyway. He was too arrogant to listen, and Narcissa was furious, so they ran off. I've been trying desperately to find them and I've looked everywhere. I finally decided that I needed to regroup."

It was mostly true. Her eyes were stinging.

"Why didn't you go to your good friend, Snape?" fired Harry, with no regard to her desperation.

She exhaled. There was no need to discuss Severus.

"Harry, I told you, I'm sorry that I didn't spill everything. What more can I do?"

"This isn't about you and Malfoy!" he spat. "This is about you leaving here without even considering me. I thought I'd never see you again."

She blinked. There was something in his voice…

Suddenly, she knew what it was, and she knew that she had to push him away before this went any further. Abrupt terror had flooded her. She never thought it possible that he could feel anything for her, so he hadn't been in any danger. Now, if something had changed, he wasn't safe from her anymore…

"So did I. I meant for it to be goodbye."

"_Luci_…" whimpered Harry, his jaw slack.

Her name under the spell of his voice, in that tone… Her stomach did a somersault. When did this happen? Had she missed it? Been blind to it? She took a shaky breath, refusing to meet his eyes, talking herself out of running to him, kissing him, telling him everything, promising to be better…

"Has it all meant _nothing_ to you?" came his voice again, still bathed in heartache.

She couldn't hold herself together. "No! Just the opposite!"

He frowned. "The _opposite_? That doesn't make any sense. Why would you–"

"I'm such a disaster, Harry," she interrupted. It was true, and she had to convince him. For his own sake. "It'd be _better_ if you never saw me again."

"How can you say that?"

"You're so angry…" she faltered, and she didn't know why her inflection had sounded the least bit surprised.

"What do you expect, after all you've done?" he bellowed.

Luci swallowed hard. Perhaps she'd finished it. Perhaps now, he would want nothing to do with her. And though she wanted everything to do with him, it was because she loved him that she had to save him.

She tried to stay composed as she said, "I don't have the right to expect anything. All I have the right to do is try to leave here without ruining anything more in my wake."

As quickly as she could, she went to the desk and gathered the things that she'd laid out. She'd leave the address book on the floor; she didn't really need it.

Harry hadn't said anything more, so she kept her eyes down and headed for the door. She was about to pass him, and she almost thought that she was going to make it out, but he seized her arm forcefully.

Taken aback by this, Luci merely stopped still. She was such a fucking idiot; why hadn't she Apparated?

He had pulled her close to him, and his coppery scent was immediately assailing her. Everything inside of her began to vibrate in anticipation. She kept her gaze on his chest, the olive-colored shirt that he was wearing. She didn't know what to do, or what to say, or if she should move at all. He was breathing as shallowly as she was. She thought it must be the magnetism surrounding them that was sucking out all of the oxygen…

Finally, Harry spoke, and she trembled.

"Why did you leave without saying anything to me? I thought we… I mean…" His voice broke, and so did all of her resolve. "Did you really think that I never wanted to see you again?"

Luci forced herself to look up at him. His eyes were overcast, and he was being so gracious. She didn't merit it.

"Yes. I thought you'd be happy to get rid of the daughter of a Death Eater."

His expression hardened. "No, I… We were friends, weren't we?"

She exhaled desolately. "_Aren't_ we?"

Harry simply blinked.

And then her mouth got away from her, the words tumbling over each other as they spilled from her lips.

"I don't know how we can be. I've wrecked it all. And there are too many 'I'm sorry's for me to say. I can't expect you to ever forgive me for everything. And I know that you'll never see me the same way, now that you know. But can't you see why I didn't tell you? Don't you wish that you'd never found out? So I _will_ go find my help elsewhere. Thank you for… everything. I can't tell you what y–"

She'd almost said _you_. "What _it's_ meant to me…"

"So you're just going to leave me again?"

She had kept her eyes down, but they shot up at this.

"Leave _you_?"

He took a deep breath. "Yes."

Her entire core soared. She wanted to kiss him. But instead, she was going to make it right, and yes, she was going to leave him. Again.

"Harry… I've hurt you so much and I never meant to and I'm so unbelievably sorry. All I wanted was to keep Draco safe, and now, so many other things have become important, and I've done everything wrong, and I'm just…"

Dammit, she wouldn't cry. She steadied herself.

"I shouldn't have left without saying anything. I was just so scared of what you must think of me and I couldn't bear to face you and I'm just spineless in general and I'm sorry, I really am. I wish that we could start over."

Luci's vision was clouded by her tears, but she was focusing on his eyes. She never wanted to forget them. This expectant silence was hanging between them, igniting the air, and she struggled with herself, to keep from confessing her love. She hoped that he would release her arm now, let her go, save himself. But instead, he was lowering his head, and he was so close…

Before she could stop it, his mouth was on hers.

She heard a crash as everything she'd been holding fell to the floor, but the sound was distant. Every inch of her body had surged to life. She pressed her lips to his, and though she faintly felt her stomach go into knots, it was as if her entire being was centered on the sensation of his mouth, and nothing else registered. The magnetism had now become a wave, crashing them into each other. She was losing herself…

And then, his arms were gripping her, tugging her closer, and with a sudden awareness of what was happening, she pulled away. Her foot caught on something. It didn't matter.

"No, no…" she heard herself mutter, from smoldering lips.

"No?" he echoed, his breathing labored.

_Oh, god. _This was _tragic_. Part of her wanted to jump up and down in ecstasy. But she knew that she had to stop this. Though she wanted so badly to know how he felt. It had been the most magnificent kiss of her life…

"What does this mean, Harry?"

He didn't seem to have an answer. It had all become a profound awkwardness. She knew that she could end it, either by leaving or by resuming the kissing. She also knew that neither of these was a good idea, however.

At last, he murmured, "I've just… wanted to kiss you…"

Luci's knees nearly gave way.

"I see," she managed.

Harry was looking at her in a new way, a way that she could hardly believe. There was something about him, something that warmed and tempted her and stood at the door of her self-imposed prison, threatening to splinter the wood. Could they do this together? Was it possible that she could finally have him?

_No_, her conscience reminded her, and all of the reasons flooded back.

"Oh!" she cried, and she couldn't face him anymore. "This is _so_ wrong!"

_And probably illegal._

She gasped at the realization. "I'm going to lose my job!"

He contributed, "I'm of age, Luci."

"Yes, but I'm still a Ministry Official and you're still a Hogwarts student!"

She was pacing again. Did she do this as often in the past? The past had been so much simpler…

Then she remembered something else.

"What about you and Ginny?"

Harry answered with assurance, "There is no 'me and Ginny.'"

"Oh, god, she'll think I…"

Of course, what did it matter what Ginny thought anymore? Luci had ruined every single relationship she'd made since she'd arrived here. She'd created such wreckage out of everything. She couldn't let Harry be another casualty.

So she stopped her movement and looked up at him.

"We can't do this, Harry."

His brow furrowed, pain clouding his eyes.

"Why not?"

There were too many reasons to list.

"Because… it's… inappropriate," she answered ineffectually.

"But you _do_ feel something for me?"

Her skin reacted to the words. They had been so hopeful, coming out of his mouth.

_Yes!_ she wanted to declare. But she shook her head and replied, "This is all my fault… If I'd known this was happening…"

Well, if she'd known, she'd have done nothing to stop it. She wanted this, more than anything. And she wasn't the least bit ungrateful that it was being handed to her, but if he _knew_…

"What?" he had prompted.

"I would have stayed away from you," was her lie. But she added the truth, "I _should_ have."

"Why?"

She couldn't explain her rationale to him. Her heart was growing weary with misery.

"Just let it go, Harry."

"No," he snapped firmly.

Luci didn't mean to sound desperate when she blurted, "Please. Just… You need to go."

But Harry was standing resolutely in place, and she adored him for it. She absolutely did _not_ want him to go.

"Not until you tell me the truth. Don't you… I mean… there's _something_ here, isn't there?"

Her heart, amidst its racing, gave a painful thump at his pitch. She lowered her eyes and whispered to herself, "There's _everything_."

"Look at me," he said suddenly.

And she couldn't. Not until she could replace her mask. And it almost killed her, but she had to protect him.

At last, she met his gaze, her emotions pushed to the farthest interiors of her being.

"I don't feel the same."

The words resonated in the room. It was the biggest lie that Luci had ever told.

Harry looked crushed.

"But, Luci, I…"

Her heart cried out with pain, but her expression hid it.

She repeated quickly, "I don't."

He emitted a miserable huff.

"You're lying. _Again_. Why can't you ever be straight with me?"

She had to look away now. He knew her too well.

"Just go."

"Fine," he snarled, and then he was leaving.

"Harry," she called in yearning.

_Shit_. She could never control herself, could she?

But he only stopped, refusing to turn.

So she concluded, "I'm… so sorry. You have no idea."

"You're always sorry," was his bitter reply.

Luci sobbed before she could prevent it. If he hadn't hated her before, he certainly did now. But it was worth it. He would be free to find happiness, beauty, simplicity, sanity, all the things that she lacked.

Before stomping out and slamming the door, he insisted, "Just… stay here tonight, okay?"

She collapsed into tears instantly, falling against the footboard of her bed. Part of her wanted him to come back, to refuse to give up on her, to make her believe that she was worth fighting for. All she wanted was to tell him the truth, to be in his arms again, to feel his lips again… But she knew that she never could. She had just thrown away a dream, and she couldn't stand herself for it. But she didn't deserve him.

If Kristen had been there, she'd have said, "Fuck it! Be selfish!" But Luci had never been very good at being selfish. She didn't even know why. Perhaps she was a bit self-destructive. Perhaps she liked some suffering. She didn't believe that she was worthy of anything good.

And she wept until her head throbbed so relentlessly that she thought she'd vomit. Then she stood shakily, and, against her better judgment, decided to stay.

She changed into her nightclothes, leaving everything on the floor, and crawled into her bed. Her cold, lonely bed. Her friends on another continent, her brother gone, her love lost. She could die. If only she were able to.

Heavily sedated by the tears she'd been crying for months on end, Luci must have dozed off. The sound of raised voices first carried into her dreams, then awoke her. She sat up, listening hard. That damn portrait was shrieking, though why at this hour? She checked the clock on her nightstand and it displayed 4:47 AM.

Luci wanted to roll over and return to slumber, the safest place for her muddled mind. But as she heard footsteps on the landing, she thought that she should probably look into the disturbance. She sighed, clambered out of the warm blankets, and peeked out from behind her bedroom door.

Harry and Ron were leaning over the banister, looking down at something. She wanted to run to Harry and wrap her arms around him and tell him how very sorry she was…

But then Narcissa's voice met her ears.

"Luci!" she was bellowing.

So Luci rushed to Harry's side and peered down at the woman.

"_Now_ she wants my help," she muttered.

Both Harry and Ron gave her an appreciative smile, but she hadn't meant the comment for them.

"Luci!" said Narcissa again, her tone frightened. "He's taken Draco! The Dark Lord has taken him!"


	34. Chapter ThirtyFour: Our Next Stop Is MoM

**Chapter Thirty-Four – Our Next Stop Is MoM (corresponds with POTP chapter 23)**

Hearing this, Luci gasped and reached out in alarm. Her hand found Harry's wrist, her heart fluttered, and he looked into her face. She released him hastily and headed straight for the stairs.

She knew it, she _knew_ it! She should have never ceased searching for her brother!

"We're going after him," she called down to Narcissa as she practically flew along the steps.

"We can't do that! He'll kill us all!"

"Well, we have to try, don't we? We can't just leave him there!"

"It's too late! He'll kill my Draco!"

The woman was wringing her hands.

"No, he won't," came Bill Weasley's voice, from somewhere in the room. "The Malfoy boy is bait."

Arthur stepped closer to his son. "Bait for whom?"

Bill immediately looked up at Harry, and everyone in the room mimicked this.

Harry frowned. "Me? Why would I care if he had Malfoy?"

But then his eyes went to Luci, who suddenly realized that she was wearing a very meager pajama set. The fact was but a flash in her mind, however, because she knew at that moment that Voldemort had set a trap. And it was her fault. Her chest filled with anguish, terror both for Harry and for Draco.

No one had spoken, but Harry finally said, "We'd better be off then."

Hermione, who Luci only just noticed was standing on the first landing, next to Ginny, called up, "But Harry, what about… you know?"

Harry looked thoughtful, and then replied, "It'll have to wait."

Without warning, Molly appeared next to her husband. "I will not allow any of you children to go running after that boy. Especially not in the wee hours of the morning. This is a Malfoy family matter, and _their_ problem, as far as I'm concerned."

She gave Luci and Narcissa a distasteful glance. Apparently, the entire house knew of the blood relation at this point.

"But if Voldemort wants _me_–" began Harry.

"Then you won't go playing into his hands, young man," Molly sliced through his words.

Luci actually agreed with the woman. She and Narcissa should be the ones to go after Draco. But she knew that Bill's comment would ring in Harry's head, and that he would insist on escorting her. She hated Bill for that.

Regardless, she turned to Narcissa and said, "Let's you and I go. We'll get him back, I promise."

"_Me_?" she scoffed. "I'm merely a worried mother! _You_ are a trained Auror! Go alone if you choose, but _I_ certainly will not be joining you at the Ministry."

Luci was floored. And then suspicious. "The Ministry?"

Narcissa faltered for a split second. Then she responded coolly, "The Dark Lord has been known to hold his victims there, in the Department of Mysteries."

Luci raised an eyebrow. "How do you–"

"She's not going alone," interrupted Harry. "I'm going with her."

He started down the stairs, and Ron was right behind him. "So am I."

And then Hermione and Ginny were both coming down the staircase too.

Molly looked downright infuriated.

"Absolutely not!" she screeched.

"We can't stop them, Molly," Arthur coaxed her gently.

The woman shook angrily at this.

"Well, we can stop Ginny," she growled.

"I don't get to do _anything_!" complained her daughter.

"Let me get this straight; you _want_ to put your life at risk?"

Ginny glared at her mother cheekily and answered, "At least I'd _have_ some kind of a life then!"

The two of them argued some more, and Luci just stood there, her eyes on her bare feet. She could Disapparate right now, and no one would follow her, and she'd be on her own…

"And I don't see why all three of you must go!" Molly was rattling on. "Without any method of reaching us or getting help. It's absurd!"

"But we _do_ have a method," cut in Hermione.

She started to explain a charm that allowed her to contact groups of people. Luci wasn't listening anymore. She couldn't just stand here while her brother was in danger.

But she had to change first.

So she started past these ridiculous people and back to her room.

"Where are you going?" Harry piped up, and he sounded panicked.

"To get my brother. I don't have time for this shit."

But she had kept walking, and Harry was shadowing her.

"I'm not letting you go by yourself. Voldemort wants _me_!"

"All the more reason for you to stay here," she countered. "Molly's right."

"Thank you!" sighed the Weasley matron. "Finally, some common sense around here!"

Luci was almost to the second landing by now, with Harry on her heels. She stopped and turned to him, "Work this out with them. I'm going, with or without any of you. And I need to go _now_. I have to get dressed."

He opened his mouth, but didn't reply, merely blinked.

She wanted to throw herself into his arms at that moment. Instead, she left him on the stair upon which he'd been standing.

When she returned downstairs, the members of the Order had apparently agreed to allow Harry, Ron, and Hermione to accompany Luci, if they promised to send for help in any time of need. It seemed that they believed it highly unlikely that Voldemort would be found at the Ministry anyway.

While her three companions were upstairs, dressing, Charlie pulled Luci aside, into the kitchen.

"I need to talk to you," he whispered.

"About something top secret?"

He gave her a questioning look.

"Why are you whispering?" she clarified.

"Because people are meddlesome around here," he responded. "Listen, you have to promise me you're going to be careful."

"Didn't we already have this conversation?"

"That was different. This is… He Who Must Not Be Named," he gulped.

"Right," she said, swallowing just as loudly. "I'm a mess. I'm not even sure what I'm getting into."

"I _know_; that's why you have to be careful!"

His eyes were clouded with genuine concern, and she moved forward and hugged him.

When she pulled away, she said, "I appreciate you, Charlie. You're a phenomenal friend."

"Are you trying to change the subject?" he said with an uncertain expression. "Are you going to promise to be careful or not?"

"I'll try," sighed Luci.

He nodded. "And I know I don't have to ask for Harry, but keep an eye on Ron and Hermione, okay?"

"If you don't have to ask for Harry, you don't have to ask for Ron and Hermione. They're kind of a package deal, you know."

Charlie gave a short chortle. "Good point."

"And when I get back," Luci went on, lowering her voice even moreso, "there's a lot I need to tell you."

"What happened?" he asked, interest engraved upon his face.

She shrugged coyly.

"Is it about Harry?"

She didn't say anything. She just allowed a small smile.

Charlie almost released an exclamation, but instead, he stopped and inquired quietly, "Did you tell him? Does he feel the same?"

She gritted her teeth. "He… feels _something_. But I scared him off."

He tilted his head to the side, silently scolding. "What'd you do?"

Then, from her left, someone loudly cleared their throat.

Charlie looked up with a pained expression, gave Luci one last troubled glance, and hurried out of the kitchen.

Luci faced Harry, and suddenly, their kiss bounced into the foreground of her memory. She instinctively touched her mouth, and it was burning, recalling, hungering...

"Luci?"

She hadn't realized that he'd said anything.

"Sorry… what?"

"You don't have to come with us," he said, for what might have been the second time.

She was almost insulted. This was _hers_ to do, after all, and nobody else's.

"That's crazy. Of course, I'm coming with you. I've gotta get Draco out of there. I'm the only one who cares what happens to him."

Harry's hands fell to his sides in frustration. "You're right, I don't care about Malfoy."

Somehow, it felt as if he'd just disregarded _her_. So she fired carelessly, "Do you care about _me_?"

His expression softened. "You know I do."

"Okay, then," she said with finality.

But he continued, "You're… important to me."

She was incapable of going over this with him again. Her nerves were frazzled.

"Harry, please don't do this right now."

"No, listen to me," was his demand, his voice so adamant that she nodded her compliance.

He went on resolutely, "It doesn't matter whether or not you feel the same. Voldemort knows how _I_ feel and that means that you could possibly be killed."

She supposed he didn't realize that death would not bother her. No, if he and Draco were all right, she wouldn't mind dying at all. And she told him this as best she could.

"I don't care, Harry. He's my brother and I have to go after him."

"Fine," he hissed at her.

She wasn't sure why he'd unexpectedly become angry. But his emotional instability, so similar to her own, made her feel very connected to him. Yes, there was certainly _something_ here…

"I should tell you…" she started, but she ceased immediately. That she was sorry? That she loved him? So much.

"What?"

Luci's pulse had quickened. She made no response.

"_What_?" he exhorted, and she could only close her eyes on the question.

"God, you're doing my head in!" fumed the boy that she loved, and she flinched.

"We're ready," barged in Ron's voice.

He, Hermione, and Ginny were in the room now, and Luci felt oddly like she'd been caught naked or something. She wanted all of them to disappear. Except for Harry, of course.

"Mum has the Galleon, and the Order will come if we need them," Ron added.

"And the D.A.?" asked Harry.

Ginny broke in, "We'll get the message."

Then, to Luci's utter horror, the red-haired beauty flung herself at Harry in a firm embrace. Luci's first instinct was to pry her off and claim him, but Ginny simply said to him, "Please be careful, Harry."

And he nodded.

Next, her eyes met Luci's, and she concluded, "Good luck finding your brother."

"Th-thank you, Ginny…" she managed, trying to conceal her bewilderment.

There was a moment of silence, and Harry said, "All right, let's go rescue someone we don't even like."

"To the street outside the telephone box?" asked Hermione, and Harry and Ron concurred.

But Luci shook her head. "I don't know that street."

So Harry reached out and took her hand, and before her stomach could turn itself completely over, they were standing outside, and his fingers were no longer laced with hers. It was dark, still early morning, and the January cold nipped at her skin. She focused on the phone booth immediately, knowing that it was the passage into the Ministry, and gave a quiet instruction.

"Come on."

The other three were behind her, and Ron was the last into the box. He closed the door, just as Luci was thinking of the last time that she'd been inside of a phone booth, crying about her unrequited love, which was now the least of her problems.

Harry had retrieved the headset and she watched him dial 62442 onto the keypad.

A female voice responded, "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business."

"Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Luci Keegan… um… looking for Draco Malfoy?"

Luci glanced up at him, flashing what she hoped was a cheering smile. She must have failed at the inflection, because he wrapped his right arm around her shoulders. Her insides danced happily, and she rebuked them.

The woman's voice was speaking from the telephone again. "Thank you. Visitors, please take the badges and attach them to the front of your robes."

Four small clasps appeared in the coin chute, and Harry reached for them, handing them to his companions. Luci shoved hers into the pocket of her jeans.

The operator had gone on, "Visitor to the Ministry, you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the Atrium."

"Yes, we know," Harry answered her impatiently.

Subsequently, the booth began to shake with great force, and then they were sinking into the pavement. The shadows grew heavier, and Luci impulsively pressed herself into Harry's body. She wished that they were alone, and she could run her hands over his skin and her lips over his mouth and…

_Draco._ She had to think about her brother and what they were about to face. Suddenly, panic overtook her.

She spewed, "I'm scared," before she could stop herself. Then she added, mellowing her tone, "Just so all of you know."

Harry's best friends shared expressions of astonishment, while he said skeptically, "You're an _Auror_."

_I'm an idiot_, she thought. Then she inhaled slowly and explained, "Courage was never my strength."

"Well, it's _mine_," said Harry, and Ron added, "We're Gryffindors for a reason."

Fortunately, their elevator stopped at this moment, the merry voice saying, "The Ministry of Magic wishes you a pleasant day."

Then the grates opened, showing them a beautiful Atrium, lined with numerous fireplaces. If anyone worked here, they had yet to report for duty.

Harry began to step out of the booth, and Luci made to follow him, but he abruptly moved backwards, plummeting her to the floor of the box.

"What the…" she panted.

He was hammering his palm recklessly against the button that would close the doors again. Luci was perplexed by this, until she saw the Dementor floating towards them. It seemed to have eyes only for Harry, and though he reached for his wand, he was succumbing to its powerful vacuum.

"Do something!" shouted Ron.

Hermione contributed, "I'll do it!"

Luci had been momentarily frozen, but she replied, "Hold on!" and went for her wand.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" she launched at the Dementor.

Her robust panther sprang from her wand, barreling into the hooded figure. Except that the Dementor didn't react at all. It continued to drain Harry, and he fell into the side of the booth. Fear pierced Luci's heart. She'd never seen an impenetrable Dementor before…

Unless…

She stepped forward, between Harry and the creature, and her thoughts had been correct. Everything went orange before her eyes, and she could feel the water lapping at her ankles. It hadn't been a Dementor at all, but a Chipretta, and the fear in Luci's heart grew stronger.

She was going to drown. She was going to die right here. Right when they needed her. But she had to try…

Flourishing her wand madly, she began to chant the complicated spell.

Nothing happened, and she repeated the words, over and over again. The water was rising, then diminishing, then rising again. She felt terror and weakness bombarding her. She thought she might be crying, but there was so much wetness everywhere that she couldn't tell. Her legs were so cold…

And then she lost her will.

"I can't do it!" she sobbed, giving up.

"Yes, you can!" encouraged Hermione, and then there was another wand, and another voice.

So Luci took up again, though the fright had yet to subside, and she was fucking up the spell. She had to steady herself in order to repeat it properly.

But the water was withdrawing! A surge of hope, and she persisted with renewed vigor.

"Can we help?" she heard Ron offer, but no one answered.

It was working, and she and Hermione were gradually defeating the Chipretta together!

When there were only scattered puddles left around them, Luci's legs gave way beneath her. Someone caught her, and she thought perhaps she'd go to sleep now…

But she forced her eyes open. Harry was supporting her weight, so she wouldn't have hit the floor.

"Thank you, Hermione."

The shorthaired girl looked as exhausted as Luci felt, and she could only nod in reply.

Then Harry asked, "What _was_ that? Everything was… orange."

"A Chipretta," she croaked, her throat dry and sore.

"Ky-_what_?"

She began to sit up, but he was still propping her with one hand.

"Chipretta," repeated Hermione in answer.

"I thought it was a Boggart…" he said uncertainly.

Luci countered, "Your greatest fear isn't a Dementor, is it?"

"My greatest fear is fear," said Harry, and her heart flared with admiration.

"As it should be," she smiled weakly.

"Yours isn't?"

If she told him her greatest fear, he would think her pathetic, as he'd experienced it more times than anyone should. But she answered anyway, "Mine is loss."

His expression turned to aggrieved nostalgia, and she felt awful.

"A Boggart can't kill you," Hermione threw in. "A Chipretta's sole _purpose_ is to kill you, in the worst way that you can possibly imagine."

Luci nodded in agreement. "In your case, a Dementor, even though Dementors don't _actually_ kill you. _That_ one would have."

Ron said, "Scariest bloody thing I ever heard of."

"And you're afraid of drowning?" Harry asked Luci, and her body reacted from the horror again.

"How did you get rid of it?" he went on.

"Harry!" warned Hermione, before Luci could respond.

And then a frosty voice snarled, "Well, well…"


	35. Chapter ThirtyFive: Family Reunion

**Chapter Thirty-Five – Family Reunion (corresponds with POTP chapters 23 & 24)**

A dark-haired woman was pressing her hands against the doors of the phone booth. She looked sinister, and there was no escape. Her skeletal eyes were roaming over all four of them, and Harry got to his feet. Luci followed.

The woman gave a satisfied smile. "Hello, baby Potter."

And then, Luci recognized her as the onlooker from the café window. Who was she? And what did she want? In any case, Luci wasn't going to let anyone past these doors. She moved in front of Harry, blocking the entrance.

"Back off," she threw, and the woman cackled malevolently.

As if summoned, a large pack of hooded figures stepped up to flank her.

"I think you lot will be coming with us," she said.

"Where's my brother?" growled Luci, her voice as cold as she could make it.

Their captor laughed once more, and it echoed through her gang like a wave.

"We're very pleased you fell for that. You don't think I'd hurt my nephew, do you? Draco is just fine."

_Bellatrix._

Luci's gut filled with loathing, but it was quickly pushed out by regret. It had all been staged, to get them here.

She looked to Harry before biting down on the insides of her cheeks and almost barking with fury. Then she exploded, "Am _I_ what you want? Then take me. But you let them go."

"You think you're important?" Narcissa's disparate sister taunted with a wicked grin. "We have no use for you, though there are some of us who would like to see you dead, if for no other reason than to restore the Malfoy name… No, the Dark Lord wants Potter, and you were stupid enough to bring him here. Selfish, aren't you?"

Luci's stomach plummeted at the accusation, and she went sick with fear. Her skin prickled unpleasantly, as did her eyes, but Bellatrix had snatched her arm and pulled her from the phone booth before she had been able to speak. It was a trap for Harry, and she had led him right into it… She was so goddamn stupid. How could she have made such an appalling decision? Whatever it took - her life, anyone else's - she would get Harry out of this…

The masked group had gathered Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and all of the prisoners were being dragged down the hallway. Why hadn't they taken the wands of their captives? Luci caught a glimpse of a beautiful fountain that appeared to be made of gold. Then they were pushed into another elevator, and Harry serendipitously ended up beside her. She reached for his hand, entangling their fingers. He returned the pressure but didn't look at her. She was riddled with such guilt that she didn't know what to do with herself. She was almost pacing in place, and suddenly, she realized that she was still soaked from the Chipretta. She shivered.

As it moved, the elevator made a terrible racket. Finally, it halted.

"Ninth floor, Department of Mysteries."

They were herded directly forward, through a black door, and into a dome-shaped room. Before darkness enveloped them, Luci noticed that they were surrounded by marble, and that there were many other doors in this room. It felt much like they were inside of a snow globe. There was an eerie glow, emitted by eerie candles, and the room had begun to spin. At first, Luci thought she'd grown dizzy, but then Bellatrix demanded, "The room, please," and the rotation ceased.

A door had opened at her words, and someone was pulling Luci towards it. Her hand lost Harry's, and she suddenly felt very cold and wet again. Now they were in a new room, almost like a concert arena. Innumerable stone steps led the eye to the center of the space, which featured a strange archway with a flapping curtain. Except that there was no wind in this room…

But they were already being pushed through another doorway, before Luci could ask any questions. And her eyes fell on a chair in the farthest corner.

She tore herself away from her captor and darted straight for her brother. He seemed to be unconscious. And then she realized.

"Sleeping charm," she muttered, producing her wand. "_Evigilo_."

Draco awoke slowly, his tired eyes perplexed. "You came…"

Luci smiled softly. "Of course, I came. You're my brother."

"It was a trap…" he choked.

Then he noticed the other occupants of the room and asked, "What is _he_ doing here?"

She could only assume that he was referring to Harry, but she simply answered, "It's okay, Draco."

"You're wet," he frowned.

She had forgotten again. She quickly dried herself with her wand.

And her brother said, "He's going to kill us all."

She shook her head. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

Someone laughed, deeply, coldly.

"You won't need to protect the boy from his own father."

Luci's heart stopped dead in her chest. It couldn't be… _Oh, god, please don't let it be_…

She turned to see that one of the Death Eaters had lowered his hood, revealing that white blonde hair, the same hair that she and Draco shared. The sharp features were contorted with some kind of gruesome glee. The gray eyes stared cruelly at her. Yet, she held them. She tried to understand her father, just by looking upon him, but she couldn't. Her flesh was crawling, her heart now pumping in shock.

The room had been horribly silent, until Draco's voice cut into the air.

"Father?"

The man's eyes left Luci's, and he turned to his son. "You are safe, Draco. Come here and join us."

But Draco was as stunned as Luci, though perhaps for different reasons. He merely gasped, "But… how…?"

Their father flashed a proud smile. "The Dark Lord has welcomed us back."

"Why on _earth_ would Voldemort welcome you back?" Luci hissed, suddenly electric with fury, feeling as if she could breathe fire.

"Do not speak his name," scolded her father. "In order to prove my loyalty, I offered him your life in return for Draco's and mine."

She couldn't remember anything ever hurting so badly. Her head was buzzing, her eyes stinging with emotion, but she would not let this man get the best of her. After all, he shouldn't mean anything to her either.

And then Hermione's voice rang, "That doesn't prove any _loyalty_, you coward! It's not a sacrifice if you don't _care_ about the person!"

But even more surprising, Draco had surged from his seat, bellowing, "NO!" and then dizzily crumbling back into the chair, holding his head.

Their father narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean – NO?"

"She's my _sister_ and I won't let you," snapped Draco, and Luci wanted to hug him.

"How _dare_ you speak to me that way, Draco?"

And his son stood once more. "You let the Dark Lord send me after Professor Dumbledore and you knew, you _knew_ that I wouldn't be able to do it, and I could have been _killed_, but all you cared about was getting back into his good graces!"

She was overwhelmingly proud of him. But what had changed since the last time they'd seen each other?

Their father appeared uncomfortable. "That's ridiculous, Draco. You're my son. I've done nothing but protect you."

Draco stood tall and countered, "_Luci_ has protected me! She came here to save me from _you_!"

_Yes_, thumped her heart.

"Rubbish. That Mudblood has done nothing but lie to you," growled Lucius, throwing a grimace at Luci.

And suddenly, she almost pitied him. His son had finally seen through him.

Draco was looking at her, questioning with his eyes.

She assured dotingly, "It was to keep you safe. It was _all_ for you."

After an obnoxious scoff, their father spewed, "You can't possibly believe this nonsense, Draco. Now, join us. The Dark Lord will arrive shortly and he will take care of these worthless fools."

He had meant the four of them who had come, but Draco was only focusing on Luci and their father. He seemed hesitant, as though he was unsure of the best side to choose.

So she said clearly, loudly, "Draco, you're _not_ a Death Eater. You're so much better than they are. You're so much… _more_."

He met her eyes. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, believed in him, knew that he was innately good.

But she could only continue, "You know I'm right. Remember what I told you. You have a chance to–"

"Shut up, you ridiculous girl."

Bellatrix had interrupted, but had barely finished her own sentence, as another figure had entered the room.

"What have we here?"

There was no mistaking Lord Voldemort, even though Luci had never laid eyes on him until this moment.

And then Harry made a noise of pain, stumbling, his eyes slammed shut. Luci wanted to run to him, but before she could even move, Hermione was at his side. And then he was steady on his feet again. And Luci wished that she'd been the one to relieve his pain. But, no, she only _caused_ him pain, didn't she?

She hadn't noticed that Voldemort had begun strolling towards her, followed by a large, green snake, and though he was unexpectedly urbane, his voice was like ice.

"This must be Lucius's _lovely_ daughter. Yes, it's the eyes."

And then he was diving into those eyes, and she felt violated and sick. But she couldn't push him out.

"You're on the wrong side, you know. Your father must be ashamed."

She thought she heard her father laugh, in fact. But she could only focus on the Dark Lord's gaze. Her every nerve was aflame, her every defense at ready, except that she was unbearably inert.

And then he was touching her. His cold finger against her cheek. She shuddered and managed to finally close her eyes on him. She felt like he was going to literally take a bite out of her.

But the voice that she so adored came to her rescue.

"Get away from her!"

The Dark Lord looked to Harry, and he smiled a wicked smile before taking a step back from Luci.

"So it's true? You're in love with a Death Eater's daughter?"

_In love?_

Luci couldn't breathe…

Voldemort turned back at her sound of suffocation.

"You didn't know?" he teased, his voice a snap of triumph.

She pressed her mouth tightly closed to restrain from crying out with emotion.

"Oh, yes, I'm afraid so," he went on.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. But she centered herself and choked, "Close your mind, Harry."

Harry met her eyes, and he looked defeated. She felt her stomach drop out.

The Dark Lord grinned maniacally.

"He was never a very good Occlumens, to my great delight. But no. I dare not venture into that territory. I have other ways of learning secrets."

_Narcissa_. That bitch. She had seen it. Everyone had seen it. It had been obvious, all along.

But as Luci was upbraiding herself for being so blind, she noticed Severus entering the room, and relief flooded over her instantly. Someone was following him, but she didn't care who it was. He was here, and he would save them!

"Severus, kill the boy and his… _sister_," said Voldemort nonchalantly, welcoming the new arrivals.

Severus stopped in his footsteps. "My Lord, don't you think that we should let them go? Lucius is a most loyal servant and they _are_ his children."

Her father was gawking, and she didn't know why. Did he know nothing of the villain that he served?

"Lucius has failed me. The boy has failed me," the Dark Lord hissed.

"M-my son…"

And Luci was surprised that her father was surprised. But she wasn't scared anymore.

After some consideration, and an overpowering silence, Voldemort commanded, "Spare the boy. He could be of use. But we agreed upon the girl. And Potter seems quite fond of her, which certainly sweetens the pot."

She wondered how Severus would get out of this, but hadn't even completed the thought before Draco threw himself in front of her, shrieking, "No!" once more.

This astonished her more than it had the first time, but not nearly as much as when he concluded, "You'll have to kill us both!

The Dark Lord's mouth curled into a smile.

"Very well," he said, directing his wand at Draco's chest.

Luci glanced at Severus pleadingly. And then she saw the look of bewilderment reflected in his eyes, as the room next to them filled with the sound of… popping? She looked at Harry, and he appeared just as puzzled as she was.

Then, before them, stood their cavalry.

The members of the Order were throwing spells into the room before Luci was even sure of what was happening. She also noticed, to her bafflement, that a few teenagers had arrived. But there was no time to question. Voldemort was, somehow, nowhere near her, so she immediately joined in, directing jinxes into the crowd of Death Eaters. When she was sure that she had a moment to spare, she glanced around for Draco and Harry. Her brother had moved to the back of the room, away from the chaos, and she was grateful for it. Harry was simply standing there, talking to a girl with long, dark hair. Luci shook her head and returned her focus. A stunning spell almost hit her in the chest, but she dodged it just in time. Her movement sent her tumbling into another person, and she turned to see a welcome face.

"Charlie!" she beamed.

"Knight in shining armor, at your service!" he acknowledged back, with a wide grin, before returning his attention to his own fight.

Luci did the same, firing, "_Reducto_," at her previous assailant, and he was blasted into one of his fellow Death Eaters. Unfortunately, this seemed to anger the pair of them, and though she'd moved on to another hooded figure, the two she'd affronted had risen to their feet and were aiming at her. She incapacitated them both, but the third hit her with something that made her feel as if she'd turned to ice. The effects were brief, luckily, so she shot, "_Expelliarmus_," but she missed.

She was about to do something far worse to him when Molly Weasley appeared beside her.

"Luci, get the children out of here!" she shrieked.

"You got it!" Luci shouted back reassuringly. There was nothing she wanted more.

She headed for Draco, dodging people and their spells, and seized his wrist.

He gave her a quizzical look, but she commanded, "Stay still."

"Why?" he began to ask, but she had already put a palm to his head and begun the protective spell. It was the one she'd read about, the one that required love, the love that she was now certain was mutual.

"_Eleka nahmen nahmen ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen_…" she chanted, brushing away Draco's hands as he tried to stop her.

"What are you doing?" he was pleading.

Finally, she ceased, nodded her satisfaction, and began hauling him towards the door.

"What's going on?" her brother continued to question anxiously. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere safe," she answered quickly.

She blocked two spells before reaching Harry, who was dangling an opponent in the air.

She frowned at him. "Cute. Now gather your friends!"

Harry raised his eyebrows. "No way! I'm not leaving! This is _my_ fight!"

God, he was irritating when he was determined. She wished she hadn't fallen in love with him, that she didn't care what happened to him. But as it was…

So she responded, "You can come back with me if you want, but we have to get them out of here!"

She had no intentions of letting him come back, of course. But it was the only way to get him to follow in the first place.

He countered, "Ron and Hermione won't stay out of it either!"

She almost growled at him. "I don't have time to argue with y–"

And then she saw it and snapped, "Watch out!" before throwing herself at him and removing him from the path of the curse.

Somehow, his arms had ended up around her. She almost forgot all of it and went for his lips, but instead, she forced herself to push him away.

"Just help me get your friends to safety."

Then she went back for her brother, and Harry asked, "What about Colin?"

She didn't know who Colin was, but there was a small body on the ground. She gave Harry a contrite expression, but she simply continued to drag her brother from the room.

"Stay here," she said to him, once they were outside, and Draco grimaced.

Then she surged back in and grabbed Ginny's arm.

"Let go of me!" hissed the red-head.

"Nope," said Luci, tugging her out of the doorway.

Ginny was calling her uncouth names, but Luci ignored it and deposited her with Draco before going back in and seizing a boy that she didn't know.

"What are you doing?" he asked, confused. But she didn't answer.

Finally, Harry and Hermione joined them outside of the room.

"So _this_ is the 'D.A.' huh?" asked Luci.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" shot the girl with the long, black hair.

Luci stared at her. "Who are _you_?"

She smirked. "Harry's ex-girlfriend. Who are _you_?"

A sharp, dazed pain. There was so much that Luci didn't know about him.

She answered uncertainly, "Draco's sister…"

And then the boy she'd pulled from the room exclaimed, "Ron! Your face!"

"Yeah, had a little accident."

"Never mind _that_! Look at Hermione's hair!" said Harry's ex-girlfriend.

Luci had an urge to spit on her, but she refrained.

Another boy hissed, "Yes, _that's_ what's important," and Luci liked him instantly.

But she had to put an end to this nonsense.

"Everyone!" she cut across them. "Listen! I need to get all of you to a safe location. You shouldn't even be here in the first place! What did half of you do – Apparate illegally?"

Ginny put her hands on her hips. "So what? I didn't break the law for nothing; I want to fight!"

"Harry's trained all of us," one of the boys said. "We know how to defend ourselves."

A small blonde girl nodded. "My Patronus is a Crumple-Horned Snorkack."

Luci almost asked what the hell the girl was talking about, but she decided to disregard it. "All I know is that the Order wants you out of that room, so I'm going to get you somewhere safe. I'm asking all of you not to fight me on this."

One beseeching glance at Harry, and he agreed, "She's right; let's go."

She adored so many things about him, his leadership not the least of these. But she pushed this inkling aside, along with all of the protests that were rising around her.

She was trying to remember the way that they had come, but when they ended up in that revolving room again, Luci had no idea which door would lead them out of the Ministry. Fortunately, all of her companions were opening the doors, peering inside, and closing them again.

Soon enough, she heard Ron's voice.

"Here!" he'd beckoned, and disappeared into one of the rooms, leaving the door open.

Others were following him. So Luci took hold of her brother and headed for the door. Before she'd even reached it, she could see everyone standing in the big, white room, looking dreamy-eyed. She was dumbfounded by this, but made to enter anyway. Yet, when she was halfway through, she felt a strong tug on her arm, the one that was leading Draco.

"Ow!" yelped her brother.

Luci stepped back outside of the room.

"Why are you yanking on me?" she scolded. "Let's go."

Draco glared. "I wasn't _yanking_ on you. It was the room!"

Stumped, Luci called in to the D.A., "The rest of us can't get in! It's locked itself or something!"

"Let me try," snapped Ginny, who Luci had forgotten was behind them, and then she moved effortlessly through the doorway.

Luci frowned. Strange. She tried once more, more forcefully this time, still tugging on Draco's arm, but again, the room wouldn't allow her all the way in.

"Luci, try coming in by yourself," advised Hermione.

One of the boys sighed, "It's so cozy."

She looked at her brother, and he returned a nervous expression.

"I'm gonna try," she said to him, "but I'll be right back. If I can even get in."

He nodded, obviously irritated, and then she stepped through the doorway once more. This time, the room permitted her, and the atmosphere wrapped its arms around her, engulfing her body in a warm sensation, just like when Harry touched her… Butterflies took flight in her stomach. The room blushed from white to pink. And so did she.

"What _is_ this place?" she asked, feeling very nearly entranced.

Hermione declared, "You have to be in love! That's how you get in! I knew it! This is the room that we couldn't open two years ago!"

Someone else came into the room, past Luci. But her gaze had gone to Harry, who met her eyes in a brief, passionate moment that sent carnality coursing through her veins. Then there was a stab of panic, and she compelled herself to turn and march angrily from the room, even though she had no desire to leave the pleasant ambiance behind.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Draco, when she was beside him again, but she was stripped of words.

"We'll be safe from Death Eaters in here for sure!" Ron was saying happily from inside.

But Harry countered, "Not all of us, and if we can't _all_ get in, none of us can stay here."

_Always so unselfish_, she thought warmly, still not giving Draco an answer.

"He's right," Ginny had said, almost showing a redeemable quality, and then they were all pouring out of the room again.

"So?" Luci's brother prompted her.

"So what?" she replied.

"Is it true? You can only get in if you're in love?"

Hermione was trying to get Ron out of the room. He seemed averse to leaving.

"I guess," Luci said to Draco.

"Who is it then?" he went on.

"What?" she asked, distracted.

"That bloke in the States?"

But Ron had finally emerged, so she answered, "Not now, Draco. Okay, gang, we need to keep trying these ridiculous doors."

"Nauseating," she heard her brother spit.

And the members of the D.A. had returned to trying the doors in the circular room. Luci joined in, and eventually, one of them announced the discovery of a proper hiding place. They all gathered around the entrance and Luci saw that it was a long, narrow room, full of desks.

"Blimey," said a boy.

Ron added, "This place again."

"You _know_ this place?" asked Luci.

Ron nodded. "'Course. We were here two years back, right, Harry?"

"The room is safe," came Harry's concurrence.

"Okay, all of you stay put, and someone will be back for you," Luci said to them. "If no one comes… well… then do your best to get out of here. Apparate illegally again, I guess."

Then she glanced at her brother, and she tried to tell him with her eyes that she loved him, that she needed him to be careful, that she'd be back for him. He seemed oblivious. So she turned to leave the room. But Harry trailed her.

She stopped him. "What are you doing?"

He squared his jaw. "I'm coming back with you."

"Then they'll _all_ want to come back with me," she countered.

"So let them! We're not _kids_, despite what you think. You have no idea what we've been through together. The whole lot of them, except your brother, know exactly what they're doing."

Luci's mind undulated with frustration.

Then Draco said, "Just because I wasn't in your ludicrous little club doesn't mean that I'm not prepared. I've had far better instruction than _you_ could have provided, Potter."

There wasn't time for this. Luci turned to the boy that she loved and said softly, "I don't think you're a kid, Harry."

"So?"

She exhaled in defeat. "Harry needs to come with me," she said to the D.A. members. "Hermione, you're in charge."

Voices mounted angrily, but Luci ignored them. She pulled Harry from the room and closed the others in behind them.

Then she went immediately for the rotating doors. "So we need to find the right room again."

"Don't change the subject," Harry barked at her.

She opened a door.

"There's a subject?" she questioned, unfocused.

Then she banged the same door shut, as it had been that damn Love Room again.

Harry reeled, "You don't think I can handle this fight! You think I'm some stupid _kid_ who needs protecting!"

She had just _told_ him that she didn't think that at all! She wheeled to face him and said hotly, "No, Molly asked me to get all of you out of there and I did what she asked, and I wanted you to stay with them because I don't want anything to happen to you, but you insist on putting yourself in danger! So damn stubborn!"

Then she turned away and, remembering their previous journey with the Death Eaters, said, "The room, please," and the door opened obediently. Pleased, she started through it.

Harry was still going on behind her. "I've _always_ been in danger and I've _always_ come out fine!"

She hissed to herself. "Whatever, Harry, it's your choice."

"Voldemort is _mine_ to kill!"

What did _that_ mean?

"You sound like you're going hunting."

"He murdered my parents! You know I have to do it," huffed Harry.

Luci sighed. "I'd be the first person to seek revenge too, but–"

"This isn't just about revenge, Luci!" he cut her off. "This is about saving the entire Wizarding world, and the Muggle world too! And _I_ have to do it!"

"Nothing's written in stone," she answered, sick and tired of his hero complex.

After a few moments, he responded, "Well, I'm _deciding_ to do it."

She gritted her teeth. "So noble."

"Don't patronize me!" he seethed.

Luci stopped. "I wouldn't…"

He reached her and stopped too, directly in front of her, too close for her comfort…

She pressed her lips together. "I wouldn't patronize you. I really _do_ think you're noble. And I know you're still mad at me over… everything. But I _do_ care about you. I just want you to make it out of this. I want all of us to get out of this, and then I can go home and you and Draco can write me uneventful letters abou–"

"You're going home?" he interrupted.

"About nothing," concluded Luci, "and of course I'm going home. My whole life is there."

Harry looked at her unhappily, and something lurched inside of her. Did he want her to stay?

Then he queried, "Who's the bloke in the States?"

Taken aback, she moved her eyes to her feet. But there was nothing to hide, so she looked at him again and answered, "No one. Who's the ex-girlfriend?"

"No one," he said too, and then he moved even closer to her.

She could hear his heart beating, and she wanted nothing more than to fall against his body…

She blew out a long breath. She couldn't let herself forget what was happening in the adjoining room, and what they had ahead of them.

"I need to get back in there. Can we do this later? Now is not the time for jealousy."

With a small frown, Harry said, "Do I have a reason to be jealous?"

Her stomach surged forward again and, this time, she lost her oxygen, causing her to blurt, "Harry, you know I –"

But she stopped herself. _Did_ he know? Did she _want_ him to know? She wasn't sure.

So she redirected, "His name is Josh. He's a good friend and we've been writing and Draco… assumed, I guess. But it was never like that." With a smile, she finished, "He's my _Ron_."

Harry grinned in relief and her skin tingled all over. How much longer could she do this - refuse to be honest with him?

"You know, I believe that you can handle _anything_. I just don't want you to _have_ to," she said earnestly.

"So this is because you're _worried_ about me?"

She smiled softly.

"You're no safer than I am," he said knowingly.

She nodded. "Yes, but _I_ don't matter."

"You _do_ matter," he replied ardently. "You matter to _me_."

She was losing control of her senses. They were erupting in all sorts of happy vibrations and she simply couldn't get them to cease this absurd behavior.

But she said calmly to Harry, "Stop that. We have to go in there and fight and you nee–"

Then something cut across her words - a loud roar. It wasn't human.

"What the hell was _that_?" screeched Luci, and then she sprinted off towards the room.

Harry was right behind her, and he stopped on her heels, hissing, "Greyback!"

But Luci's eyes had already fallen on the creature. "A werewolf? My _god_."

"He's the one who bit Lupin," Harry elaborated, and fear had touched his voice.

She attempted to catch her breath. Her terror, too, was trying to take over, even against the warmth of Harry's body alongside hers.

"And I can't convince you to go back?" she asked him desperately.

"'Fraid not."

She inhaled unsteadily. "Then you should know…"

But he had gone around her, surging forward.

"HARRY, NO!" she screamed, but he hadn't heard her.

"Shit!" she swore, and then she barreled into the room after him.


	36. Chapter ThirtySix: Forced Confession

**Chapter Thirty-Six – Forced Confession (corresponds with POTP chapter 24)**

Before Luci could get very far, she went frozen to the spot in horror. Her eyes had met a gruesome scene.

The beast, Greyback, was attacking her father, the father that she despised, resented, wished awful things upon…

She stood there in shock, with chaos igniting around her, but she couldn't take her eyes from it. There was no way that he'd survive this kind of battery, the bloodshed that was happening. Part of her felt as though she should step in, attempt to help him, because she… well, she didn't want him to die. She had too many questions. It was a strange discovery, and it took her too long to make it.

Before she could force her body into action, Bill and Fleur had taken the werewolf under siege. Unexpected relief flooded Luci's chest, while she also felt it entirely unreasonable to care at all. Why did the bloody mess that was left of him make her want to cry? Was he alive? Would she be able to handle it, if he wasn't? Would _Draco_ be able to handle it?

Suddenly, a sickening sound met her ears. It was the voice that she loved, engulfed in pain, crying out. She turned, and a few feet away, a Death Eater was holding Harry's writhing body beneath his wand.

At this sight, Luci was instantly overcome, pierced by a blackness like she'd never known. She was only aware of rage. She knew that she was exploding, but it was all that she felt. Harry's screams had died away, replaced by the new bawling of an unfamiliar voice. She knew that she was causing it, but she didn't care.

Someone was calling her name. She glanced up, and her eyes met Harry's, but she barely registered him.

"That's an _Unforgivable_ Curse!" she heard him rebuke.

She looked away. She didn't care. She was preparing to kill this man, this man who had dared to harm the boy that she loved. He would answer to her now.

Her mind was ranting, blaspheming, unraveling with notions of vengeance.

Harry's voice came again, high and panicked. "You're an _Auror_!"

At his tone, something cleared faintly in her head, and she reconsidered.

"_Stupefy_," she spat towards the figure at her feet.

But another Death Eater was headed for them.

All defenses at ready, she snarled, "Relentless bastards!" and sent an incapacitating curse at the newcomer, who went down immediately.

And then someone had hold of her. She was being rattled.

"You're scaring me!" shouted Harry, almost hysterical.

Her eyes found his, and her anger melted away into adoration. She felt prompt shame and spewed, "Sorry, I don't know wh–"

But something hit her before she could finish. She was in the air for a split second prior to her tailbone cracking as it made contact with the hard floor.

Then Harry was standing above her, looking distressed and giving her his hand. She took it and stood, trying to catch her breath, feeling the bones painfully healing themselves. She looked around at the miserable situation. A surmounting doom filled her. Would they make it out of this?

"Are you all right?" asked Harry, concern lining his face.

"I lied," was her only response. She had become frenzied to tell him, fearing that she might not have another chance.

He was shaking his head, puzzled.

Luci sucked in a breath and finally emitted the words that had been bouncing around inside of her, trying to get out, for months.

"I love you, Harry."

It felt like a boulder being lifted from her, and she experienced the love now more than ever, with his green eyes penetrating her skin, and these circumstances threatening to separate them forever.

Harry's expression had changed to astonishment, and he didn't speak.

Two hooded figures were moving towards them, so Luci simply nodded at Harry, and then she threw herself back into the battle. If they lived, she would deal with the consequences. If not, well, he knew now.

Directing her wand at the two advancing Death Eaters, she fired, but only hit one of them. The other shot something at her, and she could only duck.

Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a whole group of people entering the room, led by Hermione. She growled in frustration. She hoped that Draco would be smart enough to have stayed away.

But there he was, and he immediately ran to their father, ignoring everything around him. She started for him, scared for his safety, but turned when a glint caught her eye. She followed it to a white-haired man, and the sparkle of light was reflecting from a sword that he was carrying. He was talking somberly with Severus, and she could have sworn she read the word "Horcrux" on the latter man's lips.

After a brief glance to check on Draco's security, Luci made her way over, nearly crawling in order to dodge streams of spells.

"Miss Luci Keegan, Mr. Craig Cambias," Severus said immediately upon noticing her.

"Pleasure," she said urgently to the older man. "What can I do to help?"

Craig quickly passed his sword to Severus and suggested, "Do not draw the Dark Lord's gaze in our direction. That is the best thing that we can do, for now, to allow Severus to avoid attention for as long as possible. It will give your Harry a chance too. Shall we duel, Luci?"

_My_ Harry? she wondered, before remembering Narcissa's admission to the Dark Lord. Everyone knew now. She felt embarrassed, but she agreed, "A solid plan," and shot a spell just over his shoulder.

He nodded, satisfied, and preceded with similar misfiring.

Luci noticed Severus moving away, but she was focused on their counterfeit fight.

"Thank you for the help," she called to Craig, over the noise, "with the… items."

"I have waited years for this breakthrough. It has been my pleasure."

She tried not to smile at him, but when he added appreciatively, "You are skilled," she couldn't stop her lips from curling up, just a little bit.

But all traces of the smile slid from her face when she heard what sounded almost like an explosion. Both she and Craig turned towards the noise. Through a wafting billow of smoke, she saw the large snake, lying in two separate pieces on the floor. She shuddered.

"NOOO!" she heard Voldemort protest, and then, nearly instantaneously, he was standing over the serpent's remnants, concentrating solely on the mess. He looked strangely aggrieved.

Severus instructed, "NOW, POTTER!" and Luci's eyes darted to Harry, who was standing a few feet away, almost as fixated as the Dark Lord himself.

Then, to her horror, she saw Severus's body fly past her, slamming forcefully into the wall beyond. A split second later, that silver sword whizzed by, and it sunk dully into the dark-haired man with a sickening sound, spilling blood everywhere. He howled in pain before going limp against the floor.

Luci gasped, and she made to go to him, but she was ripped, almost taking flight, in the other direction, an icy claw closing around her upper arm. At first, she was too stunned to realize what had happened, but then she heard Harry shriek, "NO!"

Voldemort was holding her firmly, and she began to thrash like mad, trying to free herself. He was laughing at her. He was going to kill her. And she could have lived with this, except that she knew that he'd kill Harry immediately afterward. She didn't know what to do. Severus couldn't help her anymore, and neither could anyone else.

"I think I will quite enjoy watching _you_ watch her die," Voldemort was saying to Harry.

She stilled herself, knowing that they were doomed. She studied the boy that she loved, and he slammed his eyes shut, his jaw twitching angrily. She had roped him into this. If she had just stayed away from him, he'd feel nothing for her, and they wouldn't be here. But she had to admit that the thought that he _did_ feel something for her was exhilarating, even now. There was so much that didn't get said between them, so much love that was never explored, so much regret criminally lingering… It was tragic.

And then, like lightning in her mind, she realized how to save him. If he could kill both of them, she _and_ Voldemort, then it would be finished. Harry and Draco would both be alive and safe, and they'd never have to fear again. It was worth her life, and she knew it. Still, it terrified her, and she had to struggle to push her survival instincts away. It was ironic, considering how badly she'd wanted to die just a few years ago. Now, though…

Finally, after what felt like an eternity inside of her troubled thoughts, Harry looked at her again.

"Just kill him," she said quickly, trying to keep her voice even.

Harry shook his head adamantly.

"Please, Harry," she pleaded. "You might not have another chance. This is about saving the _world_, remember?"

"Yes, Harry, take your only precious chance," came Voldemort's voice provokingly from above her head.

Harry stamped his foot. "No."

His chivalry endeared Luci to him even more so, but she couldn't let him risk his life for hers. She was trying desperately to think of something that would convince Harry to just kill her, when he said, "You know, that was the last one."

Luci could see people battling on – Arthur Weasley was protecting Harry from behind – but between the three of them, there was silence.

Then Harry continued, "Yep, all of the Horcruxes are destroyed. That was my last one, but thanks to Snape, who didn't seem to be on _your_ side, that one's taken care of too." He forced a smirk. "So I guess that makes you… _mortal_… doesn't it?"

_Oh, god, Harry, don't piss him off_…

The Dark Lord didn't speak for quite some time. His grip had tightened on Luci's arms, and she could practically feel the wrath radiating from him in arctic waves. She couldn't see his face, but she could tell that Harry was holding his gaze. She hoped that Voldemort wouldn't make another move. She hoped beyond hope that Harry would just take his chance and kill them both. She was ready. What was taking so long?

Then Harry staggered, his hands to his head, and Luci surged forward in response, but cold fingers held her immobile. She hissed furiously.

Harry's eyes had opened again, and he was staring hatefully at Voldemort, who finally said, "When I choose, I can still see into your mind, Potter."

_Fuck_.

"It seems that you _have_ defeated my Horcruxes, but you have not defeated _me_, and I find myself in the position of power."

_Kill us NOW, Harry, please!_

His gravelly voice was challenging, as he went on, "You were always weak. There are far too many people about whom you care deeply, and that puts you at a great disadvantage. This particular occasion, for instance…"

Driving pain rushed through Luci's being. What was happening? She screamed. It was her neck… White-hot pain spreading from a wound in her… neck? No, her entire head… No, her entire _body_… She was suddenly very warm, very wet… But she couldn't see straight. The agony was too much to bear… And then she was up against something cold, and she was sinking into nothingness…

The next thing of which she was cognizant was that of someone rolling her over.

She opened her eyes and a hand softly caressed her face. Harry wobbled slowly into clarity, and she was so happy to see him.

"That hurt," she moaned.

He looked awful. "I'm sorry. I had to."

"I know," she answered, smiling as best she could, even though she felt colder than she'd ever been in her life.

Harry was running his fingers over her torso. She didn't understand why, but it felt marvelous, so she let him. There was no way that she would have the strength to protest anyway.

"How do you do that?" he asked.

Do _what_? She tried to push herself on to her elbows, but she flopped backward languidly. She saw enough to know that her clothing had been torn, and that she was covered in blood. Was it her own blood?

Without warning, she was in the air. She felt like she was floating, but Harry's strong arms were around her. Her heart swelled with love for him, and then a bit of awareness drifted to the surface.

"Draco."

Harry said softly, "He's okay."

"It's over?" she asked, her tone begging for him to confirm.

"For now."

She tried to grin at him, because it's what she felt like doing, but she suddenly became irresistibly tired. She was going to go to sleep now…


	37. Chapter ThirtySeven: Pushing Away

**Chapter Thirty-Seven – Pushing Away (corresponds with POTP chapter 26)**

Voldemort had killed her. She was dead. Somehow, though, she was still aware of what was happening in the room.

The Dark Lord was advancing upon Harry, who merely stood there, almost as though he were oblivious…

The taunting from Voldemort was echoing in her head as she watched. But there was nothing that she could do. Her body was lifeless, and she was trapped inside of it.

She tried to call to him, to warn him. She couldn't let him die too…

"Harry!"

Luci awoke, choking on his name. She coughed, a struggle for breath.

She was lying in a bed. But where?

After surveying frantically, she decided that it must be a hospital room, though there was no one else here with her. No other patients, not her brother, not Harry, not even a nurse. She felt a horrible sense of abandonment. Had they forgotten about her? Wait… was she really dead? She had certainly _felt_ dead… She felt like she'd been on a voyage in distant lands. It was a very odd, detached sensation.

Weaker than she'd ever been, she just laid there, staring at the ceiling, feeling dejected. She couldn't remember ever being this exhausted. It was like the life force had been sapped out of her. Her mind was dark and fuzzy, and her limbs were like lead, and her eyelids were so heavy…

* * *

Luci's eyes opened again upon a pale light. She was still in this big, white room. She made to sit up, but she was so dizzy that she couldn't even lift herself. So she simply turned her head and looked around once more. To her left, her gaze fell on Harry. Her tummy gave a happy little leap, both because he was here and because this must mean that she was, indeed, still alive. He was sleeping, his head lulled against his chest. She watched him for a long time, wishing that she could spend her life gazing upon this boy, feeling his hands skimming over her body, talking to him late into the nights, experiencing this tripping of her heart in her chest…

Finally, ripping these thoughts from her head, she called his name.

Harry's eyes flickered open, and his vision seemed clouded, as though he thought he might be dreaming.

"Hi," said Luci.

And then he straightened up, beaming joyously. "Hi! How are you? How do you feel?"

"Drained," she joked.

His laughter made her stomach flip itself over again, but this was a small commotion compared to the one that she felt when he reached out and seized her hand.

When her body had adjusted, she inquired, "What'd you do to me?" with a stifled yawn.

She still wasn't sure of anything. She thought that he must have launched a cutting spell at her, the one he'd used on Draco last year, perhaps. It was the only logical explanation for all of the pain, all of the blood, and the fact that she'd survived.

Harry looked guilt-ridden when he answered, "It was… one of Snape's spells; I'm _so_ sorry, Luci."

She squeezed his hand lovingly. "Don't be. You did the only thing that you could, and it was the _right_ thing. And isn't it my fault that we were there in the first place?"

"You aren't the first one to fall for one of Voldemort's tricks."

She was far more guilt-ridden than he ever could have been, she was sure of it.

"I should have known."

"You couldn't have," he assured her, and he ran his fingers over hers, causing her skin to prickle with pleasure.

"I'm just glad you'd been paying attention," she smiled. "It was the day that I cut my hand, wasn't it?"

Harry nodded and then asked slowly, "What heals the wounds?"

She had no idea what healed them. And she wasn't ready to tell him how it had all started. So she simply answered, "I don't know."

He seemed to accept this and went on, "So… _can_ you die?"

"I can bleed to death," she replied, almost laughing at it, "which was news to me, actually. But, yeah, lots of things can do me in, the worst of them being lack of oxygen."

"The Chipretta," said Harry, as if a light bulb had gone off in his head.

She could only nod. He was so weary, his eyes so strained.

"You look older," she commented, and then, panicked, "Wait. How long have I been out?"

"Only a few days. I'm not older. Just… tired."

She shot up, realizing that she hadn't asked about him, and she spurted, "Are you okay?"

But she went weak with the effort, moaned, and fell back against the headboard of the bed.

"Relax; I'm fine," he said reproachfully.

Pulling her pillow up behind her back, Luci asked, "How is everyone else?" Then she coughed against the tickle in her throat. Perhaps her voice was fatigued from lack of use.

Harry hadn't answered, so she looked at him questioningly. A distance had appeared in his eyes, along with a heartbreaking remorse. She peered down at her hands. Something terrible had happened.

"And it's my fault."

She glanced back up at him. "Stop it! It's not your fault, dammit! Why won't you see that? The entire world isn't on your shoulders, Harry!"

"You saw what happened to Snape," he said, ignoring her tirade. "And they don't think that Mrs. Weasley will make it."

Her heart sank, mostly for Harry's sake.

"I'm sorry," she nearly whispered. After a long pause, she went on, "And my father?"

"I hear he's pretty mangled, but he'll live…" he answered, and then added cautiously, "as a werewolf."

After a moment of silent lament, however much her father didn't deserve it, Luci opened her eyes and replied, "Serves him right. Did everyone make it out alive then?"

Harry gave a small shake of his head. "Colin died. And–"

But he halted.

Something began to beat warningly against Luci's eyeballs, but she prompted, "Who?"

"Charlie."

And then there was an all-consuming wave of grief. _Charlie_. All she'd had. Who she adored. Gone.

"Oh, god… oh, god, not my Charlie…" she stifled, before she'd realized that she was speaking.

She was trying to prevent herself from shrieking in anguish, when Harry questioned, "Did you… were you two…?"

It distracted her slightly. She supposed he had the right to ask. But all she could manage at first was, "No… he… oh god…"

And then she remembered poor Bertha, and then…

"JoAnn!" she moaned. "Someone has to tell her that he's…"

"JoAnn?" asked Harry.

"His girlfriend," she answered weakly.

"But I thought…"

"We were _friends_," she corrected him. "He was the only person I could talk to about you."

Harry was silent for a moment before inquiring, "Did you mean it then?"

Luci looked at him curiously, trying to will away the pain.

"What you said in the Department of Mysteries."

Her lurking reservations resurfaced, and her chest tightened. She'd hoped that he would have forgotten, or perhaps that she hadn't said it in the first place. It was something she'd never _intended_ to say, after all. Humiliated, she covered her face. But what was done was done. So she removed her hands and nodded in response.

"But I said it because I thought that one or both of us might not survive. We still… can't."

"Why not?" hissed Harry crossly, inclining towards her.

She couldn't meet his eyes. Not this again. She didn't know if she'd be able to push him away this time, to run from the magic. She wanted him so badly…

"I don't understand why you're doing this," he said feebly.

"Doing what?" she asked innocently, staring at her knees, which she had pulled up to her chest in an effort to keep from feeling so damned vulnerable to him.

"Pushing me away," Harry answered, his tone poignant.

She finally brought her gaze back to his. What was _wrong_ with him? Why did he want anything to do with her? She wished so completely that she could be right for him. She wanted to be the girl who could make him happy. More than anything. But she would never be good enough.

"Don't you… don't you want… something… _better_?"

"What are you talking about?" he frowned.

"I don't deserve you, Harry."

And he finally had the honest truth, the reason _why_.

But instead of accepting it and moving on, he simply growled, "You're the most insecure person I know and with the least reason to be."

He didn't understand.

So she nodded, "Probably, but this isn't about me being insecure."

"What's it about then?"

"I need to be honest with you from now on," she started slowly, terrified, her palms sweating in her clenched fists. "So the truth is – and I really _don't_ know what heals the wounds – um… when I was thirteen, I slit my wrists."

He made a choking sound, but she had to finish.

"Instead of bleeding to death, like I intended to, I watched as the gashes just closed right up. I've been able to heal ever since. It's like some higher power doesn't trust me. So, you see, I don't deserve life and I don't deserve happiness and I certainly don't deserve you."

And now that he knew, he would agree. She was sure of it.

"I… I don't know what to say…"

His sentence trailed away, and he looked… kind of trampled. But he had needed to hear the truth about her, what a horrible, pathetic person she was.

"I get it," she said, relieving him of any obligation to react. "You've seen so much life lost that you can't be around someone who didn't value it at one point. I understand."

"No, you don't," he said, his voice raised but still calm. "I know what it's like not to want to live."

"You do?" she asked, bewildered.

"Of course!" exclaimed Harry. "My whole life, I've had nothing but burdens and pressures and obligations and… loss and pain and… I may never have thought of killing myself, but that's probably because there were always plenty of people willing to do it for me. But I've wished that I hadn't been born loads of times. Life isn't easy for me either."

For some reason, they just weren't communicating properly. She wasn't getting through.

"Yes," she agreed, "but Harry, I didn't try to kill myself because my _life_ wasn't easy! My life was fine! It was because my _head_ isn't easy!"

"Whose _is_?"

"I don't know," was her ineffectual answer. "Other people's."

He furrowed his brow at her. "Luci, if you think you're the only person who's ever hurt more than you can bear, you're very, very wrong."

"I know," she smiled softly, feeling almost disregarded, and on the other hand, feeling stupid and selfish and melodramatic. "But either way, I'm a mess."

He started, "Do you still…?" but ceased.

She knew instantly what he meant and responded, "No. And I don't think that I ever really did. I just wanted the pain to go away. But I know now that pain doesn't ever go away entirely. You just have to surround yourself with people who make it better."

"But you _don't_!" seethed Harry. "You push away the people who make it better."

Perhaps he was starting to figure her out after all, if only a little bit.

"Well, yes, because _I_ make it _worse_," she reeled on. "So it's for your–"

"Don't you _dare_ say it's for my own good!" he cut across her fervently. "_I_ decide what's good for me and what isn't! Okay, so you're… _frustrating_ sometimes, but you make me feel… _alive_."

_Oh, god_. He made her feel alive too! So alive… That was _it_! She was _alive_ when he was near…

He brushed his fingers through his hair, and it was so sexy that Luci could only manage breathlessly, "You're making this so _hard_."

"Then stop fighting it!"

She was about to continue her objections when he stood abruptly and threw himself upon her. And he was kissing her vehemently. And she was helpless. And once again, electricity surged through her, caressing every nerve, inflaming her senses, but this time, she couldn't bring herself to push him away. She put her palms to his face, wanting to be closer, more intimate.

"Get your hands off my sister, Potter!" came a furious shout.

And then it was over, and Draco was marching towards them, his wand pointed at Harry, who was backing away. But then he seemed to become aware of Luci being conscious, and he forgot his rage and came to her bed.

"You're awake!"

She grinned through her fog, trying to slow her rocketing heart. "Hello little brother."

He didn't seem to like being referred to in this way, but he returned her smile, crooning, "You saved my life."

She couldn't help but feel like sunshine was pouring in upon her from some gracious place.

"You were pretty brave yourself. Have you forgotten that you saved mine too?"

Draco smirked modestly, but then his mouth contorted in ire and he turned on Harry, raging, "You almost _killed_ her! What were you _thinking_?"

Harry stumbled backwards, stunned, throwing his hands up and muttering, "I… She…"

"Draco," coaxed Luci, and her brother adhered. "He knew it wouldn't kill me."

Draco's mouth fell open briefly, before he spouted, "That's impossible! He used that same spell on _me_! I was lucky Professor Snape was there or I might've been killed myself!"

"Harry would never hurt me," she assured him, and then she gave Harry a trusting, affectionate glance.

His eyes were still ablaze from that kiss, just as she imagined hers were, and the situation seemed to suddenly hit Draco in the chest.

His gaze darting between them, grasping it, her brother choked, "When I walked in… _What's going on_?"

Luci was about to attempt an explanation, but then another glorious event occurred.

"Luci! Oh, thank god!" cried her mother, rushing into the room.

"Mama!" she called ecstatically, beckoning.

"Why didn't you come and get me, boy?" her mother snapped at her brother, who shook his head powerlessly.

And then there were warm, safe, comfortable arms around her, and Luci felt like crying with elation. She had missed these arms more than she'd even realized, and she didn't ever want to be away from them again. It was as though there was no one else in the room, except for the two of them. And when they pulled apart, this was truly the case. Harry and Draco must have left at some point, though Luci hadn't noticed.

"I was so worried," her mother said, brushing Luci's hair from her face.

"I'm okay," she replied. "I'm so happy to see you…"

But she couldn't prevent it – the tears were falling.

Her mother laughed and said, "I missed you too. Are you ready to come home then?"

Something inside of Luci jolted unpleasantly.

"I don't know if… if I've finished what I came here to do," she answered hesitantly.

"Because Voldemort is still out there somewhere? Or because of Harry?"

Luci's eyebrows shot up. What had her mother found out during Luci's unconsciousness? She couldn't manage an answer, but her mother said, "I see."

"No," countered Luci abruptly. "Draco isn't safe yet. It's nothing to do with Harry."

Her mother's auburn hair shook, along with her head. "He told me everything."

"Eh-everything?"

"All that happened. At the Ministry. He felt so guilty for doing this to you, but he doesn't seem to realize that it saved your life. He really cares about you. I just thought that you might feel the same. Perhaps I jumped to conclusions."

Luci turned her eyes down, embarrassed, though she didn't know why. This was her _mother_, after all. The person to whom she could tell anything. Somehow, though, it felt like saying something aloud would make it all go away, whatever it was, whatever she did have with Harry.

"Luci, sweetheart, you're tired. Why don't you try to get some more rest? We can talk about Harry another time."

She met her mother's gaze and said calmly, "There's nothing to talk about."

Her mother gave her a knowing smile, responding, "The doctors should be told that you're awake."

"Healers," Luci corrected, and then, "Please don't go, Mama."

"You don't seem up to visitors."

"No, I am! It's just… weird… with Harry."

"Why?" asked her mother, moving from the bed to the chair in which Harry had been sitting.

"I dunno."

"It's a shame, really, all of these nice boys vying for your attention, and you never appear to have any interest."

Luci didn't respond, and her mother went on, "Though… it doesn't seem to be like it is with Josh."

"Oh, god, no, nothing like that," agreed Luci, too quickly.

It caused her mother to give her another significant look. "A mother knows her daughter. And I will give you as much time as you need, but you _can_ talk to me about this."

"I know," Luci sighed. "Just not ready, I guess."

Her mother stood. "Then rest. Things will be clearer when you're more alert."

"Maybe."

Melissa Keegan kissed her daughter's forehead, assured, "I'll be back in to check on you," and then left the room.

But Luci felt entirely incapable of sleeping any longer. She lay there on her back, staring at the plain white ceiling, attempting to cool her lips.

She thought that she had made that first kiss with Harry more than it really had been. She hadn't. If anything, the memory hadn't done it justice, because the second had been just as explosive. They really did have something amazing, something sacred, something that crackled between them, something that she wanted so badly to claim…

But she couldn't.

Harry deserved better. Even if she had to hurt both of them now, it would be worth it in the future. He would go back to Ginny, and she would go home, where she would remain alone, unable to damage anyone.

She would certainly miss Draco when she returned to Arizona. Perhaps they could visit one another often. When she came to Europe to see him, would she be able to see Fleur and Hermione too? And if she did, would Harry's best friend remind Luci of the love that she'd given up?

And then her thoughts turned to Charlie, who she wouldn't be able to visit, ever again. And she burst into tears of grief for him, because she would miss him immensely, and because he was so fantastic and his life was cut short. It was a loss for the entire world, but right now, she felt like she was the only one to know such suffering.


	38. Chapter ThirtyEight: Giving In

**Chapter Thirty-Eight – Giving In (corresponds with POTP chapter 26)**

When Luci awoke again, the night had fallen. Her mother was sitting in that chair, watching her.

"What are you staring at?" she asked sleepily.

"My beautiful daughter," her mother smiled, and then, "Feeling any better?"

Luci sat up, nodding. "A bit thirsty, but yeah, I think so."

"Would you like me to get you something?"

"Tea?" requested Luci.

"Oh, dear, you've gone British on me."

Luci laughed.

"I'll be back with tea then," said her mother.

"Thank you, Mama."

She picked up a book that someone had left at the foot of her bed - _Letting Go Of Your Heart._

_Subtle, Mama_, she thought, but she opened the cover anyway. And she hadn't been reading long before Harry strolled into the room.

He began immediately, barely giving her pulse time to return to regular rhythm.

"So, have you come to your senses yet?" he asked, parking himself in the chair.

She looked into his eyes, and she felt warm and giddy, but she answered, "Have _you_ come to _yours_?"

"I don't need to come to mine," he said firmly.

"Neither do I."

She put the book on the bed, careful to hide the title. Then she crossed her arms, a gesture that she knew would probably give away her fear of vulnerability.

Harry didn't care if she was scared. He was determined.

"Do you expect me to believe that you don't want this? You kissed me _back_ – _twice_!"

"Well, how could I _not_?" she answered, flustered that there was no use denying it. "There's this unbelievable current that ignites between us every time we touch."

"I _know_," he huffed, "so why are you throwing it away?"

"I'm not… throwing it away," sighed Luci. "It's just… a little back and forth lately."

His expression went from frustrated to baffled.

"I'm fighting with myself," she clarified.

"I fought with myself too!" he retorted. "But I'm done with it. So why don't you stop, as well, and we can get to the good part?"

He smiled, and she tried to control her racing heart, arguing, "I'm trying to protect you."

"_Protect_ me?" he snapped.

"I'm afraid, Harry!"

She was losing all self-control. He was under her skin, and she'd never been unable to push someone away… It was terrifying.

"Of _what_?" he demanded.

She took a slow, deep breath. "Of… you finding out how hard it is to be with me and… you leave… and we both get hurt."

"I'm not your father," he said softly.

And Luci was so stunned by this that she couldn't speak. It was impossible for him to know her this well… wasn't it? He could see the dark, yawning hole inside of her. And he was still here. She didn't understand.

"Just because he left doesn't mean that everyone else will too," Harry continued.

Then she felt some kind of internal detonation, and she began to cry violently. Disgraced, she shielded her face with her hands, fighting to keep the dark shadows of her past from smothering her. But she was so tired from the fighting, and it had all been to no avail. Harry knew her well, and somehow, they had truly become a part of one another.

"Eventually," she choked, "you start to think that he didn't want you, so why would anyone else?"

"But it's not true, Luci."

His voice was so gentle, and she wanted nothing more than for him to put his arms around her…

"I know that, logically," she explained through a sob, "but a part of me will always be broken, and you deserve more than that."

"You think I'm not broken?" asked Harry, sounding affronted.

"It's… different."

"Yeah, it's worse for me," he snipped.

And then she uncovered her face, gaping at him. For a moment, she, too, felt affronted, and he seemed to notice, but she carried on before he could speak.

"No, you're right. But Harry, I've done so much damage. I've pushed you away and I've lied and half-lied and hurt you and I just don't see how you could possibly have any feelings for me. How can you _trust_ me? How can you even stand the _sight_ of me?"

It was all coming out now. All of her reasons, all of her fears. She didn't know what he'd do with everything. She tugged up on her sheet and wiped her eyes. She must look hideous.

"You always had good intentions," Harry was saying. "_That's_ how I can trust you. And you only _tried_ to push me away; it never worked."

She smiled at this. "Apparently not."

Grinning too, he went on, "Look, I may be broken, but you make me feel like I can keep going anyway."

Awe and gratitude went coursing warmly through her body.

"And I forgive you. For all of it. I understand why you did most of those things."

"Wow, Harry, I…"

But then she registered the last bit. "_Most_ of them?"

"You pretended for ages that you didn't give a damn about me. I put myself out there, and you threw it back in my face."

Shame flooded out everything else.

"Mmm," she answered, preparing herself for more exposure. "I shouldn't have. But it was all I could think to do at the time. It was… a lot of things… my pride, my fear. Trying to protect you from… me. And I didn't _want_ to care about you, because I thought that you belonged to Ginny, and because I knew you'd distract me from taking care of my brother, and–"

"Wait, why did you think that I _belonged_ to Ginny?" he cut in.

"She staked her claim on you pretty unmistakably."

Harry gave her a perplexed glance.

"She threw one of those flying ball thingies at me!" exclaimed Luci, thinking that this should have been obvious to him. She remembered the fire in Ginny's eyes very clearly.

"She didn't do that!"

Luci smiled in comprehension at his faith in Ginny, though secretly resenting it.

"Don't hold it against her. Any other girl would have done the same thing, and I don't blame her one bit."

He looked thunderstruck, so she added, "It's totally understandable. She loves you and she–"

"Stop."

And she did, her mouth open.

"Don't worry about Ginny. She's seeing Neville now, so there's nothing in the way of us being together except _you_."

Luci's entire core relaxed upon hearing this.

But then she reminded herself that it didn't change anything and protested, "And the fact that we're wrong for one another."

"_What_?" he exclaimed.

"It's true," she plowed on. "You and my brother hate each other, we're from entirely different countries and backgrounds, and… and…"

Her stream of words hit an impenetrable barrier. There had been more reasons at some point, but they eluded her now… So she simply ended with a feeble, "And I'm too old for you!"

Harry got to his feet, feverish.

"That's rubbish, and you know it! We're loads alike! We're both full of guilt and self-doubt, and we're… driven by love! I understand you, even if you think that I don't, and you understand me in a way that no one else ever has before!"

Her heart jumped for joy, and she reprimanded it. But he was _right_. Standing there with his determined expression and his careless hair and his fidgeting hands. He was _right_.

And he kept going, "When I'm angry or uncertain or whatever, you always say the right thing; it's like you can see right into me! So you keep spouting off this stuff, but you're just doing it to convince me to leave you alone, and it's not gonna work, Luci, because I _love_ you!"

And then her heart ceased its jumping, stopping dead. Her stomach took over, writhing blissfully, and she clutched it.

It took her a second to replay his words.

_I love you_.

It echoed in her head. She could feel heat and desire and wonder painting her cheeks red.

But he hadn't said anything more.

"I thought…" she broke the silence quietly. "I thought Voldemort was just screwing with me. Do you… do you _really_?"

He sighed exasperatedly. "Isn't it obvious?"

_Had_ it been obvious? She found herself unable to speak, and Harry had begun to pace at the foot of the bed. Was he as emotionally aflame as she was? Was his heart racing too, his stomach dancing?

_It doesn't matter_, she berated herself. Even if he loved her, it didn't change the fact that she was a disaster, and that he should have better, saner, prettier… taller, even.

And she knew that she was going to have to attempt this again. The idea of pushing him away once more was bringing new tears forward.

But she finally said, "Sometimes, your head has to rule your heart. And my reasons are all valid."

Harry erupted, snarling, "I say something like _that_ to you and you just…"

But he stopped and made a low, harsh sound before concluding, "I don't care about any of your _reasons_! We can get past all of that! I've gotten past much worse, believe me!"

She was sinking into that dark place that she knew so well. They loved each other. And she was throwing it away, just like he'd accused her of doing. But what else was she supposed to do? He was happy before she came along, with Ginny, and he could have that back, if she forced him away. It was up to her. But he was so unwavering…

"You know, you're saying these amazing things… It's kind of making my head spin."

"You think _my_ head's not spinning? This is the strangest conversation I've ever had!" he roared.

She had been feeling as though she had chills, but now she realized that she was shaking. And even though there were a million things to be said, she simply asked, "Meaning?"

He growled. "All I know is that I want to be with you and you're making it so bloody hard, and it doesn't have to be! Just… just let me in!"

He was _fighting_ for her. And despite herself, she felt all of her barricades come tumbling down around her.

"Harry… I _do_ want this. I want you, and _us_. I just… I think you deserve better than me, and it'd be selfish to let this happen."

"Is _that_ what this is about?" questioned Harry, his eyes wide. "You feeling unworthy of love?"

_Yes. And a million others things._

"But we'd be _brilliant_ together!" he argued. "I don't get why you're so down on yourself, when there's just no logical reason… And do you think _I'm_ worthy of love?"

"Of course, I do," answered Luci, frowning. Where was he going with this?

"Okay, well, I choose _you_. So there."

He smirked, and she couldn't help but beam at his persistence.

"You really aren't gonna give up, are you?"

"Not a chance."

And then her mother's voice yelled, "Luci Jordana Keegan!" and she was stomping reproachfully into the room, and Luci was mortified. What disastrous timing.

"Not now, Mama," she said, gritting her teeth and looking ruefully up at Harry.

But Melissa Keegan wasn't listening.

"Harry, can I have a moment with my daughter, please?"

"I'll wait," he nodded. "We're not finished."

Then, after throwing a stubborn glance at Luci, he was gone.

And her mother was scolding, "What's going on in here? I heard raised voices."

Luci averted her eyes. "It's nothing. Just a little argument."

"The doctors said that you shouldn't have any stress, you remember?"

Nodding, Luci said, "It's not a big deal."

"What kind of argument?" her mother regressed. "The same one you've been having with Josh for years?"

"I told you, Mama, it's not like that."

"No, it isn't," agreed her mother. "The difference is that you _love_ Harry."

Luci's mouth fell open, and she looked incredulously at her mother.

"And _I_ told _you_, a mother knows these things," she smiled, "so if you love him, why are you trying to get rid of him?"

"I… have my reasons."

"Young lady, you stop pushing that boy away or you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"Mama, I still don't wanna talk about this."

Her mother sighed. "Don't throw away something just because you're afraid of being hurt! This is _love_! Do you know how rare it is? You have to seize it!"

Luci put her hands to her temples. The Healers were right about too much stress after being in a coma for innumerable days.

"He does feel the same, doesn't he?" asked her mother, cautiously.

And Luci's face erupted into a grin, remembering his declaration.

"And of course he would! Why wouldn't he? So what's the problem?"

Her eyes full of tears again, this time the good kind, Luci answered, "I can't think of what the problem was anymore…"

"Good!" exclaimed her mother. "So stop fighting the boy and just let yourself be happy for once!"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes," responded Luci. "I give up. You and Harry are a relentless team."

"So what now?"

Luci giggled in excitement. "I don't know! I… Oh my god, I don't know. Something. Something… with _him_."

"I'll send him back in then," her mother beamed before scurrying from the room.

And a moment later, Harry was fuming, "All right, Luci, I don't have the energy to keep at this, but I can't, in good conscience, give up on us just because you're scared. So I'll go round with you again later, but I'm not letting this go. We belong together and you know it."

She _did_ know it, all of the sudden, so when he went for the door again, she called, "Harry, wait!"

He turned, and she was filled with a wonderful sense of anticipation for a future with him. If he'd have her.

"Come here," she said softly.

She'd put him in a foul mood. He trudged reluctantly back to his chair.

"No, no," she said, gesturing to the bed, "come _here._"

His expression changed, anxious, but he did come to the bed, sitting beside her.

Luci reached for his hands. "I hope this is okay. I wanna be near you."

Harry still looked uneasy, but he said, "Me too."

It was fantastic. She couldn't remember ever making anyone nervous before. She liked it, even though she knew that he had no reason to be. His battle was won.

"Listen… You're right, Harry, I can't keep living in fear. Or _not_ living, as it were. I have to give this a chance."

He frowned. "What did your mother say to you that I didn't say?"

Luci almost laughed, but went on, feeling better able to express herself than ever.

"Forgive me for trying to get rid of you. I was just getting to the point in my life where I was learning to accept that I'll never be the girl whose dreams come true. And now you're shaking my foundation, do you see? I'm not used to good things and I keep thinking it's all going to be ripped out from under me, and that maybe losing you would hurt more than never having you at all."

They were difficult things to say, and she couldn't believe how well she'd articulated her reservations. But she was feeling liberated. He knew everything now, and he wanted her anyway, and she wanted him, and there was nothing to hide anymore. She could confess to him without restraint now.

Harry was about to add something, but she had to continue quickly, before she lost this nerve, though she hoped that she never would.

"When I met you, something… shifted… inside of me."

She was entirely exposed, her cheeks hot, but it kind of felt… okay.

"I don't know, it was just… passion and desire and… admiration, because you… you're… _phenomenal_… But… all of it terrified me, because I was hiding so much from you, and I just knew that there was no hope for anything between us, and because I _am_ afraid of being abandoned."

She had to stop for a moment, gather her scattered thoughts. So she moved her gaze to his hands, such beautiful hands, before she finished, "But I'm not going to let anything keep me from you. Not anymore. I will… get over all of this… _stuff_."

"Well, good, because I'm not going anywhere. I just… I want us to be together."

Her eyes flicked to his face, and she still could hardly believe it.

"Really? Even after all I've put you through?"

Harry nodded.

"Are you sure? I'm never going to be easy to deal with."

It was her last disclaimer. She was defenseless now.

With a grin, he replied, "I don't care. I'm not the easiest person to go out with either, you know."

And Luci was giving in. For good.

"Okay, then."

"Okay, what?"

She took a deep breath. "If you want me, I'm yours."

"I _do_ want you. Badly, actually."

His words ignited her desire to the point that she could no longer stand their lips not touching. She leaned forward eagerly and pressed her mouth to his. Her body rushed into vibrancy, as if a storm was upon her. She ran her fingers along his entire arm, the arm he was using to brace himself on the bed. His skin responded, and butterflies shimmied in her stomach. She almost instinctively pulled his body on top of hers, but she caught herself and broke the kiss.

"Sorry," she breathed.

"No."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I mean, don't be sorry," he panted.

"Oh."

And then they just sat there in silence for a while, looking at one another, still so close that Luci could scarcely draw breath. She was in a state of daze, experiencing such an array of emotion.

"Thank you," she started eventually.

But he only shook his head, still looking at her like that, like she was… _visible_.

"For putting up with me. I know that I'm… a handful, and I'm so sorry for making you fight so hard."

She really was. She'd made it so fucking difficult on him, only to lose the fight and give in to him anyway. It would have been easier to just kiss him the day she'd met him. She'd wanted to anyway.

"Oh, god, it was all worth it, believe me," smiled Harry, and she laughed rapturously.

"So we're gonna do this then?" she asked in wonderment.

"If you're up for it."

"Oh, yes. But Draco's not going to like this."

"Fantastic," he chimed. "That's the best part!"

Luci gave him a stern smile, and he responded, "I'm joking, but it's definitely a bonus."

"You two are going to drive me crazy, aren't you?"

"I thought I already did?"

She knew she'd gone bright red. "Well, yes, obviously."

"Hermione says you've been crazy about me for ages," Harry commented casually.

And Luci thought she'd die of embarrassment. "Oh, she does, does she?"

"Is it true?"

"It's _mortifying_…" she admitted after a long pause, "but, yeah, I guess it's been ages. Since sometime in the fall. How long for you?"

"I'm not sure. I fought it so hard that I can't tell when it really began."

Luci knew she'd been alone in her feelings for a very long time. But at least she wasn't alone anymore.

"We know why _I_ fought it, but why did _you_?"

"Ginny was a big part of it," he answered slowly. "I didn't wanna hurt her. And I wasn't sure if I could trust you."

It stung to hear it, but it made perfect sense.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's understandable," she replied. "Don't apologize for being vigilant. You had every right."

And then he put his palm to her cheek, and his skin was cold, compared to her blushing. But the contact was glorious and she couldn't help but close her eyes and release a delighted sigh.

"It _has_ been ages for me too."

At this, her eyes snapped open. "What took us so long?"

He gave her a little smile. "I believe your words were, 'So damn stubborn.'"

"Oh, right. Well, do tell Hermione that I'm mad at her for giving away my secrets."

And then, unexpectedly, Harry furrowed his brow, dropping his hand from her face. She missed it instantly.

"So I have a question."

"Oh," she muttered, surprised. "Okay, shoot."

"In the Ministry, when you pulled that Death Eater off of me…" He stopped but then went on carefully, "You were so mad that I didn't recognize you."

Luci felt ashamed of her behavior, though she barely remembered it.

"I told you that I know about anger. I understand you so well because _I'm_ torrentially angry too. In that room, I just… lost control…" she tried to explain. "It was like… He was hurting you and I had to make him pay. Things just sort of went black and next thing I know, you were shaking me."

"But it was illegal magic," Harry pointed out. "Won't you lose your license?"

She'd already considered this.

"Probably. Haven't heard from them yet but I'm expecting the worst, especially when they find out that I've been seducing a Hogwarts student," she said playfully.

But he frowned. "I'm sorry I got you into this."

"Hey, I'm glad to be in this with you," she assured him. "And _I'm_ the one who performed that spell, and I'd do it again. If anyone comes near you, I won't hesitate. Ever. I will do _anything_ to protect my own. You, my mother, Draco, my friends. I'd kill for you, and I wouldn't have any regrets."

Harry looked stunned. And she knew that her inclination towards violence was indefensible, but it was part of who she was, and she tried to tell him this.

"That's where we're different, I guess. You don't think you're capable of killing, and I _know_ that I am. It takes something… that I can't describe… But even if you don't have it, you won't need it now, right? Let someone else take care of Voldemort."

And suddenly, he looked exhausted.

"There's something I haven't told you."

"Oi, the secrets!" she said, trying to get his smile back, because it would chase away the dread that had just engulfed her.

"Seriously," he responded, his tone grave.

Her chest tightened. "Okay?"

"_I_ have to kill Voldemort."

"Why? I don't understand why it has to be you. Just because he marked you all those years ago doesn't mean–"

"The Prophecy," he cut in. "There's a second part that isn't general knowledge. It says 'either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.' I _am_ the one he marked, so either I kill him or he kills me. No one else can take my place."

_Harry Potter is not merely The Boy Who Lived. He is also the only match for Lord Voldemort._

Dumbledore's words echoed in her head, and her sense of foreboding increased. So this was how it was going to be. Fate was going to give her Harry and then take him away before she could even get used to the happiness.

"But…" she choked, "it's just a silly prophecy, right? It doesn't _have_ to happen that way?"

"It _didn't_ have to," he said, clutching her hands, "but Voldemort set everything into motion, and now I have no choice but to play my part in it."

The inside of her nose began to sting. God, could she get through five minutes without crying?

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I had no idea that you'd ever need to be told."

And then she was angry with him, for breaking down her walls and then threatening to die on her. She tore their hands apart.

"So you work this hard to get me to give in to you and then you tell me that you're going on a suicide mission?"

"So _you_ think it's a suicide mission?" He sounded hurt.

She grasped her aching head remorsefully. "No, I didn't mean that. I _know_ you can defeat him, Harry, but I just… When are you going?"

"I'm not sure," he said softly. "I was waiting for you to wake up, so I guess I can go anytime now."

"Alone?"

Harry nodded. "Too many people have suffered. I need to face him on my own."

Luci wanted to strangle him for doing this to her, but she'd done it to herself too. A fight to the death with Voldemort. And she knew how gifted Harry was, but against the darkest wizard of their time…?

"The old man with the sword," he sliced into her thoughts. "Who was he?"

Looking at him again, annoyed with him for changing the subject, she answered, "A Death Eater who had been waiting a long time to betray Voldemort. His name is Craig Cambias."

"So you were in on it?" he asked. "Snape destroying the last Horcrux?"

She nodded, but it wasn't what had happened, so she clarified, "Sort of. I knew that Severus and Craig both wanted Voldemort dead, so when I saw the sword, I went over to offer assistance, basically. I wanted it over and done. So Craig asked me to duel with him as a cover while Severus took care of the snake."

"How did Snape know about the Horcruxes?"

With apprehension, she noticed that Harry was gritting his teeth.

"_Craig knew about them," she started carefully. "Somehow. So when the two of them figured out that they were both on the same side, it all kind of worked itself out. I brought it up to Severus, but he had already suspected anyway, so it was just confirmation. And then he must have guessed at the snake…"_

"So you told Snape everything that I told you in confidence?" snapped Harry.

"Not everything," was her shabby answer. "Just enough to help."

"Is this always your method of doing the right thing?"

She shut her eyes, feeling awkward. "I'm afraid I may continually disappoint you."

He sighed. "I'm not disappointed. But in the future, could you just run these things by me? You didn't let me in on any of it, and it would have been helpful to know."

"You were determined to hate Severus," she argued. "I would have _never_ been able to convince you that he was on our side."

"All right, good point," agreed Harry with a deeper sigh this time. "But in the future?"

She nodded. "I won't be keeping anything from you ever again. I've learned my lesson."

Lying had never been an option for her, until this situation had come along. She wanted to avoid it at all costs from here on out. Besides, there was obviously no point trying to evade Harry.

And he grinned at her words, and she allowed her nerves to unwind. She yawned.

"After four days of sleeping, you're still tired?" asked Harry jovially.

"Well, someone cut me into pieces," she jabbed back.

"Still sorry about that."

"Still not."

"Hey, where's the Professor's Pass?" he asked abruptly.

"On the floor in my room at your place," she replied, and then demurely, "I was so… shattered after that soul-shaking kiss, I just left everything where I'd dropped it. Why?"

She saw his eyes glitter at her comment, but he simply answered, "Hermione needs to go to Hogwarts for some research."

"Well," she said with a tilt of her head, "Severus won't be needing it back, so it's yours if you want it."

"It was Snape's?" he queried with a frown.

"See, he wasn't such a bad guy. What's Hermione researching?"

"That veil in the Department of Mysteries - the Veil of Voices, apparently - we need to find out how to get Sirius out of it."

"Yikes," she said, not looking forward to another Trio Adventure. "Sounds like mission impossible, but the three of you seem to find your way around and through anything, so I'm sure you'll do exactly that."

And at this, Harry stood from the bed, and Luci became overwhelming cold.

"I _have_ been known to get what I want," he teased.

"Don't push your luck," she smiled back, and knowing that he was leaving, she pleaded, "And please don't go after Voldemort without telling me first."

"I won't."

"Hey, where have you been sleeping?"

She wondered if he'd been going back to Grimmauld Place each night, but he gestured to the chair to her left.

"You're kidding," she stammered.

"Nope."

And then her body was warm again with adoration, and she said, "Wow, Harry, it really _is_ obvious."

He laughed and replied, "Yeah, well," and she wanted so desperately to pull him into the bed with her…

Instead, she inquired, "So where shall you sleep tonight?"

"No time for that. We're going to be up all night at Hogwarts."

"You and Ron and Hermione?"

"Yes, but you rest, and I'll be right back in my chair tomorrow."

She loved him almost more than she could bear.

"You'd better be."

Then he bent over the bed and kissed her once more, and she spiraled into ecstasy, but before she could get too far-gone, he pulled away, saying tenderly, "I _will_ be."

"Don't stop," she swooned.

With a chuckle, he breathed, "Don't tempt me."

"But I will!" she said. "I'll tempt you! Just… stay."

He was beaming. "We'd get caught by your mum. Or worse, that prat brother of yours."

"Who cares?" she cried.

"We both do," he answered, and then, "so I have to make myself leave, as badly as I don't want to."

"Fine," she grumbled, "see if you get any more snogging."

"Oh, I _will_," was his playful reply, and then he practically ran from the room.

And Luci realized that she was in a cold sweat and giggled aloud at herself.

Drowsiness snuck in on her after a long while of reliving his kiss over and over again in her deliriously happy little head…


	39. Chapter ThirtyNine: Him or Me

**Chapter Thirty-Nine – Him or Me (corresponds with POTP chapter 27)**

The next morning, Luci was able to shower and dress in clean clothes, and it was sensational. Her wand close to her chest again, her skin refreshed, her heart aglow.

She'd never been so happy.

Presently, she was sitting up in bed, thumbing through _Letting Go of Your Heart. _It was a strange book. It was tremendous if you read it at night, but it somehow lost its luster in the clarity of day. This was true of most books, she'd found. This particular tome was probably useless, now that she had let go of her heart anyway, but she was skimming an especially interesting chapter about opening yourself up to the energies of other people.

A voice called her name, and she looked up to see none other than Craig Cambias. She put the book down in her lap, her finger marking the page. She didn't know what to expect.

"Mr. Cambias, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

He was lingering in the doorway, hesitant.

"Craig," he corrected her with a kind smile.

"Craig," repeated Luci.

"I wanted to check on you, and to apologize for disappearing after your… accident. I had some things to attend to."

She gave him a welcoming gesture.

"No apology necessary. Please come in."

The older gentlemen entered the room, but he kept a distance from her bed. She supposed they didn't know each other very well, after all.

"In brighter news," he went on, after clearing his throat, "I am fairly certain that all of the Horcruxes have been located. The Dark Lord is, indeed, mortal. And I owe you the debt for that."

"You owe me no such thing," she protested, though she did very much appreciate his gratitude. "Harry did it all. And Albus Dumbledore. All I did was inform you and Severus."

Promptly, there was a small pang of grief that ricocheted between the two of them.

"It is a sad loss, our friend, Severus," said Craig, hanging his head. "I can only hope that he was content to die in defense of our world."

"Me too," she agreed sadly.

It had been a terrible shame, and she still felt somewhat responsible, because everything that had happened at the Ministry had been because of her.

"But you are well?"

"Yes," she grinned up at him, recalling her own good fortune, despite recent events. "Very well. A little tired, but I'm told I'll be back on my feet soon."

"Pleasing news," he cheered, returning her expression.

"And… the Dark Lord?" questioned Luci tentatively. "Any idea what's become of him?"

She saw a flash of something in his eyes, possibly anger, before he responded, "He has gone into hiding. I am sure that we will be hearing from him again."

Sighing at this, she concurred, "I'm afraid you're probably right. What to do in the mean time?"

"Keep safe the ones we love."

And considering what the one she loved was up to at the moment, she inquired of the man before her, "Craig… have you ever heard of the Veil of Voices?"

He frowned. "The one in the Department of Mysteries?"

"Yes!" she said, heartened. "Do you know anything about it?"

He shook his white-haired head and began slowly, "It is… a form of storage for souls."

"Storage?"

"Yes. It has been used for many things over the years." He paused thoughtfully. "But now, it is simply a place where the Ministry keeps lost spirits."

"Of the dead?" she asked, fearing that this might mean that Sirius was beyond rescue.

"Not necessarily," he replied, and she felt a small twinge of encouragement.

"So… how might one go about getting someone out of it?"

Craig raised his eyebrows. "I would suggest against it."

"Does that mean it's possible?" continued Luci hopefully.

"It's… possible," he admitted. "But not recommended. Often, they are not able to return to a normal life after their experience in the Veil."

"So it has been done?"

"Of course."

"How?"

He gave her a frustrated grimace.

"Please?" Luci pleaded. "I'm… keeping safe the ones I love."

"Very well," sighed Craig, after a long pause. "You will have to propose a trade. Another person will have to sacrifice their own soul."

"Oh," she breathed, demoralized.

He went on, "And the Veil is unlikely to accept the new soul, unless it is more tortured than the one you are freeing."

"Tortured? In what way?"

"Souls who are likely to be in purgatory, people who suffered greatly in life, or caused great suffering to others, or perhaps, those who have unfinished business."

"Dead or alive?" queried Luci, though she'd grown discouraged upon hearing all of this.

"It makes no difference."

Someone cleared their throat, and she and Craig both looked up to see Draco.

Warmth flooded Luci, and she was thrilled to see him.

"Hi Drake, come on in."

"Yeah. Um. I need to talk to you," stuttered her brother.

Craig turned to her in farewell. "I am very happy to see that you are in good health. Please take care of yourself, and if I can ever be of any assistance to you, do not hesitate to let me know."

"Likewise," she smiled sincerely. "Thank you, Craig. For everything."

He nodded and stepped towards the door, but didn't leaving until he had added, "Draco, I am very sorry about your father."

"Thanks," said her brother hoarsely, his eyes on the floor.

Then, Craig was gone, and Luci asked Draco, "Have you visited him yet? Our father?"

"Yes," he snapped, looking up at her, "but we're not going to talk about that right now."

He was here to confront her about Harry. Her stomach filled with dread.

"I just thought maybe you'd been with him," she stalled. "I missed you and wondered when you'd come to see me."

"I had to stay away. I needed… space."

"Because of Harry?"

Draco made a noise like he might vomit.

But Luci just watched him expectantly. She didn't want to say anything until she was sure of the extent of his awareness, and more importantly, the extent of his fury.

He was looking flustered and awkward, and he finally choked, "Do you… He told me he…"

"What?" she prompted.

"He said he… _loved_ you."

Her mouth fell open. When had he and Harry had such a candid conversation? And had it ended in their usual violence?

"He told you that?" questioned Luci cautiously.

"Yeah," Draco confirmed, his voice quiet. "He said you, um, felt the same?"

She drew her mouth into a thin line. This was going to be rough. She knew it, even before he exploded on her.

"_Please_ tell me you don't, Luce!" he seethed suddenly.

"I…"

"Holy fucking shit," he swore angrily. "Please, Luci! Just tell me it's not true!"

"Draco…"

He stood, seized the book that had still been in her hands, and hurled it across the room. It hit the wall with a thump and fell open onto the floor.

"Why? HOW?" reeled her brother, and she saw no rationale in his face.

"Sit down," she told him, as calmly as she could manage.

"NO! Fuck off!"

He sucked in a shallow breath, trying to compose himself too, but then gave up and spewed, "POTTER?"

"I'm sorry," she began weakly, having no idea what to say. "I don't know how to explain. It just happened…"

"It just… _happened_?" he yelled, incredulous.

Luci nodded.

"HOW?" raged Draco. "_How_ did it happen? You never even spoke to each other! And you… you're a Malfoy! We hate him! We hate him with every ounce of blood in our veins! And you…"

He stopped and faced her, his hands open powerlessly.

"Love him," she finished his sentence, after a moment. "With every ounce of blood in my veins."

"Luci!" he screeched. "No, you don't! That's _mad_! You don't even _know_ him! If you knew him, you'd hate him too, I swear you would! He's egotistical and smug and cruel and–"

"Draco."

Her brother hissed but met her gaze. The pain she saw in his eyes put her own to shame. But she had to try to make him understand.

"While I spent all of that time teaching you during the day, I was teaching Harry at night."

"What?" he frowned, and then he sat down in that chair, exhausted, crushed.

"In the drawing room," rendered Luci gently. "Many, many nights. We know each other very well."

She was speaking evenly, hoping that he would follow her example and control his outbursts. It seemed to be working, as he was merely staring at her, his expression unreadable.

After a long silence, he spoke, but his voice was completely dead.

"Have you ever said a single thing to me that was true?"

Something inside of her cracked open, leaking heartache all over her newfound happiness. No, she couldn't have it all.

Clenching her jaw, she replied, as coolly as was possible, "There were some things that I was forced to hide from you, but by no means did I hide everything."

He was still looking at her with something like disgust and fired, "Are you a compulsive liar or something?"

"No, of course not!" she answered heatedly, and then pulled herself back together. "I just… I lie when the truth could hurt someone. It just seems like… that's… often been the case, since I got here."

Draco nodded stoically.

"You know that I have problems with trust, and you know that I hate Potter. Yet, you expect me to just be okay with all of these lies and with… with you and… _him_?"

"Not right away, no," Luci said slowly. "But… maybe in time, you'll forgive me, and you'll… get used to Harry being around?"

Her brother squared his shoulders and looked her in the face.

"Him or me."

She'd known it was coming, but nonetheless, the words sliced through her like steel.

"No ultimatums," she returned shakily, willing away the sting. "I won't choose between you. He didn't make me do it, and neither should you. You're my _brother_, Draco, and I love you. I want you in my life. Can you be… big enough to accept it if I'm dating Harry?"

"No."

His eyes were cold, but she beseeched, "Please?"

"No," he insisted firmly. "I will help you get anyone you want. Just… not him."

Luci sighed. "He's the one I want. But… I need you too."

Draco's jaw was twitching in vexation.

"I mean… what if the two of you just avoid crossing paths? And I don't talk to you about him?"

"That sounds like a wonderful compromise," came Melissa Keegan's voice.

Draco went white, gave Luci a discomfited frown, staggered to his feet, and sped from the room.

"He doesn't like me," commented her mother, coming over and taking his seat.

"You slept with his father," Luci pointed out good-naturedly, "while being a dirty Muggle."

"Mmm" she nodded. "I suppose it makes sense, when you say it like that."

"Bad timing, Mama."

"It was perfect timing. That boy couldn't take it any longer. He'll be back when he's ready."

Luci took a heavy breath. "I don't know what to do. He wants me to choose."

"Did Harry want you to choose?"

"No. I think he was working so hard to break my resolve that Draco never crossed his mind. He'll probably get to thinking about it eventually and realize that he can't handle it any better than Draco can."

Her mother smiled. "And did he? Break your resolve?"

Luci nodded, trying to keep from grinning like an idiot.

"Oh, baby, that's so good to hear," cooed her mother.

"It's… _insane_, though, isn't it?" asked Luci. "I mean, we wanna be together. But there's Draco and… other things… I guess it means that I'm not coming home any time soon?"

"I was preparing for that," said her mother collectedly. "We should discuss your options. There are a lot of people who will miss you, of course."

At this moment, a thin, blonde woman in a blue skirt suit entered the room, without knocking. She focused her interest directly on Luci before querying brusquely, "Are you Luci Jordana Keegan?"

Luci narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Who wants to know?"

"Rita Skeeter. Journalist. Can I ask you some questions?"

The woman had already approached the bed when Luci's mother answered, "No, you cannot."

But the reporter ignored this reply, retrieving a large quill and a piece of parchment.

"Inquiring minds want to know," she piped enthusiastically. "Miss Keegan has been involved in some very important events. It is simply my duty to record them."

"So record them," said her mother. "You don't need an interview."

"No," chirped Rita Skeeter, "but they are nice to have. Besides, you would want to have your story correctly portrayed, wouldn't you?"

She shot an appraising look at Luci, who replied, "Of course, but–"

"Very well, then."

The woman gestured to her quill, which began to write something down.

"No, but–" attempted Luci, before being thwarted.

"I understand that you're Harry Potter's girlfriend of the hour, is that correct?"

"I don't… know about _that_…" What the hell did that _mean_? "Of the _hour_?"

But Rita went on, "And the daughter of a confirmed Death Eater, yes?"

Her mother cut in. "Ma'am, she needs her rest. Can you do this another time?"

The reporter merely gave her a quick glance before asking, "Is it not true that Mr. Potter has trampled hordes of hearts just to be with you?"

Luci frowned, astounded. "No, I–"

"Then you'd say that the two of you are exclusive?" she injected.

"Yes, we are."

Luci's heart leapt and she looked up to see Harry coming towards them. He had made it official. She couldn't help but beam ecstatically.

Rita Skeeter, however, looked suddenly disheveled.

"Sorry to interrupt," Harry apologized, though Luci knew that he didn't mean it at all.

The reporter had composed herself and chimed, "Let the record state that Harry Potter has confirmed his relationship with a Miss Luci Keegan, daughter of Lucius Malfoy."

The quill scratched this onto the parchment.

"You aren't interrupting," Luci said to Harry. "Exclusive, eh?"

"Well, I should hope so," her mother said. "The boy wouldn't leave your side while you were out."

Luci almost swooned at this, but Rita barged in with, "He meets the future mother-in-law…"

"Get out!" seethed Harry abruptly.

"Freedom of the press."

"Or we can have you thrown out," her mother added.

The reporter glared at them both, but turned to Luci and said cordially, "Miss Keegan, I will be back to continue this interview. The public has a right to know about the private life of their hero!"

"Hero?" Harry questioned, but Rita hadn't seemed to hear him. She was, however, and much to Luci's relief, leaving the room.

"How does she even _know_ any of these things?" Luci asked.

Harry shook his head. "Don't worry about her. She's dreadful but harmless."

"That's not what I understand. I hear the woman is toxic. And of _course_ you're a hero! All you've done - saving my daughter's life, scaring off the Dark Lord."

At this, Harry gaped at Luci's mother, who concluded, "I'll leave you two alone," and exited quickly.

"Your mum is mental!" he cried. "I almost killed you!"

Luci smiled faintly. "She and I don't see it that way. Voldemort was going to kill me, there's no doubt about it, so you moving first saved my life. And you were paying enough attention to know that you couldn't really hurt me with that curse. I'm just grateful that you had such a crush on me."

She had only been teasing him, but he countered softly, "It's not a crush."

"Oh? I'm not just the girl of the hour, then?"

She had almost been afraid that he'd tell her that he actually _was_ very fickle and would like to try someone new now.

Instead, he sat down on the bed beside her and replied, "No, you're just The Girl."

Her heart fluttered and she laughed. "You make me happy."

"Hey, it beats you being gloomy," he joked.

"_Please_," she scoffed, "as if you're not gloomy half of the time too. In fact, you look pretty gloomy right now…"

"Tired of fighting," he sighed. "With you, with your brother, with questions, with the forces of evil."

Guilt struck Luci, and she said contritely, "Well, you can take _me_ off that list. I was wrong. To make things so difficult for you. I guess I hoped you'd think I was a pain in the ass and give up and save yourself. But I've warned you and that's all I can do."

With a smile, Harry replied, "You _are_ a pain in the ass, but I think I can handle you."

"I think you can too," she grinned. "So you really didn't leave my side?"

He shook his head, though he went on, "But I have to leave now. We still need to figure out how to rescue Sirius."

Luci raised an eyebrow, interested to hear what they'd found.

"So the research didn't go so well?"

"Nope," he sighed hopelessly.

She smiled. "Then you'll like _my_ news. I've been doing some delving myself."

He advanced on the bed. "How?"

"This morning," she said proudly, "I had a little visit with Craig Cambias."

"The Death Eater?" he asked warily.

"_Ex_-Death Eater," she corrected him. "Anyway, he's pretty much seen it all, and I thought he might know something about this veil of yours."

Harry frowned slightly. "And did he?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Well?" he prompted eagerly.

"Well, it's not good."

His frown deepened. "Please tell me it doesn't involve time travel."

"Time travel?" asked Luci.

"Never mind."

She didn't bother questioning him, instead getting to her point.

"No, it involves sacrifice," she explained. "The Veil of Voices collects souls, so if you want it to release Sirius, you have to offer it something in return, something more valuable than _his_ soul."

"How am I supposed to know what the Veil thinks is valuable?" he questioned.

"Tortured souls. The more tormented, the better."

Harry looked discouraged. "Then I bet it _loves_ Sirius."

"Was he very tortured?" she asked, feeling his melancholy sinking into her disposition too.

"Very," he sighed. "Well, I guess _I_ could take his place."

Luci's heart jumped briefly with fright, but she swallowed it and replied, "You could, but I'd come in after you and strangle you with my bare hands."

He didn't venture a response, merely sitting there with that desperate expression.

This made her heart jump again, higher this time.

"Harry, you have to promise me that you won't go through that Veil trying to save Sirius."

He only looked up at her, his eyes overcast.

"Promise me," she repeated.

"I promise," were his reluctant words. "But that means that he's never getting out."

"No, it doesn't," she countered. "Push Voldemort though the Veil."

He gave her a tired little smile and said, "Funny."

"I'm serious!" chimed Luci. "We could find a way."

"Not likely," he grumbled.

"Pessimist," she grumbled back, but she knew that he was probably right.

"You don't know Voldemort."

"I've had my close encounter, remember?" she said, and he grimaced, so she redirected, "So what's next? Are you still going to investigate the Veil?"

"I should probably go after Voldemort."

"Now?" she squeaked, and then almost put her hand to her mouth in embarrassment at the sound.

"What's wrong with now?" he queried.

"I don't know," was her meek reply, and though she could think of a million arguments, she simply continued, "Something doesn't feel right, Harry, and I don't think you should go. Not yet."

"I know that you're worried," he said softly, reaching for her hand, "but you're going to be worried whether I go now or two weeks from now."

"Yeah," she breathed, enraptured by his touch, "but then we'd have two weeks."

"We'll have a lot longer than that when I get back."

And all she wanted was for all of it to be over, so that their future could begin. But she knew that this was his destiny, so instead of relaying all the reasons why he shouldn't go after Voldemort, she settled on, "I love you."

"I love you too."

Those words again, from his splendid mouth.

Lightheaded, she said, "You know, I thought you'd gotten into that room because of Ginny. I really had no idea."

"You must have had _some_ idea," he responded, his eyebrows raised. "I feel like I've been chasing you for ages!"

Luci laughed. At herself, at him, at the situation.

"I refused to hope, I guess. And it _is_ hard to believe."

"Why?" he wanted to know.

But just then, a Healer bustled into the room, demanding, "Come quick!"

She was gone as rapidly as she'd arrived, and after looking questioningly at Harry, he and Luci were both hopping off the bed and rushing after her.

They followed her towards the room that held Mrs. Weasley. There were sounds of crying coming from inside. Harry had frozen in place.

He choked, "No."

_No_, Luci echoed in her head, and she clung to his hand.

"_No_," he repeated, his eyes searching hers, as if begging her to tell him that it hadn't happened.

And she wanted nothing more. Her chest hurt. She could only shake her head at him, helpless.

As though searching for a better answer, he released her hand and hastened through the doorway. She followed, only to find that all of the Weasleys were here… except for her dear Charlie. She almost moaned. It would have been another heartbroken voice among the many in the room, Ginny's being the loudest as she lay sprawled across her mother's lifeless body. Ron hadn't even been able to stand. And then Luci noticed that Harry's legs were giving way, as well.

She rushed towards him, throwing her arms around his shaking body. A horrible, exhausted sound broke from him, and she simply clung, hanging on as if she were trying to quell the storm of pain with her grip. She was just barely able to keep him from sinking to the floor as he sobbed against her. And she realized, in the midst of it all, that she was sobbing too, that she was inside of that storm of pain with him. She could hardly believe how badly she hurt for him, for Ron, for all of them in this room. But especially for the boy that she loved. She inhaled his brackish scent, all the while, caressing his hair, the nape of his neck, the small of his back, where her other arm supported him. He was trembling so violently now that he'd become feverish. And Harry simply continued to cry, for a very long while, and Luci joined him, pressing him as close to her body as she could, wanting to ease his pain more than she wanted her next breath.

Finally, he made a forceful movement, with strength she thought had drained from him, and pulled away from her. He was practically running from the room before she had even gauged what had happened.

"Harry, hold on!" she called, sprinting after him. "Wait! Just a second!"

But he was going faster than ever and merely threw her a fleeting look over his shoulder.

"I'm going to _kill_ him!" he howled.

"Please just _wait_, Harry!" she begged him, quickening her steps.

"I'm going after him and you can't stop me!" he roared back.

"Yes, I can," she countered, and then removed her wand and shot, "_Locomotor Mortis_!"

He halted instantly, and she saw him hold out his arms for balance before barking, "Luci, take it off!"

She paced swiftly to where he stood and faced him. His eyes were red, his expression simultaneously miserable and livid.

"No. I can't let you go after Voldemort in this state of mind; you'll get yourself killed."

"I don't care!" he seethed. "He's taken _everything_ from me!"

She almost released an audible sound of pity, but he'd have hated her for it. Instead, she moved nearer to him and put her hands to his chest, saying softly, "No, not everything."

He finally met her gaze, and there was fury burning in his eyes. But he sighed, "No, not everything. But almost everything."

"How important am I to you?" asked Luci, and then she motioned to the room they'd just vacated. "How important are _they_? Important enough to _not_ risk your life?"

Luci could see him clench his jaw. "Yes, but I have to go."

"Not this instant," she argued. "You need to calm down first."

"My best friend's _mother_ is dead!" he exploded, and then he inhaled slowly and went on, "Luci, if this was about _me_, if this was really a choice that I had, it would be different. But I'm the one who has to take down Voldemort, and I'd rather not put it off any longer, especially because the spell I used on the pair of you may have weakened him. I can't afford to wait. It's been days already."

His body was still aflame, alive with rage. She tilted her head. He was trying to hoodwink her.

"Nice try," she scolded, "but I know you're being driven by wrath right now, not this logic you're spouting off at me. When rationality returns to your eyes, maybe I'll consider letting you go after Voldemort."

"_Letting_ me go?" he scoffed.

And all she wanted to do was comfort him, stultify the hurt, so she slid her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him.

She began gently, "Another loss… Yes, you deserve vengeance, but you told me yourself that when you go after him, it'll be about obligation, saving the world, fulfilling the prophecy. You need to be able to focus."

Harry released a despairing breath. "You're right; I'm not ready."

"No, it's not _that_," Luci cut in quickly, trying to stave off his self-doubt. "You _are_ ready. You just need to clear your head first."

"I don't have nearly enough education or experience," he whimpered. "How am I supposed to battle the greatest wizard alive?"

She prodded his chin towards her and crooned, "Harry, you've already defeated him once, and you were helpless at the time. _You_ are certainly one of the greatest wizards alive, yourself." She sucked in a breath at the realization that it was true. "I believe in you and I think that you have everything that you need. You know your strengths, you have remarkable instincts…"

"I'm…" he stammered. "I'm _scared_… all of the sudden."

"And it's your _fear_ that makes you worthy!" she encouraged, holding him tighter. "If it weren't so important, so significant, you wouldn't be scared. You see? You understand the necessity of killing Voldemort, and _that's_ why you're terrified to fail. If there was no fear, you wouldn't be the right person to do this."

"But what if I'm not able to kill him?" he almost cried. "I mean, taking someone's life…"

"Voldemort isn't even human, Harry!" exclaimed Luci, unable to understand his hesitation.

"Murder is murder."

"Unbelievable," she said, shaking her head. "Look, if you get the chance to kill Voldemort, you can't hesitate. I will help you through the repercussions, but you have to be selfish for once and protect yourself." She glanced towards Molly's room. "For _them_. And for me. Because I'm starting to get attached to you."

She tried to make the last bit sound lighthearted, but in truth, she was almost shaking with terror. She knew that she was only buying time before he was going to go after Voldemort. The leg-locker curse had worn off by now, and he was his brave and determined self again.

"I _will_ come back, Luci," he said lovingly. "We've only just started and I haven't had enough of you."

"And when _will_ you have enough?" She tried to force a faint smile to her lips and failed.

"Never," he answered. "We've been over this."

She must have looked as though she didn't believe him, because he pulled her even closer against him. She fell into his frame, letting him comfort her this time. She wanted him to reassure her a million times over that he'd come back to her, or to simply tell her that he wasn't going after all.

Eventually, he muttered into the top of her head, "I have to go."

And then something occurred to her. She pulled away, just enough to gaze into his eyes. She laid her palm against his forehead, running her thumb over his scar, feeling the intense heat of his skin against hers.

He had closed his eyes. She wanted desperately to kiss him, but it was not the time. So she closed hers as well and delivered the spell, with every particle of love in her being.

"_Eleka nahmen nahmen ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen_…"

"Wh…? What did you do?" came his lovely voice, when she'd ceased.

Her eyelids fluttered open and she answered, "It's an advanced protective spell. It can only be forged with love. I used it on Draco - not a scratch on him. And it'll work for you too. See, love really _is_ your power."

"I know that now," he said with an etiolated smile.

"Feeling lucid again then?" she asked, realizing that it could be their last few moments together. Her stomach writhed objectionably.

"Yes. Take care of the Weasleys for me."

Luci nodded. "I will. Is there anything else that you need?"

"Number eight, Spinner's End," he replied. "That's where I'm going. Just in case."

"Right, but you're coming back?" she pleaded, though the answer couldn't be given.

"I have you to come back to?"

"Yes, you do," she promised.

"Then nothing could keep me away," assured Harry, and then he was kissing her, and they were rising into a blissful cloud of energy, where they were safe and warm and alive, and not only _simply_ alive, but alive with a love that death would never take from them…

And then she was breathing oxygen again, and his voice panted, "See you soon."

Her arms were suddenly empty, grasping at air. He had Disapparated.

Luci sobbed aloud before falling to her knees on the cold, tile floor. It dimly occurred to her that she'd spent most of her time crying lately. Her emotions were all over the place, more intense than she'd ever known them to be, though they'd been intense in the first place. She shook herself, rising slowly to her feet. She wouldn't mourn the situation, and she certainly wouldn't mourn Harry. He was coming back to her, she tried to tell herself. If anything, it was only time for mourning Molly Weasley.

She wandered back into the room. Ginny was now sitting on the edge of her mother's bed, a strange expression upon her face. Ron was on his feet again, with Hermione's arm linked through his.

Luci caught her eye, and Hermione asked, "Harry went after him, didn't he?"

With a nod, Luci replied, "I tried to stop him."

"You can't stop him," said Ron morosely. "You can't stop anything. And I hope he slaughters that bastard."


	40. Chapter Forty: Embrace

**Chapter Forty – Embrace**

Luci had been forced back into her room by her mother, who had insisted that the day had been far too eventful and rest was now needed.

But Luci was agitated, inconsolable, fretting without reprieve.

She was considering concocting another sleeping draught when Draco strolled into the room.

"How are you?" asked Luci immediately.

"Furious with you," he replied coldly. "But I wanted to let you know that I'm going back to the Manor with Mother."

"Now?"

"Yes."

She had better seize this moment then, or she might never get the nerve.

"Could I ask you the world's biggest favor first?"

Her brother frowned suspiciously, but allowed, "What?"

"I'd like to…" she began circumspectly. "I need to visit our father. He's here, isn't he? But I don't wanna go alone."

"Why do you need to see him?"

Pursing her lips, she said, "When you found out about me, didn't you have a lot of questions?"

He nodded begrudgingly.

"Well, I have a lot of questions too. He loved you enough to be your father, but he didn't love me, and I just… I wanna know why, I guess. Was it only because my mother is a Muggle?"

Draco sighed, his grey eyes conflicted.

"Fine," he said finally. "He's on the first floor. I'll take you."

By the time the siblings were in the elevator, on their way down from the fourth floor, Luci was nauseous with trepidation, her insides writhing.

Draco noticed the way that she was shifting her weight nervously and caught her eye.

"You don't look too good."

"I don't _feel_ too good."

"I'll stay with you," he said in the kindest tone she'd heard from him in days. "It'll be all right."

But when they got there, it wasn't all right.

Lucius Malfoy refused to see her.

It was a very fishy thing to want to visit him, and he knew it as well as she did.

So Draco was permitted instead, and he emerged a few minutes later, beckoning her.

"How did you change his mind?" she questioned unsteadily, feeling her stomach tilt at the return of the situation.

"I didn't," grunted her brother as she followed him inside, through the large, metal door.

Immediately, her senses were assailed by a revolting animal stench. It was a spacious room, with dark, concrete walls and a tile floor, and only one small window. Two guards sat in chairs before a rectangular steel cage. Behind the bars, Lucius sat on the edge of a small cot, surrounded, strangely, by straw, and there was even a toilet in one corner.

Her father looked up and locked onto her gaze. His face was scarred – long slashes on the left side – and she would not have recognized him, were it not for the silver hair and the harsh grey eyes.

"What do you want?" he growled, and his voice didn't even sound human anymore.

Beside her, Draco flinched.

And somehow, she was filled with pity for them both, for the loss of their pure blood. It was a completely irrational reaction. She'd be the first to admit it as such. But it changed nothing.

She opened her mouth to answer her father, but nothing came out. She felt sick. What _did_ she want from him anyway?

"Say something, Luci," demanded Draco. "I convinced him to let you in here."

Luci chewed the insides of her cheeks, pondering.

Finally, she asked, "Why would you have anything to do with my mother if you're so adamant about hating Muggles?"

Lucius smirked.

After a long moment, he vilified, "She was nothing to me. A quick pleasure. It was unfortunate that there were severe and lingering consequences."

Luci's hands went to her hips in indignation.

"You and I both know that it wasn't a 'quick pleasure.' You're saying that for Draco's benefit. You've fabricated this loathing for anything less than pure blood because it made it less likely for someone to find out about _me_."

Her father narrowed his eyes callously.

"I'm right," she decided aloud.

He looked away.

"You're my _father_," she implored, and then gritted her teeth on her emotion. "Do you really feel nothing for me?"

She supposed that it mostly hurt to be worthless to a person who brought her into this world. If she could be worthless to him, she was probably worthless to everyone.

But she wasn't, she reminded herself.

"Of course, I feel something," spoke her father presently. "Shame, loathing…"

She couldn't help emitting a wounded squeak. God, she hated herself for being so sensitive, especially to this irredeemable man.

"Father," cut in Draco, sighing.

Luci looked at her brother, and though his eyes were on the floor, his expression was penitent.

After a moment, she focused on the man behind the bars again and gave him one more chance.

"I see," she said. "So everyone knows about me, and your beloved pure blood is tarnished forever, and you're still going to be like this? You're still going to live in delusions that you created a long time ago, to protect you from something that has already got you?"

Her father simply stared at her.

"Still so much pride," she mused, her voice low. "Everything is over for you, everything is different, and you've lost it all. Everything. Except for your pride."

Shaking her head disdainfully at the caged creature, Luci eschewed and stalked from the room.

To her surprise, and delight, Draco was on her heels, asking, "Are you all right?"

She had to get all the way out into the hallway, into the fresh air, before she could face him.

"I'm fine," she insisted, and she wished that she wasn't lying.

Why was it so important for a girl to be loved, or at least accepted, by her own father? Why was that relationship so crucial in her mental state, the way that she viewed the world, the extent of her significance? That first abandonment sets the course for the rest of a daughter's life. How would Luci _ever_ overcome it? She supposed that she wouldn't. She would be haunted by that rejection for the rest of her life, and all of the varied emotions and tendencies that came with it.

Her brother was watching her closely, his face lined with concern.

"I'm sorry," he said finally. "I can't imagine what this is like for you…"

His sentence trailed away and he let his shoulders slump feebly.

"Thank you," she managed.

She sauntered over to a bench that sat before the elevators and collapsed onto it. Draco followed, parking himself next to her.

"I don't know how we're gonna do this," he muttered.

"Do what?" she asked, unfocused.

"Be… brother and sister. There's just so much in the way."

"Only because you _let_ Harry be in the way. You're not in _his_ way."

"Obviously," snapped her brother bitterly.

She gave him a sharp frown and he sighed, continuing, "Not just him."

"What else?"

"Well, you live in another country," he pointed out.

"I live _here_," Luci corrected him.

He grinned before he could stop himself, and she saw him try to force the expression away. It filled her with joy and hope. She really did adore him.

"Really?" he nearly squealed.

She nodded, smiling too, despite herself.

But then the levity slid from his face, and he mumbled, "And my parents. I think they're out to get you."

Raising an eyebrow, Luci queried, "What do you mean?"

"All of that in there," he said with a flippant gesture towards the room with the cage. "And everything at the Ministry. It was all a trap. They wanted me to go along with it, but I protested, so my parents, they knocked me out, and they took me there. They knew you'd come for me. And that Potter wouldn't let you come alone. So they'd lure both of you and…"

"And they did."

All of those people were dead because of her stupidity.

"They said that you were both weak and empathetic."

"I guess _I_ am," she agreed miserably. "Where you're concerned, at least."

Draco blushed slightly and gave her an affectionate smile.

Right away, she disregarded her guilt and let the warmth in. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to take care of him, to come when he needed her, for the rest of their lives.

"I forgot all of it," he blurted remorsefully. "I don't know how. I didn't mean to."

"What are you talking about?" she frowned.

"Because I… oh, god, I don't want you to be with _him_. I'm really not sure if I can deal with it."

Her brother was looking disconcerted again, and she linked her arm through his.

"Draco…" she started slowly. "What happened between you and Harry? I mean, apparently, he tried to kill you last year? I just don't understand this mutual hostility."

He shook his head. "I think… last year… it was an accident. He didn't know what he was doing."

"Wow," breathed Luci. "Benevolence?"

"No!" he barked. "I still hate him."

"Why?"

"I've given you so many reasons, I've lost count," he griped, "but I'll give you the newest – he wants to date my sister."

"He _is_ dating your sister," she reminded him.

Draco made a gagging sound.

"But no matter who I'm dating," she consoled him, "you will _always_ be my brother, and I will always love you, and you will always have your own huge piece of my heart that no one can take from you."

"Ugh," he grimaced. "Do you have to be such a girl about it?"

"Yes," she beamed.

He took a gruff breath.

"Fine. Date Potter."

Luci squealed in victory, flailing her arms in the air.

"But don't talk to me about him," continued Draco adamantly. "I don't wanna be around when he's around. And if I ever catch you two snogging again, I am disowning you."

"It's a deal," she concurred rapturously. "Thank you for being mature about this. You won't regret it. I'm gonna be the best sister ever."

"You already are," he said, but she could see that he was still irritated at her.

Nevertheless, Luci flung her arms around him.

At first, he stiffened and tried to push her away, but then he gave in, embracing her, and because of this, embracing her relationship with Harry too. Though she wouldn't point that out to him.

* * *

Luci had sent Draco home to his mother and was just returning to her room.

"_There_ you are!" exclaimed Hermione, who was sitting in the chair next to the bed. "I was looking for you."

"Why?" panicked Luci straight away. "Has something happened?"

"No, nothing from Harry yet," she pacified. "But we're all going back to Headquarters, and… Mr. Weasley wanted me to tell you that you're still welcome there, and your mother too."

"Oh," said Luci, astounded. "That's very generous of him, since I'm the reason that his wife and son are dead."

"What?" Hermione demanded, a crease appearing between her eyes.

"I led all of you into the Ministry to rescue someone who was important to _me_. It's entirely my fault. All of it."

She didn't know why she was being so candid with Hermione. She supposed the responsibility was just weighing so heavily on her that she would have spewed it to anyone.

"It's not your fault," scolded Hermione, shaking her short curls. "You sound just like Harry. He blames himself for everything."

"Yes, he does," nodded Luci. "And I'm worried about him. He's… beleaguered."

"I think we all are," Hermione sighed. "But Harry is strong. And resourceful."

"Is that enough?"

"I don't know."

"Everything, all of it, culminating in this miserable death of his best friend's mother… I'm scared that he's… unfocused," Luci finished piteously.

"It wasn't miserable."

Luci gave the brunette an uncomprehending frown.

"Her death. It wasn't miserable. It's… god, it's bloody awful that it happened, but… Mrs. Weasley was so happy. She was awake, for just a few minutes, before she died. It was strange. She reconciled with Percy, and she was telling all of us how much she loved us. And then she was just…"

A sob ruptured Hermione's sentence.

Luci, unsure of what to make of this news, and knowing nothing better to do, moved towards the taller girl and wrapped her arms around her.

Hermione didn't pull away, instead crying into Luci's shoulder for a long while.

Finally, she stepped back and choked ruefully, "I'm sorry. It's just… I'm trying to hold myself together. For Ron and for Ginny. And I just felt like… like I needed to fall apart for a moment."

"I know the feeling," Luci smiled up at her warmly. "And if you ever need someone to talk to… I know we didn't really get off on the right foot, but… I'm here."

"Thank you," said Hermione, wiping the last of her tears away. "I think I can understand what he sees in you."

"Well, that makes one of us," joked Luci.

The brunette gave her an appraising look before concluding, "Come back to the house with us. If you're ready."

And she was.

* * *

By the end of the day, it seemed that everyone had returned to Grimmauld Place. But the house was gloomier than it had ever been, with Molly and Charlie gone and the rest of the Weasleys inconsolable. For Luci, it was made worse by the absence of Draco. She'd have confided in Hermione in reciprocation, but her friend was far too busy soothing Ron, and Luci wouldn't dare interrupt. The same was true of Fleur, who whispered comfort into Bill's ears without reprieve.

So Luci spent the evening closed up in her room, fretting incessantly. There had still been no word from Harry, and numerous hours had passed. As the night aged, she dozed restlessly, fully dressed, sweating in her brief slumber. Horrible visions clouded her sleep, and around five in the morning, she came to complete consciousness again.

The house was dark and silent as she went down to the kitchen. She prepared a cup of tea and sat at the table, not bothering to ignite any lights.

She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there before Remus wandered into the room.

Luci nearly jumped out of her skin when his lamp illuminated the space, and he then stumbled into the doorframe, just as startled.

"What are you doing up this early?" he asked her breathlessly.

"Making myself sick with worry."

He sighed and sat down across from her. "Still nothing from Harry?"

"No," she said, "and he should be back by now, don't you think? Unless something's happened?"

"He's become quite brilliant at taking care of himself."

Luci frowned at him. "He went after Voldemort!"

"Yes, I know," answered Remus patiently. "And he has faced Voldemort many times in the past."

She huffed. "Are you telling me you aren't the least bit concerned?"

He smiled faintly. "No, I'm telling you that, if _you_ are this concerned, we should go after him."

Her heart perked up at this. "We? You'll come with me?"

"Certainly," he replied, "and I'm sure that Tonks will join us. I wouldn't want to ask any of the Weasleys, under the circumstances…"

"No, of course not."

"But I imagine Alastor would be good to take along."

Luci stood resolutely at these words.

"Well, round 'em up, Remus. We're going to Spinner's End."


	41. Chapter FortyOne: And the World Ends

**Chapter Forty-One: And the World Ends**

Number eight could barely be called a house at all. The place was in shambles, windows broken, walls crumbling, half the place incinerated. Had it been this way when Harry had arrived? Or had something horrible taken place?

Luci's heart was throbbing frightfully in her chest as she, Remus, Tonks, and Alastor entered the front doorway.

"Harry?" she called hesitantly.

Her foot met with something soft, and she looked down to find a corpse.

She screamed and leapt backwards.

"Inferi," said Alastor, stepping out from behind her.

This didn't make her feel any better.

"Someone toasted 'em," contributed Tonks.

"And the rest of the place too," Remus put in.

Luci was still gathering her wits, appalled by the Inferi, petrified by the entire state of things.

Alastor had wandered into the adjacent room, and then back again, concluding, "Loads of them. All bound together, all burned to a crisp."

"Do you think Harry did all this?" Tonks asked.

"He's more than capable," answered Remus.

"Yes, but where _is_ he?" screeched Luci, and then she took a breath and added calmly, "We need to find him."

"This way," instructed Alastor, and they followed him into a narrow hallway.

A door stood ajar at the end of it, and the four of them started down a set of stairs, into a basement.

Alastor was silent when he entered the room, and as soon as Luci came in behind him, her eyes fell on Harry's body. He lay sprawled on his back, his glasses a few feet away, his skin burnt and bruised and bleeding.

She rushed to him, falling to her knees. Something tried to crawl into her mind, to tear her to pieces, but she pushed it away frantically.

Shaking him, she pleaded, "Harry, wake up! _Please_, Harry!"

He didn't move, and her insides went to ice. Tonks kneeled next to her, putting her fingers to Harry's limp wrist.

"He has a pulse."

Luci's chest thawed with relief.

"The Dark Lord, however, has been defeated," said Alastor, sounding prouder than Luci had ever heard him.

She glanced over to where he stood, hovering above the remains. It was a sad, sorry, and sickening sight, and she had to swallow the revulsion rising in her throat.

The Voldemort that she had encountered in the Ministry was barely recognizable. The corpse before her was withered, blackened, and lying in what appeared to be a puddle of dust. The strangest part was that the eye sockets in his sunken face were completely hollow.

"Could it be a trick?" came the quiet voice of Tonks. "I mean… isn't it… unlikely?"

"Indeed," concurred Alastor, and he began to wave his wand over the dark heap, chanting.

Luci returned her attention to the boy that she loved. With the sleeve of her sweater, she was wiping at the blood on his beautiful face, telling herself that he was going to be just fine, and musing over their next kiss, the one that was sure to come.

The room had been quiet, but eventually, Alastor confirmed, "Let the joyous news be spread. The wicked old wizard, at last, is dead."

Tonks gave a subdued laugh.

Remus replied, "Wish I could say the same for my old friend."

Looking around, Luci saw Remus crouching over another body. It was the man who had come into the Department of Mysteries with Severus – a stout, rotund fellow with beady eyes and long fingernails.

"Who is he?" she asked.

"Peter Pettigrew," responded Remus, his voice ripe with repugnance. "Survived. As usual. Much to my displeasure."

And at this, the most ingenious idea occurred to Luci…

"We'll just get rid of these two," Alastor was saying, pointing his wand at Voldemort's lifeless remains.

"Wait!" exclaimed Luci, jumping to her feet.

Then, with all eyes on her, she walked over to the corpse and kicked it repeatedly, with all of her strength. Tears were pouring from her eyes and vulgarities were pouring from her mouth, but she didn't care.

Finally, she felt arms around her and heard Tonks's soothing voice in her ear.

"It's okay. It's all over now. Harry's going to be okay."

Luci halted, standing there in the embrace of a friend, and wiped at her cheeks.

"Yes," she said simply. Then Tonks released her, and she went on, "Let's take Peter and Harry to St. Mungo's."

"Peter?" queried Remus. "We should just kill him. I should have done it years ago."

"No," snapped Luci, and they all looked at her in puzzlement, so she went on, "I have plans for him."

"Ridiculous," Alastor responded. "He is dangerous and needs to be dealt with."

"Please," she begged. "I promise I'll make sure he doesn't harm anyone."

Alastor narrowed his eyes at her, but Tonks said, "She's proven herself by now, don't you think?"

"Yes, she has," agreed Remus, giving Luci a warm smile.

She grinned thankfully in reply before bending over to retrieve Harry's glasses from the floor, and tucking them safely in the pocket of her sweater. His hand still grasped his wand, which she placed in the front pocket of his jeans.

Then Alastor set fire to Voldemort's body, and along with Peter and Harry, both unconscious, the four of them Apparated to St. Mungo's.

* * *

It was brilliant.

All they needed to save Sirius was a worthy trade.

_People who caused great suffering to others._

That's what Craig had said. Who better to fit that description than Peter Pettigrew?

Luci had delivered the vile man to a pair of Healers, who claimed that he would recover within a few days. They insisted on sending him to Azkaban when he came to, but Luci had demanded that they inform her before making any decisions. Since he had no family, and she was the one who had brought him in, the Healers agreed to this.

When he woke up, she would make him confess to what he'd done to all of those people, those many years ago, and then she would throw him into that Veil and get Sirius out of it.

Upon securing all of these details with proper paperwork, Luci went straight to the room where they'd taken Harry, on the other end of the fourth floor corridor. She expected to see him fully alert again and to snog him senseless.

But when she arrived, Remus, Tonks, and Alastor were talking with a Healer, all of them looking solemn.

Her heart jolted.

"What's going on?" she asked the room.

Tonks turned, and there were tears in her eyes.

"_What_?" Luci pleaded again.

"There's nothing we can do for him," answered the Healer sadly.

"What do you mean?" demanded Luci. "He's alive! Just get him to wake up!"

"We don't think it's possible for him to wake up. He's… he got so close to death that he's not going to make it back…"

Luci's breathing ceased, and then, hot tears stinging her face, she screamed, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

And volatile words just continued to spew from her.

"How _dare_ you say that to me? Of course he'll wake up, you idiot! You just need to do your job! Why aren't you doing your job?"

A hand was on her shoulder, and Remus was saying, "Luci, she _is_ doing her job…"

"No, she isn't!" Luci shrieked. "Otherwise, Harry would be awake instead of just… just lying there! Why won't you _do_ something? He saved your whole fucking world and you won't help him?"

The Healer, overcome by Luci's attack, simply spluttered, "I'm so sorry," and sped from the room.

"Why is she sorry?" Luci asked Remus.

She wasn't going to accept this. Harry was going to wake up. Any minute now, in fact.

She turned to the others and stated feebly, "He's not… he's not _dying_. I mean… you all… you all think he's good as dead? He wouldn't do that."

"He's not coming back," replied Tonks gently, her voice strained. "The Healers, they said…"

Luci looked at her with wide eyes. How could Tonks give up on him too?

"Well, _fuck_ the Healers! He's _not_ dying!"

Tonks merely shook her head of purple hair, looking heartbroken.

And then Luci was struck with the most horrible sensation she'd ever known.

"No," she choked.

She looked to Remus, hoping he'd be on her side. He turned his eyes away. Alastor was leaving the room.

"No!" she said again, raising her voice.

None of them responded.

And then she was screaming, thrashing, sobbing. There was such all-encompassing darkness that she thought she must have died along with him. Blindly, she picked up something off of a nearby table and threw it across the room. It shattered, and so did her heart.

Then she flung herself over him, howling in agony and rage. It could have been hours, or simply seconds, later when something pierced her arm, and she fought for a moment, but soon went limp. She couldn't move and she couldn't speak. The faces in the room – there were many of them now – were all blurry, the voices sounding hollow. Arms were around her, laying her down on something.

She heard Hermione's voice beg, "Don't take her away. She needs to be near him."

And Luci wanted to say something, but she couldn't force her mouth to articulate it, couldn't force her body out of this administered torpor.

"It's not true, is it?" came Ron's gloomy tone. "He's not… really going to die, is he?"

_NO! _Luci's mind answered him, before the ceiling tiles changed and she realized that she was no longer in the room with any of them.


	42. Chapter FortyTwo: Waiting Game

**Chapter Forty-Two: Waiting Game**

Her arms and legs were bound, so even though the drug was wearing off, she still couldn't move. Had she really behaved so badly? Wouldn't anyone else have reacted similarly, given that kind of news?

After hours of lying here, thinking about it, it was sinking in. It made sense. Good things had never happened to her. She'd been stupid to think that something had changed.

So the boy that she loved was going to die. Was already gone, really, if you thought about it. He'd been dying since the day he was born, according to that asinine Prophecy. Luci would never be able to speak to him again, or kiss him, or hear his laughter.

Oh, god, what if while she'd been stuck here, he'd…?

_NO!_

But it had come to this. And Harry Potter had never even had a chance to live. His entire life had been hell. And, yes, he'd have been proud that he had finally defeated Voldemort, but… was it worth it?

Luci hated the whole goddamn Wizarding world for putting this on Harry's shoulders, for saying that all of their lives were worth his. _No one's_ life was worth his! And Luci hated every last one of them. She was going to be a Muggle from now on. Magic was banished.

She was feeling sorry for herself. She knew that it did nothing for her, or for Harry, or for anyone. But she couldn't help herself. It was all just so fucking miserable. She couldn't control any of it. She couldn't even get off this damned gurney.

At some point, she noticed that the cotton feeling had subsided in her mouth. She opened her jaw and moved her tongue around. Then she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and bellowed, "GET ME OFF THIS THING!"

A feeble little man in a long coat hurried into the room a moment later. He looked at Luci with alarm, like she might scratch and bite him, the wild animal that she was.

She sighed in exacerbation.

"I'm fine," she told the man. "I'm okay now. You can let me go."

He just gave her a hesitant expression.

"I promise," she coaxed. "No more madness. I'm just going to go home and not hurt anyone."

"We were told…" he stuttered, "to send you back to, um, headquarters? But only if you were lucid."

So she was expected to return. She wondered why. There was nothing there for her anymore.

"I am entirely lucid," she told the man serenely. "I only yelled because I thought that no one would hear me."

Partly true.

"Um," said the man. "Let me get someone."

She watched him go and then growled to herself. A few minutes later, he returned with a brown-haired woman, obviously a Healer, which he was not, and Luci's mother.

"Luci, honey, are you all right?" nettled Melissa Keegan. "I couldn't stop them."

"Miss Keegan," the Healer said pleasantly, "I hear you're feeling like yourself again?"

"Entirely," Luci smiled at them both. "Just want to go home and deal with my grief in peace."

_Grief_. She was amazed at her own counterfeit calm. She couldn't think about it.

"Very well," the woman said. "I just need to run a few tests to see that you've, er, rectified your mental state."

"Of course," replied Luci cooperatively.

The man and the Healer unstrapped her from the gurney, and she sat up, all of her limbs aching. Her mother was wringing her hands.

"Do you know where they've taken his… body?" Luci managed to ask the Healer, expecting him to be gone already.

The woman looked up at Luci cautiously and answered, "They've sent him to spend his last days at home."

_His last days. _Luci had to tense every muscle to keep from shuddering. And where was _home_?

"Thank you," she said hoarsely, and the Healer nodded.

Finally, after the ridiculous woman had checked Luci's pupils and responses to various stimuli and asked her a barrage of preposterous questions such as, "What year is it?" she was finally able to leave the hospital with her mother. After signing some papers relieving the staff of any incidents that might occur due to her impaired mental condition, of course.

Outside, on the street, Luci took a deep breath to compose herself.

"Sweetheart," began her mother cautiously. "I'm so very sorry about this. I've been trying to get a transfer from my job, so that I can come here with you. Now, though…"

Luci was hardly listening. Was he still alive _now_? If so, where would they take him? Certainly, it would be back to Grimmauld Place.

She put out her hand to catch a cab, and it only took a few moments for a little black car to pull up in front of them. When they got inside, Luci's mother was still talking.

"It might take a month or so for the transfer, but if you still want to live here…"

"Mama," said Luci in a low voice. "Can we just…?"

"Of course," her mother faltered. "But I do need to tell you one more thing. I spoke to the board at the Ministry. They were… a bit irate."

Luci inhaled deeply. "I was fired, wasn't I?"

"No, actually."

She raised an eyebrow at her mother.

"I tried to explain the situation to them. I'm biased, of course, and I think they considered that too. But they seemed… well, slightly understanding. They realized that you were protecting people that you loved, and I think that they were a little bothered by your feelings for Harry, but–"

"Focus, Mama."

She smiled apologetically. "They suspended your license for six months."

"Six months?" gasped Luci. "That's it?"

"I thought it'd give you time to move over here, get settled."

Mercifully, before Luci's sense of loss could get the better of her again, they pulled up on the street, just in front of that telephone booth that she knew so well.

After the cab disappeared, the door to Number Twelve became visible, and Luci knocked.

Fleur answered, and Luci flung herself into the Veela's arms.

"Luzee! Are jou all vight?"

"No!" she sobbed into her friend's beautiful hair.

And Fleur said nothing, just simply led Luci and her mother into the kitchen.

She looked up, through her tears, and saw all of them. Everyone who was still alive anyway. She trembled.

"Is he…?"

Remus forced a soft smile. "He's still alive, Luci. How are _you_?"

"Alive, too, they tell me, though I can't confirm it."

Tonks stood up and came over to put her arms around Luci.

"I'm sorry we couldn't get you out of there. They were saying all of this stuff about committing you, and we thought we should just give you the time to… accept things…"

"I think I had an entirely sensible reaction," said Luci, pulling away from Tonks, who looked worried. So she amended, "It doesn't mean I'll do it again."

The whole room seemed to exhale in relief.

"So he's here?"

Fleur nodded. "In heez vroom."

"Right."

And as Luci made to go, Arthur stood hastily.

"It's fine," placated Luci, turning back. "I'm fine. I promise."

He sat down again slowly and motioned for her to go.

She took the steps quickly, wanting to get to him, what was left of him. She burst into the room, and Ron and Hermione nearly fell off of Ron's bed.

"Oh," blurted Luci. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt…"

"No," Hermione responded. "We were just lying here. I mean… we didn't wanna leave him and we didn't wanna leave each other, so we've just been… lying here…"

She sniffed.

"Oh," said Luci again.

"C'mon, Ron," coaxed Hermione, and she began to lead her boyfriend out into the hallway.

Ron muttered, "It's _my_ room," but didn't put up any fight.

"Harry's too," she heard Hermione say before she closed the door behind her.

And then Luci allowed herself to move her eyes to the shell of the boy that she loved.

And he looked a little pale, but otherwise, it was just as though he was sleeping.

She kicked off her shoes, and despite her clothes being filthy, she pulled up the comforter and got underneath it. She snuggled up next to him, putting her hands against his chest, bringing her face close to his.

"Harry…" she breathed.

And, of course, he didn't stir.

Yet, there was hope within her. She didn't know why. It was illogical. Everyone else had given up on him.

"I don't know if it's too late for this… but _please_ don't leave me," she sobbed against him.

That faint scent of copper. He smelled the same. Alive. In the arms of a deep sleep, but alive. And the rising of his chest felt the same. Not at all like he was gone. Or even going. Just staying.

And she cried into his shoulder until her head was pounding with sorrow.

* * *

By the time Luci left Harry's room, after confirming that he was still breathing, of course, the night had fallen. She had discovered that she was starving, and having missed dinner, she headed to the kitchen to forage for food.

She prepared a turkey sandwich for herself and then went up to her old room. She removed her copy of _Advanced Protective Spells_ from the desk drawer and swore at it for failing her. Then, she took it with her to the drawing room.

Here, she laid it on the table and removed her wand from her sweater pocket. With it came Harry's glasses, which she'd been carrying around all this time. She looked blankly at them for a long time, cleaned a few smudges from the lenses, and tucked them away again.

Then she directed her wand at the book.

"_Flagrate_," she commanded, and it burst into flames.

She had a seat and watched it burn, while devouring her sandwich hungrily. She didn't put out the fire until she'd popped the last bite of food into her mouth.

"I thought I smelled smoke," came a voice.

Luci looked up to see Percy Weasley standing in the doorway.

Embarrassed at how noisily she'd been chewing, she swallowed quickly and sighed, "Yeah, sorry."

"What are you destroying?" he asked, strolling into the room.

"A useless book."

"Is there such thing as a useless book?"

She smiled somberly at him and nodded.

"News to me," he commented. "But isn't everything? You and Harry?"

"Me and Harry," Luci confirmed slowly, desolately.

"Well, you certainly made the rounds," chuckled Percy.

She met his eyes, her gaze like stone.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Fred, George, Charlie, now Harry. He's practically a Weasley too, you know."

"What are you trying to say to me?" she demanded, feeling indignation rise in her throat.

"Nothing," he muttered, blushing. "I didn't mean… I just wish I'd been in there somewhere."

Luci scoffed, "Oh, please, none of them were _in there_. Except Harry, of course. And that was… brief…"

"But I thought–"

"Don't be ridiculous," she cut in. "I never dated _any_ of your brothers."

Percy shook his head. "But at the wedding…"

"You don't have any tact, do you?" she spat at him. "This conversation is unbelievable."

And it was, on both their parts. She'd have been uncomfortable with the whole subject, if her mind wasn't so rattled with terror. But she would have been polite too, and somehow, she just couldn't muster it right now.

"I'm sorry," sputtered Percy. "You're right. I'm not good at these… social proceedings."

"Perhaps you should practice."

"Perhaps," he said softly. "I hadn't meant to make you angry."

He truly looked remorseful, and Luci exhaled heavily.

"Oh, I'm not even angry at you," she admitted. "I'm just… angry. But you _should_ practice."

Percy released a short laugh.

"And _I_ should thank you for coming for Christmas. It made them all very happy."

"You did sort of lure me. And not _all_ of them," he pointed out.

"Maybe not, but Charlie and your mother," said Luci, feeling a little guilty for the very intentional luring. "That was most important."

He clenched his jaw and looked away.

"I'm sorry about them. It's heartbreaking."

"Yeah," he choked. "Sorry about Harry too."

And straight away, Luci had to be in that bed with him again, monitoring his intake of breath, soaking in his dwindling heat, hoping for his eyes to open…

"I should go back to him," she told Percy, and then she hurried from the room.

Harry's door was standing ajar and Luci peered in to see Ron and Hermione, engaged in a tender kiss. She stepped back out into the hallway to give them privacy, and her heart was swelling with pain and resentment. Because she would never share a kiss like that with Harry again. She would never get that kind of happily ever after.

"Goodnight," she heard Hermione say, and then a squeal, as she nearly ran into Luci outside the door.

"Sorry!" both girls exclaimed simultaneously.

Then Hermione said gently, "Ron's going to bed. He'll keep an eye on Harry."

"Right," agreed Luci.

But she didn't want to be away from him, even for the night. How on earth would she sleep? She _wouldn't_ sleep. There was no possible way. If she didn't stay next to him, she'd go out of her mind.

Hermione must have read all of this on her face, because she said, "Come on, we'll find you something to do."

* * *

It was hours later, and Hermione was sitting at Luci's desk. Luci was sitting before the fireplace, talking to Craig Cambias, who she had contacted through the same Floo network that she'd always used to reach Severus.

She had told Hermione everything, all about her plan to exchange Peter for Sirius. Hermione had reminded her that there was no information to be found on the Veil of Voices and that they would never be able to pull it off. Luci had immediately turned to Craig.

He was listing instructions to her, and she was scribbling them onto a piece of parchment.

"Now," he was saying, "that should do it. Despite all of this knowledge, however, it will still be difficult. The Veil is very finicky."

"What if we used asphodel?" Luci inquired. "To improve our chances?"

She knew the plant to be particularly helpful in certain ceremonies, as it was thought to be a link between worlds, especially the underworld. She thanked her extensive education in Potions for this bit of information.

"It could not hurt," replied Craig.

"Thank you _so_ much," she grinned at him.

"My pleasure. And best of luck."

Then he was gone.

From behind her, Hermione commented sarcastically, "Now all we have to do is get Peter out of St. Mungo's and over to the Ministry."

"There's a plan for that too," assured Luci, whose mind had been whirling with ideas since she'd escaped from the hospital. She was sure that she had it all figured out.

"They want to send him to Azkaban," she continued. "But only because he survived. So what if he didn't survive?"

"But he has to be alive to replace Sirius," reminded Hermione.

Luci nodded.

And the brunette gasped in understanding, "The Draught of Living Death?"

"Precisely."

"It's… it won't be easy, but it's… brilliant!"

"Thank you."

"And it'll take awhile," she went on. "We should get started."

* * *

The draught was almost complete, and it was the early hours of the morning, when a knock came at Luci's bedroom door.

"Message for you," yawned Ron, when she answered. "Hedwig brought it in."

"How's Harry?" inquired Luci straight away.

"Breathing."

She sucked in a gulp of air in relief.

_But for how much longer?_

"Back to sleep," muttered Ron, as she took the parchment from him.

She closed the door and read aloud.

"_Miss Keegan,_

_We are pleased to inform you that Mr. Pettigrew has recovered and is ready to be discharged to a proper location, to be determined, at your convenience._

– _St. Mungo's, Fourth Floor, Spell Damage"_

Hermione had been looking exhausted, her eyes drooping, but she perked up at this and rallied, "Let's go fetch him then!"

Luci nodded, trying to be pleased that the pieces of her little scheme were coming together, even though it didn't make it any better.

"I have to stop down the street and make one quick call first."

* * *

The two girls met an enthusiastic Rita Skeeter in the lobby of St. Mungo's.

"What is this regarding, Miss Keegan?" asked the reporter, hungry for the gossip. "It is very early. Does this mean that you are prepared to divulge the details of your relationship with Harry Potter?"

"We'll see," Luci answered vaguely.

"Is it true that he is on his_ death bed_ after defeating He Who Must Not Be Named?"

Her eyes were wide with excitement, and Luci scowled at her.

Hermione spat, "You ungrateful–"

"Just follow us," Luci bit abruptly.

The three of them proceeded to the fourth floor of the hospital, where they inquired of a Healer, who took them to Peter Pettigrew's room.

The man was sitting up in bed, his arms and legs bound by magic. He looked bewildered by their presence, but then, his gaze went to Hermione, and he made a low rumble in this throat.

"We had to take a few precautions, legally, I mean," explained the Healer, gesturing to his struggling limbs.

"Of course," said Luci. "Can we have a moment with him?"

The woman hesitated, but then decided, "Yes, but… be guarded," and left the room.

"Who is this man?" asked Rita Skeeter without pause.

"This, Rita, is Peter Pettigrew," Luci answered.

"How do you know my name?" squeaked Peter.

"Peter Pettigrew was murdered many years ago," Rita countered. "When Sirius Black–"

"That was the story," interrupted Luci ruthlessly. "But what _really_ happened was that Peter killed all of those people. Peter caused all of that chaos. And then he disappeared, the little rat that he is, and framed Sirius Black, who was innocent and went to prison in his place when he should have been in Harry's life. Isn't that right, Peter?"

"No!" cried the man on the bed. "Who _are_ you?"

"This is all very unlikely, Miss Keegan. I understand that you're riddled with grief–"

Luci put up her hand to silence the reporter.

"Peter, if you won't confess your crimes, I may have to force you."

"I have no crimes to confess," said Peter firmly.

"Very well," said Luci coolly, and she removed her wand, pointing it at him.

In turn, Rita removed her quill and a notepad, fascinated and at ready.

"What are you doing?" came Hermione's voice.

"What I have to."

"Luci!"

She turned to the brunette, knowing that there was fire burning all over her face.

"Hermione. Don't," she hissed. "I have _nothing_ to lose anymore. It's what Harry wanted. And it's all that I can give him."

Casting her gaze down, Hermione nodded silently.

Luci swallowed her agony and commanded at Peter, "_Imperio_!"

The man's eyes glazed over, his expression going blank.

Putting away her wand, Luci sucked in a full breath to steady herself.

"Now, Peter, can you tell us what happened on the night that Sirius Black was arrested? I will need the truth, please."

And Peter Pettigrew began to tranquilly recite the details of his crimes – how he'd betrayed the Potters and had been found out by Sirius, whereupon, faking his own death and killing twelve Muggles in the process. Luci hadn't been aware of most of it, and was listening closely. Rita's quill was scribbling so frantically that she had produced a second one to assist the first.

Eventually, the man ceased speaking, and simply stared vacantly into the distance.

"Have you revealed _everything_, Peter?" asked Luci harshly.

He nodded.

"I'll be _celebrated_ for this!" breathed Rita elatedly, next to her.

"Congratulations," barked Hermione, who had been silent up until this point.

"And Sirius will be cleared," Luci said triumphantly, before deflating. "And we might get him out of the Veil just in time to tell him that his godson is dead."

"Miss Keegan, I must submit this story immediately," declared Rita, who was packing up her things. "Do call me when he dies. I will be sure that the article is tasteful."

Luci could only nod at her, because it was too much effort to be angry, and then the reporter was gone.

"Bitch," Hermione snarled. "What now?"

Removing the vial of Draught from her sweater, Luci thrust it at the man on the bed.

"Peter, drink this."

He chugged it obediently, blinked twice, and then went limp, the vial rolling out of his hand and into his lap. Luci seized it and pocketed it again.

"Hmm," she mused. "Perhaps we should let the Healers find him this way? Cover our asses?"

"We could go upstairs and get some pumpkin juice," suggested Hermione.

They hadn't been in the Tea Shop for more than a few minutes when a blonde man scrambled into the room, and upon seeing Luci, hurried to their little table.

"I'm very sorry about this, miss, but your… well, Mr. Pettigrew has… passed."

"I see," sighed Luci, feigning sadness. "Can we take his body? He'll need a proper burial."

"That will require quite a lot of paperwork," said the man uncertainly.

"Whatever it takes," Luci agreed, getting to her feet, and feeling like a great success for just a brief moment, before her thoughts turned back to the boy that she loved.


	43. Chapter FortyThree: Stay

**Chapter Forty-Three: Stay (corresponds with POTP Chapter 29)**

Harry was still hanging on. It was beyond her comprehension.

Luci had been lying next to him since she and Hermione had returned to Grimmauld Place with Peter, and she was in and out of consciousness. It had been many hours, and a storm had begun to brew outside of his bedroom window.

She had been keeping her head on his chest, feeling the slow rise and fall, listening to his faint heartbeat. Each one could be the last. She had been counting them at one point, but after a thousand or so, she'd ceased.

Some kind of stage of acceptance was finally beginning to sink into her brain, though she still cursed the viciousness of fate. It was the juncture of powerlessness and harrowing loss - byroads of guilt and rage leading to an embrace of the preposterous notion of closure. Yes, it was something like… acceptance.

Presently, she had fallen into another daze. She wasn't asleep, but she wasn't quite aware of anything either. Daydreams pattered across her thoughts, fragments of the future that she'd imagined with him…

And then a sharp pain slashed at her ribcage.

"Ow!" she exclaimed.

He had elbowed her. Wait! He was moving!

She sucked in a breath and whispered, "_Oh my god_!"

Exultation spread throughout her body. He was making soft moaning sounds. She wasn't asleep, was she? Or was he really awake? He repositioned his arm beneath her.

"_Oh my god, Harry, I thought you were_…" she started.

"What?" he groaned.

It was like rising from the dead; everything inside of her began to feel warm and alive again, like she was able to see and breathe and _feel_ for the first time!

Harry had come back to her!

She rejoiced, tears cascading down her cheeks, and then, because it was the perfect thing to do, she began to cover him in kisses. She was running her mouth over every inch of his face, taking him in, celebrating him.

Then he spoke again, "Luci, are you _crying_?"

She brought her head up, only just barely, not wanting to be too far away. His voice was the most beautiful thing that she had ever heard, as though it had never reached her ears in its entirety before, as though it was music calling her home.

Almost choking on words, she answered, "It's just… they said you were going to die… and I was so… terrified. I thought you'd never wake up again and someone would just come to my room one day soon and tell me you'd–"

She couldn't manage any further and sniveled pathetically.

He wrapped an arm around her, and she felt as though she could collapse with relief.

"I told you that I wouldn't leave you and I meant it," said Harry softly.

And every nerve in her body sparked. She was trying to breathe, but she wasn't sure if she was succeeding. It was such a blur, such an overwhelming miracle, that she simply went back to kissing him. This time, he would kiss her back, every time her mouth went to his. She kept at this for awhile, never wanting to stop, never wanting to be away from him again.

"Luci?" he muttered eventually.

"Hmm?" she answered, kissing him a few more times.

"Why are you in my bed?"

She pulled herself up, just a little bit, and gave him a quizzical expression.

"A boy should never question a girl in his bed."

He grinned, barely visible in the darkness, and her heart went aflame.

"No, I agree! What I meant is – why am _I_ in my bed?"

"Oh!" she responded, realizing that he had no idea what had happened. "Well, we found you and… and the Healers, they told us you would die, and I thought _I_ would die if you died, and they said there was nothing we could do, so we brought you back here to… to wait, I guess…"

She stopped and took a breath. "I'm sorry; I am so elated that I can't talk straight!"

Harry chuckled and tugged her back towards his body. She would never have resisted, so she pressed herself against him once more, resting her head on his chest. Even though she wanted to get up and dance around the room, giggling and shouting joyfully!

"It's the middle of the night," he pointed out. "So what _are_ you doing in my bed?"

"Being near you. Hoping for you to wake up. I couldn't sleep."

Luci shook her head. It still didn't seem real.

"How do you feel?"

"Damaged," he sighed.

She frowned. "What do you mean – damaged?"

He gave an unsure little movement before coming back with, "I just feel… different. Tarnished."

At this point, she lifted her chin and looked at him, her eyes straining in the dark. "What on earth _for_?"

A loud clap of thunder answered her instead, so she went on, "You can tell me anything, Harry, you know that. I'm never going to judge you for what happened in that basement."

"I…" he choked. "I killed Peter Pettigrew."

He was ashamed of something that he hadn't even done, and she couldn't help laughing. It was opportune that he hadn't succeeded.

"You didn't kill him, Harry!"

"What?" he cried. "Yes, I did! I used the killing curse on him! He… he fell right over!"

"You must not have meant it," she replied, "because he was alive when we found you. Barely, but barely is enough."

"He's _alive_?" he stuttered, bolting upright, almost causing Luci to fall from the bed.

But she caught herself, because she was strong and balanced again.

"Yep. Upstairs, in fact."

"_Sorry_?" asked Harry.

And she swallowed hard before answering, "Actually, Hermione and I… we took care of some things…"

"What did you do, Luci?"

"Don't get worked up," she coaxed. "This is _good_ news."

"Wormtail in my house is _good_ news?" he shot at her.

Everything_ is good news! Oh, hurray, hurray! _chirped her happy little heart.

But she said calmly, "Just listen. I had an idea, and I dragged Hermione into it a little bit, but it was mostly me, so don't be angry with her. I just… I wanted to do something for you, because you've done so much for me. Even if you weren't going to survive, I wanted to. So I…"

A pause gave her a moment to decide if she really wanted to tell him this now, divert from the euphoria, and he demanded, "_Well_?"

She sighed.

"After you'd been gone for too long, I got worried and went to Spinner's End to look for you. Alastor and Remus and Tonks, they all came too. We brought you and Peter to St. Mungo's, and they thought for sure that _you_ wouldn't make it, but they said that Peter would live, and they'd just send him to Azkaban, but... but I thought that was too good for him, and I had a better arrangement. So I enlisted Hermione to help me brew up the Draught of Living Death–"

"You brewed it?" he interrupted. "Did you _crush_ the sopophorous beans? It works better."

"_What_?" she frowned, oblivious to why he would ask a question like that at a time like this. "The potion was _fine_! Anyway. When the Healers were convinced that Peter was dead, we took him from the hospital, and now he's upstairs. All we have to do is get him to the Ministry and we can trade him for Sirius. He's plenty tortured, from what you've told me."

That was that, and Harry was simply looking at her in disbelief.

Looking at !_ Oh, hurray, hurray!_

"Oh," she added, remembering, "and I forced him to confess to framing Sirius. Just in case."

He didn't respond, just sat staring at her, so she incited, "Yay?"

"I… I can't believe you did this!"

She pressed her lips together, upset that he wasn't as thrilled as she had been.

"I'm sorry, but I–"

"No! You're bloody brilliant!"

"You're not mad at me?" she ventured. "I would have asked you, but it wasn't really possible, under the circumstances."

"No, this is _perfect_!" he chimed, and she relaxed again. "_I_ didn't kill Wormtail, and now we can send him to a fate that's fit for all of his crimes!"

"Yes, but you _did_ kill Voldemort, Harry," she hated to remind him.

"No, I didn't! _He_ tried to kill _me_!"

She blinked, mystified.

"What? He A.K.-ed you?"

"Yep," said Harry simply.

"But…" she breathed. "That's impossible… You're alive, he's dead…"

"Are we _sure_ he's dead?" he questioned.

"Well, we're sure _you're_ alive…" answered Luci, as though this should all be obvious.

_Oh, hurray, hurray!_

"But yes! Yes, I mean, I _think_ so. He was human." She almost shuddered at the vision in her mind. "Ugly, but human. Just a… a human body, lying there. We checked his pulse and I kicked him around a little… Then Alastor burned his body."

"He's dead," she heard Harry whisper.

Then he collapsed onto his back in awe, and she knew that he was letting the reality sink in. His entire life had been devoted to this one war, and he had triumphed. She was proud of him, and she couldn't imagine what he must be feeling. So she sat completely still, filled with more love and gratitude than she knew what to do with, and allowed him to turn it over in his mind, to realize his new freedom.

Meanwhile, she delighted in the heat of his body against her crossed legs, the sound of his breathing, the anticipation of the next words from his mouth.

_Oh, hurray, hurray!_

She guessed that nearly ten minutes had passed by the time she felt him groping for her hand. She laced their fingers, rapturous, but she remained quiet until he declared, "It's over."

"Yes," Luci agreed, smiling, "and you didn't even have to kill anyone."

"I just… I don't know how he died," pondered Harry. "I think the curse backfired again, because he started going on about someone's eyes and I don't remember anything else."

She raised an eyebrow and voiced her thought. "Well, they _are_ amazing eyes…"

"No!" he gasped with comprehension. "My _mum's_ eyes! He was saying, '_Her_ eyes,' and who else could it be? Maybe it was just like the first time!"

"The first time?" she queried.

"My mum, she died to save me," he elaborated. "Maybe her love protected me again. And I had your spell too. He was so much more powerful and I had no hope at all, just… love, I guess."

The butterflies that had taken to living inside of her stomach as of late gave a little flitter. That incantation had saved two of the people that she loved most.

"Sounds like it was enough. Too bad I burned that damned book of protective spells after I thought it had failed me."

Harry sat up abruptly, freeing her hand.

"I feel _great_! Let's go get Sirius!"

She pressed him gently back against his pillow and laughed softly at his energy. He had been _dying_ just a few minutes ago, and now… it was possible that he was more alive than she'd ever seen him.

"It's pouring, it's the middle of the night, and we have to wait for the Draught to wear off anyway. So you're going to rest and then you can take Ron and Hermione to get Sirius in a few days."

"You're bossy when you're happy," he grinned.

"It's a good thing you've had all those years with Hermione to get used to bossy girls, eh?" Luci teased back.

The smile lingered a moment, then faded slightly, and he asked, "Why won't you come with us to get Sirius?"

Why must gravity creep in on the greatest moment of her life? Or perhaps the greatest moment had been the first time he'd kissed her… Or maybe the first time he'd told her that he loved her…

She realized that she had yet to answer him, so she said, "Well, the three of you, it's kind of your thing."

"Our _thing_?" he echoed.

"Yeah, rescue and whatnot."

"You're mental sometimes, Luci, you know that?"

And if she hadn't been in heaven, and if she hadn't heard his corresponding laughter, she might have huffed some kind of self-deprecating acknowledgement.

Instead, she agreed, "There's a fine line between genius and insanity!"

"I want you to come," said Harry softly, his tone sober again.

Luci gritted her teeth.

"That place… The memories are too fresh. I'd rather not."

She didn't want to think about those memories right now.

"Besides, Harry, if it works, it's going to be _huge_ for you. Ron and Hermione have been there with you, and though I very much intend to occupy your future, this is about your past. Anyway, I have plans to make."

"What plans?"

"I need to go home," she answered, and he made a painful noise, so she hastened, "_Temporarily. _I have to tie up some loose ends, help Mama pack, say my goodbyes, that kind of thing. Shouldn't take long."

Then he made another noise, this one of disbelief.

"You're _moving_ here? _Both_ of you?"

"Of course," she grinned. "My home is near you and my brother."

"Where will you stay?"

He wouldn't like her answer.

"Draco offered to let me stay at Malfoy Manor until my mom gets moved here, and then we'll get a place of our own."

But Harry didn't even question her staying at the Manor. He simply asked sulkily, "No more midnight duels, then?"

She wanted, of course, to tell him that she was going to be sleeping in his bed with him from now on. But she mustn't be so absurd. If she stayed here, it would be all kinds of trouble.

"Sorry," he reprimanded himself upon seeing her expression. "I didn't mean anything by it. It's just been… nice… having you down the hall."

_Yes, oh, so very nice… Oh, hurray, hurray!_

"Yes," she purred aloud, "but you can't imagine how hard I've had to try to keep my hands off of you all this time. I don't trust myself to stay down the hall anymore."

How mortifyingly blatant and honest of her. Why had she said such a thing?

But Harry responded playfully, "That's a shame."

God, she wanted to pounce on him…

Instead, she thumped his leg in the manner of a schoolgirl on a playground and changed the subject.

"You still wanna study to be an Auror then?"

"Yes, and I expect your help," he said. "If you're striving to be like Hermione, bossy isn't her only attribute! She practically got me and Ron through Hogwarts."

"It's a deal," she giggled. "Hermione is my hero."

"Wait… what about your license?"

"Mmm," hummed Luci unhappily. "Suspended for six months."

He sucked in a breath and opened his mouth, looking all apologetic, but she spoke before he could.

"Hey, I'm _lucky_! I could have been fined or tried or fired entirely. They were lenient because they took into account that I was just trying to protect someone that I loved, and then, of course, they took into account that I loved you in the first place, and they weren't too pleased with that, so."

"Well, I'm pleased," Harry bantered.

"Of course you are!" she giggled at him. "You have me all to yourself, as I'm out of work for six months. Just don't make me get a real job!"

"There's the Luci I fell for."

He drew her down towards him again, and she gave in easily, questioning, "Was I gone?"

After a moment of consideration, he replied, "You went through a gloomy spell."

"Did I?"

He must have seen the change in her, when she'd realized that her emotions had won out, both with him and with Draco. She wouldn't have called it _gloomy_, so much as _introspective_, or even _guilty_. It was more like she had lost the energy and the focus to pretend to be a person that she wasn't.

"Yeah," he went on. "Your first few months here, you were _always_ joking around. You even made Malfoy laugh, which is something, believe me – the guy is a bore."

"Be nice," she scolded teasingly, before falling back into her reflections.

"I was always a _little_ gloomy," she started to explain. "I came here out of duty, you know. Because family is very important to me, whether _I_ am to them or not. But I had no affection for Draco, at first. The jokes were a defense, to keep me from getting too attached. I knew that I couldn't protect him as well if my emotions were involved. It didn't work, obviously, with you _or_ him. Not that I don't have a sense of humor, of course, but when no one was looking, I was always a _little_ gloomy. When the mask came off."

"And how am I to know that _this_ isn't the mask?"

She was instantly wounded by his doubt, knowing that he had every right not to trust her, but hating it anyway. She pulled herself upright and away from him.

"You can't get past it."

"What?" he blurted, bewildered, and sitting up too.

Luci had always known that it would be impossible for him to forgive her for everything she'd done. Her betrayals would follow them everywhere they went if they stayed together.

"You're not ready to do this with me," she told him.

"It was a _joke_," Harry mollified.

"You're _joking_ about how I've damaged your trust?" she whimpered, feeling like everything was tumbling down around her shoulders again.

But he was reaching for her.

"Luci, it's the _past_. You're putting words in my mouth. I thought we'd dealt with all of this?"

She bit her lip. He was right. If he could put it aside, she could too. Couldn't she? She had to, because it was the only way to be together. And she wanted so much for them to be together.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she sighed remorsefully, allowing him to touch her, to bring her back. "I just have this lurking guilt over everything that I kept from you. I'm sorry. I'll try to stop. I knew it was a joke; I just… I'm sorry. Fuck. I must be out of my mind – I just got you back and I'm snapping at you. I didn't mean it."

Caressing her softly, familiarly, he whispered, "_I've_ forgiven you, so forgive yourself."

"This from the guy who can't forgive himself for anything?" she countered, an eyebrow raised.

Harry responded with a shrug.

"Do as I say, not as I do?" she asked him.

"Huh?"

She tilted her head to one side. It was intriguing that they shared similar inner battles.

"It's something we both struggle with, I guess. It's funny, because you have so many wonderful qualities, but one that stands out is your ability to forgive. You've forgiven me, and loads of other people, for countless things, but you can't forgive yourself. I, on the other hand, don't forgive anyone, _including_ myself."

She gave a short scoff, feeling sheepish over her own flaws.

"You forgave me for slicing you up," he contributed.

"Sure," shrugged Luci, "but that's because I love you and you did it to protect me. You forgive people you _don't_ love, and I'm incapable of that."

"Like who?"

"Like Peter Pettigrew," she presented. "You said you let him go all those years ago."

Harry was shaking his head, and argued, "That was _pity_, not forgiveness! I did later try to kill him, remember?"

Luci didn't want to fight with him. She just wanted to revel in his return to her.

"Never mind all this," she sidetracked. "I will work on forgiving myself if you do the same. How 'bout that?"

"Ah, a competition?" he suggested playfully.

She grinned. "If that helps."

"You should know that I rarely lose," challenged Harry.

"I _do_ know that," she said, glad of it.

He yawned in reply.

Taking this as her cue to let him rest, she hopped off of the bed.

"Go to sleep, Harry."

But he sat up, asking, "You're leaving?"

"Yep," she nodded, "and you're going to sleep."

"Now?"

"Yes, before I change my mind."

"Change it," he implored.

She could see him almost squinting at her, either due to the darkness or to the lack of his glasses, which were now lying on the nightstand beside him. And he looked a little distraught that she was threatening to go. Maybe she could stay… No, that was silly.

"We both know it's not a good idea," she said weakly.

"Stay," breathed Harry.

Luci could have passed out, on account of one word. One sexy, suggestive word…

"Please," he went on, tearing through her will and her self-control and dammit, her honor.

"Ron'll be back soon," she stammered, "and I don't think he'd appreciate my staying."

"Ron?"

She had conflicting feelings about his digression. Let's go back to coercion…

"Where is he? Why isn't he here?"

Giving up on the idea of continuing the flirting, she answered, "He's… distraught. Up at the pitch blowing off steam, I imagine."

Harry took a deep breath. "He's never lost anyone, let alone _two_ people at once."

"Well, he's got you to help him through it," she pointed out. "And Hermione; she adores him. All of the Weasleys, their love will get them past this nightmare. Percy's even here, actually. Begged for forgiveness, in fact, and has been nothing but devoted to everyone."

"Too bad his mother never got to see it," he grumbled acrimoniously.

"Oh, _yes_, she did."

"What?"

She hadn't known that she'd have so much to tell him. Probably because she hadn't expected to be able to tell him anything ever again.

_Oh, hurray, hurray!_

Beginning slowly, she clarified, "You missed more than I realized. Well, after you left, Hermione told me that Molly had woken up and she had been talking to everyone for a good while, and Percy had apologized profusely and she forgave him. And soon after, she just closed her eyes, I guess. It was peaceful. She was happy."

After a long moment, he whispered again, "Stay."

It was not the response that she had expected. It made her tummy dance. She wanted desperately to stay, to touch him, taste him, undress him…

But she muttered, "Harry…"

"I need you."

His voice was soft and pleading, and all of her resolve was gone.

She replied, "Oi," and shamelessly burrowed under the proffered blanket. "You knew I couldn't resist _that_, didn't you?"

Harry gave her a guiltless laugh.

"Well, you still have to go to sleep," she ordered.

Because if he didn't, she might be too tempted to resist…

He was counteracting her effort to get him to lie back down.

"I'm not the least bit tired. I feel like taking a lap around the pitch myself."

"Too bad," she said, giving up on forcing him to sleep and rerouting, "Why don't you tell me what happened in that house instead? The place was in _ruins_! And what'd you do to your beautiful arm?"

"The Cloak caught on fire, and I got burnt."

Luci gave him a puzzled raise of her eyebrows.

"Well, when I got there, two Death Eaters were guarding the place, and I managed to stun both of them, but one had already summoned a bunch of Inferi."

Her memory brought up the scene in her mind and a chill traveled across her shoulders. Recognizing this, Harry wrapped his injured arm around her and lay onto his back again, bringing her with him.

"I'd seen Dumbledore use fire on them before, so I tried it," he continued, as she nuzzled his neck. "And it was working, but everything else kept catching fire too – the carpet, the walls, my Cloak. And those things, they can see right through it. It was mental. And a whole load of them pinned me on the floor at one point."

"Oh, Harry," she moaned. "That's awful."

He chuckled.

"Yeah, it was pretty rotten. But I used your bubble shield to get them off of me. And then I had to try to keep them at bay, so I was launching them back into the kitchen – that's where they'd come from – but they kept wandering back out, so I started binding them together. It took _ages_! But eventually, I had enough of them in one pile that I could make for that hallway, you remember?"

"I remember well."

"There was a door at the end of it, and I bolted straight for it, but I didn't know there were stairs on the other side, so of course, I fell down into that room, and there he was, just–"

At this moment, the bedroom door opened, flooding light into the space.

Instinctively, Luci jumped from the bed, not wanting to be caught in such an intimate pose.

"Oh, sorry," came Ron's voice, and he started to depart again.

Harry was laughing at them both, but he said, "No, Ron, come back."

"Didn't mean to interrupt," replied his best friend, discomfited, peering through the crack in the door.

Luci, mortified too, muttered, "I was just leaving."

"No, you weren't," Harry scolded her.

Then he directed at Ron, "We were just discussing my face off with Voldemort."

A light bulb must have suddenly gone off in Ron's brain, because the red-haired boy flung the door fully open, rushed over, and seized Harry's hand, shaking it animatedly.

"Hey, you're alive!" he was exclaiming. "We thought you were a goner! I've gotta tell Hermione!"

"No, no," Luci cut in. "It can wait until morning. You boys go to sleep."

Then, before Harry could entice her back again, she sped from the room, bidding a joyful greeting to a curious Crookshanks in the hallway.

Her own bed was cold without her love, but she slept like a peaceful little rock.


	44. Chapter FortyFour: Playing God

**Chapter Forty-Four: Playing God (corresponds with POTP Chapter 30)**

The next morning was like Christmas. The house was vibrant with elation as everyone was informed of Harry's recovery. People cheered and enveloped him in embrace after embrace. Still, Luci felt that no one could be happier than she was.

As the day wore on, however, the levity began to melt away into sorrow again. Magnificent as this one reprieve was, it didn't erase anyone's sense of loss over Molly and Charlie, including Luci's.

The first thing after breakfast, Harry had demanded to see Peter. The peculiar man was still completely unconscious, motionless inside of the ropes in which Luci had encased him. She figured it would be a few more days before he awoke, and by then, she might be back in the States. So she would be remiss not to show Harry and Hermione exactly what to do with him.

That evening, the three of them were sitting around the table in the drawing room, going over the parchment on which Luci had written Craig's instructions.

Grimmauld Place was quiet, as everyone else had returned to their respective homes, except for Luci's mother, who was upstairs in bed, and Ron, who was flying around the Quidditch pitch by himself.

"I think it'll be best to take him immediately when he wakes up," Hermione was saying.

"Yes," nodded Luci. "The sooner, the better. Are you sure the two of you can handle him?"

"I'll make Ron help us, if we need another," confirmed Harry.

Hermione's expression turned somber.

"We never had to _make_ him help us before," she sighed.

Harry glanced at Luci, and she could tell that he wasn't sure what to say, so she stepped in.

"It's just going to take some time, Hermione, but he'll find himself again."

The brunette nodded dully, and then rose from her seat.

"I'm gonna go check on him. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," chimed Harry and Luci in unison.

When they were alone in the room, Harry asked, "Do you really think we'll ever see the old Ron again?"

Luci shrugged sadly. "Maybe not. Maybe he'll never be the same. But he'll be the boy she fell in love with again. Someday. And that's what she needs."

He smiled warmly at her, getting to his feet.

"Come sit on the sofa with me."

Her stomach fluttered, as it did almost relentlessly lately. When she joined him, he wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on top of hers. She released a sigh of delight and pressed herself against him.

"I feel like it's… _wrong_ for me to be this happy, when everyone else is miserable," said Harry gravely.

"Me too, sometimes."

But she _was_ happy. Deliriously happy, really. And it never went away, even when she missed Charlie desperately, which was often.

"She was like my mother too… but it's different for Ron and Ginny. I just… don't know what to do for them."

"You can't do anything, Harry. I know you always want to _do_ something, to fix things, but it can't be done this time. You just have to be there for them."

"I don't really know _how_ to be there for them," he mused. "Especially Ginny… without… it's weird."

Luci didn't respond. She wasn't sure how to. As much as she hated herself for it, there was still underlying jealousy there, and a lurking fear that he might go back to her eventually.

"Sorry," he said, when she'd been quiet for too long.

And she knew that she was drudging up unpleasant things, but she couldn't help asking, "Harry… why would you want me when you can have Ginny?"

He sighed, low and deep.

"Luci, don't start."

"She's just so..."

"She's not _you_," Harry cut her off. "I can't help what happened, that my feelings changed. She'll always be important to me; she's my best friend's sister. But we never had anything like _this_."

It made her feel a little bit better. But she imagined she'd always be afraid of Ginny Weasley, who was beautiful and courageous, and who had known him far longer.

"Well, if you ever change your mind…"

"Shut up, Luci."

She bit down on the insides of her cheeks to keep from asking more questions. Many minutes passed. She tried to tell herself that she should just live in this moment, in his arms, and not worry about the future. But in all honesty, her abandonment issues would haunt her until the day that she died. All she could do was try to keep them from ruining their budding relationship.

Finally, he questioned, "Have you ever had anything like this? I mean, before?"

Luci furrowed her brow, taken aback. It was something they'd never discussed. He had no idea about Mark. But had things with Mark been like _this_?

Taking a long breath, she replied, "I had something… wonderful once. About four years ago. But it was brief. And no, it wasn't anything like this. This is… magic."

"Who was he?" asked Harry sharply. Then, "Can I ask that?"

"Of course, you can," she pacified, but she stared at his left hand in his lap because she didn't want to look into his eyes. "His name was Mark. He was a Muggle and we worked together."

Luci proceeded to tell him the same story that she'd told to Charlie, dear Charlie, though she left out some of the sentiments. And this time, she didn't feel the tears anymore. She didn't feel the pain, the rejection, the loss. She felt a little distant from it, actually, like it was a long lost past that she was leaving behind her. And she supposed that it was.

"That sounds traumatic," Harry breathed when she'd finished. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she said, finally repositioning herself so that she could look at him.

As he gazed back down at her, his dark hair was falling onto his forehead, a large clump just above his eyes, but he didn't push it away.

Instead, he stated, "So we both have someone we won't forget. It doesn't mean we want to be with them. Right?"

"Right," Luci concurred, knowing that he was.

"So you'll stop obsessing over Ginny?"

"I don't obsess!" she objected.

He grinned, and then he tilted his head down to kiss her. Her body surged with passion, which no longer surprised her, but still took her breath away.

When he broke the kiss, she panted, "I think I'm convinced."

"I'm sure you'll be worried again by tomorrow," he laughed.

She gave him a wounded frown.

"I will never get used to your insecurity," said Harry, shaking his head. "But I'll keep proving to you that there's no need for it."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yes," he assured her, before kissing her again.

* * *

A few days later, everyone was sitting in the kitchen, having lunch, when a terrible sound met their ears. A high-pierced squealing was coming from upstairs.

"I think he's awake," said Hermione.

At this, Luci darted from the room, with Harry and Hermione on her heels.

On the floor of the third landing bedroom, Peter Pettigrew was squirming recklessly and making an irritating screeching noise.

Luci quickly waved her wand at him and he fell back into unconsciousness.

Harry queried immediately, "I thought he had to be awake?"

"When you get there," she explained. "But I don't think he'd cooperate on the trip if he were awake for it. So, Hermione, a little rousing spell oughtta do the trick."

With a bob of her head and a glance at Harry, the brunette asked, "We're going now then?"

After a moment, he turned to Luci and said, "If you'll come with us."

She was leaving the next day. She had expected to be gone before Peter came out from under the Draught. The prospect of returning to that place caused a sick feeling to rise in her throat, and she didn't answer him.

"What if something goes wrong?"

"I've told you everything that I know," she sighed.

Harry's green eyes were gazing beseechingly into her own. She hated that she couldn't say no to him, and didn't even want to, because everything in her just wanted to make him happy.

He prodded, "But you're the most powerful of the three of us."

Luci emitted a short laugh. "Please! The Boy Who Lived, Defeated Voldemort, and Then Lived Some More? And Hermione, the smartest witch I've met since I got here? I'm just the oldest! I think you'll be fine."

"What if I just need you to be there?" said Harry softly, persuasively, as he came closer to her.

"There you go again," she couldn't help grinning. "You always know what to say to a girl."

He shook his head. "I'm rubbish with girls, actually."

"Rubbish," Luci dismissed.

"Hermione and I, we both have bad memories there too."

His best friend was nodding, "It's a dreadful place."

Looking back up at him, Luci sighed, "Does it really mean that much to you?"

Harry gave her an affirmative bob.

He was impossible to resist. The last few days had been ridiculous; they hadn't been able to keep their hands off of each other. Even now, she was forcing herself not to jump into his arms in front of Hermione.

"Well," she finally gave in, "who am I to be such a coward in the face of two brave souls such as yourselves? Shall we go, then?"

Hermione vacillated. "What about Ron? He won't come with us. We can't just leave him."

"We won't be gone long," appeased Luci. "And my mom'll be with him."

The brunette nodded hesitantly.

"Why don't we meet back here in ten minutes?"

"I'll go fetch the things we need," chimed Hermione, before speeding off.

"Thank you for agreeing to come," Harry said warmly. "It won't be that bad."

"I hope you're right."

He swooped forward and hugged her, and she fell against him.

"I love you for making this possible."

"I love _you_ for lots of reasons," she cooed back at him.

"Shut up," he laughed. "I love you for lots of reasons too."

* * *

It wasn't long before Luci found herself growing dizzy in that rotating room again. She hated being here, and hoped that the nausea was only due to their spinning.

"The room, please," Harry called, after a few seconds, and the same door reliably revealed itself.

Luci was levitating Peter Pettigrew's sleeping body, pushing it ahead of herself as she went. She was following Harry and Hermione into the arena with the Veil, down the stone steps, all the way to the dais at the bottom.

Standing Peter up against the wall, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible, she asked, "Hermione, do you have that left-over asphodel?"

"Of course."

Luci took the dark leaf from the brunette's hand, just as Harry questioned, "What's that for again?"

"It'll make the transition between the worlds a little smoother, I think," she told him, compressing the plant in her palm.

She was applying it over Peter's forehead and eyes when she heard Harry beckon, "Sirius?"

And an unfamiliar voice replied, "Harry! Thought you weren't coming back!"

Luci turned around, confused by the conversation, and saw that the boy she loved was talking into a tiny, golden mirror.

"Don't be daft," he was saying.

"Hermione?" came the voice again. "Did she find a way to get me out of here?"

"She helped," Harry answered it. "But it was someone else, actually."

The mirror scoffed. "Ron? He couldn't possibly have…"

"No, not Ron," chuckled Harry, and then he looked up to see Luci watching him.

He grinned significantly at her, and she returned the expression. He looked so… hopeful. And it made her heart buoy just a few inches in her chest.

"We'll get you out of there and I'll introduce you," he was going on.

The mirror responded, "Jolly good! I am _long_ past ready to get out of here."

"Just give us a few minutes," Harry concluded, tucking the mirror into the pocket of his jeans.

He gave Luci a nod to begin, and she thumped Peter gently between the eyes, commanding, "_Evigilo_."

She had to fling herself backwards to avoid his prompt flailing. Then he ceased, just as abruptly, at the comprehension that he was no longer bound.

"Where I am?" he demanded. Then his eyes fell on Luci. "Oh, no, not _you_!"

She almost laughed. "And you remember Harry and Hermione, I'm sure?"

He glanced in their direction, apparently recognized them, and at once, made a run for it.

"Not so fast," retorted Harry, and then, with wand in hand, "_Locomotor Mortis_!"

The man's legs locked beneath him, and he nearly toppled over before hissing, "You tried to kill me and now you have some new sinister thing up your sleeve? What happened to your mercy, Potter?"

Luci knew that Harry had a handle on Peter, so she removed Craig's instructions from her back pocket and approached the Veil. It was fluttering in the non-existent wind.

"Ran dry, I'm afraid," Harry was jeering to her right.

"We humbly request an audience in order to propose an exchange for one of your captives," she recited.

She could feel Harry and Hermione suddenly watching her, and she looked to them, admitting, "I feel silly."

Each of them gave her a supportive gesture to continue.

Peter Pettigrew began to grouse loudly, at this point, and she could hear Harry provoking him. But she tried to shut out the noise and focus on the incantations.

She read the first line again, and then continued, "We acknowledge your power and appeal to you as modest souls. Will you accept our offer of a trade?"

The archway seemed to inhale, and then fired a powerful gust of wind towards her. She almost lost her balance, but she was thrilled at the effect.

Harry appeared instantly at her side, looking anxious, but she shooed him away.

"No, that's _supposed_ to happen. Bring Peter over here."

Then she said again to the Veil, "We thank you for your acquiescence."

A few moments later, Harry and Hermione were placing Peter before the flapping curtain. The man was waving his arms frantically, screaming things, a look of horror on his face. She almost felt sorry for him.

Instead, she moved forward and concluded, "We offer the soul of Peter Pettigrew in exchange for the soul of Sirius Black."

Stepping back, she motioned to Harry to finalize the deal, and he shoved Peter's body into the Veil. The rotund man capsized onto his front, bawling, his legs still omitted from the curtain. Luci and Hermione helped to heave him through the rest of the way.

The Veil seemed to inhale heavily again, as if sucking Peter in. Then it went still for the first time. It was a good sign, and the three of them watched in anticipation, hoping for Sirius to materialize.

After a few minutes, Hermione whispered, "Shouldn't something have happened by now?"

Luci bit her lip fearfully. "Yes."

"What do you mean?" cried Harry, his raised voice echoing. "He's not coming out?"

"Maybe I missed something."

She took out the parchment and read over the directions again. She had been perfectly thorough.

"According to Craig's instructions, he should have emerged by now…"

Harry was looking alarmed, and she began to feel that way herself.

_Oh, please let it work…_

She advised aloud, "Try him in the mirror."

He took it from his pocket again, calling, "Sirius," a couple of times, but with no response.

"Where _is_ he? Did something happen to him?"

At his desperate tone, Luci felt tears pooling in her eyes and answered meekly, "I… I wouldn't _think_ so…"

"You wouldn't _think_ so?" panicked the boy that she loved.

"I'm… so sorry, Harry. I can't think of any reason why Craig would lie to me…"

"He's a Death Eater!" he exclaimed, and then he pummeled his foot into the archway, hissing, "Shit!"

Luci felt terrible. She had given him all of this hope, and now, it was gone forever, just like his godfather.

"Life will simultaneously surprise and disappoint you," she lamented morosely.

Hermione huffed next to her. "Look at the pair of you! You're both so… emotional!"

Harry was still pacing around, and grumbled, "It didn't _work_, Hermione!"

"Well, there was always a chance of that, wasn't there?"

He turned away and produced a low snarl.

"I mean, it was a long shot, wasn't it?" Hermione went on.

Luci shook her head remorsefully. "This is my fault. I should have never gotten your hopes up, Harry. It _was_ a long shot."

He looked miserable and didn't answer, simply smoothing a hand through his hair. It was a lovely gesture, and she was overcome with a need to touch him, so she darted over and threw her arms around him. He welcomed her, pressing her closer, and she repeated, "I'm so sorry."

"You tried. What more can we do?"

And then Hermione blurted, "Wonderfluff!"

"Huh?" asked Harry, and Luci took a step back from him to peer just as curiously at Hermione.

"The stuff you told Ron and me about," she explained. "The purifier!"

"What about it?" he asked with a frown.

The brunette's eyes were wide and optimistic as she continued, "Maybe Wormtail's soul wasn't as tortured as Sirius's. But if we could get that Wonderfluff in there to him, maybe it would purify his soul and he could be released!"

Listening uncertainly, Luci was pondering the possibility of this route. She would have to contact Craig again and ask if it could be done. It would be complicated, certainly. And what would happen to Sirius if they wiped his soul clean?

Harry reached out and touched her arm softly. "What are you thinking?"

She met his beautiful eyes. "Just mulling it over. But this calls for more research, because I don't know how to get something in there to someone specific. And I'd be worried about the effects of something like that on someone's _soul_."

"Hermione does research for _fun_!"

He was emboldened again, and it bothered her, because things weren't looking good for Sirius Black.

"Well, it _was_ my idea," concurred his best friend.

"Back to the drawing board, then," Luci muttered.

"It's fine," mollified Harry, seeing her downcast gaze. "We'll figure it out. The world's two smartest witches are on the case, don't forget."

Hermione straightened proudly. "Yes, we are! Let's get cracking!"

Luci smiled, but then reminded them both, "And we have until I go home tomorrow."

The corners of Harry's mouth dropped. "Let's pretend that isn't going to happen."


	45. Chapter FortyFive: Proper Goodbye

**Chapter Forty-Five: Proper Good-bye (corresponds with POTP Chapter 31)**

Luci hadn't slept much. She had spent most of the night wishing that she was lying next to Harry and that she didn't have to depart from him, or from this country that she'd grown to love.

So when a knock came at her door the next morning, as she was packing a few last minute things, and she opened up to see his splendid face, she tugged him into the room.

Nearly slamming him against the wall, she kissed him fiercely, possessively. She was leaving him here with Ginny, and she felt like he'd forget about her while she was gone, if she didn't give him a reason to miss her presence. No one would ever kiss him the way that she would.

Finally, she pulled away, her breath short, her blood rushing.

Harry's eyes were still closed, but he panted, "What was that for?"

For a long moment, she could only look at him, her gaze roaming over his features. Then, he opened his right eye to peer inquisitively at her.

She answered throatily, "Something to remember until I get back."

He sucked in a sharp breath. "It's going to be the longest two weeks of my life."

"Oh, I doubt that," smiled Luci, and he chuckled, so she added, "What?"

In reply, Harry gave a short knock on the wall behind him.

She furrowed her brow at him, bewildered, but gasped when a man appeared in her doorway.

"Sorry… uh… didn't want to follow you in… under the circumstances," the stranger stuttered, staring awkwardly at the floor.

Luci could feel that her eyes were wide, her cheeks hot. Who was this person who had just witnessed her attempt to seduce Harry?

"This is Luci," said the boy that she loved, without ceasing his laughter.

The man took a further step forward and mumbled, "Pleasure," before motioning to himself and adding, "Sirius Black."

She felt her jaw drop. How was it possible?

Then, overcome with joy, she flung her arms around the unfamiliar man in welcome, jabbering, "_So_ good to meet you! But _how_? I thought it didn't work?"

Sirius had gone rigid with discomfort, so she immediately released him.

"I thought you weren't a hugger?" Harry teased her.

She blinked incredulously at him. "It's _Sirius_! We thought he was _dead_!"

He shrugged, "The exchange worked. The Veil just isn't very punctual."

Sirius threw his arm out abruptly towards Luci, marveling, "It was you. You got me out of that… that _place_."

She made to object, but he went on, "Yes, Harry told me everything that you did. I am in your debt."

Continuing to shake her head, she protested, "Don't be ridiculous! It was all for Harry. Though I'm very glad that you did get out, for your own sake, as well. It really is _so_ wonderful to meet you!"

He took a step back, as if he feared that she might hug him again, and she thought it entirely possible.

Presently, her mother poked her head into the room, asking, "What's all this racket so early in the morning?"

"This is my mom, Melissa Keegan," explained Luci to Sirius, who was looking needlessly alarmed. "Mama, this is Sirius, the one I was telling you about, Harry's godfather."

Her mother put out her hand, and with an expression of fascination on his face, Sirius took it, shaking it slowly, almost frowning at her in concentration.

"Very nice to meet you," her mother greeted him abashedly.

"Likewise."

Luci was examining this behavior cautiously, having never seen her mother act this way. Something about it made her uneasy.

"I'm on my way down to make some breakfast," offered her mother. "Care to join me?"

Sirius Black blinked in astonishment, and then replied timidly, "Love to."

And then she was guiding him out of the room.

Luci stood motionless for a moment, and then elbowed Harry's side. "Did you _see_ that?"

"Yeah. Gross."

"_Really_ gross," she agreed.

"What do you think that was about?"

She licked her lips thoughtfully. "My mom trying to ruin my life?"

"Oh, man, you don't think…?"

He trailed off, looking as disgusted as Luci felt.

"We'd better go keep an eye on them," she suggested.

In the kitchen, they found her mother in an endeavor to discover Sirius's favorite style of eggs.

And it wasn't much longer before the room was full of people enthusiastically welcoming their returned friend home. Remus, Tonks, and Alastor had shown up without warning, supposedly just to check in, and even Ron had come down from the pitch. Luci and her mother needed to cook everything in sight in order to feed all of them.

Currently, they were all sitting around the table together, listening to Harry, as he narrated the story of Sirius's rescue.

"So we had lost all hope, standing there in the Ministry," he was saying, "when Hermione had an idea to use something called Wonderfluff, this brilliant powder that–"

"Sorry to interrupt," came Melissa Keegan's voice, "but, Luci, we have to go. The plane'll be taking off soon and we still need to stop by and see your brother."

Luci shook her head in remonstration.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get your things?"

She looked down the table at Harry, and his forlorn expression reflected hers.

Rising, she nodded to her mother, "Be down in a minute," and then encouraged Harry, "Keep going."

She hurried up the stairs, willing away her tears. She had to make this quick and painless. She could cry over missing him when she got home. And it would only be a few weeks. It was nothing, compared with the time that they had to look forward to.

The trunk was fully packed, the room emptied of all of her belongings. A heavy sense of loss came over her. She had spent months living in this room, experiencing emotions she thought she'd never know. And for better or worse, that time had come to an end. She would be moving on now, to something brighter, probably, but bereavement still weighted her chest. With a sigh, she donned her sweater and began to lock the trunk.

"Need any help?" came the voice that she so adored.

She stood upright and turned. He looked so beautiful and so crestfallen, standing there in the door frame.

"I don't wanna go," she whimpered.

He moved swiftly, and all at once, his arms were around her, and she was safe and loved and blissful waves were lapping at every nerve. She took in his coppery scent, soaked up his heat, savored the sensation of his hands on her body…

"You told me your whole life was there," he said, after a long time, "so don't change your mind about coming back, okay?"

She tilted her head up to look at him. She wouldn't dream of it. She couldn't even imagine surviving these two weeks.

"I won't. Things have changed."

"But you're giving up your home and your friends and–"

"I know," she cut him off, before continuing fervently, "But I've thought a _lot_ about this. I've never felt about _anyone_ the way that I feel about _you_. And moving across an ocean is a small price to pay. For what we have. And after what happened with my father, I need to be near Draco too."

He clenched his jaw. "No talk of Draco right now."

Gasping, Luci exclaimed, "Hey, you called him by his first name!"

"Yeah," he grumbled, "don't get used to it."

"Ah, progress," she grinned.

He began to run his fingers through her hair and along the back of her neck, and tremors shuddered through her body.

"I'm really gonna miss you," he breathed, before touching his mouth to hers.

She tensed lustfully, surmounting desire filling her to the brim. It would be so long before she could be alone with him again… She was growing impatient. But there was no time to devour him now.

When he pulled away, she answered him, "Me too."

"When will I see you again?" he asked, glowing. "I'll be at Hogwarts when you get back."

"I can send an owl, if you like," she said through her lingering daze.

Harry cocked his head disapprovingly. "Yes, but I want to _see_ you."

"I guess you can't leave school once you're there?"

"Not easily."

"Hmm. Well, I'll just have to come to you then. Do you still have the Pass?"

"Hermione has it," he responded hoarsely, caressing the small of her back.

She tried not to moan aloud. He was driving her mad. She had to get him out of these clothes…

Feeling the blood pooling in her cheeks, she forced herself to take a step back from him.

"I'll get it from her," she cleared her throat. "And then, I'll come straight to Hogwarts when I get back. Will that work?"

He looked put out by her distance, but he bobbed his head.

Just two weeks and then she'd be back here… But not _here_, actually…

"Oh, _god_," she complained aloud.

"What?"

"I just realized that I'm going to be stuck in the Manor all alone with _Cissy_."

He would be at Hogwarts, and she would be _there_, and she was never going to get him out of his clothes, dammit.

Harry chuckled at her.

"It's not funny!" she cried, meaning both circumstances. "The woman is… _dire_."

"Hey, I offered to let you stay here, and it still stands."

She frowned. "Alone with Sirius? That's even weirder."

"My only other idea is Hogwarts," he proposed. "Come and stay there."

Luci shook her head at him. He had no idea what kind of trouble he was in right now…

"Oh, and do _what_, exactly?" she incited with a smile. "An unlicensed Auror just wandering the halls all day and then sneaking up to her boyfriend's dorm at night and pouncing on him? I don't think we'd get away with it."

It was a glorious idea though…

Harry grinned back, "As much as I'd love that…"

"Luci!"

Her eyes slammed shut. She could have hated her mother in that moment. Would he have completed her thoughts? Was he feeling this way too? Absolutely on fire?

"I have to go," she sighed.

"Yeah."

She gritted her teeth and called, "Coming!"

Seizing Harry's shirt, she pulled him to her for one final kiss, making it quick for the sake of prudence, and told him, "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Even sooner, if she could help it.

* * *

Luci knocked on the majestic front door at Malfoy Manor. It took her brother a few minutes to answer, but when he did, he came out hastily onto the front step, closing the door behind him.

He looked agitated, and Luci immediately questioned, "What's wrong?"

His eyes went to her mother, who stood behind her. But he shook his head and replied, "You can't stay here when you get back."

"Why not?"

"Mother is… well, she's gone a bit mental, with all that's happened… and I don't feel like you'd be safe. If she'd do what she did with the whole Ministry thing, I wouldn't put anything past her."

"Okay," began Luci slowly. "I can find another place to stay. Should we just go then?"

She gestured back towards her mother.

"Yes," said Draco, "but will you let me know when you get back to London?"

"Of course."

To her great amazement, her brother stepped forward and hugged her, however briefly.

Letting go, he added, "I've missed you. Come see me at Hogwarts as soon as you can, all right?"

"Absolutely," she agreed. "I've missed you too."

Draco smiled warmly, but he still looked troubled.

"I won't be long," Luci assured him. "Just be careful and try to keep your spirits up."

He shrugged his lean shoulders.

"We're gonna go, but I love you, and I'll see you soon," she concluded, before turning to leave through the gates.

"You too," he called after her, and she wondered to which part he was referring.

* * *

Why were overseas flights so bloody interminable?

It felt like many nights had passed by the time Luci and Melissa Keegan had landed in Phoenix.

They were meandering slowly out of the baggage claim area. Thankfully, they had gone through customs during their stop-over in Dallas. Luci was ready to fall into her bed for awhile.

But there was Kristen, running towards her, her long arms outstretched.

Her very tall best friend picked her up and flew her into the air, causing her to drop her satchel.

"Oh my god, how long has it been?" she squealed, putting Luci onto her feet again.

"Almost seven months," Josh answered, before coming forward to embrace her, as well.

Amy was last, and her hug the most concise.

"Wow, I'd almost forgotten what you guys looked like," breathed Luci, her heart racing with affection.

"We were worried you weren't coming back!" chimed Amy.

And Luci could feel her mother eying her, scolding. She hadn't yet told any of them that she was planning to move to London permanently. She was terrified of their reactions. But she'd have to explain soon…

"Rubbish," she said to them, and they laughed in unison.

Kristen teased, "Guess seven months will turn you British."

Everyone was taking a piece of luggage, as Luci had somehow accumulated much more than what she'd originally taken with her.

As tired as she'd been when they'd landed, she was feeling energized now. They were all chattering happily, and it didn't cease until Kristen's SUV pulled into the Keegans' driveway.

Oh, she had been away for so long…

The little house sat right where she'd left it. The garden wasn't as bright as she remembered, with many of the plants hibernating for the winter, but everything else looked the same.

Once inside, her eyes fell on Persephone, who mewed reproachfully. Ignoring the cat's protests, Luci scooped her up and snuggled her tightly. Persy pawed obstinately at her cheek, a little frown etched into her face. Luci giggled and released the cat, who flew towards the floor and scampered off.

It was good to be home. Even her nose was delighting in the familiarity.

But she wasn't whole here. It was like a piece of her heart was missing when she wasn't with Harry. This gaping, empty space resided in her chest, even though it was so very wonderful to see her friends again.

"I'll help you to your room with the luggage," offered Josh.

"Sure," agreed Luci, before noticing Kristen and Amy exchanging a significant look.

She raised her eyebrows at the pair of them, but led Josh down the hallway to her room.

For the first time in their history, she was a little afraid to be alone with him. This fear heightened when he shut her bedroom door, dropped her trunk, and took her into his strong arms. His chest was warm, and he felt so… comfortable. And so huge. She'd forgotten how tall he stood, taller even than Draco.

When he put her down again, she said awkwardly, "Let's go back out to the living room."

"Not yet."

Luci saw the intention in his deep brown eyes even before he moved to kiss her.

Barely escaping, she backed away.

"What's the matter?" he asked anxiously.

She didn't answer.

"You said we could try this," he whined. "I waited for you. I didn't see anyone else." He frowned, and she observed it registering in his face. "Wait… did _you_?"

Taking a breath, she replied, "I'm just home to pack… and to say a proper goodbye."

"Proper _goodbye_?" Josh nearly cried. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm going back," she said, her voice very quiet compared to his. "For the indefinite future."

He blinked. "Why?"

She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth. It was difficult to explain, especially knowing that he hadn't gotten over this ridiculous notion of dating her. Meanwhile, she'd been dating someone else.

Her stomach swooned at the thought of Harry – his asymmetrical face donning those round glasses, his magnificent voice, his blazing skin, his divine lips…

Clearing her throat, she finally attempted, "I really bonded with my brother, and we need to be near each other right now. Our father–"

Josh put up his hand abruptly to stop her.

"I've only seen you this way once before," he accused her angrily. "What's his name?"

She sighed. He had her, and she knew it.

"Harry."

He scoffed, and his eyes had gone red. "I knew it. And that's a _terrible_ name."

A short, clumsy laugh escaped her. "I know."

"Wait… Harry _Potter_?"

Luci nodded.

"But isn't he like… twelve?" he bit.

"He's seventeen," she corrected him.

"Seven_teen_? My _god_, Luci!"

"He's… _old_ for his age…"

Josh made a low, harsh sound.

"I don't know what to say," she whimpered helplessly.

"Say that it isn't true and that you're staying at home, where you belong."

"I can't. I'm sorry."

"Who _are_ you now?" he hissed. "What happened to you over there?"

Shaking her head, Luci tried to expound, "I built a relationship with my brother, and I… fell desperately in love. I can't help it. I hate this, but I don't wanna to be away from either of them."

"But you wanna be away from me? And Kristen and Amy?"

"No, of _course_, I don't!" she wailed. "But I had to make a choice."

"And you chose _them_?" barked Josh. "You were only there a few months! I've known you almost your entire life!"

"When you fall in love, you'll under–"

"I _am_ in love!" he cried. "With a girl who is breaking my heart!"

"Josh, _please_ don't do this to me," she was weeping now. "You aren't in love with me, and you know it."

"Right," he spat, gritting his teeth.

She looked remorsefully up at him, and he shook his head.

"How can you let _him_ love you, when you would never let me?"

Luci didn't know the answer. They were nothing alike, except for being stubborn. She felt like it was entirely a matter of chemistry, but that was only half of it. The truth was that Josh was too overbearing for her.

But she couldn't tell him this, so all she did was shrug, "I don't know."

"You don't know," he growled. "I've done everything I can think of to show you that I care about you, and you can't even tell me why you chose someone else?"

"We just… connected."

Josh's nostrils were flaring. "You and I have been _connected_ for… ever! We're best friends! It would be easy and natural and you could stay here, and things could get back to normal!"

"Josh…" she started carefully, "I don't think I _want_… easy. Or normal. Harry and I had to fight like mad for what we have, and we appreciate it all the more. He makes me feel like… like I could never be his best friend, because we are so very much more than that. It's this magical bond that I can't even verbalize…"

"Now you're just _trying_ to hurt me!" he yelled at her.

"No!" she dissented. "I'm trying to _explain_! Please! I can't leave here on bad terms with you."

"Well, maybe you should have considered that before throwing this into my face! If I have to stay on bad terms to keep you here, I will!"

He stormed out, and she followed him, pleading for him to listen, all the way past her friends in the living room. But when he slammed the front door closed behind him, she let him go.


	46. Chapter FortySix: OpenEnded

**Chapter Forty-Six: Open-Ended**

"So I take it you told him?" said her mother immediately, when Luci ambled pitifully into the living room and slumped onto the couch.

She nodded, and Kristen said, "And now, you'd better tell _us_."

Both she and Amy were sitting forward in their chairs.

"I'll make a pot of coffee," proposed her mother, before leaving the room.

"Tea," Luci called after her, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

Then she faced her two remaining best friends and inhaled heavily.

"Don't worry," pacified Amy. "We're not in love with you, so we won't lose our tempers."

"I might," added Kristen softly.

"He's _not_ in love with me," Luci said irritably. "He just thinks he is right now because he can't have me. He'll be in love with one of you next week."

"He _was_ in love with Sam for awhile there in November…" mused Amy.

Kristen huffed impatiently.

Putting her hand to her aching head, Luci blurted, "Mom and I are moving to Britain."

Neither of the girls looked surprised, but Kristen asked, "So it worked out with Harry Potter then?"

Luci was unable to stop the grin from forming on her face, and it was all the answer they needed.

"So you're moving to Britain for a _boy_?" charged Kristen. "Boys _never_ last, you know."

Luci sighed. "I would move there only for him, yes. But I'm moving there for Draco too. He needs me. His family has fallen apart. And I _really_ do love it there."

"_We_ need you too," said Amy, sounding more somber than Luci had ever heard her.

It caused her heart to sink. How could she do this? How could she leave everyone that she loved, all that she knew? What if Harry decided that he didn't want her, and Draco refused to let her comfort him, and…?

Well, even so, it would be worth it. And she had friends there too, girls to talk to, Fleur and Hermione. And even if Harry dumped her next month, any time she had with him would be the most spectacular time…

"I'm sorry," she faltered. "This is so hard."

The three girls sat there in silence for a long while. Luci was trying to summon Harry's face to the forefront her mind, so that she couldn't forget her motivations.

Finally, Kristen questioned, "Will you _never_ come back?"

Luci met her gaze. "Don't be silly. I'll visit as often as I can. And you guys can come see us too. I want you to meet Harry and Draco and all of the Weasleys."

"What's a Weasley?" asked Amy.

Luci and Kristen laughed simultaneously, and Amy tilted her head to one side in bafflement.

"Well," said Kristen, after a moment, "I might die without you. But I hope you'll be happy."

"You won't _die_," rebuked Luci, and then, "Hey, where's Maggie?"

Amy gave Luci a warning shake of her head.

"Oh. Never mind."

"No, it's okay," Kristen sighed. "We're… taking a break."

"Your idea or hers?"

"Mine."

Luci beamed proudly at her. "Good for you."

"Maybe it is," grumbled Kristen, "but it sure doesn't _feel_ good. None of this does."

"You could come with me," Luci suggested. "Study abroad for awhile, meet some nice British girls. And boys."

"Oh, thanks, and leave me here by myself?" complained Amy.

"You have Justin."

Looking back and forth at the pair of them, Luci asked sharply, "Who's _Justin_?"

"A guy she's been dating," Kristen elaborated.

"Oh, you've got a bloke, Amy? When can I meet him?"

"He is not a _bloke_," Amy said. "It's casual."

"So we can all have dinner together sometime this week?" prodded Luci.

"That's not fair. You don't have to introduce your guy to your friends."

"I would, though. Do you think we won't like him?"

"No," sighed Amy. "It's just weird."

"I'm sure it'll be fun," she grinned. "You'll come, Kristen?"

Her best friend nodded her auburn head, and then said, "Studying abroad sounds like a really good idea."

"You should do it," responded Luci, and then she yawned.

"Go have a nap," insisted Amy, getting to her feet, followed shortly by Kristen. "You look jet-lagged. We'll come back tonight to pick you up and we'll all go out. I'll get Josh to come along too and you guys can patch things up."

"Easier said than done," muttered Luci glumly.

Back in her colorful room, lying in her own soft bed, she felt a little like it had all been a dream. She was in such a contrasting environment here, at home, where things were warm and cozy and well-kept. There was a strange sensation that she'd never left at all…

She was trying to fall asleep, but all she could think about was how much she wanted to talk to Harry. Yet, she couldn't call him, as there were no phones at Grimmauld Place, and an owl would take too long. So two weeks…

Although, why did she even need to stay that long? She could go back as soon as she got everything packed, all of the details sorted. If she worked quickly…

But she needed just a little rest first.

* * *

The three girls were enjoying dinner together, later that evening, when a chair was pulled out next to Luci, and Josh plopped down into it.

"Hi," he muttered.

She gave him a guarded smile. "Hi."

"Sorry about earlier."

"No, you're not."

"No, I'm not," he agreed quietly, and then, "Hi guys."

Kristen nodded at him, but Amy piped up, "We thought the two of you could work it out with a few referees."

"That's not necessary," Luci said. "_I'm_ sorry, Josh. The worst thing I ever did was let you believe that we could have a future. That was never an option for me. I tried to tell you…"

"I know you did," he said, exhaling in defeat. "I just kept thinking that it was because you hadn't gotten over Mark. But obviously, you have."

She nodded.

"I just didn't expect it to be with someone else. And so soon."

"_Soon_?" scoffed Amy. "It's been _four years_!"

Josh frowned at her, and she murmured, "Sorry."

"I was really unfair to you," continued Luci, as if it was just the pair of them sitting there. "I hope you can forgive me and… wish me luck overseas."

His jaw tightened, and after a long pause, he replied, "There's nothing to forgive. I was living in my head. But I still don't want you to go."

"Neither do I," concurred Kristen.

"I don't know what else to do," Luci responded helplessly. "I'm already wasting away from missing them."

"Won't you miss _us_?" Kristen whined.

"Of course, I will," she assured, "but you guys can get on without me. Draco can't, at this point. And hopefully, Harry can't either, because I know _I_ can't without _him_."

Next to her, Josh cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Anyway," Luci rerouted, "can we all just enjoy each other while I'm here? And someone can tell me about this Sam person?"

"Oh, yeah," said Kristen, "Josh was going to have her babies there for awhile."

Luci looked over at him, and his cheeks were flaring red, but he didn't disagree.

"So what went wrong?" she asked him.

"I'm too _clingy_, apparently," he muttered.

She almost laughed, because someone had finally told him the truth, but instead, she consoled, "Someday your princess will come."

He shifted in his seat, and everyone fell into an awkward silence. Luci picked at her chicken fried steak, wishing that she hadn't said anything. But she was _still_ curious, to be honest.

After awhile, Amy sighed abruptly, "Man, I'm really going to miss your mom's brownies."

* * *

Luci was going to have to sell most of this stuff. She'd never realized how much junk she'd accumulated over all of these years in one house.

Presently, she was digging through her closet, all the way to the back, and was coming across everything from grade school Valentines to pleather go-go boots that she'd worn when she was an insecure pre-teen.

"I think I'll steal this," came Kristen's voice, and Luci popped her head out to see her best friend holding a toy record player. "To remind me of days gone by. Or decades, really."

"Is that an attempt at a guilt trip?" accused Luci.

"Is it working?"

"Yes," she sighed, leaning forlornly against the doorframe of the closet.

Kristen came and sat down next to her. "Tell me about Harry Potter. Is he worth it? How did you two get to this point? Last I heard, he had a girlfriend, and she wasn't you."

Luci chewed her bottom lip. "Tis a long story."

"Better get started then."

So she divulged everything to her best friend – every detail, every vibration that had shuddered through her, every word he'd said, every moment leading up to finally finding each other. By the end, she was electric with the memories, nearly throbbing at wanting to see him again.

"Wow," breathed Kristen. "He _sounds_ worth it. I'm kind of jealous."

"_Jealous_?" Luci scoffed. "Why?"

"Because he's loyal."

He _was_ loyal. And wonderful. And she could never deserve him.

"Kristen… Maggie was–"

"Don't."

But Luci continued anyway. "She was mentally unstable, and an idiot for not treating you right."

Kristen took a slow breath. "Thanks, but it doesn't help."

"I know. True in any case, though."

"I really am happy for you, you know. It just sucks that you're leaving."

"It does suck," agreed Luci. "But you should come too."

Kristen gave a short laugh. "I'm considering it, believe it or not."

"Really?" Luci cried hopefully.

"Don't get excited. I'm just saying that life is kind of open-ended right now."

Luci grinned. "As it always should be."

* * *

There was one final thing that she must do. She had been thinking about it ever since she'd told Harry why her wounds had healed. But she was dreading it. It would be wretched. But Saturday had come, and she had to take advantage of the weekend.

She appeared beside a procession of lockers. She hadn't been inside of her Muggle high school since she was fourteen years old, when Dumbledore had brought the truth that had set her free. Still, it was too soon. Her knees were shaking as she began to approach the girls' bathrooms.

Opening the heavy door slowly, she stepped inside. It swung closed behind her.

And she was immediately assailed by the memories again. She could almost sense the knife in her right hand. She had brought it from home and hidden it in her backpack. That particular resolute morning was clear in her head as she walked towards the last of the five mirrors that hung against the wall.

This was the one. She stared at her reflection. It wasn't the same girl. That girl had sported short silver hair and round cheeks and haunted grey eyes.

Today, Luci's hair fell around her small shoulders, and her cheekbones were finally defined, and her eyes were… releasing a floodgate of tears. Overcome with a multitude of emotion, she simply stood there and watched herself sob.

She could remember wanting to die.

_No one will miss you_, echoed the words in her head.

But she was so grateful to be here. If she had succeeded, she would never have known Harry or Draco or… or acceptance or love or happiness. These things were real and tangible now.

And her thirteen-year-old self was just a ghost. A ghost that would remain in the past, where it belonged.

She sat down on the cold linoleum, the same place where she had laid in a pool of her own warm blood. Even now, putting it behind her, she experienced such all-encompassing guilt. Would she ever be able to forgive herself?

But she must, in order to move on. And she _would_, eventually. She had time.

* * *

She had everything that she needed.

Boxes had been mailed to her new apartment in Maida Vale, a suburb of London, the only location she'd been able to secure at this late date. Her mother was staying in Arizona for awhile to sell or give away the rest, and to figure out what to do with the house. She would also be applying for jobs overseas, as she had been unable to get a transfer from her current place of employment.

Luci hoped that she could count on a position at the Ministry when her license was reinstated, but in the meanwhile, she thought she might look into taking up teaching. After all, she would have a long stretch of time in which to do her research.

"This is _awful_," Kristen was sniveling, as Luci was loading her belongings into her mother's sedan.

Josh was heaving the trunk into the other side of the back seat, and his eyes were bloodshot.

"I don't know why you have to leave five days early," he grumbled.

"I'm _dying_," she nearly whispered in response, and he released a low sound.

Amy was looking stoic at the hood of the car, and she commented, "Josh, you're just making it harder on everyone."

"Shut up, Amy," he spat at her.

Justin, who was standing next to his girlfriend, placed a lean arm around her shoulders. Luci liked him. He was right for Amy, in a lot of ways, but mostly because he seemed aware that her still waters ran deep, no matter how little she let it show.

"You _guys_," whined Luci, "I know this sucks, but I need you all to take care of each other."

"This is the most selfish thing you've ever done, Luci."

"Yes, Josh, it _is_," she fumed. "Because I've _never_ been selfish before, and I think it's about bloody time. And I refuse to fight with you. Give me a hug."

Defeated, he came over and wrapped his burly arms around her.

"I hate you," he muttered feebly.

At that moment, Melissa Keegan came strolling out the front door, locking it behind her, and calling, "Ready, Luci?"

She sighed. Yes, she was ready to get back to Harry and to Draco, to reconnect the pieces of her heart, but she could never be prepared for this farewell. Her chest was aching relentlessly.

Josh pressed her tightly to him, and she couldn't keep the tears from cascading down her face.

"Come visit soon, okay?" she choked through her emotions.

"I'll try," he answered gruffly.

She looked up to see that he was crying too, and it made her convulse into sobbing. And then, Amy and Kristen were there, throwing arms around her. And Luci wept against them, feeling Kristen's body shuddering as much as her own.

After a long while, her mother called delicately, "We can't be late."

Luci backed away from them slowly. They all looked as miserable as she felt. Once again, she questioned her actions, but she knew that the uncertainly would disappear the moment that she saw him again.

"I love you guys," she said to them, and they echoed her in a chorus.

She didn't know what else to do, so she just gave a pathetic wave of her hand and got into the passenger seat of the car. Her mother started the engine, and they were backing out of the driveway.

The last thing Luci saw was Kristen nearly collapsing into Josh's arms, and it made her heart shatter in her chest. It would be the scene that would haunt her for as long as she lived. But she was making the right decision. The _hardest_ decision, but the right one. He was waiting for her.


	47. Chapter FortySeven: The Room of Requrmnt

**Chapter Forty-Seven: The Room of Requirement (corresponds with POTP Chapter 33)**

Luci wandered curiously into the massive Library. She'd never been to this part of the school before, and she was devouring all of the architectural beauty with her eyes.

Then her gaze fell on a table a few yards ahead. The three of them were sitting together with their noses in a pile of books. Her heart started like an engine revving. Harry's dark strands were falling into his face, covering his eyes, and the fingers of his right hand were tapping rhythmically against the binding of his book. She had been away from him for far too long…

Approaching the table, she interrupted, "Hi there."

All three of them looked up, but she only had eyes for Harry. His face broke into a huge grin upon seeing her, and her stomach danced. It felt as if she had come home after a long journey, and every doubt she'd had was melted away.

"I hoped I'd find you here."

Bolting from his seat, upsetting a few books in the process, he rushed around to her side of the table, crying, "You're early!"

She propelled into his arms, going electric at his touch, and then turned her chin up to murmur, "Couldn't stay away."

He brought his mouth to hers, causing her heart to launch searing heat all throughout her body, which began to pool somewhere around her stomach.

Suddenly, he broke the kiss and backed away from her.

Her chest tightened in alarm. "What's wrong?"

Ron grumbled, "What's wrong is you lot snogging in public places."

"Ronald!" scolded Hermione.

But Luci's stare had never left Harry's face. Oh, how she'd missed everything about him…

Finally, he muttered, "There's something I need to tell you."

She abruptly felt sick with dread, but she said, "I'm listening."

"We should sit down."

He pulled a seat out for her, and she plunked down next to him, realizing that she hadn't even greeted Ron or Hermione. She noticed that they were wearing Head Boy and Head Girl badges, respectively.

"How are you guys?" she asked them timorously.

Ron bit, "Eh," but Hermione waved her hand dismissively, replying, "Don't mind him. Things are getting better."

Ron scowled sideways at his girlfriend, but didn't comment.

"After you left, I had a… visitor," Harry continued, ignoring them. "Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth, evidently. He came to Grimmauld Place to give me some of my parents' things. But it wasn't his real reason for showing up. He told me– Luci, this is going to change everything."

She clenched her jaw, terrified, but before she could speak, Hermione piped up, "Harry, just tell her. It won't change anything, I promise."

He grimaced, took a sharp breath, and continued, "My scar. It's not because Voldemort tried to kill me. It's because he accidently made me into a Horcrux."

Luci gasped.

"Dumbledore took it out, the piece of his soul. The night my parents died. But… that's why he could see into my head, why I can speak Parseltongue, why I defeated him. He had meant to kill me and use that murder to create a Horcrux, but something happened, and instead, my mother's murder sent the piece of his soul into me. And they got it out, but… but it's bloody sickening. I'm sorry."

Luci shook her head, baffled. This was all? _This_ was what he thought would change everything? Why?

"Well, that explains the scar," she mused aloud, overcome with relief. "But it doesn't change anything, does it?"

"She's kind of right, actually," concurred Hermione.

"But I'm…" choked Harry. "I'm…"

"What?" Luci cut in. "_Broken_?"

They'd said it before, that they both were, and she didn't see how it was any truer now than it had been.

He sighed, looking completely miserable. "Yes. And… disgusting and tainted…"

Luci furrowed her brow, unable to comprehend why it mattered so much to him, aside from the lunacy of it all. It had happened, what, sixteen years ago? And he was behaving as though it made him a different person.

"Harry," she began gently, "it doesn't change who you are and it doesn't change the past. I understand why it bothers you, but you're acting like one simple new truth has turned the world on its axis."

Hermione agreed again, "She's got a point. You're free and unburdened now!"

Ron banged his fist against the desk. "Don't you two get it? He feels _dirty_ and _that's_ the problem."

Luci shared a surprised frown with Hermione, and Harry admitted, "That's _exactly_ the problem."

She hated that his troubles never seemed to be over, and all she wanted to do was comfort him, and promise him an easier future, a fresh beginning, with her by his side. Beneath the table, she took his right hand and laced their fingers together.

"Listen," she began, "you were thrown into a fate that wasn't of your choosing. And awful things have happened to you. To all three of you. But you can't stew over what can't be changed. You have to go forward. _We_ have to go forward."

Harry's mouth dropped open. "You really aren't… _revolted_ by me?"

Oh! _That's_ what he'd been afraid of! She laughed aloud at the absurdity of it.

"I could never be revolted by you! You're my heart." Then she almost put her hand to her mouth, mortified by what she had emitted. She looked to Ron and Hermione and whispered, "Sorry."

Hermione grinned in return, and nudged her boyfriend, suggesting, "Ron, we should let them be alone."

Luci wanted nothing more, especially due to her blushing, but she stopped them. "Actually, I have some… well, _bad_ news of my own. More upsetting than bad, I guess."

It wasn't news, exactly. But they should know what had happened, that she was responsible for all of it, and in any case, they were all eyeing her in anticipation.

"I can't stay at Malfoy Manor, so I'm getting an apartment."

Hermione tilted her head to one side. "That's _good_ news."

"Well, you haven't heard my reason…" countered Luci timidly, and Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Um. Draco told me that Narcissa set us up. At the Ministry. When my father got out of Azkaban, the two of them rallied together, tried to get back into Voldemort's favor. She staged Draco's kidnapping – Draco had nothing to do with it – and told Voldemort that you'd come for him, Harry, because you cared about me. Nothing got past her, apparently. So. Of course, the point of it all is that it was my fault. I should have known that it was a trap. So, because of me, Ron, you've lost your mother and your brother and I will live with that guilt for the rest of my life. I'd do anything to take it ba–"

"Luci, stop."

She met Ron's blue eyes, and they were filled with valiant tears.

"Everyone in my family… they're fighters, and they were going to end up in a battle with Voldemort no matter what. We all were. So don't be so arrogant as to think you had that much influence."

"Right…" she nodded, stunned, affronted. "Right. Of course not."

Harry and Hermione both rebuked, "Ron!"

"What?" the red-head replied dully. "I'm trying to make her feel better."

But she felt _terrible_. Even more culpable than before. And entirely rejected. Her boyfriend's best friend hated her. Relationships never worked if his friends hated you.

She let go of Harry's hand and got to her feet. Trying to sound blithe, she said to Ron, "_We'll_ go. This place is far too public for snogging anyway."

But he didn't bother to look up at all, despite Harry standing and adding, "See you later."

"Have fun," responded Hermione.

And even with his hand again in hers, the awful sensations in Luci's gut wouldn't subside.

Outside the room, Harry questioned, "Your _heart_?"

The heat already in her cheeks blazed relentlessly. "Sorry… that just… popped out."

"No, I like it," he grinned. "It's sappy."

She gave him a gauche smile in return, and he laughed, pulling her into stride next to him and leading her away from the Library.

"So Ron. Wow."

He took a shallow breath. "I know. Can't blame him, I guess."

"Just didn't know how much he hated me," whimpered Luci dejectedly.

"He doesn't hate _you_," Harry reassured her. "He hates every_one_ and every_thing_. He'll… get back to normal eventually."

"I hope so. I don't seem to have many fans lately. Things in Arizona were rough."

"What happened?" he prodded, squeezing her hand.

"Kristen was inconsolable, and Josh was spiteful, saying really mean things. And no one made it easy on me. No one said, 'I'm so happy for you; best of luck.' And I realize that I'm being selfish, but they don't even seem to care that it's hard enough, leaving everything…"

Harry stopped walking, so she stopped too and looked up at him. There was no one around. Finally. He linked his arms around her waist and tugged her forward.

"You didn't _have_ to leave everything, you know."

"The only other choice was leaving _you_," she answered quietly. "And I couldn't."

A smile played on his lips, and it slipped into his eyes as he said, "I'm glad. I don't think I could have handled it."

"Me neither."

"I'm sorry it was dreadful," he comforted her. "Is that why you came back early?"

"No," admitted Luci. "I came back early because I missed you."

"I missed you too. _So_ much," he breathed, before leaning down and kissing her.

Longer this time. More deeply. It was exquisite. Sparks were igniting across her skin, raising every hair, tickling every nerve. And it had been difficult to leave her friends. But _this_ was worth everything…

Footsteps became audible, and they broke apart just in time to see a small man rounding the corner.

"Afternoon, Professor Flitwick," coughed Harry.

"Potter," acknowledged the man. "Young lady."

Luci nodded at him, but when he was out of sight, she giggled, "_Young lady_?"

Harry shrugged, grinning and entwining their fingers again.

"Come on, I'll show you some of my favorite spots, and you can tell me what you did in the States."

They walked together, hand in hand, throughout the castle. Luci told him about her time in Arizona, her mother's job search, her new apartment, her eagerness to get back to him. In turn, he informed her more about what he, Ron, and Hermione had been up to now that they were back at school. He wanted to show her the Quidditch pitch, but she insisted that it could wait until a warmer day.

They were strolling about on the seventh floor when Harry halted and said, "Here it is."

"What?" asked Luci, dumbfounded, as the only thing visible was a tapestry depicting a wizard clumsily attempting to teach ballet to a group of trolls. She watched it in amusement.

Harry began to pace back and forth, next to her, and a moment later, to her astonishment, a door appeared on the wall opposite the tapestry.

Opening it, he extended his arm, inviting, "Take a look."

Luci shook her head, perplexed, but stepped into the room ahead of him. She gasped when her eyes fell on… the drawing room at Grimmauld Place?

Harry closed the door behind them and commented, "Wow. This makes sense."

"I'm confused," she told him.

"The Room of Requirement," he explained. "It becomes whatever you need it to be."

"Do we need the drawing room?"

"It would appear so."

"Hmm," she muttered, and then ambled over to the familiar couch and sunk into it.

He was still standing near the doorway, and she beckoned him alluringly with one finger. Beaming, he was next to her in a flash, wrapping her small torso in his arms.

"Have I ever told you that you smell fantastic?" he murmured into her ear.

A shiver went down her neck, but she responded, "No, I don't think you have."

"Well, you do. What is it?"

"Vanilla."

"I've always loved it. It's nice," he concluded feverishly.

And she inched away from him, to the other side of the couch. She wanted him so badly, and she wasn't sure that she could control herself if they stayed so close, with his breath on her skin. This wasn't the real drawing room. This was his _school_. And their time would come. She could wait.

But he huffed in frustration, and she remembered that he'd probably slept with Ginny in this room innumerable times. Gag. Perhaps he expected the same of her.

"I don't mean to tease you," she apologized. "It's not really the best location."

He smiled faintly, and the zeal seemed to fade from his eyes. "You're right. It's just… rare that we're alone."

"So let's take advantage of it," proposed Luci, snuggling up to him again and laying her head on his shoulder. "Tell me about this Horcrux debacle."

"It's gross," he sighed. "I don't even know how you can touch me."

"Harry!" she reprimanded, her head snapping up. "That's crazy!"

He closed his eyes and rubbed his left temple with his free hand.

"Harry," she said again, softly, and he met her gaze. She put a palm to his cheek and went on, "A tiny piece of him was in there a very, very long time ago, but it's gone now, and he's gone _forever_, and you're _you_. The you that you've always been, the you that I love, who is brave and kind and generous, all of the things that Voldemort _never_ was."

"It was a piece of her too," he mumbled forlornly.

"Who?"

"My mum. She died to create it, and it was…"

Ceasing, he sucked in a long breath. Luci didn't know what to say, so she simply rested her head against him once more.

He would always be haunted by his past. Such devastating things had happened to him. She finally felt like she was leaving _her_ past behind, moving on to become someone better, because he deserved someone better. Now, it was time for him to leave his misery in the past too.

After a long while, she asked him, "Do you still have those nightmares?"

He didn't answer right away, although eventually confessed, "Every night. Hey, where's your stuff? Everything you brought to move here?"

She gritted her teeth at his evasion, but replied, "Under a couple of protective charms outside the Hogwarts gates. Why?"

"I was wondering about the flat you're getting," he said, but then, "Wait, did you come straight here?"

"As soon as the plane landed."

He chuckled. "I love you."

"I love you too," she echoed affectionately. "And I haven't seen the flat yet, obviously, but once I get everything set up and you can escape from this place, you are definitely invited to come over."

"Now, _that_ would be a good location," flirted Harry, and she thumped his leg in a playful reproof, but in truth, her heart was pounding.

"I have class soon," he complained, getting to his feet and offering her a hand. "Wanna walk with me to get my books?"

"Of course," she said, as he pulled her up.

She was a little sad to leave the Room of Requirement, partly because she loved being alone with Harry, and partly because it made her feel at ease to be within its familiar walls.

It didn't take them long to reach Gryffindor Tower. Before she knew it, they were stopping in front of a portrait of a large woman in a pink dress. Luci felt a jolt of disappointment, because she should really leave him now. She turned to him to say so, but he seized her mischievously, and before she could speak, he said simply, "Hi."

"Hi," she replied, her grin playing into her voice.

Their faces were so close, and his eyes were so green…

"Do you wanna come in and see the common room?"

She pondered for a moment, but answered, "Some other time. I need to–" She ceased, remembering not to spoil the moment with mentions of her brother. "Well, I have someone else to visit too," she concluded.

Harry gave her a haughty smirk. "Yes, but you came to me _first_."

"Don't gloat," she mock-scolded, with a shake of her head.

"I'll _try_," he said, and then redirected with, "It'll be packed in there, so I'd better send you off out here."

She didn't want to be sent off. But she accepted that she would have to part with him eventually and prodded, "Ooh, what kind of send off?"

A brief flash of that smile and his lips were on her lips, and his hands were on her waist, pulling her against him. Something was different and insistent this time. She purred, involuntarily, returning the kiss with all of the passion flowing through her. He made a fantastic sound in response, and her stomach jolted with desire. And at the realization that she wanted to take a step further, she remembered where they were standing.

She pushed him gently away from her. Her body was vibrating. The noise he'd made was echoing in her head.

Harry was looking at her in puzzlement.

"What?" he panted.

"We're in a _hallway_," she reminded him.

"Oh. Right." He sounded as though he really had forgotten.

She wanted to kiss him again… _No_, she said to herself, and then aloud, "Talking. That's what we need to be doing – talking."

"Talking? Why?"

His expression was one of aggravation, just like it had been in the Room of Requirement.

She sighed, trying to compose herself. "Because it's… harmless."

"Trust me, it's _not_," he growled, obviously disappointed.

Her heart sank with guilt, and she muttered, "Sorry, guess I'd better go. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay," he replied, still breathing heavily.

And Luci knew that she was too. She felt like she should have said something more, but she only turned and headed torpidly in the opposite direction, though she had no idea where the Slytherin common room might be.

When she was out of sight of Harry, and there was no one else in the corridor, she fell against a wall. She could literally combust from the fervor. She could feel that her cheeks were scarlet, her chest heaving. She was madly in love, and high on it, and the lust wasn't bad either. She laughed quietly, before she could stop herself. It was all so ridiculous, when only months ago, she'd been certain that she'd die alone.

She was beginning to understand what Kristen had meant when she'd made that comment about ripping off someone's clothes.

Luci definitely wanted to rip off Harry's clothes…


	48. Chapter FortyEight: Letting Go

**Chapter Forty-Eight: Letting Go**

Luci had stood alone in the hallway for what might have been fifteen minutes, trying to force her mind onto safer things. She had disciplined herself to recite ingredients for various potions and eventually, the haze had cleared. If she was lucky, no one would notice any after effects.

Presently, she was waiting outside the Slytherin dungeon. She had wandered about for a good while before asking directions from a random Hufflepuff student, who was only too happy to point her in the right direction. Now, she only needed someone to come and let her in.

And it wasn't long before a tall black boy was approaching her, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What are you doing, loitering about?" he demanded, when he reached the entrance.

"I'm here to see Draco Malfoy," she told him, and he raised his eyebrows charily, so she added, "He'll be expecting me."

The boy stared at her curiously for a long moment, and she wondered what he was thinking. Finally, he said, "Come in, then," and waved his arm across the stone that blocked their entry.

It shifted aside, and Luci followed him into a long, narrow room, and was immediately enveloped in a strange green glow. She looked around and found the source of light to be green hanging lamps, which were positioned along the stone walls. There was a fireplace and a few pieces of stately furniture, among other strange accoutrements like skulls, candelabras, and tapestries.

Her guide descended a set of stairs, two at a time, and called down, "Malfoy, there's a cute girl to see you."

His tone had been slightly derogatory, but she smiled at the words anyway, and continued to examine the common room. A few students were sitting near the hearth, but no one was paying her much attention. She had found her eyes drawn to a particular painting near one end of the room – two cowering house elves serving a pompous man dressed in green robes.

Draco appeared shortly, alongside the other boy, in the doorway to the room. Upon seeing him, she beamed with joy, but he scowled in response, spitting, "That's my sister, you prat. Say anything like that again and I'll–"

But Luci cut him off and said to the first boy, "Thank you," meaning both for the compliment and for fetching Draco.

Her brother was in a foul mood. "I have enough to deal with, with Potter ogling you all the time, and now these blokes?"

"No one is _ogling_ me. Especially not Harry."

But she had to admit that she didn't mind being ogled anyway. No one had even noticed her existence for so long that a change of pace was nice.

Draco was still glaring at his housemate, so Luci traipsed over and tapped his chest.

He glanced down at her, and she asked, "So how's the last year?"

Her brother frowned thoughtfully. "Oddly uneventful. Dull, in fact. Though people keep asking me about my new sister and how that came about."

"And what do you tell them?"

"To piss off."

She chuckled. "Good. And how's Pansy?"

He gave her an annoyed expression. "That's over. She… Well, she supports the Death Eaters in finding a new leader, and I don't."

Luci gazed affectionately at her brother. "I know you're going to hate me saying this, but I really am proud of you."

Draco made a gagging sound. Then he asked hastily, "Wait, how was the move?"

"It was… hard. But I knew what I had waiting for me here, and I just tried to focus on that."

He looked around quickly to make sure that no one was eavesdropping before imploring, "You mean me, right?"

She smiled and answered truthfully, "Of course."

"Just checking."

"And how is… Lucius?"

"The same," he muttered. "According to Mother. I can't get much out of her. She drinks a lot."

"Drinks?"

"Rum, apparently."

"I'm sorry," Luci sighed. "Come and sit down with me."

She led him over to a pair of empty chairs near the fireplace, and the other students were now gawping pryingly. Luci sat down, but Draco demanded, "What are you staring at?"

No one responded, and he growled, "Get out of here then."

At this, most of the Slytherins got to their feet and scurried away. Only two remained where they were, one of them being the black boy she had talked to earlier, and the other being a pale girl with long dark hair and cold eyes. But neither of them seemed interested in the siblings.

"Wow," breathed Luci, as her brother took the seat next to hers. "Guess you have a little bit of clout around here."

Draco shrugged. "I think they're all scared of me now."

"Why?"

"My father's a werewolf."

"_Our_ father, if it makes you feel any better," she soothed.

But he bit, "It doesn't."

She gave him a long moment, before asking, "Will they send him to Azkaban once he's had a few cycles at St. Mungo's?"

"Rumor has it."

Her brother's expression was resigned, yet forlorn, and Luci couldn't help reaching out and placing her hand on his forearm.

"Will you get to see him again before he goes?"

"Probably not," he answered quietly.

He seemed ill at ease with her touching him in public, so she hastily took her hand away. "Do you _want_ to?"

He looked sideways at her, his brow furrowed.

"Because _I_ do," she went on. "And I'll take you with me. We can both, you know, get some closure or something."

With a grimace, Draco reminded her, "Wasn't it bad enough the last time you saw him? It just made things worse."

"It's different now," she tried to explain. "I don't care what he thinks. I need to let him go. For my own sake."

"Let him go?"

Luci took a long breath. "Yeah. I'm hanging onto this idea that I might someday get some answers out of him. But maybe there are no answers. And in order to move on, I have to… absolve him, I guess, and let go. Or it'll weigh me down forever. And it'll affect _our_ relationship, which would suck."

Her brother's grey eyes were penetrating hers, as if he were searching for something.

"Why would it affect us?" he questioned.

"Because," she began, pursing her lips. "I'm… angry that you were good enough for him to stay, and to love, and I wasn't. And I refuse to hold that against _you_. But… I struggle."

His face relaxed into something like pity before he gave in, "All right. Let's go see him. I don't want to be punished for his crimes."

"I would never punish you!" exclaimed Luci, her jaw going slack.

"You might someday," said Draco solemnly. "I would, if I were you. But I couldn't bear it if you did."

She smirked. "Wow, Drake, I think you've gone softer than I ever did."

"Shut up," he snarled. "_I_, for one, still loathe Potter."

"For _now_," she teased him.

"For_ever_," he insisted.

* * *

The room with the cage seemed to smell even worse this time. Luci and Draco were both coughing uncomfortably against the odor as soon as the guard had shown them through the door.

"Why have you brought her again, Draco?" growled their father immediately in greeting.

Her brother stiffened next to her, gave another small cough, and then answered, "_We_ thought it might be our last chance to see you before you're sent to Azkaban."

Lucius roared agitatedly, slamming against the bars that were separating him from his children.

Luci couldn't help emitting a small squeak and hopping backwards. He really had become quite menacing, most of the humanity having slipped from his features, even more so in the small amount of time that had passed since she'd last seen him.

"Do I frighten you, Mudblood?" he spat at her.

"I think your blood's as muddy as mine," she countered icily. "Probably more, of course, since you aren't even human anymore."

"Stop it!" cried Draco, his gaze darting back and forth between them. "This is _it_! This is all we have."

She ceased at once, as she'd never seen her brother this vulnerable. It was like he was a little boy suddenly realizing that he was losing his father forever. And she supposed that he was, and that _she_ had lost her father a long, long time ago. This was Draco's chance for goodbye, not her own.

Setting her jaw firmly, she looked into the distant, feral eyes of Lucius Malfoy, and let go of that pain for good.

"I forgive you," she said, her voice hushed with finality. "You don't own any part of me anymore."

Tears were sliding slowly down her cheeks, and she wasn't sure if it was the bitterness finally spilling out or the joy at the prospect of her freedom or the sorrow for her brother. But she took Draco's left hand in both of her own, looked up into his poignant grey eyes, and said, "Take as long as you need," before releasing him and turning to leave the room.

Outside, she found that same bench that she and Draco had shared the last time that they'd been here. She sat there for a long time, pondering her promise to herself. No, she hadn't forgiven her father yet, but she would someday, and for now, she had let go. She would move on, to a life where she wasn't imprisoned by her scars, and it would be exhilarating.

It was nearly half an hour later when her brother emerged from the room. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked utterly defeated.

Luci stood and hurried to him, demanding, "What happened? You want me to kick his ass?"

Draco gave a small scoff, his tall frame nearly crumpling.

"It's like it's not even him anymore," he sniveled. "I kept trying to… to say goodbye, but… he doesn't have a heart anymore. And he used to. You won't believe it, but he used to. At least, where I was concerned… I guess it's like he's… _dead_. Isn't it?"

Having no words, just aching for him, she merely wrapped her arms around her brother, and they stood there for a very long time, in silent grief for their mutual loss.

* * *

The apartment was a bit cramped, but it would do, with a little work.

Luci had taken Draco back to Hogwarts and was now standing in her very own living area, staring at all of her unopened boxes, scattered along the floor, and feeling overwhelmed. There was a huge window dominating the whole wall to her left, and the setting sun was pouring in viciously. She would need some window dressings. The other walls, which were all a kind of peach in color, were bare. The tiny kitchen was to her right, and she was grateful to see a dishwasher and a refrigerator.

She meandered past this room and into the next, which was the one and only bedroom, joined to the one and only bathroom, both smaller than she would have hoped. And this was it.

It would take some getting used to.

And she had a lot of shopping to do. She would need a bed, and a desk, and… so many other things. She wished her mother were here to help her. Or Kristen. Maybe she could call Fleur…

Sighing, she sat down on the floor in the middle of the empty bedroom. She took a quill and parchment from her bag and started to make a list of essentials, but ended up writing out a message to Harry. It was time for him to discover the kind of closure that she had just experienced, so that they could start this crazy new life together.


	49. Chapter FortyNine: The Tower

**Chapter Forty-Nine: The Lightning Struck Tower (corresponds with POTP Chapter 33)**

A few days later, Luci received a response from Harry. She had asked him to meet her in the Astronomy Tower, the one he'd mentioned from his nightmares, and he had answered,

"_No, Luci. Pick another place. I miss you. Love, Harry"_

She smiled at his adorable handwriting and sent the owl on its way, empty-handed. She felt a little guilty about not scribbling even a quick reply, but whether he knew it or not, he needed to go back to that place. Just like she had needed to go back to her stupid high school, and back to that disgusting room with the cage. It was necessary for his future. So she simply tucked the note into her new oak desk and went about unpacking her boxes.

London was the best place in the world to find furniture. She had gone into numerous eccentric little shops, sometimes with Tonks or Fleur in tow, and found what she thought to be precious antiques, but the British had a different idea of what was ancient. If it was made two hundred years ago, why, that was modern! So Luci had ended up with some beautiful pieces, without hemorrhaging her savings account too much.

Perhaps she could find some work in the interim between now and her license being reinstated… She would look into it Tuesday, after she saw Harry in the Tower.

* * *

She arrived before he did. It was yet another new area of the castle for her, and the wonders never ceased. Rapt, she ambled slowly into the massive, round parapet, out of breath from climbing the steep spiral staircase. The turret had battlements, which surprised her, and she studied them briefly before making her way over to the railing that looked out over the grounds of Hogwarts.

"Why here?" came Harry's voice.

Luci rounded hurriedly, excited to see him, and chirped, "Hi."

"Why _here_?" he repeated, his teeth clenched.

His irritation didn't surprise her, and she said calmly, "Because you needed to come back. To get rid of the nightmares."

"That's not your call to make, Luci," he seethed, perhaps a little angrier than she'd anticipated. "You can't just drag me up here and expect me to be ready for something just because you think I should be."

She shook her head at him. She'd made a mistake.

"I didn't mean…" she whimpered. "It's just the only thing that you haven't come to terms with. I thought you might like the opportunity…"

"What the bloody hell would make you think that? I watched someone I loved fall from that window and _die_!"

Harry looked so racked with agony that she felt sympathy stabbing at her from all sides.

"You… you're kind of getting closure in a lot of places, and I thought…" she started, but there was nothing to say that would make it all right. "I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry. But… neither of us can go forward the way that we… _were_. I haven't been whole, because I've hated myself too much, and I want to give you someone who _is_ whole. Someone who can love you the way that you deserve to be loved."

He was staring at her in disbelief, and guilt washed over her, but then he waved his hand, as if he thought that she had more to say. And she supposed that she did.

"We were talking about trying to forgive ourselves," she continued cautiously. "So when I was at home, I went to the place where I tried to kill myself. And I sat there. For hours and hours. Crying and trying to figure out how to forgive something like that… Finally, I just promised that I'd do it eventually. And… the other day, after I left here, I went to see my father, and I told him that I'd forgiven him. And I don't know how true it is yet, but I've _decided_ to do it. I've decided to leave the past… in the past. To turn my back on regret. So that you and I, we can just… be together, be happy."

She took a step closer to him, concluding, "But when you told me you were still having nightmares, I knew that you needed to face your demons too. It's just too soon, I guess…"

Harry sucked in a breath. "No, you're right. I _do_ have to face it eventually… and forgive Dumbledore and Snape and myself and your git brother… all of us."

"I shouldn't have rushed you," she apologized meekly. "Or surprised you."

"You tend to go about things the wrong way," he grumbled, and Luci immediately hung her head, ashamed to have made yet another misstep with him. Would she ever get anything right?

"But I know that you have good intentions," he appeased, but she could only nod, wishing that she could take it all back.

Then, he was coming towards her, into the room, his jaw set with determination, and she hoped that maybe she hadn't been so wrong after all…?

Once he was next to her, she reached for his hand, feeling those familiar sparks at the contact. "That nightmare – you were looking down from the window, yeah?"

Harry gave her a sharp bob of his head, and they walked together in that direction. He had slammed his eyes shut, and his breath was coming more rapidly. She wanted to tell him that they could leave now, but instead, she asked, "And you're still having it?"

"Yes," he huffed.

"Every night?"

"Every night."

They were standing there, and Luci was looking out over the grounds again. But his eyes were still closed, his brow still furrowed with recollection. She didn't want to move him, but she felt the need to embrace him, so she stepped behind him and folded her arms around his thin body. Her head fell between his warm shoulder blades, and she pressed herself to him, nearly melting, but managing to breathe encouragingly, "No more nightmares. No more guilt. No more shame. I'm done with mine, and you're done with yours. You are loved more than you could ever know. And those of us who love you, we don't blame you for anything, so you have to stop blaming yourself."

"It's not that easy," his voice finally erupted hoarsely.

"No, it's not easy," she agreed, knowing her own struggle. "But _deciding_ to do it – that's the beginning."

Harry didn't respond this time, so she took his cue for silence, and they both simply stood there for a long while. Luci spent the moments relishing in his heat, his rhythmic breathing, his coppery scent. She guessed that half an hour may have passed by the time he wriggled around inside of her arms, coming to face her. She met his eyes, but she didn't speak, and neither did he, for what seemed like many minutes, until he said poignantly, "I love you, Luci."

Her heart fluttered and she whispered, "I want to be worthy of that love."

"You are."

"I will be," she promised.

"There's one more bit of closure that I need," he replied, and at her questioning look, finished, "I need to visit my parents' graves. But I need the Pass to do it."

"It's yours," permitted Luci without pause. "I'll wait here for you until you get back."

"No, I _want_ you there," he insisted.

She frowned uneasily. "Harry, are you _sure_? Your parents' graves?"

He scoffed at her. "You act like you're an intruder in my life! You're _not_. You're _part_ of it. Can't you see that? I would have slugged anyone else who tried this Tower stunt of yours."

"But it's such a personal… _thing_," maintained Luci.

He couldn't possibly know how he would feel when he got there, and if he would want her there… for _that_. She didn't want to infringe anymore than she already had. She couldn't keep assuming.

At her diffidence, he sighed and went on zealously, "Even the stuff that it seems impossible for you to understand, you get it. Like the nightmares. And you haven't lost both of your parents, but it's like you know exactly how it feels. Everything that's happened to me, it's made me so… isolated. But I'm not alone with you. And I need you there."

It was poetic and perfect, and she was convinced.

"When?"

"Now," he said. "But I need Ron and Hermione there too."

"Then let's go get them," she consented, moving to leave the room.

"Wait," he stopped her. "I haven't greeted you properly."

"Huh?" she started to ask, but he'd kissed her in the midst of the word, wrapping his arms around her, even tangling his right hand in her silky hair.

Tiny fireworks began popping inside of her veins, igniting exactly where they'd left off outside of the common room a few days ago. But her memory never did the sensations justice when they were assaulting her again. Each time, it was like new, like she could never be prepared for the magnificence.

When Harry pulled away, she panted absently, "Oh, take me now…"

She was being facetious. Sort of. But he turned bright red. Therefore, _she_ turned bright red.

"I meant…" she stuttered. "I was just… kidding."

"Can't kid about that," he breathed.

"Mmm," agreed Luci. Then she cleared her throat. "I just… _god_, I'm sorry."

He took a step away from her and she felt a wave of humiliation.

Until he showered her in relief by repeating her own words to her. "No, it's just that… It's not really the best location."

Then, he flashed her a huge grin, and she laughed. Perhaps she hadn't come off as a harlot after all. Oh, if only he knew… His experience far outweighed hers. She just had less… discipline. Yes, that was it.

"Then we shall restrain ourselves," she said severely, in her best British accent. "For now."

He shook his head, took her hand, and led her out of the Astronomy Tower, where she would be less tempted, or at least be expected to show some restraint.

* * *

It was extremely cold as Luci stood with Hermione and Ron under the huge tree in the graveyard. The three of them had been watching Harry for a long time, as he kneeled in the grass next to his parents' headstones. He had sobbed at length, and Luci's heart had shattered, witnessing his body shuddering with pain. But she hadn't gone to him. Hermione had practically forbid it.

Presently, he was just rocking back and forth on his heels, and as his back was to them, they couldn't tell if he was still crying. The only sound was the wind and Luci's teeth chattering.

"Here," said Hermione, waving her wand, and a quilt appeared around Luci's shoulders.

"Thanks," Luci smiled faintly, as the brunette conjured a blanket of her own.

"Ron?" she asked her boyfriend, but he just shook his head, his eyes never leaving his best friend, who sat nearly seven yards away from them.

"Do you think he's okay?" asked Luci timidly. "Should we go check on him?"

"He'll let us know when he's ready," assured Hermione, and Luci clenched her jaw in impatience.

But sure enough, it wasn't long before he turned, beckoning with a wild gesture.

"I'll go," Hermione piped up immediately, and then was on her way.

Luci, trying not to resent her, glanced sideways at Ron, but he was staring straight ahead.

"Ron…" she began slowly. "Do you think we'll ever be friends? Me and you?"

He turned his head to frown at her. "Harry _loves_ you. Of course, we're friends."

"Yeah?" she asked uncertainly.

But before he could answer, they noticed Hermione waving at them in summons. Luci took off right away, and as she neared, she could see that Harry's beautiful face was tear-streaked, his green eyes glowing with emotion.

"Luci, come here," he said to her, and she adhered, squatting next to him.

"Are you okay?" she pleaded anxiously.

"Yeah, fantastic," he chirped, taking her cold hand in his.

She looked at him uncertainly.

"You sure, mate?" questioned Ron, who had joined them.

"You _are_ acting a little bizarre, Harry," she nodded, noticing that his jeans were soaked from sitting in the grass.

He grinned at her, squeezing her fingers. "I _feel_ bizarre. You know, Ron, Hermione, the pair of you have basically gotten me through my life? I had no one, absolutely no one, and you both accepted me and stuck with me through all of it."

"Well, we _love_ you, Harry…" answered Hermione slowly.

"I'm all right," he promised the three of them, as they all must look rather perplexed. "Really. Just… I feel like a teenager all the sudden! My parents, they're gone, but they'll never _really_ be gone, you know?"

Luci wasn't sure what to say, but Ron plopped down across from them, sighing, "Harry, I've been awful. I've lost my mum, but you've lost _both_ of your parents. I've had no right to be so harsh. To any of you."

At this last part, he'd peered briefly at Luci, and she wondered if it was his conclusion to the conversation that she'd started under the tree. In any case, her heart buoyed with affection for him.

"Of course you had the right," argued Harry. "Loss is loss."

No one spoke for a long moment, but then Harry murmured abruptly, "Not even a hint of a scar."

Luci followed his gaze to her wrist, which he was caressing softly, and concurred, "Nope."

"Lucky," muttered Ron bitterly, running his hand over his marked face. "No disfigurement for _you_."

Hermione shook her head. "Visible memories, Ron."

"Visible memories," mused Luci. "I love that."

"Scars have their purposes," contributed Harry, but he was looking at the gravestones again.

"Come on, my heart," Luci coaxed him. "If you're ready, I mean. We should get you warm and dry."

"I'm ready," he told her, struggling to his feet.


	50. Chapter Fifty: Cozy

**Chapter Fifty: Cozy**

Luci had tried to take the three of them back to Hogwarts, but Harry was adamant that he wanted to see her new flat, since he'd already been out all day anyway. Hermione, however, was anxious to get back to her classes. So Luci returned Ron and Hermione to the school, and then she and Harry Apparated into London, just outside of her new home.

"It's… nice," he said slowly, when they walked in, his eyes falling on her small second-hand couch.

"Tiny," she countered. "You can say it."

"No, _you_ are tiny," laughed Harry. "This is… _cozy_."

"Yeah, it _is_ cozy," she smiled contentedly.

He was looking around in interest. "What's with the scratching post?"

"For Persephone, when she comes."

Harry gave her a questioning look, and she explained, "My cat. I can't believe I never told you about my cat."

"I can't believe it either," he chuckled, strolling over to the kitchen. "So is this it then?"

"A tiny little bedroom. I mean, cozy," she amended.

"Let's see."

She pointed him in the direction, and he poked his head around the door frame, commenting after a moment, "Cozy."

"Yeah," giggled Luci from behind him.

Abruptly, he turned, seizing her, and they both fell into the doorframe.

"Ow!" she exclaimed, and he caught her just before she lost her balance.

"Sorry," he bubbled. "Got a little too eager. It's just… we're alone. In a good location…"

"Mmm hmm," she managed breathlessly.

She could only guess at what he was implying, until he kissed her ardently, pressing her into the wall behind them.

It felt like being on a rollercoaster. Her mouth never wanted to let go of his. A fist of desire squeezed rhythmically, creating ebbs and flows of heat, and she allowed herself to lose all control. She deepened the kiss and began to wrestle with his shirt, attempting to pull it up.

He muttered something against her lips, and she ceased instantly. "What?"

"I…" he panted.

She frowned, suddenly afraid, suddenly worried that this was the moment that he was going to abandon her.

He didn't meet her eyes, but choked, "Luci, I've… never…"

It took her a moment to process the words, but then her jaw went slack. "You…? No? Not with… her?"

Harry shook his head awkwardly, and relief crashed within her. _Not with her_. She couldn't prevent the pleased smile from forming on her face.

"But the whole _location_ thing. You've been so… insistent…" she marveled anyway.

"On _kissing_ you!" he corrected her. "For as long as I wanted. Without any interruptions. Not… _that_."

"Oh," she muttered, mortified, the heat flooding her cheeks. "Oh."

He sighed and moved away from her, further into her bedroom, regrettably, and turned his back. "I know you probably think it's mental, but… I haven't had a normal life, you know? And I'm sure you've done this loads of times, so–"

"Harry," she cut him off, and he returned to face her.

He looked humiliated, and she almost laughed, but she managed to say instead, "I haven't either."

His eyes widened and he spluttered, "Wh-what? But you're…"

"Freakishly old, I know."

"No… freakishly… beautiful," he grinned, and she beamed in response.

"My life hasn't been normal either, I guess. And I just… never found the right person," she concluded. "Until now."

Affection flooded his eyes and he moved towards her again, wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm sorry," whimpered Luci, swimming in his splendid eyes. "I didn't mean to push you. I jumped to conclusions. Once again."

"I was just… surprised," he said, his cheeks pink. "It's not that I don't… _want_ to…"

She laughed, but the sound was stifled as Harry brought their mouths together once more. His skin was so hot that she felt sure that he was branding her. She purred at the intensity of the new kiss and he emitted a soft moan in response. The same one that had been echoing magnificently in her head since the first moment she'd heard it…

This time, he was the one who went for the clothing, his fingers fumbling with the zipper on her cardigan. And Luci had no intentions of stopping him.


	51. Epilogue

_Dear Readers,_

_It has been requested many times that I write the wedding, so I thought I'd give my fans what they want. However, I don't think that I would have done it otherwise, as I felt it isn't totally in character with the rest of the story. You can even see how I copped out a little and didn't write the ceremony, ha. But I do hope you enjoy it, and I thank you with all my heart for going on this journey with me. I love writing, and you all make it even more spectacular for me!_

_Love,_

_Sunny_

**Epilogue**

She hadn't thought that he'd ever ask her. Not really. He just didn't seem the type. He was restless, just like she was. And though she didn't deny this about herself, her heart had settled with him. If his hadn't done the same, well… she only wanted him to be happy.

So when Harry _did_ ask her to marry him, Luci had nearly gone out of her mind with elation. And now she was sitting here, in this extravagant and ridiculous white dress, about to announce their love to the world.

It was a crisp March afternoon, a few days after her twenty-third birthday. She was staring into the back yard of the Burrow, watching Sirius and her mother as they ran around after Fleur's two energetic children. They looked happier than ever, after almost a year of marriage, and her mother's evident joy made Luci's heart buoy, despite its fretful racing.

Hermione was directing Fred and George as they were setting up appetizers on a table, all while holding Charlie in one arm. Ron was standing awkwardly in his tuxedo, near the terrace arch that was covered in white flowers and would soon become an altar. He seemed to be talking to himself, most likely going over his speech as best man.

She wondered where Harry was hiding. Perhaps downstairs in the house. Waiting. She wondered if he was as on edge as she was. She wished that she were with him right now, even though it was almost one o'clock. It wouldn't be long.

The weather was beautiful and clear. The rows of chairs were filling with people, most of whom Luci didn't know, though all of the members of the Order were there, and she recognized a few of Harry's classmates from Hogwarts.

Then she saw Josh pacing anxiously beneath the large tree in the yard, looking a little nauseous. She couldn't imagine why, since he'd been dating some girl from Tempe for months. Perhaps she shouldn't have invited him… But it wouldn't be the same without her friends from home.

Kristen, who had been living in London for a few months now, was talking flirtatiously to some guy, the only person in the vicinity who was taller than her. Amy and Justin, also planning a wedding, hadn't been able to make it, but they'd sent a wrapped box that was sitting in a pile of other gifts on yet another big table. It was absurd, all of it. And Luci had the most awful headache.

Maybe it wouldn't last long. As soon as they were married, she and Harry were heading off to travel together, starting with Arizona. She was very excited about this part. They'd been talking about it for months now, while other people had planned their wedding.

"Eef jou don't turn avay fwum zat window, jou vill see Harwee and wuin ev-wee-zing!"

Luci sighed and spun around on her chair. Fleur was waving her wand over Luci's blonde tresses in an attempt to return the favor from her own wedding, almost three years ago.

"Jou are not act-eeng like a voman getting mare-weed," scolded Fleur.

"I'm trying," mumbled Luci. "Weddings are just so… _cheesy_. It seems like such a private thing, but then all of these people are staring at you..."

At this moment, Ginny bustled into the room carrying a bouquet of flowers and chirping, "You mean you don't want to be stared at? I don't think Fleur can fathom that."

The sisters-in-law still seemed to find ways to poke at each other, though Luci felt that the teasing had grown more good-natured with time.

"Zee's wight, I cannot."

Luci laughed. "Probably better to be you then."

"Zere! Eet eez feen-ished! I am a zenius!"

Fleur turned Luci's body, so that she could see herself in Ron's old mirror. Her silvery hair was pulled into a messy bun behind her head, with strands falling wistfully against her shoulders. It really was lovely, and she couldn't help smiling.

"He'll love it," commented Ginny, handing her the bouquet, and Luci wondered how the red-head could be so supportive. If it were her, she wouldn't have even shown up. Though Luci had enjoyed a glimpse of Ginny's date for this occasion, and he was a little bit spectacular, so perhaps she shouldn't be feeling any guilt, after all.

Luci took her eyes off of her hair in time to find that Draco had appeared in the doorway. He was smiling at Ginny as she left the room, and something inside of Luci jolted protectively. But there was no time for it now.

"Are you ready?" asked her brother, looking uncomfortable in his stiff, black tuxedo.

"Ready as I'll ever be," she muttered, getting to her feet and feeling her stomach rise a little faster than the rest of her.

"Enjoy eet!" chimed Fleur, who then drifted away soundlessly.

"You look nice," said Draco, when they were alone. "Nervous though."

Luci smiled faintly, her insides writhing, and he extended his arm to her. She took it, and they began to move silently down the stairs, though she couldn't really feel her legs. She could hear that the music had started, and when they reached the living area, they saw Arthur scurrying into the back yard.

This was it.

And Draco must have realized it too, because he blurted, "I don't know if I can do this, Luce."

She stopped in place and pressed her lips together. She'd been afraid of this.

"Drake, I do have a back-up, if you really don't want to," she replied, but she wanted only him.

"It's just… I'm not exactly _supportive_ of all of this…"

"But you want me to be happy?" she asked, almost pleadingly.

"You could be happy with someone else!" he exclaimed, finally meeting her eyes.

"No, I couldn't," she said firmly, hardly believing that he was still in this place, after all of the years that she'd been with Harry, and that he was choosing to voice it in this charged moment.

Her brother sighed.

She sighed too.

"Do you want me to ask Josh?"

He shook his head. "No, this is mine to do."

"Then let's do it," she encouraged, mostly wanting to get it over with.

They both stepped hesitantly forward, into the back yard of the Burrow. Luci's eyes immediately went to Harry, and her heart leapt when he gave her a warm smile. He looked beautifully tense. Draco's arm went rigid around her own, and she pressed his hand reassuringly. And then they were walking, floating really, towards Harry, who stood next to Ron, the latter of who was shifting his weight impatiently.

And everyone was staring at her. But it didn't matter, because he was waiting for her, and for the rest of their lives together. And when she reached him, and he took her hands, she could see all of her emotions reflected in his eyes. And there was nowhere else that she'd rather be.


End file.
